The Instigator
imabench
Pro (for)
Losing
7 Points
The Contender
YYW
Con (against)
Winning
13 Points

Resolved: Justin Bieber should be deported, have his citizenship revoked, and not be allowed back in

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 4 votes the winner is...
YYW
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 1/28/2014 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 2,629 times Debate No: 44757
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (8)
Votes (4)

 

imabench

Pro

I am arguing that the plague known as Justin Bieber, originally from Canada, should be deported back to Canada, have his US citizenship revoked, and be banned from re-entering the United States ever again.

I am pro this resolution, con is against this resolution.

4 rounds, 3000 characters.

First round acceptance only.
YYW

Con

Hell yes!
Debate Round No. 1
imabench

Pro

Reasons why Justin Bieber should be deported, have his citizenship revoked, yatta yatta yatta

1) Hes Canadian

Since Justin Bieber was actually born and raised in Canada, deporting him is actually a LEGAL option for the US to pursue.



2) Hes Canadian

We can all agree that Canada isnt a 'real' country, and is most likely just 100 people acting like they are a country, similar to how the kid in Home Alone made it look like the house was having a party even though it was just him. The US currently has a policy where it does not allow immigration from countries it does not recognize as legitimate, meaning that its very possible that Justin Bieber is indeed..... AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT, and therefore could and SHOULD be deported



3) Hes a criminal

Foreigners who immigrate to the US and partake in criminal activities often get deported back to their country of origin since they are problem members of society..... And everyone and their mother now knows that Justin Bieber was arrested recently for (allegedly) causing thousands of dollars in damage to a neighboring house, since CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News wouldnt shut the hell up about it.....

The fact is though that Bieber is a criminal, how much of a criminal we still dont know, but a criminal nonetheless. Bieber is also guilty of crimes that technically arent crimes also, such as waging jihad against good music with his crap, massive brain-washing of children similar to what Joseph Kony is doing in Africa, and just being an idiot, which we all agree should be a criminal offense in the US.

Bieber is a criminal, and definitely is a bane to society, therefore there is good reason for why he should be deported back to Canada.



4) Its better than the death penalty

I know that ive been outspoken for my stance that Justin Bieber should be put on a terrorist-kill-list and be blown to smithereens by a military drone strike, but some pansies consider that 'unethical' and 'too hilarious to let happen'..... Now while the argument over whether or not such a punishment is justifiable or even ethical, we can all agree that simply being deported is a much more benign punishment then being blown up into a thousand pieces, or being strapped to a gigantic firework that would explode in midair to take the shape of Kurt Cobain......



5) It will end the ongoing US-Canadian war

When the damn Canadian maple-tree humpers up there sent Justin Bieber into our borders, it was nothing short of an act of war, and ever since the US and Canada has been viciously at war with each other.... Most people deny a war is ongoing because of the damn media blackout on the subject, but trust me, its happening.

Sending Bieber back to Canada will right the wrong they did to us and bring an end to the bloody Canadio-American war, or whatever the hell we'r going to call it.....

I will now allow con to introduce arguments about why Bieber should NOT be castrate- I mean deported.....
YYW

Con

I'll begin by rebutting, and then head butting!

Bench's main arguments are as follows:

1, 2) Biebz is Canadian

Biebz isn't an illegal. Twinkish little bastard has all his paperwork in order, and even though it's money smells like maple syrup, Canada is a real country!

http://abcnews.go.com...

3) He's a criminal

Maybe he is a criminal. Maybe there were drugs in his house. Maybe his last album was just about the most awful thing since Kim Jong Un's birth... but he only threw some eggs... MAYBE! And drag raced... and did a whole bunch of other teenager-type shenanigans that regular US teenage males do all the time. They just don't have Lamborghinis to do it in lol...

4) Deportation is better than the death penalty

Like we'd really execute him for throwing eggs... sheesh! He'd have to be mentally retarded, black and in Texas for that to happen! Well, he might be a bit slow... but he's definitely white and in Florida, where even semi-white looking people can shoot unarmed black teenagers for no reason and call it self defense. Maybe Biebz was just standing his ground with the eggs, though. Maybe his neighbor was being all "ominous." We'll never know.

5) Deporting the Biebz will end an ongoing US-Canadian war...

Everyone knows that Canadians are too polite to go to war. But because they are so polite, they're obviously embarrassed by their wayward son. Clearly, they want him back to teach him how to act like a proper Canadian (and not shout obscenities directed at former US presidents while urinating in a bucket). So, instead of deporting him, we should just hold him for a ransom. And maybe fine Canada too... might help pay down some of the debt. But if we deport him, we loose that glorious opportunity!

