The Instigator
9spaceking
Pro (for)
Winning
15 Points
The Contender
butterflyprincess3
Con (against)
Losing
9 Points

Resolved: Krabby Patties are superior to Purple Penguins

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 6 votes the winner is...
9spaceking
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 7/1/2014 Category: Funny
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 5,599 times Debate No: 58425
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (3)
Votes (6)

 

9spaceking

Pro

The contention: Krabby Patties are superior to Purple Penguins.
BoP is shared. You may begin in round one, but may not post any arguments within the last round to make this fair.
butterflyprincess3

Con

Purple penguins are obviously better than krabby patties for numerous reasons, which I will supply below:

1. Purple penguins make better pets
Purple penguins are very adorable, and I'm sure that anyone would be impressed by your pet purple penguin. Purple penguins are inexpensive and could easily be adopted by some obscure animal agency. Purple penguins only need a cold environment and not anything more, so you could probably stuff them in a refrigerator and get away with it. Not only that, they don't even require any extensive care. In the morning, give them a fish, take them on a walk, and in the afternoon, let them sleep. And the best part is, a purple penguin would be eternally loyal to you and be grateful for your kindness. If you get into trouble and accidentally get eaten by a large praying mantis on the Atlantic Ocean, the purple penguin could karate-chop the praying mantis in half and save you from that terrible fate. A krabby patty, on the other hand, would be a terrible pet, shown in a Spongebob episode (1). Not only would the krabby patty be an ungrateful brat and just sit there enjoying your luxuries given to it, the krabby patty would rot and rot until it has decomposed into the trash can.

below: a disgusting krabby patty (Would you really want this as a PET?! I thought not.)



2. Purple penguins make better secretaries
A purple penguin would be one of the most excellent secretaries you could ever hire. A purple penguin could help you staple papers, answer phone calls, write down notes, and other helpful activites. Once your friends hear that you have hired a purple penguin as a secretary, they will be awed and amazed. The best part is... wait for it... you barely even have to pay your purple penguin secretary! Except occasionally throwing your purple penguin a raw fish, you barely have to do any work. As said from source (2), you can also buy cheap Pacific oysters, which I'm sure is a type of seafood and will be consumed by your secretary gratefully.

below: the only thing you'll ever have to pay your secretary (doesn't seem like a lot, does it? it's actually a very generous amount for a purple penguin.)



3. Purple Penguins are cute (and PURPLE!!!)
This is one of the most important parts of a purple penguin's personality. They are CUTE. Purple penguins have big, cute eyes, and a small beak, and can often be accesorized. A purple penguin could easily win a beauty contest with other pets. Below are various pictures of adorable purple penguins, in case I haven't convinced you yet. Purple is a majestic, royal, beautiful color as shown in source (3). Purple represents sensitivity, love, understanding, peace, tranquility, imaginative, generous.
















Sources
(1) http://spongebob.wikia.com...
(2) http://willapa-oysters.com...
(3) http://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com...
Debate Round No. 1
9spaceking

Pro

My opponent has great arguments, but they fall short.
1. Better pets?
My opponent's point falls against her. "you could probably stuff them in a refrigerator and get away with it. " she says. This means that theifs could easily steal your purple penguin. On the other hand only one guy wants to steal the krabby patty.

"GIMME THE KRABBY PATTY!!"
But again, this guy is so small you could easily smush him to death in one stomp.
As for extensive care, while the purple penguins require some, the krabby patty would require NONE. In addition, the krabby patty does not easily rot. My opponent's source number one says "Six hours later, the patty has spoiled." This means that the krabby patty is good for six hours...and keep in mind it wasn't even in the refrigerator! If Spongebob had kept it in the refrigerator, it would have been prolonged much further and been able to be useful.
Speaking of usefulness, we go onto my rebuttal of my opponent's 2cd point...
2. Better Secretaries?
Now, you may have think I completely ignored the fact that my opponent claims that purple penguins can karate chop monsters in half. That's actually nothing.

