Resolved: Ireland Does not Exist
Ladies and gentlemen, this debate is impossible to accept. You can comment your desire to debate if you want to challenge me truthing all over the place. I'm going to be truthing off the walls and the ceiling. Just know that before you decide to comment.
Keep in mind judges that this is a troll debate. It was brought to my attention in the comments that some people may not understand this is a joke. Please do not judge solely on the actual validity of the arguments but rather on accounts of who made you laugh more or who trolled the other debater better.
1st round is acceptance (try to say some cool battle phrase when accepting).
2nd round is for opening and supporting arguments plus rebuttals on con's side.
3rd round is for rebuttals.
4th round is a sort of rebuttal summary round.
Now challenge me in the comments!
Just as one can never reach the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, my opponent will not be able to reach the state of enlightened consciousness that the gods of evolution have crafted for me.
Irish the best of luck for my opponent.
Thank you for coming to this debate. I'm happy to see you all.
Now, allow me to explain my position.
Ireland started as an Internet joke when the Internet was invented in 1783. People in the UK had come up with this story about a land where all things ended up when you couldn't find them. For example, your writing utensils, your keys, your wedding ring, your wife's wedding ring, an important paper due in two hours, and your bother's dignity. However, almost immediately after the joke began, those darned imperialist Americans came up with an idea.
They could conquer Ireland without doing any work. So they claimed sovereignty over Ireland, but unfortunately they lost it in the war. The original plan was to start a word wide mashed potatoes industry that would claim to be from this mysterious land.
Because the UK acquired it, they sort of just pushed it under the rug, and it became the running joke as the place you'd refer to if you didn't know where something was.
However, this charade could not last for long when Google Earth was created to replace regular Earth. The U.K., the US, and Russia decided to make Ireland look like it existed, so that people would believe in it. The three world powers share the profits to this date.
As to the people who claim to have met someone from Ireland, weren't they constantly drunk on something when you knew them? Ireland is basically just some drunk joke that people like to use to mess around with other people. And if you think you've been to Ireland, it was actually just the northern UK, where they pretend this place called Ireland exists. And everyone has weird accents there too.
Even if the island known as Ireland existed (which I don't) the supposed island is divided into different counties, meaning that no power can claim to be Ireland definitively, which means Ireland doesn't exist.
Thank you for reading.
Looking Into the Existence of Ireland (LIE of Ireland for short)
My first argument in the LIE of Ireland is the numerous amounts of serpents it had:
“No country in Europe is so associated with the Serpent as Ireland, and none has so many myths and legends connected with the same...” 1(Irish Druids and Old Irish Religions, James Bronwick, 1984).
Being so frustrated, he banished all of the snakes from Ireland.
Now that I have proven that St. Patrick banished all of the magical snakes from Ireland, and the proof of that is that magical snakes no longer exist in Ireland, then the only way that is possible is if Ireland really does exist.
My second argument in the LIE of Ireland is the existence of angels:
8 out of 10 people in American believe in angels (3).
Since America is awesome, and this is prima facie true ('MERICA!), we know that whatever they believe in must be true. Even if their beliefs aren't correct, faith blocks out evidence anyway. And since 80 percent of Americans believe in angels, and as we know from Richie Rich's Christmas Wish (4), there is a magical force that collects all of people's wishes and desires and makes them true. Therefore angels exist.
The Irish believed that the fairies were the fallen angels that were cast down from heaven (5).
My third argument in the LIE of Ireland is Colin O' Donoghue (6) A.K.A Hook from Once Upon a Time:
This is a picture of Colin in character as Captain Hook in OUAT:
There is no debate to the sexiness that is Colin O' Donoghue. What is in contention, is where that sexiness comes from.
When looking at the physiology of human organisms, the environment affects the phenotype (7).
Now, when looking at the sexiness that is Colin O' Donoghue, one must realize that no country on this planet could have crafted such a magnificent phenotype as this one. Only such a land as Ireland could have created this beautiful bae.
My opponent tries to use the handsome David Tennant for evil. David Tennant, A.K.A the Tenth Doctor (8), is one of many in a line of regenerations. As my opponent has proven David's existence with the gif, one must acknowledge the evidence of all of his previous generations.
