The Instigator
Masterful
Pro (for)
Tied
6 Points
The Contender
Oppenheimer1934
Con (against)
Tied
6 Points

Rap battle but you have to dis yourself

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 3 votes the winner is...
It's a Tie!
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 8/9/2017 Category: People
Updated: 11 months ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 624 times Debate No: 103464
Debate Rounds (2)
Comments (18)
Votes (3)

 

Masterful

Pro

Considering I'd know nothing about my opponent I can't dis him/her meaningfully, so it makes sense to dis myself instead and compliment them. Make it as close to reality as possible.

-3 wins to accept.

-No Jews can accept because they're bias against lord Hitler.

Good luck.

_____________________________________________________________
My family
______________________________________________________________

My nan gave me a genital wart, she wasn't gentle and ate me out with a fork
She began to feast on my butt hole, I farted then shat in a nut bowl.
She began to dig around like a mole, felt like I was giving birth to a foal.

My granddad is known as my nandad, He's an analific nomad, Jizzing like he's the launch pad.
I just stand there with my mouth wide, I let him slip it in the backside, it made him so horny that he died.

My mums a lesbian buffalo, she bums me with her big toe,
I pick the crusty poo out of her butt hair, it tastes like rust slew so beware.

Sold as a sex slave from China, my dad's a 10 year old minor, he lives in my mums vagina.
He only eats the jizz that enters her, he tells me this life was meant for ya
I used to finger his young bum, but he dead now so I got no where to cumm
He's rotting in my mums fanny, while she squatting on a Pakistani.

R.I.P father
Oppenheimer1934

Con

Ight, bet. Great topic.

Kick it back easy, my alcoholic tendencies
Feeling real breezy, pissin' in my sheets, see,
Hate my life cuz I can't get laid,
Cut myself cuz I ain't get paid.
Can't keep a job for more than 30 f*ckin' minutes
Lose my train of thought whilst I'm spittin' that sentence

When I sit in school, I act a fool, and write music with my spare time.
I get home and beat my tool, slow jam beat retarded with lyrical rhyme.
Blisters on my right hand, Jell-O on my penis
Shoulda closed the blinds so that the neighbors couldn't see us
Bestial by nature, beating up the p*ssy
got caught red handed by PETA, eatin' out my puppy
Less of a dis, more of a lie,
Killed my last relationship one too many times
Can't get the truth straight, can't get my head straight,
I'm havin' to decide with pornstar I want to fake impregnate.
Debate Round No. 1
Masterful

Pro

I fondle my dogs butt,
In which Ill bust a nut,
This will readjust its gut.
Its just what I do, bumming dogs and sniffin glue.
I'll lick its a.s.s and taste its poo.
I just love dog puss in ma field of view.
There is nothing hotter than dog domination.
Where I use its butt as a docking station,
And I don't care if there's any cooperation,
Because raping the thing is my obligation.

I live in a wet box
Where I get c*cks,
Cus I'm a filthy man whore,
Shaggin all the homeless who are post war
You'll get ma d*ck through your front door
I've even got an anal mentor,
who I hate and deplore,
Cus I'm a rape victim,
They call me "d*cks in"
Then they say "I think we tricked him"

I drink 18 cans of beer a day, its turned me into a helpless gay,
I'm drunkenly paralytic, I have AIDs and I'm diabetic,
My burnt face is grossly mutilated,
And my fat a.s.s is mostly stimulated

I cry myself to sleep every night,
I'm real self-conscious about my height,
I'm 3 foot 3 and addicted to bestiality,
A wider bum hole is my only guarantee.
Oppenheimer1934

Con

Kicked myself out on the street cuz I can't tell the time,
My girl just dumped me cuz I can't spit any rhymes,
She wants a poet, I'm just a joke,
Swallow my feelings so hard it makes me choke.
Enough about me, more about you;
What's the big idear with your attitude?
I get that its a dis track, roast yourself, play me,
But you're just a rapist, that's just plain to see.
Man with all this rapin' you should see a doctor,
Probably got the clap from your ECA proctor,
Sleepin with your teacher to make those grades,
Weak a*s d*ck game the only way you make A's.
Your spelling is a hot mess, your grammar is a wreck,
If I had to grade your paper, I'd just yell out "NEXT"

