Rap Battle.

Words and phrases I could choose, but I decided just to peruse:

http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

I'm looking for a rap battle along those lines. The same rules generally apply, most importantly that meter should not be considered in the decision. Thanks to my opponent for accepting.

I'd like to thank my opponent for the opportunity to participate in another rap battle on this website, after my first one (with untitled_entity) was deleted without explanation. Hopefully this one turns out to be just as fun and less controversial. I personally find it odd that Pro does not want meter to be considered in a debate that takes place in the form of a RAP BATTLE, since meter is defined as the basic rhythmic structure of a verse, which one would essentially assume is a critical judging point. However, I will accept the terms... I guess. Good luck, Pro. I look forward to the first official round.

I Unite Arabs, the Emir of Rhyme
Words rich, never the miser
The cold Kaiser, my rhymes create rime
Put you deep in the mire, that cold abyss
I freeze the earth's core and pour from every orifice
Your words remiss, mine bring bliss
Slash you like a Swiss, lyrical Flash all fans reminisce
Language strains I enlist, flow with no qualm
Drop a bomb like ‘Nam while I'm calm
Aplomb, sitting with the trees that's palm
Breeze from my thought, a prophet seeking profit
Crafting phrases sublime, a cellar door seller
My verse blazes, sends fans into crazes
Raises verbal maize to flourish and nourish the mind
Razes your field so to you this art won't yield
So grab your books for my psychedelic styles
And I'll leave you shook while my intellect accumulates in piles
So watch and look: E=MC squared, in my path no mass fared
Nuclear fusion, bringing massive intrusions beyond your contusions
My lyrical bombs hit, profusion
Preclusion, when you bring your attack
Sittin' back, talkin' smack, I dominate the track leavin' you wack
Never static, my joules are kinetic, yours are synthetic, purely cosmetic
Heat like enthalpy I'm frenetic, beasting's my genetic
Prophetic when I bring this arithmetic through this poetic
Leave you pathetic apologetic with no anesthetic
Open my lyrical box, like Pandora, a plethora of rage
Building my utopia with this cornucopia of skill
Bringin' the heck out, got a knife at your neck, don't shout
Now you're just someone I... "fought."

You think you're so bomb but all that you're dropping are deuces
Say you're uniting Arabs but I ain't heard of no truces
So you're useless; empty words like Confucius
And your whack rap's the same crap as the rest of them douches
Talking bout how your rhymes are so dangerous, like a cold blooded murderer
But I ain't afraid of this cuz I ain't never heard of ya
You're another wannabe rapper who's never gonna make it
Disagree? Post a challenge, I'll take it - let's debate it
You're wasted. All you're gonna do is fake it.
The proof? Your last verse was clearly copy and pasted
So congratulations. You got yourself a thesaurus
Prolly figured it would help you out witcha chorus
But here's some advice and don't consider it provisionary
I think you oughta look up 'creativity' in the dictionary
Your originality's slacking, and, it's lacking man
Content so tired I swore I took an Ambien
Quick, 911, someone call the ambulance
I'll be the doctor that somehow tries to salvage this
You gave me nothing to work with but don't worry I will manage this
Dissecting your last bad verse like a determined surgeon
Man you d1cked it so bad I almost cried like a virgin
But this was worse so I curse this - your brain must be hurting
Trying so hard to sound smart and I dunno that it's working
You think you sound clever with your physics and chem
But here are some real lyrics, Tesla, why don't you study them
Cuz I think you need to if you don't wanna fail out
This battle's like the economy: you gonna need a bail out
You wanna talk about math? Alright check this equation:
You + your boring rap equals my subtraction of patience
Meanwhile I burn it up like a triangle: 180 degrees
And my words aimed to hurt consume like a disease
E = MC squared? Really, you must be Einstein himself
Now go put your Physics For Dummies back on the shelf
I feel like I'm back in high school with the way that you're testing me
Clearly you're the class clown if you think you're impressing me
I know my homophones are better, my homonyms are wetter
See: I'll weather the stormy weather like like Rihanna's umbrella (ella ella)
Man you gotta weather the weather whether you like it or not
So is that all that you got? If so you lost your shot
Now my advice - Listen when I'm talkin to ya
Go get that glock and make that shot count like Chocula
Put that bullet to your head cuz your originality is dead or was
Never even there like Santa Clause on Christ-a-mas
But don't fret - he's just busy in his factory
And maybe next year he'll bring you a verse that's satisfactory
See I know you want me to bring it but you'll never get it outta me
Cuz once I start then I won't stop like an Energizer battery
So here are some final words straight from me to ya
Strop trying to sound like the damn encyclopedia
And come at me with something worthy of multimedia
Cuz right now you're spent like a burned out meteor