See? As far as we're concerned, Squidward only ate four patties, since he was holding six patties and then he was holding only two patties....the rest is math. As we cn see, there were tons and tons of patties availible, so the sacrifice of merely 4 patties is nothing in comparison.
And as for pay, the krabby patty doesn't even need fish meat. On the other hand, my opponent is incorrect about how much pay is needed. Penguins need...90 fish per day. (1) That's a lot! And considering that on average, per kilogram fish costs about $7.00 (2)...well, good luck paying the money!
My opponent also hints that purple penguins can do much more than krabby patties. Again, she is wrong. While she states "A purple penguin could help you staple papers, answer phone calls, write down notes, and other helpful activites." A krabby patty can do all of the above, and blow up people....and you can sleep in a krabby patty
s://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com...; alt="" width="322" height="393" />
Krabby Patty used as a stapler


Patrick recieving a boring phone call


The infamous Krabby Patty notepad


Oh yes, and Plankton even once used it as a backpack!


3. Purple penguins being cute and purple
This point is stupid. Krabby patty are not only purple, they are all the colors within the spectrum.

Therefore your point is nulled and krabby patties represent not only "sensitivity, love, understanding, peace, tranquility, imaginative, generous", but all the other kinds of personality as well, since all the colors are covered. (3)

In addition, krabby patties are very cute. Spongebob even fell in love with one of them at a time!


(1) http://wiki.answers.com...
(2) http://www.indexmundi.com...
(3) http://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com...
butterflyprincess3

Con

Thank you for your interesting arguments. I will start with my rebuttals to your rebuttals.

1. Better Pets

"This means that theifs could easily steal your purple penguin."
FALSE!!! Purple penguins could defend themselves against the thieves very easily. They could bite, kick, and scratch them and ward them off with their cute penguin senses. Krabby patties, although not requiring much care, are not the least bit loyal. They will cheat on you with other owners and be horribly unfair to you. In fact, not many people would even think about stealing your loyal penguin.

"GIMME THE KRABBY PATTY!!"
"But again, this guy is so small you could easily smush him to death in one stomp."
That's not Plankton. That's not Plankton at all, and you are the wrongest wronged wrong and very mistaken, my young man. Plankton doesn't want to steal the krabby patty, he wants to steal the krabby patty formula. Shown in a number of episodes, Plankton doesn't actually care very much about the krabby patty itself, he just wants to get rid of it to increase his store business. Shown in Source (1), he will do ANYTHING to steal the krabby patty. And he is very clever, so just smushing him will not do any harm.

2. Better Secretaries

"Now, you may have think I completely ignored the fact that my opponent claims that purple penguins can karate chop monsters in half. That's actually nothing."
Squidward, an innocent bystander, was KILLED by these patties. Spongebob didn't intentionally try to kill him, he actually tried to help. This shows that a number of horrible and innocent victims could die by this mass murdering serial killer krabby patty. Purple penguins, on the other hand, are perfectly harmless unless treated cruelly or shown harm. Purple penguins only respond with their natural instinct and don't murder random people for no reason. (1) There are many global catastrophic risks... but the krabby patty is so, so dangerous, that they don't even bother to put it in the wikipedia, since so many people already know about it that it would be pointless to try.

below: huge explosion caused by the eating of a krabby patty. See how much damage this krabby patty has done?! LOOK! Blood everywhere, and a bloody umbrella and a bloody shirt. Obviously caused by the krabby patty.











"And as for pay, the krabby patty doesn't even need fish meat. On the other hand, my opponent is incorrect about how much pay is needed. Penguins need...90 fish per day. (1) That's a lot! And considering that on average, per kilogram fish costs about $7.00 (2)...well, good luck paying the money!"
Not only is that ridiculous, it makes absolutely NO sense. Krabby patties wouldn't do any work as a secretary... they do NOTHING. I am serious. What you are showing is a silly reDONKulous image that would never happen in real life. Plus, I probably would receive huge amounts of money just by having a purple penguin secretary. In FACT, my employees and others would pay to see, visit, talk to, or even pet my purple penguin. I would earn huge amounts of money that way.

Rebuttals to your Strange Krabby Patty Uses
1. It doesn't seem like a very good stapler. Purple penguins, on the other hand, can staple anything. See? Isn't this a much better, cooler, prettier, nice and more usable stapler than the krabby patty?

2. The krabby patty isn't being used as a phone. He's just holding it.
3. Penguin notepads are sooooooo much better.










4. Penguin backpacks














I WOULD POST MORE BACKPACKS, BUT I'M AFRAID I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVINENCE.