Now that I got that off my chest we can rap some,
Now that I put you in your place I can beat on my own drum.
Let's get dark, talk about my brain,
The only place in this world I can misbehave.
Always in the darkness, thinking in my thoughts,
So sick of always living I got my trachea in knots.
Hung myself off the back porch, Boyscouts never failed me,
Hanging with a cold corpse, scrapes all on my knees.
Sometimes I cut myself just to see how much it bleeds,
Because every single night I bite the hand that feeds.
Always turn to drugs so I can escape
Always out my head so I can simply think straight.

Last verse, spittin', call that conclusion
Put the beat to rest, it died of heart contusions.
Can't even complete your own challenge,
I didn't hear a dis track, I heard a rap sheet.
Put in you in intensive psychotherapy,
I know it won't work cuz you'll blame your family.
Less of a dis, more of a confession,
See you in the paper cuz of your rape obsession.
See you in court, call it sex with aggression,
Justify your actions, I'd let you testify,
How a grown man gonna act like he's that fly?
Proud of the man that d*cks down his canine,
You ran out of jokes so you stole one of mine.
You can't even rap well, hang up your hat now.
Forfeit the game before you get beat, son.
This debate's been over, I done already won,
Just thought I'd give a Coup D'Etat to say goodbye,
Done so fast you ain't done waving "hi"
Lyrically murdered this skeevy a*s guy,
Okay, I'm done here, let me drop the mic.
Debate Round No. 2
18 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by JimShady 11 months ago
JimShady
Voting is closed, look in your messages to see if you've won!
Posted by Masterful 11 months ago
Masterful
I'm only seventeen, but I act like a philosopher: True.

My younger sister kicked my @ss when I fought her: True.
Posted by NDECD1441 11 months ago
NDECD1441
Aye
Posted by JimShady 11 months ago
JimShady
Answers are due in two days, the timer starts now with this comment. After two days, I will let you know via private message is you guessed correctly and will award the link. So NDECD, you could have gotten it right, wait and see.
Posted by NDECD1441 11 months ago
NDECD1441
Your profile says 20 yrs old but I think its probably inaccurate.
I think its number 1 and 4.
Posted by JimShady 11 months ago
JimShady
I'm only seventeen, but I act like a philosopher
Even when I'm pumped, my djck couldn't be softer
My younger sister kicked my @ss when I fought her
When I rap in real life, it's hard for me to not slur

Two of these are true, guess which ones right on the first try and you get my Facebook link as a prize.
Posted by NDECD1441 11 months ago
NDECD1441
When you see more of his debates, you will understand averageunicorn. You must learn to get used to seeingthis especially in terms of rap battles.
Posted by JimShady 11 months ago
JimShady
It's funny, don't take it so seriously averageunicorn
Posted by Masterful 11 months ago
Masterful
Unless you were a sex slave you have no reason to be super offended. Besides, who are you to criticise my family problems? My family and I have to live with these facts everyday and I find it super offensive that you would stand on victimised sex slaves in order to take the moral high ground.

Shame on you.
Posted by Youraverageunicorn 11 months ago
Youraverageunicorn
Plus, the things that you say are offending your family and taking things like "sex slave" as a joke. it's not funny and it's super offensive. Also calling your mom a "lesbian buffalo"? dissing yourself in a manner that won't offend anyone else is fine but you're offending not only your family but other people.
3 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Vote Placed by Mharman 11 months ago
Mharman
MasterfulOppenheimer1934Tied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: Masterful dissed himself better.
Vote Placed by JimShady 11 months ago
JimShady
MasterfulOppenheimer1934Tied
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Total points awarded:33 
Reasons for voting decision: Round 1 belongs to Oppenheimer1934, Masterful was funny but con had more to say. Round 2 goes to Pro, mainly because Con (although better rap in my opinion) got off topic by insulting the other rapper. First time I'm giving a tie vote, 3 points to each.
Vote Placed by dsjpk5 11 months ago
dsjpk5
MasterfulOppenheimer1934Tied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: Con's rap had better flow.