Excuse me, that verse just made me sick–as in, bad
First thing's first: untitled_entity needs to get off that d-ck you wish you had
I'll burn you before you even realize it, like a corona
And you should really ditch that wack a-ss persona
Spare us your histrionics, you're fake, rhyming with ebonics
I spit phonics at speeds sonic and rock tectonics
With turbine flow while yours is saturnine, slow
This sh-t you spit makes you the hypocrite
I don't need to misspell words or use fake grammar
When I drop lexical hammers, you grew up in the glamour
In a real battle you'd do nothing but stammer
Maybe brag about surviving the slammer
That time you were a teen, but like any young white chick
It was just for some stupid sh-t like shoplifting
Then you talked about how you grew up a thrift
Be honest, harshness you've never even sniffed
So quit thinking you're dapper, and acting like a gang rapper
Stop "witcha" "ain'ts," "cuz" really "man," "ya" just "ain't"
And don't call me unoriginal, when you're just straight phony
Pretending you aren't the virgin, the only time you rode a pony
Was growing up rich, so I'm sorry, but just stop being a fake b-tch
And just watch as I bring it and get crowned the king
Call me Basilic cause I rock every civic
All around the Pacific, dropping mad physics
It's beyond high school, these laws define you and me
See, the root of my E is being an MC
I guess they don't teach that at your third-tier university
So let me educate you again:
Check it, I defeat MCs for breakfast
Eat up, crack the neck last
Hack ‘em up in a sec fast, no casts all pieces I blast
Raise the skull and bones on my mast
Notches on my cutlass all kills I amassed
Through my system they all passed
Excretory through my emunctory the Flash'll slash ‘em all with perfunctory
I knock two birds with one stone and tell my story alone
With multiplicity of my personality duplicity I'm schizophrenic
Bringing rhymes carcinogenic pathogenic back from times Hellenic
Purely authentic purely eugenic, straight serious imperious and furious
Mysterious leaving fools delirious, haters whip out the calculators
To figure out my style but my mental trips ‘em all into the dead pile
So I'll catch ‘em later, I'm the greater creator run circles round the equator
Master debater nailing verbal craters, hip-hop vindicator
Curator, all rappers I assailed impaled exhaled
On this tour of my mental stylings
So let me wrap it all up:
Just remember, I always bounce back elastically
Then I drop bombastically, drastically, flurry spastically
From my rhyme book scholastically
I school MCs ecclesiastically and monastically
Oh, PS, I didn't know Vi_Veri was into beastiality

If you think that you sound smart then you need a Clue real badly
Too bad I've got the Monopoly on games from Milton Bradley
Your verse's impertinent and worst of all it's worth forgetting
You need some antiperspirant from my rhymes that you are sweating
All the last round did was make you sound like a real idiot
Grasping desperately at straws; gotta bring other people into it
I find it funny though cuz I ain't seen a bigger hypocrite
Mocking my diction simply cuz you ain't manning up and bringing it
After saying "fought" rhymes with "shout" man -
Who needs the English lesson now?
Clearly you can't rap but don't worry I'll show you how
Here's a hint: Grammar doesn't matter in an epic rap assault
But I see that you're struggling so I won't hold you at fault
The fact, Jack, is that your rhymes lack; they're whack
So maybe you should fix THAT before hating on my syntax
Bragging about the speed of your flow as if that matters online
Can't get a girl of your own so you gotta talk about mine
And I know it must hurt your ego that others know that my flow's dope
They go LMFAO when they checking out yours though
Again trying too hard just to sound intellectual
But like I said it's ineffectual much like ya sexual
I'm here to bring ya correctional very unconventional
Make ya verse bleed so bad you'd think that it was menstrual
So give it up, man, nobody thinks that your brain's bomb
We all know you can't perform without Dictionary.com
And let me give you a cookie for knowing how to use Spell Check
Too bad there's no button for nookie cuz I bet that you need sex
I mean why else would you be talking about d1cks and some lesbians?
Your sad act so dramatic that I thought you were a thespian
But I'm the director so let me tell you how this plays out
Scene three and your character is simply gonna fade out
At this point no one even knows what you are talking 'bout
So there goes your credibility; you're suffocating there's no doubt
I mean I am appalled, now you're just making stuff up
Trying to sound tough but it's rough when your bluff's called, yup
Me a shoplifter in jail? Now where did you get that?
Yeah my flow is so good but that don't mean I'm a hood rat
Nowhere did I say that I was some kinda criminal
Clearly you're incapable of writing something that's original
And I'm not sympathetic to your made up stories so synthetic
There's nothing aesthetic about your verses so hectic
Consisting of nothing but lies man you sound so pathetic
So eagerly desperate to come up with something phonetic
But my verse so electric you'd have sworn it's magnetic
It's cuz I'm eclectic and you're just oh so generic
Maybe one day you'll grow a d1ck that's not prosthetic
I've just been blessed with intelligence without having to try hard
Crafting rhymes is my art and you just sound like a retard
As if you could actually out battle me; don't worry - I'll fix this
The only place you'd out-rattle is in the Special Olympics
You're E might be MC but me I am MC squared
Like Pythagorean theorem my verse delirium leaves you come-back impaired
But come back, next time at, me with a verse not pre-prepared
Unless you're scared to be paired with one who's intellect is shared
Cuz when you do it seems that you cannot really battle her
I am the circumference and you are my diameter
Your flow is limited to monotonous word barrier
But I'm the dope carrier; My flow knows no parameter
I'll bring you down every time like the gravitational constant
Your garbage doesn't come close to my improvisational content
Might as well call you Oscar cuz what you're spitting is trash
Step into that Ring of Fire, Johnny, you're Cashed
Your genius is trivial; my rhyme's cleanness is convivial
See yours are elementary and mine rocks like sedimentary
That dead sh1t you choose to spit isn't fit for an obituary
Thus far I've been complementary and calm for sh1t that's heavy
But run your mouth again and I'll ice you like February
All this hating, you must be compensating for something that you're lacking
I'll call you Mr. Hershey cuz I think that you're fudge packing
I mean why else would you go off on some kinda misogyny
Unless you're insecure because you're just so into sodomy
So it's time to stop fronting cuz it's clear that you got nothing
I heard you out and I highly doubt that somewhere I missed something
If I did, sorry, your verse had me catching Z's like Dragon Ball
And no Vi's not into beasts; I just fvck her like an animal

