The Instigator
Jonbonbon
Pro (for)
Winning
1 Points
The Contender
TheSwagNinja
Con (against)
Losing
0 Points

Resolved: If you say "pretty please with a cherry on top" you can get anything you want.

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 2 votes the winner is...
Jonbonbon
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/27/2014 Category: Funny
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,426 times Debate No: 47933
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (23)
Votes (2)

 

Jonbonbon

Pro

Lo, I challenge thee!

First round-Acceptance
Second round-Arguments
Third round-Rebuttal
Fourth round-Summary
TheSwagNinja

Con

Ha! I sneer in contempt at thy peavish ways. Challenge accepted!
Debate Round No. 1
Jonbonbon

Pro

Alas! The challenge hath been answered!

I call upon Hor, god of political trickery to assist me in my battle against this here fool! His name shall be smitten!

Now, enough with the jib-jab.

I will be presenting a logical argument for my position.

Necessity of ice cream:

P1: Desert is subjectively awesome.
P2: Ice cream is subjectively the best desert there is.
P3: Subjectivity can be objective if the subject formulating the opinion is based in truth.
P4: I am the prophet of Morgan Freeman who always speaks truth.
P5: Points 1 and 2 are my opinion.
C: Ice cream is the best desert.

Necessity of cherries:

P1: The best desert in existence necessarily exists.
P2: Cherries necessarily top ice cream.
C: Cherries are necessary for the best desert in existence.

Desert's command on the issue:

P1: The best desert is necessary for prettiness.
P2: Please falls under the category of desert.
C: Cherries are necessary for the existence of please.

Necessity of fulfillment

P1: People say please to politely ask for something.
P2: People should accept polite requests.
P3: Hypothetically everything that should happen must happen.
C: Saying "pretty please with a cherry on top" is necessary for acceptance and must always be accepted.

I look forward to my opponents arguments in the following rounds :D
TheSwagNinja

Con

To start mine argument, and to refute this Hor my opponent speaks off, I begin with a brief outline for ye judges, nincompoops, and others. I shall first begin by stating the case that belongeth to me; and then I shall refute the disgraceful case presented by this opponent I face.

Yon resolution, that stateth "saying pretty please with a cherry on top" shall grant the speaker anything he desires is incorrect. Mine simple logic concludes that, in order to disprove the argument of mine opponent, I needest prove only one instance in which the aforementioned terms proveth to be incorrect. I will present many a logical conclusion, and in doing so, obligate thine vote to the side which is Con.

Disproval of thy Universal Statement
As before stated, mine opponent presenteth what be commonly known as a "universal statement." Let this be interpreted that, according to thou Resolution, saying the phrase mentioned in thou Resolution shall "get anything you want." Whatever that meaneth.

Criterion of Disproval
I begin by providing the criterion upon which my opponent's case may be proven false. It is obviously the choice of yon respondant to the said Resolution on whether or not to accept the said statement. As such, it is neccesary only one person say "no" to the statement "pretty please with a cherry on top" in order for the resolution to be proven false. Whereas the population of the World is currently approximately 7,216,244,283 people, the odds of my Opponent's case being proven true are approximately 0.00000001%. Whereas, it be only necessary to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that my opponent's case is indeed false, as it is impossible to prove universal statements, may it be known that You (judges, readers, nincompoops, impudent slimes, troglodytes, nymphoids and others) are obligated to Vote Con.

To Refute ye Case belonging to thy Opponent
  • Necessity of Ice Cream
    • This "ice cream" mine opponent speaketh of, I know not of it. And, as such, it can not be the "most awesome dessert" for again, this is thy Universal Statement.
    • To say that he is the Prophet of Morgan Freeman is on the same level as the man who claims himself to be a poached egg. This is, in some places, considered a blasphemy, punishable by death.
  • Necessity of Cherries
    • As before stated, Ice Cream is not the most awesome dessert, and as such, the first, second and third points are nulleth and voideth and floweth to the coneth sideth.
  • Necessity of Fulfillment
    • To say that everything that should happen must happen is a logical fallacy. That is subjective to opinion, and cannot be conclusively proven, and as such, flows to the Con side.