3. Cuteness
In that Spongebob episode, the colorfulness had very harmful effects (3). And you saw how well that "love" turned out. A rotten, broken relationship.
Sources
Debate Round No. 2
9spaceking

Pro

Before I rebut my opponent's arguments, I would like to make another interesting point.
1. Purple Penguins are lonely
Krabby Patties are uber-popular. In fact, it's so darn popular it's crowded at most times.



In contrast, purple penguins are quite unpopular. Nobody likes them.

"HELLO? ANYONE THERE? ANYONE?"

And that concludes my new point.

REBUTTALS
1. Better Pets
Oh yeah, right, as if penguins know karate. They are quite easily beaten down.


Notice how the other two penguins are doing absolutely nothing.

In fact, even trained penguins can be extremely lazy.

These high-inteligence penguins aren't doing anything.

Krabby patties will cheat on you? Nothing suggests so.

As for stealing the krabby formula, well, if he gets a krabby patty he'll definitely figure out the formula. As for cleverness, that's out of the question. Plankton's been smushed like a gazillion times.


In fact, tons of examples can be found on http://spongebob.wikia.com.... Just read the list! It's so doggone long, Plankton can't possibly be smart, since he had so many near-death experiences.

2. Better Secretaries
Purple penguins actually are known to randomly murder people for no reason.



As seen from the above examples, penguins are very dangerous. And keep in mind krabby patties are only harmful if you eat them without knowing their explosive characteristics.
Damage caused by krabby patty: Uh...dude. That was a watermelon thrown from a very very tall floor.


The "reDONKulous image": puh-leaze. Who could possibly be more trustworthy than the chef himself and the cashier??

The uses for Penguins
Oh, so now you decide to provide proof. Are you trolling or just hoping that voters don't minus conduct because you made it up in a later round? Because either way it doesn't work, since I provided proof first, therefore I get priority. As for Patrick "just holding the krabby patty", you are wrong and cannot prove otherwise.

Cuteness
Those customers only hate these patties because they're racist. If everyone was considered equal, then everything was fine. As for the love, well, Spongebob is dumb (no offense). He could have kept the patty in a portable freezer to keep it from rotting.

Note to opponent and voters: this round is going to be your final round for arguments, so post carefully and post all that you need to. Remember, you just have to post "Thank you for the debate" within the very last round, so that we get equal number of rounds.
butterflyprincess3

Con

Interesting point... I'm not sure that it's reasonable to make a point in Round 3, but I suppose I can make an exception.

1. Purple Penguins... lonely? Haha, good one. I almost fell for it...
Purple penguins have plenty of friends. They go to parties and have fun every single day.

below: a famous place where penguins often meet up, waddle around, and meet new friends



penguins having fun dancing around, playing different instruments, and listening to disco-dancing music



penguins gathering together at the pet shop, stage, and pizza restaurant



penguins driving a boat



penguins chatting noisily while showing off their golden puffles (a type of penguin pet)



penguins having a birthday party



more penguins getting together



Enough said. Don't these penguins look like they're having a whole lot of fun?

"In fact, it's so darn popular it's crowded at most times."
That's because they're eating them. I don't think a purple penguin would like being eaten, so your argument is invalid.

Rebuttals to your Rebuttals

1. Better Pets
Those are green penguins, not purple penguins, so your argument is invalid. And the penguin Batman was punching was a black and white penguin, not a purple penguin. In fact, none of your pictures show PURPLE penguins.

"As for stealing the krabby formula, well, if he gets a krabby patty he'll definitely figure out the formula. As for cleverness, that's out of the question. Plankton's been smushed like a gazillion times."
Which means he's VERY determined. He's willing to do anything to get a krabby patty. Therefore, you will have plenty of trouble warding him off. It'll be nearly impossible.

2. Better Secretaries
Those are black and blue penguins, not purple penguins.

3. Watermelon damage
OH NO!!!!! Not only have all those poor people suffered from the wrath of the krabby patty, so has this unfortunate watermelon. I feel sorry for that watermelon. Soon it will have to file a lawsuit against the evil and murderous krabby patty.

4. Usages
Very funny, but my huge amount of pictures will overwhelm your whole "proofy proof proof thingy".

5. ADORABLENESS
That's because krabby patties are making them racist.

Good debate. Vote con.