Alright, your ship's sinking and unmanned, but I'll play on like the band
I'm giving it to you firsthand, but you just don't seem to understand
It's not just that crude grammar or diction
But that the attitude you're putting on is just fiction
You can come in with a grand demeanor
And act like you're leaner and meaner
But when it comes to doing dirt you're always the cleaner
You're trying too hard to get that gangster brand
But you sound canned, your lines are too planned and bland
Trying to act a ghetto rapper, but you're just tanned
And attitude-wise, well, your comments show you've got serious vagina sand
You have no command so you're about to get fanned
Get banned from this land, Lwerd's fans disband
As I expand, the Flash is in high demand
I drive folk wild like Hideo Nomo
And might I say, it's pretty gay that you joke about being homo
Because, A., you're a lesbian
and B. you're straight wack with this fake culture
Trying to act black, but it's just deceit, Machiavellian
This moment's a juncture cause your lies are punctured
You know nothing of the street
So you cheat to try and compete with the elite
But as an MC, you're incomplete, you just weren't discreet
I'll greet you with my lyrical heat
And you try to retreat but nonstop, I excrete rhymes
With my flow so fleet, beyond replete
Rinse and repeat, this message is concrete
You're depleted, mincemeat
The last thing you hear will be this verse's beat
Then I'll give Vi_Veri a sweet treat
(In case you don't know, that means eat my meat)
Then pass on some of my gamete
While she shouts skeet skeet skeet
Once I'm done with that screw I'll come back to bombing you
Remember this, I enumerate hip-hop commandments
My words proliferate and incinerate the illiterate
When I iterate literal visceral verses
My integral rhymes accelerate through time
Where they reverberate and temper hate
Heavy doses of my lyrical douses when I deuterate
Some say my slayings are immoderate
Too bad I'm inconsiderate, beasting's really imperate
I'll give it you straight, with no adulterate
I don't need to act the delinquent, it's evident I'm grandiloquent
My eloquence is heaven sent, dominating frequent
Never relinquent and of consequent MCs become obsequent
Magniloquent altiloquent but I keep it real, veriloquent
Crown me the rap consular
I bring rhymes spectacular past your cellular into the molecular
My style's irregular, jocular but vocabulary above the vernacular
Blow tracks up into nebular, leave MCs incapacitated
Debilitated with my verbal acid like acetate
Made minds agitated when I cogitated
Mental flux, rhymes deluxe bring me mad bucks
My style's a crux, an unending conundrum
Momentous when I spit lyrics tremendous and stupendous
I ensure it's never a humdrum
I blind this with my allure
After enduring your manure
Demure with hip-hop, so lyrics complex I procure
Sure to cure the impure
This battle's over, rest assured
A PRO's victory's been secured.