So, some of my thoughts:

JB is obviously a troubled kid, but he should be allowed to stay in the US. Why? Because he's a sexy little over-tatooed miscreant? No. Well... maybe. But mainly because we need to use him as leverage. He has to be held in the United States, so that we can blackmail Canada into paying off the US national debt. His price for return? The value of all the maple trees north of Niagara, obviously.
Debate Round No. 2
imabench

Pro

1) He's Canadian

There is no real evidence that Canada is indeed a real country and we all here know it. If Canada was a real country, then how come they didnt play a role in WWII or the NHL?




2) Hes a criminal

"(Bieber) did a whole bunch of other teenager-type shenanigans that regular US teenage males do all the time."

A lot of teenagers ARE criminals though, have you ever even SEEN a high school in Los Angeles?

While other kids have done shenanigans similar to what Bieber has done, not many of those people have a rap sheet as long as Bieber has. Hell just today Bieber turned himself in to police for a charge of assaulting a limo driver, and he also happened to be high on Weed and Xanax
http://www.cnn.com...

Assault, vandalism, drag racing, illegal narcotics, from a foreign country.... Bieber has all the qualities of any villain in a Fast and Furious movie!





3) Deportation > Death Penalty

"Like we'd really execute him for throwing eggs... "

This is FLORIDA we are talking about here, we never know WHAT could happen.



"but he's definitely white and in Florida, where even semi-white looking people can shoot unarmed black teenagers for no reason and call it self defense"

Its also a state that could lock up a woman for 20 years for firing a gun in the air as a warning shot to fend off her abusive husband.
http://www.foxnews.com...

As I said before, its Florida.... We never know what it will do next.




4) Deporting the Biebz will end an ongoing US-Canadian war...

"Clearly, they want him back to teach him how to act like a proper Canadian"

Ok good, so then deport him.




" So, instead of deporting him, we should just hold him for a ransom. "

That wont work! That makes it unnecessarily complicated, and holding people for ransom only works when people really like the person who is being held for ransom, and as of right now Bieber is NOT someone that people sympathize with....

Holding Bieber for ransom would be the equivalent of holding a dead skunk covered with dried semen for ransom, its just worthless.....




" He has to be held in the United States, so that we can blackmail Canada into paying off the US national debt. "

The damn US can even pay off the US national debt, how the hell is CANADA supposed to do any better when they arguably arent even a real country???
YYW

Con

This is going to be short, sweet ant to the point. So, here goes!

1. Canadianness

Of course Canada is a real country. Their mounties might be lawlzy, and their citizens might be weirdly polite... but it's still a country. Maps confirm this. Bam! Done.

2. Criminality

Maybe the Biebz was popping pills and on all kinds of things he shouldn't have been. I'm not saying I agree with it, but that's not enough to justify deporting him -especially when deporting him means that he can't be ransomed to pay off US debt.

3. Death Penalty

US debt > Justin Biber. That option negates the possibility of the US government using him as leverage to extort money from Canada to pay down US national debt. The value of that cash is far greater than any temporal satisfaction that we might get from sending him back.

4. Canadian War

Even if there were a war, which there isn't, the best way to prevent a war is to blackmail Canada, and ransom Biebz in the process. So, I've won this point whether my opponent's premise holds or not.

5. My hellafukinawesome idea to blackmail/extort money from Canada to pay down US debt with by ransom Bieber

Duh! Not a thing said to prove that it couldn't happen, so, beast mode. That's it. Game over. #biebersthetickettogettingoutofdebt #ohcanada #shame #lol

Done.
Debate Round No. 3
imabench

Pro

1) Canadian

"Of course Canada is a real country. Their mounties might be lawlzy, and their citizens might be weirdly polite... but it's still a country"

If Canada is a country then how come nobody knows what the Capital City of it is off the top of their head?

CASE CLOSED




2) Criminality

"especially when deporting him means that he can't be ransomed to pay off US debt."

He ALREADY cant be ransomed to pay off the US debt, Canada isnt a real country and another country would only pay to see Justin Bieber be killed and NOT deported to within their borders.....

Bieber is still a criminal who's presence clearly cannot be tolerated within the United States anymore. For the stability of the US he HAS to be deported.




3) Debt

"That option negates the possibility of the US government using him as leverage to extort money from Canada to pay down US national debt"

So you agree that the US cant use Bieber as leverage to extort money from Canada to pay down the debt. Ok then




4) US-Canadio war

"the best way to prevent a war is to blackmail Canada, and ransom Biebz in the process"

That implies that 1) The war hasnt started, which is a false assumption to make
and 2) That Bieber is actually WORTH SOMETHING TO CANADA. If he was worth anything at all then Canada wouldnt have let him leave, they wouldnt make that same mistake twice after Keanu Reeves snuck out.



