Religious debate tourney - The Easter Bunny is superior to Jesus.
Debate Rounds (3)
I accept the terms.
First off, although this debate draws both Jesus Christ and the Easter Bunny (hereby referred to as EB) into conflict, I would like to point out that they actually were/are best bros. Background info: back in the day, Jesus would go up to EB's crib, the garden of Gethsemane, and chill with the EB. Well, one day Jesus missed a planned get together with the EB, this upset EB a great deal. When the EB found out Jesus was busy being crucified though, all was forgiven, literally.
The EB was originally referred to as the Eastern Hare. Born roughly 5,000 years ago, the EB is a sentient man sized relative of the species Lepus americanus. The EB actually pre dates Christianity, with some of the earliest references dating back to ancient Germanic tribes. Today, the EB heads a 3.8 BILLION dollar industry , yet actually brings in no income. He was also a 2008 GOP candidate for President, with an approval rating higher than that of Obama! But of course the most impressive role the EB plays is that of a special agent for the Temporal Integrity Commission .
Every now and then, the future decides that it might be better off without certain people around, rather than come here to "take care" of the problem people themselves, they send a message to their specialists, natives to the timeline that can be trusted . Sending data vs. matter is much more efficient, and the EB has never failed them . The EB typically intercepts targets at local malls and candy stores before relocating them to a new part of the globe, where they will lead a different life and not leave the future in chaos.
The EB is also one of the world's greatest philanthropists. Every year, he delivers chocolate and candy to roughly 550,000,000 families worldwide in less than 24 hours. From the frozen wastes of Siberia to the intense rain forests of the Amazon, it doesn't matter. Recently, in response to the tragedies at Tunguska  and Dyatlov Pass , greater international oversight administered by the United Nations has lead to a live tracker where you can actually view the EB's current location .
When he isn't surprising children with candy (or time travel), he's surprising the enemies of freedom. In the video linked, you can actually witness a battle between the EB and Genghis Kahn (who was at the time making a bid for the President of everything ever). EB is also a member of Seal Team Six, and although not present at Abbottabad, has taken part in many battles for the land of the free.
All in all, you just have to like the guy, nobody has done more for humanity than this hare. I look forward to my opponents rebuttal with baited breath, thanks and VOTE PRO!
1 - http://www.thespoof.com...
2 - http://www.thespoof.com...
3 - http://en.memory-alpha.org...
4 - http://en.wikipedia.org...
5 - http://en.wikipedia.org...
6 - http://en.wikipedia.org...
7 - http://thecptrackers.com...
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