Haha - nice verse - you must be MC Peter Pan
The only place you'd get with Vi is Never Never Land
Tonight when she's with me you'll be enjoying your right hand
Just close your eyes and wrap around - elastic rubber bands
O.M.G I'm M.V.P and you're just sitting in the stands
Too blind to see it clearly that you'd never stand a chance
Sit like a paraplegic; I ride her like Tour de France with Lance
Now quick go get a tissue; you've got some white stuff on your pants
But hey that's not the issue; I don't mean to F-up your plans
It's just that I'm a cool cat and you're as damn square as a dance
She read that verse and inevitable hysterical laughter ensued
Then said your rap's forgettable; just ask her - she snoozed
So I told her what it said; so regrettable and amused
Then excused ourselves to bed to have our fluids transfused
She couldn't refuse so she gave me head and I made her feel used
But don't be confused; as we ooze'd she was more than enthused
See I know exactly how to please her; I'm a woman connoisseur
You could only tease her so stick to jizzing in your drawers
Or better yet why don't you go and brush up on your calculus
Did some hip-hop dialysis and came up with this analysis:
Like a dumbell I'll grab you; raise you up like Lazarus
And yes I just compared myself to Jesus of Nazareth
I'll go to hell but all is well if you could just imagine this
The devil himself would shake and say "I gotta get you outta this"
Cuz my rhymes are official; hotter than 1 million degrees
Your initial come back's superficial like artificial "cheese"
So smile for this Kodak moment, then I'll rattle you like a disease
Took this battle and with my chattel I'm gonna own it indeed
Please, like cattle your grazed rhymes are hardly worth my time
I'm blazed and I'm fine; In many ways I'm a 9
My words are appraised; they're amazed, it's a sign
The stakes are raised and after days the win's mine
You're rounding the first corner, I'm at the finish line
My temper's getting warmer as I listen to you whine
"Oh, you're so fake, and I've got such a big vocabulary"
Shut up or I'll bust your nuts with the force of the constabulary
Assuming that you had some; they probably haven't fallen
I'll eat your rhymes for breakfast like a Buffet, Mr. Warren
You're like a Gucci knock off; your entire style's stolen
My girlfriend gets your rocks off like geology you just told 'em
Or rather you told all of us but clearly you're mistaken
She'd rather fvck a cactus even if she wasn't taken
So have some sensibility and humility with your sterility
And let me give you a lesson on some rapping credibility
Try not to sound stupid every time you open your mouth
Popping sh1t off that you know nothing about
I make it rain like a storm: thunder, no doubt
Your vain lyrics are dryer than a hot summer drought
So here we go, come on, let's finish this out
Your whack a$s dimished by me definitely no doubt
Going on about your legitimacy but to me that sounds absurd too
As it just occurred to me that you probably have a curfew
Bad like Michael Jackson for breaking it; your mom will beat your hard a$s
But she'd be glad to know you're faking it with flashcards from SAT class
I mean you must be kidding if you think that your vocab impresses
Your flow doesn't come close to what my own skill possesses
You're stagnant, I'm progressive; Of my girlfriend you're obsessive
So I'm feeling possessive and you're damn right I'll address this
Not because I'm nervous but because you seem quite piteous
Don't have a picture on your profile? Damn you must be quite hideous
So keep it moving when you see Vi; don't think that you can hit on this
I'm fastidious when I say your crap rap might as well be gibberish
Ok I get it - you're literate, but when it comes to battle the readers won't consider it
I'm considerate; you're an idiot; keep making false claims
And dropping some names, all your lines sound the same
Stating that I'm phony, so I just wanted to thank ya
Got your cronie to scold me - just made you sound like such a wanksta
For saying I try to be gangsta; what a stupid a$s assumption
I'm Evil Kinevil and you're just a pu$$y - no gumption
But I don't blame you since that's the only vag you prob know
I could give you some tips but that isn't part of my job though
So better get that choke hold on tribefan's d1ck and you know
Start to blow but don't let him explode or he won't put it up your smoke hole
You seem to think that you're so cool with your big words of polysyllables
But I bring the Good Word in verse not terse but biblical
You're cursed cuz you are trivial, and worse with words - that is not ill
I elevate the mind with rhymes so metaphysical
My analogies sensational; yours leaving them insatiable
So get to work; tribefan doesn't need any more fellatio
You wanna know the score well here let me give you the ratio:
theLwerd - 3, you - zero, now let me dismiss you like Horatio
How did you like that reference oh so Shakespearean?
Damn I just keep on blowing you up like I am helium
My lyrics they are so tight; everyone is feeling them
All the smart ones know I'm better so it's time you start believing them
I am superior to your exterior in very many ways
It took me an hour to write this; sorry you needed three days
So let's extract the fact that this very battle displays:
The cards have been weighed and I've got the Ace of Spades
It's time my chips were called in; sorry you got played
Call me Michael Jordan with the way that my shots fade
And just like him I'll call it quits; it's time to just retire
I know it's past your bed time but as for me I am just tired
Well now you know what's at (steak) so I dare you: Come and get mine
But as you know my flow's (rare) so I hope for your sake there's no next time