Sources
(1) www.clubpenguin.com

Debate Round No. 3
9spaceking

Pro

Reminder: opponent must post just "Thank you for the debate" in the final round to make this fair. You can also forfeit the last round, if you wish to.
FINAL REBUTTALS
1. Doubt in the longely purple penguins?
In that picture I see a lonely purple penguin chef cooking a pizza with one blue penguin looking disappointed at him. Yep, definitely forever alone.
The disco dance--very lonely. Does five other penguins even count?
The restaurant--everyone is minding their own business, as far as I'm concerned.
the boat--no purple penguin
the chat--too messy, can't see anything
the party--nobody's there, very lonely more penguins getting together--purple penguins not there
1. Better pets
"In fact, none of your pictures show PURPLE penguins. "
None of your pics show purple penguins as well...LOL
Very determined plankton--yeah right, he's tiny and has been stopped a gazillion times and nearly died as my source within the previous round says.

2. Better secretaries
A very very dark purple penguin can be "black".
DARK PURPLE

LIGHT BLACK:


WATERMELON: dude thats not a patty...I already showed its the damage of the watermelon

4. Usages
Huge amount of pictures mean nothing. They might as well commit the texas sharpshooter fallacy.


5. Uhhhh....no. They were racist in the first place.

In conclusion I have rebutted all my opponent's arguments and strengthened my own.
Vote me.
butterflyprincess3

Con

Thanks for the debate
Debate Round No. 4
3 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Posted by birdlandmemories 3 years ago
birdlandmemories
Loveshismom votebombs again.
Posted by subjectname 3 years ago
subjectname
This one is hands down for me...ever since becoming a fan of Spongebob, I've always imagined what a Krabby Patty might taste like. I ate a 1/3rd lb burger at Joes Crab Shack which I believe might approximate a cheap immitation of a Krabby Patty. In my imagination, it's the most delicious thing you could eat, lobster probably being in 2nd place.

Some quotes:

(customers) "The only people who don't like a Krabby Patty have never tasted one!"

(Spongebob) "The Krabby Patty is an absolute good. Nobody is immune to its tasty charm."

The Krabby Patty has seemingly magical powers. Squidward converted and then ate so many that his thighs exploded. Then there was that uptight old hag that took one bite, and it changed her into dancing fun-loving lady.
Posted by butterflyprincess3 3 years ago
butterflyprincess3
It appears that my brother's debate skills are superior to mine.
6 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 6 records.
Vote Placed by birdlandmemories 3 years ago
birdlandmemories
9spacekingbutterflyprincess3Tied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: Good debate. I saw no spelling or grammar mistakes, sources were a complete draw, and conduct was about even. Now, on to arguments, I found pro's arguments a bit funnier, but he was also able to counter all con's arguments, even the cuteness and purple argument, which I thought would be pretty tough.
Vote Placed by VISUALMoney6 3 years ago
VISUALMoney6
9spacekingbutterflyprincess3Tied
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Total points awarded:34 
Reasons for voting decision: well both side gave very reliable arguments
Vote Placed by Kc1999 3 years ago
Kc1999
9spacekingbutterflyprincess3Tied
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Total points awarded:50 
Reasons for voting decision: Firstly, the terms weren't defined at all. Leaves both sides on the edge; without terms defined, ma gonna give the convincing arguments to the Krabby Paddy dude because, you know, GIFs and use of RELEVANT images. Sources to Pro because con used CLUB PENGUIN. In your next debate, you might as well use the Onion. Conduct was tied. S and G was tied.
Vote Placed by lannan13 3 years ago
lannan13
9spacekingbutterflyprincess3Tied
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Total points awarded:32 
Reasons for voting decision: Pro won, because half of the Penguins that con posted about were not purple, but just regular penguins. Pro showed that Krabby Patties were better then the purple penguins. Con gets sources since she cited her sources.
Vote Placed by mishapqueen 3 years ago
mishapqueen
9spacekingbutterflyprincess3Tied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: Nothing can possibly be as cute as a penguin. I thought Con was more persuasive.
Vote Placed by GOP 3 years ago
GOP
9spacekingbutterflyprincess3Tied
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Total points awarded:10 
Reasons for voting decision: Lol, conduct to con since he used a GIF image. That was quite creative.