This link (9) provides references for previous incarnations of the doctor having been to Ireland. Since they have been to Ireland, and since we know that they don't drink alcohol, as that would offend the censors, and since we also know that the Doctor is never wrong, Ireland definitely exists.
This effectively negates my opponent's first two arguments, which leaves the last:
That Ireland couldn't exist anyway, as it would be made up of separate counties, and they could not collectively claim ownership of the entire Ireland.
Proudhon was one of the first anarchists, and laid much of the groundwork for anarchist philosophy.
By my opponent denying the principle of land ownership, and the ability to craft an idealistic entity of “government” or “land boundaries” then all of the current state of affairs of the human society is illegitimate.
I don't think that my opponent is willing to maintain this position in order to maintain the resolution. If she is, I ask that she provide further arguments for the anarchist's position, showing that government is inherently corrupt, and that we should live in a world without borders.
I have provided impressive and challenging arguments for my opponent, and I have effectively demolished two of her arguments, while awaiting on her position against my rebuttal of her third. I eagerly await her responses.
Thank you all for reading this round, and good luck to my opponent! Cheers!
Thank you for that response.
Now moving down to some refutations:
1) Ireland and snakes
Just like the snakes, Ireland is also just a myth. My opponent's source is written on the misunderstanding that Ireland actually existed. Allow me to provide some evidence.
This is a statue of St. Patrick being even more fed up with all the snakes.
http://www.crystalinks.com...; width="304" height="635" />
This is Zeus holding a piece of lightning.
As you can see, the statues are made in very similar styles. Zeus is not real, so how can this picture of Irish tradition be real either? It's not. It's just another myth.
To provide further evidence, here's some Egyptian mythology things on a wall:
You guys getting the picture?
s://storiesinsightsandweirdthoughts.files.wordpress.com...; alt="https://storiesinsightsandweirdthoughts.files.wordpress.com...; />
I almost apologize for that.
My opponent's source is outdated. I need something posted within the last week to take it as credible.
I mean, times change quick. Especially among 15 year old girls. It's like one movie comes out, and all of the sudden their ideology changes overnight because some hot guy played a character that agreed with their new ideology.
Not to mention, there is more than one time of fallen angel:
Hell's Angels are everywhere, including in the UK. This is probably where the joke came from. What do you call a bunch of guys who ride around together? Definitely fairies. I suspect that whoever made this joke was killed, and people had to attribute it to Ireland so they wouldnt die as well.
Those Hell's angels really get angry sometimes.
Are we not going to talk about David Tennant?
Ugh, he's so hot. And he's Scottish. And he's way sexier than Collin.
I LITERALLY CANNOT EVEN.
Look at him.
s://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...; alt="" width="309" height="464" />
OKAY I THINK I MADE MY POINT.
Now once you're done staring at the above sexiness, you can start reading my points below.
David Tennant is empirically hotter than Collin O' Donoghue. This can be taken prima facie, no questions asked. It's clear.
David Tennant was definitely born in Scottland, meaning that it is possible for a place to produce such hotness without us having to revert to name dropping mythical lands like Ireland.
1) The Doctor
Now, my opponent attempts to ignore rule number 1 of the Doctor in his last argument.
Now, The Doctor lies to keep his friends safe from truths that he perceives may harm them.
In this case, the Doctor was lying to his friends to make them believe Ireland was a real place. If he didn't do that, then they may have found out that fairies were actually Hell's Angels, and Hell's Angels would've killed them like within a day.
That's why the Doctor had to make them believe they were in Ireland. They were actually on a planet called Iyaland (it's hard to tell with the accent).
Thus my point is still maintained.
2) Drunk people
No argument has been given here now that the above refutation was refuted.
This is sort of an irrelavant point, because I'm speaking to the mythological land of Ireland, which according to the mythology has no single dominating power, but I'll entartain it anyway.
Of course anarchy is a good thing.
First of all: it has inherent checks and balance. Anarchy actually is the balance to immoral systems.
Certain people are inclined to do good things and certain people are inclined to do bad things. This is true in any system, including a system with a government. The only difference is that in an anarchy, everyone is equal instead of certain people being able to command the police over you.
