Resolved: Islam is a very butthurt religion
Debate Rounds (4)
Butthurt is described as 'An inappropriately strong negative emotional response from a perceived personal insult. Characterized by strong feelings of shame. Frequently associated with a cessation of communication and overt hostility towards the "aggressor." '
By saying that Islam is a very butthurt religion, I am by extension saying that worshippers of Islam are a very butthurt people, and I will be arguing in favor of this. Con will argue against.
If any Muslims take offense to this, please do not storm the place I work at and shoot 12 people.
First round acceptance only, 4 rounds, 4000 characters
Please have a good sense of humor and ability to make funny arguments before accepting
Muhammad didn't have relations with a 10 year old because he was butthurt. He did it because he was a pimp.
"Muhammad didn't have relations with a 10 year old because he was butthurt. He did it because he was a pimp."
I have a feeling this is going to end up becoming a contest to see who can offend Muslims the most XD
Evidence for why Islam is a butthurt religion:
1) It is prevalent in very hot countries
Islam is extremely prevalent in nations that are almost notoriously hot all year round...... Algeria, Libya, Egypt, Saudi Arabia...... Literally any country that could be mistaken for a giant litter box for a giant cat to take a giant sh** in is very Islamic....
What does heat have to do with being butthurt?..... Have you ever seen somebody complain about how hot it is outside?..... Its like the thing that people have complained about the longest since the beginning of time itself.
"A few years ago, an extremist in Pakistan fought to have me sentenced to death because Facebook refused to ban content about Mohammed that offended him." - Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of facebook, January 9th, on facebook: https://www.facebook.com...
Waging death threats on someone on facebook over something they posted on facebook is class 4 butthurt, which is almost the worst case of butthurt on a scale of 1-5. If you post something that is offensive to Christians or Dallas Cowboys fans, at the most you get a few swear words, an 'I'll pray for you', or a picture of Jerry Jones wiping his a** with a $100 bill depending on which of those two factions that are being offended. Muslims on the other hand will almost start flying planes into buildings if you piss them off :P
I had a third argument, but I forgot what it was, and im way too lazy to wait until I remember what it was so I'll just hit submit and let con present his arguments for why he can piss off muslims better than-, i mean present arguments for why Muhammad was a pimp.
Muhammad had 11 wives and regularly poked them all in one night. Not only that but he ravaged them with the strength of 30 men! . He was such a womanizer that he convinced a frickin 9 year old to hop on his dick when he was 50 years old. He started HIS OWN RELIGION of womanizing. His religion states that women ought to be slapped, lashed, and ravaged if they uncover their sheets when they aren't told. Women that are raped need at least 4 rapists to admit that they raped her otherwise she's wrong . Muhammad is officially the biggest pimp daddy to ever walk the earth. But wait, there's more.
He says that when you have sex with captives, make sure you don't pull out . This dude has some serious balls for that kind of policy.
According to his religion of swagg, once you die honorably you'll have 72 hot n ready virgins in heaven. Not only this but you'll have an everlasting boner with the power of 300 men to plunge them for all eternity .
So basically this pimp started his own religion over having sex with women and treating them as objects. I can't think of anybody with more swagger than this Muhammad dude.
There's also something about needing to suckle women's titties otherwise they can't get married.
Check out the pimp nation 
(1) 4 out of 5 Middle-Eastern women are sexually abused between the ages of 3 and 6 by family members.
(2) More than half of all Yemeni girls are married before reaching the age of puberty.
(3) With more than 3,900 children within 6 months, Indonesia tops the UN bodies list for child trafficking cases
(4) 2,000 child sex abuse claims in 1 year at Pakistani Islamic schools, but not even 1 successful prosecution
We can all agree that Muhammad and his religion aren't butthurt, they're just all a bunch of swaggy pimps.
"Muhammad had 11 wives and regularly poked them all in one night."
Guys cant even masturbate 3 times without thoroughly exhausting themselves, you mean to tell me that Muhammad managed to have sex with 11 women all in one NIGHT? He had to have gone to sleep around midnight which leaves about 3-4 hours of sex, which if you do the math makes it almost impossible for him to have pulled off what he allegedly pulled off.
Therefore, even if Muhammad was a pimp (which I accept), he is also a liar, and should be stoned for lying.
People who overhype their sexual exploits also tend to have homosexual tendencies, so maybe this guy was gay as hell.
