The Instigator
imabench
Pro (for)
Losing
3 Points
The Contender
donald.keller
Con (against)
Winning
8 Points

Resolved: I can freak out the NSA more then you

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 3 votes the winner is...
donald.keller
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 8/27/2013 Category: Politics
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 930 times Debate No: 37087
Debate Rounds (2)
Comments (2)
Votes (3)

 

imabench

Pro

Ok heres how this works, Con and I each have 1 round to try to freak out the NSA (who is likely reading this right now) more then each other.

- 4000 characters
- First round is acceptance only
- You CANNOT simply post a bunch of keywords end to end, you have to actually have some sentence structure and show off some class.
donald.keller

Con

I accept this debate!
Debate Round No. 1
imabench

Pro

ELLOOOO! My name is Machkmood Alla-Balla-Bing-Bong Bin-Laden, I am from Pakistan and I do not like American infidels! I am currently in Florida learning how to fly planes and I also have a one way ticket for a plane trip from Boston to LA but thats part of something else that I'm not allowed to go into detail about. (hint though, crazy sh*t going down on 9/11 ;D)

Anyways, I am looking to purchase some incendiary devices and this thing called 'weapons grade plutonium', I dont know much about it but what I have heard is very interesting to me and my plans that I receive from my courier who ferries plans between me and my former boss who died in Pakistan a while ago. I also used to work with these two Russian Chechnyan kids but they got into trouble for doing something in the Boston Marathon a couple months ago... Kids these days XD

If 'plutonium' isnt something that I can easily find then I will happily purchase anything else that I can used to send infidels to hell in which they belong. I have financial connections with this group in the Middle East who will provide me funds for my purchases, I wont say their name but it rhymes with 'Al-Shmaeda', and they are very interested in anything that can be used to wage this thingy called 'Jihad' on Americans..... I dont know why but I do not ask questions, people who ask questions in my country get placed on the shortlist for people to become suicide bombers and attack targets in the Middle East. I am interested in anything along the lines of 'liquid nitrogen', 'assault rifles', 'destruction of the Zionist infidels in Israel and the removal of American forces from the holy land', you know all that good stuff.....

If you have anything you are willing to sell to me, contact me at "Allah4eva@mujahadeen. IKILLYOU. net", all one word. I also can be reached at 954-Al-Qaeda, if I dont pick up try my cell phone at 675-Tal-iban. And ya, Allah Akbar!
donald.keller

Con

Date: 8/05/2012
Hello. My name is Ali Bahar. I recently moved here for my new job. I'm doing some private work for a few buddies back home, helping them with some plans they have. I can't wait, the party they have planned at the US embassy in Benghazi is going to be a Blast! ;D

Date: 8/20/2012
I was wondering if you guys knew how to woo the ladies, if you know what I mean ;D
I just met the most promiscuous lady of my dreams. Her last name is Alexander... But I'll change that soon enough *wink *wink. Praise Allah!

Date: 8/27/2012
Hello again my woo-savvy friends. I thank Allah for your help.. Me and Ms. Alexander are really going places with this. We've had quite the exciting last few nights.
I asked her about her family. She mentioned her father being a Keith Alexander or something like that... Says he runs some NSO or NFA thingy... I don't know. I hope he likes me, his daughter sure does ;D Praise Allah!

Date: 10/20/2012
Hello again. So I've chatted personally with some of you, and apparently you all seem to think me and Ms. Alexanders past sexual encounters sounded more like rape. Well let me assure you that that's not the case. She never said she didn't want to have sex...

Date: 10/22/2012
Hey... I thought about it last night as we did it.. And I started listening closely, and I think she might have been crying for me to stop... Haha well you can't blame me, it's really hard to understand words through duct tape.
Well either way. She owes me the sex, do you know how much effort I go through to make that secret basement look nice for her?

Date: 2/12/2013
Okay, guys. I think I got her pregnant. I heard on the news that some girl with a name like hers went missing... Poor child. It said she was the daughter of the NSA's head director.
Either way, I decided I'd go check the Mrs, (we got married!!! :D) and I noticed she'd gained some weight. It couldn't be from the food, I only feed her leftovers every other day. She'll thank me when all of her Infidel friends... I mean American friends... Are fat and she still has her thin sexy figure. Praise Allah.

Date: 5/25/2013
Hello again. I didn't want to go to an American doctor, so I called in some friends from Pakistan. I can't tell you their names, but ya. They said she was pregnant. I'm not sure what to do guys.

Date: 7/17/2013
Okay, guys.. I know what I'll do. I just need some information on where I can buy powerful explosives. Not anything strong, just enough to blow up 5 city blocks. You know, small like I used to train with back in Al Qaeda.

Date: 7/18/2013
Hey everyone. I wanted to apologize. I got some messages about my last statement about Al Qaeda. Some of you wanted to know if I was a terrorist or working for the Taliban. I am not. What I meant to say was Al Qeadal, a city somewhere you probably never heard of.

Date: 8/27/2013
Hey. This is the last you are going to hear from me for a long while. I have my plan ready. I'm going to let my wife spend a few days with her father.
I just need coordinates on where a Gen. Keith Brian Alexander lives... When I'm done, I won't have to worry about her pregnancy, or her fathers apparent dislike of me anymore (yea.. Who knew. Never even met the guy and I get word in that he hates me. What kind of crap is that?!)
I have to go now my friends. My UHaul is pulling into the drive. I have to get my newly bought explosives loaded for the big day tomorrow. Also, nvm on the coordinates, my buddies from Pakistan just faxed me the fathers address. I know where to sent the "presents" now.

Boy... I'm gonna miss that girl.. I'm just not ready to be a parent. See you my good friends! Praise Allah.

Date: 8/27/2013
Wait guys. Do you think I should mail the package to them? I don't know how long it would take to arrive. I need to make sure Her and her father are home when the delivery arrives. My father-in-law General Keith (who's name seems shockingly close to that NSA director dude's name. Uh..) will love what I have got him :D

Bye again, my friends! Praise Allah!
Debate Round No. 2
2 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Posted by Sitara 3 years ago
Sitara
You both are equally good in different ways.
Posted by frankiebowman 3 years ago
frankiebowman
Considering the fact that I'm probably already under terrorist watch, I cannot accept.
The idea is very funny though.
3 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Vote Placed by funwiththoughts 3 years ago
funwiththoughts
imabenchdonald.kellerTied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: Con's was more real-looking and therefore more likely to freak someone out.
Vote Placed by leojm 3 years ago
leojm
imabenchdonald.kellerTied
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Total points awarded:04 
Reasons for voting decision: I really liked cons argument better, It was planed out better and was very easy for me to read, I was also very interested in his story. I did though like Pros fun way of telling the story, it was entertaining but not really what I was looking for. Pro, if you make points it will be easier to read and fallow. This was very interesting. Thank you both Pro and Con.
Vote Placed by bsh1 3 years ago
bsh1
imabenchdonald.kellerTied
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Total points awarded:31 
Reasons for voting decision: Parts were really hilarious. Pro's was the funnier one. Con's was creepy. I feel sort of tied. Spelling goes to Con. Arguments go to Pro. Sources are tied.