Second of all: poverty doesn't exist in anarchy. Without money, how does poverty exist? It doesn't. Point proven.
Third of all: it leads to further ecological and sustainable lifestyles.
By the process of natural selection, the humans who do not live a sustainable lifestyle will learn or die out.
Because of this, the world will become a healthier place. When you're responsible for everything you own and do, you start to live more responsibly. You don't have a choice. It's either that or you die. Anarchy would be far better than our government.
Fourth of all: It Would Result in the Expiation of Power and Wealth Through an Ethics of Reciprocity
Not really sure what that means, but I just copy and pasted it from here http://themindunleashed.org... which is where I've been getting everything else.
Trust me, it's a benefit though.
Hold on, let me read it. I always hammer other people for just posting a source and not explaining it.
Oh, I think it has to do with the fact that in an anarchist society you still have specialized jobs, and people who need something like a chair will trade food for that chair, so the person who makes the chair can eat. It's something like that. Basically, for people to enjoy a good quality of life, everyone has to share stuff for everyone to survive. Otherwise, natural selection.
Fifth of all: It would bette society's attitude toward each other.
This sort of pulls from the above points. Whene everyone is taking responsibility for their actions and trading fairly in order to get what they need, everyone starts to respect each other a little more. Like you don't just brush off the guy that made your couch, because you and your spouse have been using that couch extensively, and it's a very good part of your life.
So you end up respecting couch guy.
It's a really good idea. Trust me. It's not like The Purge or anything like that. It actually has some intellectual backing to it.
Thank you for reading. I look forward to my opponent's response to my complete smackdown.
Thank you, Pro, for providing your clever rebuttals.
1) Ireland And Snakes
My opponent shows a statue, claims it is mythical, and then argues that similar statues must also be mystical.
However, my opponent has attempted to lead you astray from the truth. Allow me to explain:
We all know that Benjamin Franklin discovered the connection between lightning and electricity:
We also need to realize that not all of the ancient deities were purely mythical entities- a lot of those “gods” were historical men that people added mythological attributes to, something that was common in less intelligent cultures.
Diodorus: “The gods, they say, had been originally mortal men, but gained their immortality on account of wisdom and public benefits to mankind, some of them having also become kings: and some have the same names, when interpreted, with the heavenly deities, while others have received a name of their own, as Helios, and Kronos, and Rhea, and Zeus.” (1)(Eusebius: The preparation of the gospel).
“According to Plato, the earliest Greek Kings whose names were recorded were those of Atlantis.” (2)
Now, what is more likely, that there was an ancient god who was able to control the lightning, or that one of the ancient kings of Atlantis, namely Zeus, discovered the connection between electricity and lightning? This theory actually explains how Atlantis was so technologically advanced. That Atlantis was an advanced society was proved by a 2001 expedition, where researches discovered the lost city of Atlantis (3).
Now, if we recognize that Zeus was actually the Emperor of Atlantis, we realize that other statues that resemble each other are likely to also be real.
Therefore, St. Patrick actually existed.
But if that doesn't prove it, here is a video where St. Patrick explains theology to the Irish, thus proving he really went there: (4).
My opponent uses the fallacy of equivocation. She equates devil's angels with angels. However, I can forgive my opponent, as we live in a culture full of anti-intellectuals and bad theology. Allow me to educate you with proper theology, via the based-on-reality T.V. Series Supernatural (5). As this show is now in its 10th season, it obviously must be spouting out irrefutable doctrinal points, or else the sensitive conservatives would have demolished this heretic blasphemy out of existence.
In the T.V. Series Supernatural, there are both demons and angels. One angel I want to look at in particular is Castiel. The angel Castiel plays a fictional person named Misha Collins in real life.
One important point to look at was the Mishapocalypse (6). Here is an example of how the Mishapocalypse went down:
As you can see, I have Mischapolypsed your argument into refutation.
Ugh. David Tennant. He was so sexy, his hair had its own story arc:
...where was I?
Right. My opponent completely refuted my argument that someone as sexy as David Tennant was crafted from Scottish roots, not needing the influence of the mythical Ireland. I cannot argue with her on this point, we are in agreement.