Context of Racism

For those of ye who knoweth not, the phrase "with a cherry on top" is a contemptible statment of racial prejudice. Way back in the old days, ye American Colonists used to put Native Americans on top of this "ice cream," thus insulting the red color of their skin, hence the term "cherry." They would drown the poor people in ice cream until they either died, or the rest of the tribe would give anything the colonists wanted. Whereas this is a cruel and unusual punishment, prohibited by yon Bill O' Rights, my opponent's case is not only a fallacy, but also illegal.

And he forgot to put thine apostrophe in the word "opponents" in his closing statement.

Debate Round No. 2
Jonbonbon

Pro

I would like to start off by thanking my opponent for agreeing to debate this with me.

I'd also like to point out that I did troll the first round as there are only three rounds, not four.

Now, moving onto explaining why I won this debate.

My opponent hasn't adequately refuted my argument from ontology. Since dessert exists, the best dessert must exist by necessity. In order to figure out which dessert it is, we need to ask the voice of truth. Here's where my opponent really gets it wrong:

My opponent has attempted to shame the glorious name of Morgan Freeman and deny the fact that I am one of his prophets.



That face says it all.

Now that we know beyond a reasonable doubt that ice cream is the best dessert there is, and it is necessary for existence.

Now since all ice cream comes with a cherry on top (whether you ask for one or not), we must conclude that cherries are necessary for ice cream.

Now that we know beyond a reasonable doubt that both of these are necessary we must begin to look at the implications of the please.

My opponent dropped my argument of the greatest dessert's necessity to pretty and please, therefore we must assume it's truth.

Now that we know this, we must come to the realization that every must is being worked out in the grand scheme of the universe.

All "musts" will happen.

Now that we know that, it is easy to conclude that when you asked for something "pretty please with a cherry on top" your wish will be met.

My opponent has brought no actual examples where the premise is false. His criterion of disagreement is therefore unsupported.

It would also be unfair if he brought up new arguments in the last round.

With that I conclude.

Thank you everyone for reading, and I wish my opponent good luck on his last round!
TheSwagNinja

Con

TheSwagNinja forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 3
23 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by TheSwagNinja 2 years ago
TheSwagNinja
i bet it was 😂
Posted by Jonbonbon 2 years ago
Jonbonbon
Lol yeah, this was the most fun I've had in a comment thread aside from my debate with InvisibleDeity.
Posted by 9spaceking 2 years ago
9spaceking
wow lol funny comments
Posted by TheSwagNinja 2 years ago
TheSwagNinja
The event known as "the debate" hast scornfully escaped mine mind until such a time that my argument may no longer be posted.
Posted by Joyyan 2 years ago
Joyyan
Easy. "Please state that everyone who says 'Pretty please with a cherry on top' cannot get anything they want. Pretty please, with a cherry on top!"
Posted by Jonbonbon 2 years ago
Jonbonbon
But alas! Thou hast only a mere 17 hours to post thine response!
Posted by TheSwagNinja 3 years ago
TheSwagNinja
thou art but an uncultured swine who will be crushed beneath the foot soles of justice like the scum of the earth.
Posted by Jonbonbon 3 years ago
Jonbonbon
[Censored by the DDO Elite]
Posted by TheSwagNinja 3 years ago
TheSwagNinja
One does not simply claim to be the prophet of Morgan Freeman, who always uttereth truth. Thou impudent slime, thou shalt be but a slithering squid to my next argument.
Posted by Jonbonbon 3 years ago
Jonbonbon
Thous canst not deny the glorious face of Morgan Freeman! You shall meet your end anon!
2 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Vote Placed by thesupporter 2 years ago
thesupporter
JonbonbonTheSwagNinjaTied
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Total points awarded:00 
Reasons for voting decision: What I don't care
Vote Placed by The_Scapegoat_bleats 2 years ago
The_Scapegoat_bleats
JonbonbonTheSwagNinjaTied
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Total points awarded:10 
Reasons for voting decision: Con forfeited the last round. If you start something for fun, you should see it through to the end. Thus, conduct goes to Pro. The rest is silence.