The Instigator
imabench
Pro (for)
Winning
2 Points
The Contender
JustinAMoffatt
Con (against)
Losing
0 Points

Resolved: Great Britain won the Revolutionary War

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 2 votes the winner is...
imabench
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 9/10/2013 Category: Politics
Updated: 4 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,016 times Debate No: 37581
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (2)
Votes (2)

 

imabench

Pro

I plan on trolling the living sh*t out of this

First round acceptance only
JustinAMoffatt

Con

I accept. FOR 'MURICA.
Debate Round No. 1
imabench

Pro

Evidence for why the British won the Revolutionary War

1) The US flipped sh*t over the Royal Baby

I mean seriously, you could not go on facebook for a week and a half because of all the stuff about the Royal Baby that people were posting. If we truly did win the Revolutionary war, then America wouldnt be giving two sh*ts about the Royal Baby! You think people in China or India who were colonized by the British too gave a sh*t about the Royal Baby? hell no!

The fact that this country absolutely lost its mind over the Royal Baby even more then England did indicates that the British did win the Revolutionary war, and that we are still the property of England.






2) They speak English, we speak English. Coincidence?...... I THINK NOT

Before England came to the US, no one spoke English
After they came, people spoke English
When they allegedly 'lost', PEOPLE STILL SPOKE ENGLISH

It just doesnt add up....






3) The states in the northeast are called 'NEW ENGLAND' for f*cks sake

Clearly the biggest sign that someone has been conquered by a country is if that country RENAMES YOU TO NEW _______ . If we won the Revolutionary War do you really think the patriotic founding fathers would have allowed for half of their country to stay under the name of their former conquistadors? No sir, not on Washington's watch....

However, we still are known as 'New England' to this day which indicates that we are still owned by England and that they won the war





4) They killed more of us then we killed of them

(Every troll debate needs one moderately serious argument)

Americans killed 39,000 British and 7,000 of their allies, The British killed 50,000 Americans and 8,000 of our allies. Numbers wise they won the war

JustinAMoffatt

Con

Responses

1) The US flipped over the Royal Baby

Oh come on. Do you really think anyone cared about that? We Americans just wanted to look cool to our friends overseas... plus it gave us an excuse to tweet about stuff. And if Americans love something... it's McDonalds... but after that comes tweeting.

You know who else loves tweeting (an American invention)? That's right. The Brits. Coincidence? I think not.

2) They speak English, we speak English. Coincidence?

So do Australians. But everyone knows that nobody owns those gangstahs are hardcore up in derr. Ain't nobody controlling Australia.

Granted... Canadians... we're not so sure about.

Point is, you can speak English and still not be owned by England. :P

3) New England

Those traitorous bast*rds just want to think they're part of England. Doesn't mean they are. Texas won't let them secede if they can't. And no one messes with Texas. No one. Cause 'Murica.

4) They killed more of us than we did them

My opponent misunderstands what the 50,000 American dead and wounded means... that is including Civilian casualties which were rife in said were. In reality, America only lost around 8,000 soldiers. As we all know, the battle is won by fighting men, and not women and children.



Evidence for why 'Murica won the Revolutionary War.

1) Supreme dental hygiene

Obviously countries with superior technology aren't ruled by those with lesser technology. And obviously countries with superior technology know proper dental hygiene. So obviously the UK can't possibly rule the USA... because the teeth don't lie.

2) Terrorists screwed with us first

When attacking a group of people, do you go for the man or his kid first? Did you say the man? Well why're you attacking people in the first place?

Oh... right... hypothetical.

Point is, terrorists knew who they were screwing with. They wanted to go after the boss, the head honcho, the United States of America.

3) Colonialism is dead

Ghandi took that little sucker and dropped kicked it back into the 15th century from whence it came.



That is all.
Debate Round No. 2
imabench

Pro

1) The US flipped over the Royal Baby

"Do you really think anyone cared about that?"

Kind of yeah, http://mashable.com...




2) They speak English, we speak English. Coincidence?

"So do Australians. But everyone knows that nobody owns those gangstahs are hardcore up in derr. Ain't nobody controlling Australia. "

Oh great, you believe in Australianism.... The long debunked belief that Australia actually exists....
http://www.debate.org...

Its close minded stubborn people like you who are destroying this country! (which is still owned by the British)




3) New England

"Texas won't let them secede if they can't"

Are you kidding? Texas would LOVE to watch the entire northeast secede, that leaves California and the West coast as their sole remaining enemy!

But thats besides the point. The point is that if America were truly free from the British, they wouldnt keep the name 'New England'.... That would be like France renaming itself 'Germany's B***h' once WWII ended....




4) They killed more of us then we killed of them

" that is including Civilian casualties which were rife in said were. In reality, America only lost around 8,000 soldiers"

America's fighting forces consisted mostly of militia and armed civilians, aka not actual soldiers. The statistic is still valid and the point still stands that they killed more of us then we killed of them.




5) Supreme dental hygiene

"Obviously countries with superior technology aren't ruled by those with lesser technology."

Technology doesnt matter much when the nation with superior technology is dumb as sh**. I mean have you even met the people in Mississippi, Arkansas, Kansas, and South Carolina?

"So obviously the UK can't possibly rule the USA... because the teeth don't lie."

Again, have you even MET the people in Mississippi, Arkansas, Kansas, and South Carolina? The average person in those states have more children then they have teeth at this point.





6) Terrorists attacked the US first.

"Point is, terrorists knew who they were screwing with. They wanted to go after the boss, the head honcho, the United States of America."

Middle Eastern Extremists have been going after England and other European powers LONG before America even came into the picture..... 'The Crusades' ring a bell? Middle Eastern religious nuts waging holy war against the Christian West? Yeah thats been happening long before the US even became a factor.





7) Colonialism is dead

"Ghandi took that little sucker and dropped kicked it back into the 15th century from whence it came."

Yes because Puerto Rico is TOTALLY a free country and TOTALLY not a territory of another super power or anything..... (its funny because they actually arent)

And if colonialism is dead, then why do people want to colonize the Moon and Mars?


JustinAMoffatt

Con

JustinAMoffatt forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 3
2 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Posted by JustinAMoffatt 4 years ago
JustinAMoffatt
Hmm... I'm assuming your British but I'd have to check your teeth to be sure.
Posted by midgemodge123 4 years ago
midgemodge123
americans alway need help from the british you stupid american
all americans think they are great when really you always need the british to bail you out
2 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Vote Placed by RoyLatham 3 years ago
RoyLatham
imabenchJustinAMoffattTied
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Total points awarded:10 
Reasons for voting decision: Arguments about equally funny. since nothing argued is serious, there is nothing left unanswered by the forfeit. Conduct to Pro for endurance.
Vote Placed by TheAntidoter 3 years ago
TheAntidoter
imabenchJustinAMoffattTied
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Total points awarded:10 
Reasons for voting decision: FF