However, I will re-shape this argument, one that hopefully my opponent will concede to:
The ancient druid religion was very mystical, and not much is known about it (7). However, from what we do know, they did influence that magical Merlin, who helped make Camelot a wonderful kingdom, and also helped King Arthur be the honorable leader his society needed.
Merlin's adventures were luckily chronicled on television (8). Also luckily, the titular character, Colin Morgan, is of Irish origin. Now, he may not be what one may consider sexy, but he is just the most adorable guy any fandom can have:
So I argue this: only someone as adorable as Colin could have come from such a land as Ireland.
Rebutting Rebutted Rebuttals
1 The Doctor Lies
My opponent presents a weak argument, namely, that River Song was telling the truth when she said the Doctor always lies. Clearly, this is simple to refute, as this would mean that every statement the Doctor made is automatically false. It is much more likely that River was lying when making the statement.
Also, this statement was made in reference to the 10th Doctor, while the previous doctors were the ones who visited Ireland.
2 Drunk People
Given that my above argument stands, my earlier argument that the Doctor is prevented from drinking alcohol effectively destroys this argument.
However, if my opponent does refute argument 1, I should provide a stand-alone argument for this subject.
Reality is a crutch for those who can't handle too much alcohol.
Alcohol affects the brain in many different ways, even beyond that which scientists can discover. Drunk people experience reality in a completely unique way: time and space both become distorted.
Now, given so much evidence for a multiverse (9), it is entirely possible that the drunk people may be visiting Ireland in a separate universe altogether.
My opponent argued this is irrelevant, but that is true only if none of my above arguments remain unrefuted. If so, her last attempt effort to win the debate resided on the fact that no power (government) can claim authority (force) over all of the counties (subjective boundaries) of Ireland.
Her issue with anarchy, though, is that she makes a critical error when she says, “Anarchy is actually the balance to immoral systems.”
My opponent is making the baseless assumption that there is actually morality in this world; good and evil. She argues that anarchy would make a balance, but if morality didn't exist, we would not then need a system of the (inherently religious belief of) justice.
Since my opponent is arguing for objective moral values, and since objective moral values can only exist if God exists, then the only way she can make her argument valid is to prove God's existence.
Otherwise, God doesn't exist, so the abstract entity that we call government can take the role of providence, and can call a piece of land whatever it likes, namely, Ireland.
Thank you for this good debate. I look forward to seeing the outcome.
1) Benjamin Franklin and St. Patrick
As for the video (which is the only real supporting evidence for St. Patrick), that could've been filmed by conspiracy theorists anywhere.
I mean, look at this place in Colorado.
It's got hills and rocks and water, just like in the video. This could even be the same hillside.
And as for Zeus being the King of Atlantis, we need to keep in mind my opponent's own evidence. Leanord Nimoy was actually the King of Atlantis. 
Therefore, I disagree with my opponent's conjecture.
Well, my opponent made a funny, but he didn't actaully explain my point. All he did was define the Mishapocalypse.
My point stands.
3) Colin Morgan
I think my opponent just has a thing for people with the name "Colin," which is understandable. It's a pretty sexy name.
"The Druids were priests who carried out religious rituals in Iron Age Britain and France." 
And Colin is definitely from super north Britain. Not Ireland. Just like I displayed earlier in the debate that tours of Ireland are just held in super north Britain.
Plus this source  says that Colin was born in the UK not Ireland.
Oh now how do we do four of these....
Rebutting the rebutted rebutting of rebuttals.
I think that's it.
Aw come on, my opponent is comitting the prila vin crotchy a la carte fallacy. Just because the Doctor lies sometimes doesn't mean he always lies. It just means he does sometimes. Just like I said, he needed to in order to protect his companions from Hell's Angels, which are definitely Angels.
2) Drunk People
This argument stands
I mean, almost anyway.
3) God exists
P1) Only God can grant God-like abilities to people
P2) Morgan Freeman gave Jim Carrey God-like abilities
C) Morgan Freeman is God
I mean, it makes sense. You can't grant abilities beyond your own power.
Kind of like when Bill Cosby voiced Fat Albert. I mean, if Bill Cosby couldn't do the voices, then they wouldn't have had the voices.