The plain truth is that Bieber is a criminal, that Canada's status as a 'real' country is questionable, and that Bieber isnt worth a damn thing to Canada, meaning its stupid to NOT deport him and instead try to extort/blackmail Canada for money.
YYW

Con

1. Canada

My opponent asks why "no one knows" what Canada's capital city is... since he probably thought it was something like Toronto or Montreal, both amazing cities with wonderful gay pride events annually, it's Ottawa... which also has a wonderful annual gay pride event.

2. Criminality

Canada is a real country, with a real capitol, that at least one person -this guy- knows off the top of their head!

Bieber's presence hasn't caused any real disturbance... just some minor petition that the white house has failed to meaningfully respond to. I mean, if Obama can't be bothered to care, it's clearly nbd.

3. Debt

Bench's solution renders impossible my scheme to ransom JB to pay down the US debt. This has so far not been refuted... like, yeah.

4. War with Mounties and Maple Trees?

There is no war. The concept of the "US-canadio" war is a big lie! My opponent needs to get this.

And Canada want's Bieber back, to avoid being embarrassed. We've already established how sickeningly polite Canadians are, and they don't want him to continue to embarrass them in front of the world. Ergo, the US will ransom him to pay down US debt. This simple, yet creative, solution to a series of complex problems remains not refuted.

Oh and there's one more:

5. My hellafukinawesome idea to blackmail/extort money from Canada to pay down US debt with by ransom Bieber

*white girl voice*

Totally not even talked about! Like, omg. w/evs!
Debate Round No. 4
8 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 8 records.
Posted by PatriotPerson 3 years ago
PatriotPerson
Oh Bench, Canada was in WWII...
Posted by 002682 3 years ago
002682
This a loss best characterized by sheer ignorance.
Posted by YYW 3 years ago
YYW
@Bench

I'll wait a while before I post this so that you won't get screwed out of posting a round by that unfortunate thing that happened.
Posted by Aleksandr 3 years ago
Aleksandr
This debate.
Posted by 2-D 3 years ago
2-D
Imho, this is wt* hilarious. Growing up in a country where you have to say what you think you should say instead of what you"re thinking sounds God awful (although I respect and endorse Canadianism in others). Throwing eggs (allegedly) may be perfectly acceptable. For all we know it was the Canadian Halloween.
Posted by YYW 3 years ago
YYW
Fvck whoever down voted this. I hope you are suffering in an ice storm right now!
Posted by Samiam 3 years ago
Samiam
Everyone knows that Bieber was not unleashed as a plague for America...

He is really the incarnation of all of Canada's evil that was never intended to escape their maple-y borders :)
Posted by dtaylor971 3 years ago
dtaylor971
Hah... you took my advice ;)
4 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 4 records.
Vote Placed by bsh1 3 years ago
bsh1
imabenchYYWTied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: THIS. WAS. PERFECTION. Normally, Bench is the funniest guy in the room. Not this time. YYW's jokes about *white girl voice*, Zimmerman, and N. Korea were hilarious. The white girl voice was hands down the best line of the debate. Anyway, U.S. debt > Biebz, so I do vote Con. AWESOME DEBATE!
Vote Placed by Swagmasterpoopoo 3 years ago
Swagmasterpoopoo
imabenchYYWTied
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Total points awarded:25 
Reasons for voting decision: Conduct to con since Pro insulted my country. Arguments to Con since a lot of the points, troll or not troll, didn't make much sense considering the context. Typical American. Thinks theyre so good. well most people in the world think the capitol of the USA is New York City, not Washington DC. js.. S&G to con. Sources to pro since he had better ones.
Vote Placed by donald.keller 3 years ago
donald.keller
imabenchYYWTied
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Total points awarded:24 
Reasons for voting decision: It's hard to judge the arguments of a troll debate. YYW did proved that there wasn't a war with Canada... Which really shocked me... Imabench had better and more relevant sources. Pro had a few bits of bad spelling. Everything else was equal.
Vote Placed by GodChoosesLife 3 years ago
GodChoosesLife
imabenchYYWTied
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Total points awarded:31 
Reasons for voting decision: Okay, this was a hysterical debate. Con gets points for better conduct because he showed more calmness in his responses. While Pro gets points for convincing arguments because his ideas seemed to be more realistic. Both used resources so that remains a tie.