"He was such a womanizer that he convinced a frickin 9 year old to hop on his dick when he was 50 years old"
No one is disputing that the prophet of Islam is a perveted child f*cker, that's simply fact
"According to his religion of swagg, once you die honorably you'll have 72 hot n ready virgins in heaven"
Thats bs on two levels:
1) 'Hot n ready' isnt specified, just that there are 72 of them
2) There might not even be 72 of them.... The average teenage girl in America loses her virginity at around 5 years old (source: science) you seriously mean to tell me that there are 72 of them who somehow held onto theirs until they died? They were probably ugly as hell which is why they didnt get laid, therefore Islam is a religion for ugly unf*ckable women.
"I can't think of anybody with more swagger than this Muhammad dude."
He's clearly a lying nobody who is secretly gay and gets hyped up by his followers, like Jesus, except Muhammad is even more of a rip-off. Nobody who is a child-pedophile can be considered to have 'swag', let alone have more than anybody else..... The giant turd i flushed down the toilet three days ago had more swag than Mohammad, and more integrity too, even though they both likely had the same skin color.
"(1) 4 out of 5 Middle-Eastern women are sexually abused between the ages of 3 and 6 by family members."
Creepy Uncles arent just an American thing....
"(2) More than half of all Yemeni girls are married before reaching the age of puberty."
Theyre just being good followers of Islam by letting themselves be walked on by older perverts similar to their prophet, nothing wrong about that!
"(3) With more than 3,900 children within 6 months, Indonesia tops the UN bodies list for child trafficking cases"
Well if you offer $2 handjobs of course youre going to become a hot commodity.
"(4) 2,000 child sex abuse claims in 1 year at Pakistani Islamic schools, but not even 1 successful prosecution"
Thats why India invaded them 3 times and should have won.
Normal people get butthurt when it's scorching hot outside but followers of Islam usually think the exact opposite of what normal people think. Allah is glorified whenever life sucks. So if life is scorching hot and sucks all the time they're basically excited masochists.
Yeah he was butthurt. No denying that one.
"Therefore, even if Muhammad was a pimp (which I accept), he is also a liar, and should be stoned for lying."
Of course he was lying. Only a narcissistic dirty desert breeder would say that sh*t. Narcissists tend to never get butthurt over anything. He definitely got his butt hurt but only because of his homosexual tendencies.
Well according to the Quran they're supposed to be pretty hot.
"...perpetual virgins will all 'have appetizing vaginas', and that the "penis of the Elected never softens. The erection is eternal".
"This concept is grounded in Qur'anic text which describe a sensual Paradise where believing men are rewarded by being wed to virgins with "full grown", "swelling" or "pears-shaped" breasts."
As for the "ready" part.. Well, has that ever mattered?
In Islam culture, rape, violence, and pedophilia is as swaggy as can be. It's no wonder that Muhammad was the biggest and swaggiest pimpin child molester goat herder of them all. He's the shining star, the gold standard for all of Islam.
In conclusion, Islam isn't butthurt, they enjoy every minute of their suffering.
"Allah is glorified whenever life sucks. So if life is scorching hot and sucks all the time they're basically excited masochists."
Comparing followers of Islam to masochists is very insulting to the high integrity of the average masochist.
"He definitely got his butt hurt but only because of his homosexual tendencies."
Alright, Con concedes that the Islamic prophet Muhammad is gay as f*ck.
"In Islam culture, rape, violence, and pedophilia is as swaggy as can be. "
Its not swaggy, its legal... You dont get swag for doing stuff that is legal, you have to do something that makes you different, which in Islam means you get swag flying planes into towers, or graduating high school, or not being a woman....
IN CONCLUSION: While Islam is indeed a very pedophilia-endorsing, backwards religion for rat-faced towel-jockey's..... It is also a very butthurt religion as well. Thank you for reading.
Well comparing followers of Islam to butthurt people only makes butthurt people more butthurt.
"Con concedes that Muhammad is gay as f*ck"
It isn't a concession, it's common knowledge. His name is literally in the shape of a giant c*ck. How gay is that?
Well if you get swag from doing things that make you different, but flying planes into buildings, graduating elementary school, and getting looked down upon for being a woman are the norms, this wouldn't be swaggy at all.
In conclusion: Islamic people aren't butthurt. Allah is glorified whenever life sucks. They enjoy whatever suffering comes to them.
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by 9spaceking 1 year ago
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Reasons for voting decision: con's arguments made less sense and Imabench made me laugh more. He should have mentioned that so much sex makes the Islam's butts hurt XD!!
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