This was seen in the documentary Bruce Almighty. 
We know this was true because it was during this time that Jim Carrey played his non-comedic characters, something that only happens by a God-like miracle.
The obvious conclusion is that Morgan Freeman is God as proven by the above proven stuff. So by proving this I prove that God exists because is Morgan Freeman is God then that proves God necessarily exists, because I proved someone is God.
People accuse me of using fluff and filler when I'm tired and don't really have spent all my mental energy watching Doctor Who, but that's definitely not true. Never has been. Especially not to increase my character count to make me look smarter. You know because the really smart people on here usually type a lot in a debate, and it looks really long. Kind of like Poseidon's trident.
Or Neptune's trident.
Or Aquaman's trident.
You know, spaces help too.
Like double spacing.
Someone should add that to the Official Unofficial DDO New User's Guide.
Utilize spaces to make your arguments look longer.
Or double space.
And should you use Sans Serif or Serif?
I don't know.
Anyway thanks for reading, this has been great.
Thank you, Pro, for posting your final arguments and conclusions.
1 Benjamin and St. Patrick
My opponent criticizes the scenery in the video I presented for Ireland. She argues that the video could have been filmed anywhere. However, the video was a cartoon animation. Clearly, animators would have used the real life scenery of Ireland as inspiration, instead of a mythical magical land. Also, cartoons don't have green screens, so its impossible to manipulate the background.
My opponent argued that Zeus was not the king of Atlantis, because Leanord Nimoy was the king of Atlantis. However, both of those statements can be true. In a nation, there is a succession of kings. Zeus could have been the first king, with Leanord being further down the line.
My opponent had argued that the Hell's Angels were the origin for the modern day conception of fairies. I had tried to correct her error with correct theological doctrine, but she simply dismisses that.
I ask the voter, which looks more logically like a fairy:
Motorcycle Vs. Supernatural
3 Colin Morgan
I would like to point out that my opponent seems to have conceded on the adorableness that Colin Morgan possesses, she only argues that he was not born from Ireland, but Super North Britain.
However, Britain is 88,745 square miles big. That's really fat for an island. If it gained any more weight, it would sink, just like Atlantis. So, Ireland cannot be part of Britain; it can't fit any more land.
Therefore, Ireland is a separate entity, and helped craft the adorable Colin Morgan.
Rebutting the rebutterer who rebutted rebuttals in need of rebutting.
Yeah, that's how that's done.
If a lying liar lies while lying on a liar playing a lyre, which liar is playing the lyre?
Lies only bring about confusion. Either the Doctor lies, therefore nothing he says can be understood, or he protects his companions with the truth.
2 Drunk People
My opponent posted a gif of an apparently drunk man.
Now, what makes more sense, that the man was unable to maintain balance because alcohol merely inhibits proper functioning, OR, that being drunk alters your perception of space and time, and so the drunk man traveled into another universe where Ireland does exist, yet that universe had different gravitational forces, thus causing dissonance in the person's body, who was unable to instantaneously adjust to the newfound pressure, which is why he repeatedly kept falling to the ground?
3 God Exists
In order to support her belief, my opponent had to argue that Morgan Freeman exists, thus proving that God exists, thus proving that anarchy is a feasible mechanism for keeping morality in check, thus proving that borders and governments don't exist, thus proving that the entity of “Ireland” is a subjective fiction with no basis in reality.
However, in this interview (http://www.theblaze.com...) Morgan Freeman argues that not only is he God, but we are all God. He means this in the sense that God is fictitious, because we created Him.
So, if God exists, and Morgan Freeman is God, and Morgan Freeman said that God is fictitious, then Morgan Freeman doesn't exist, and therefore neither is God.
But if we are all God, and God is fictitious, then we all cease to exist. Reality is a paradox, and reality is incoherent.
So, basically, my opponent tried to prove that Ireland doesn't exist, and she did so by creating a paradox where nothing exists.
And this is the slippery slope that one leads down to when trying to disprove Ireland- anarchy, moral chaos, and non-existence.
Thank you everyone for reading this debate. Thanks to Pro for a challenging exchange of arguments. But please, don't vote for Pro. Heck, don't even vote for me. Vote for humanity. Choose love.