The Instigator
Pro (for)
16 Points
The Contender
Con (against)
0 Points

Resolved: My Jokes are funnier than my opponent's

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 3 votes the winner is...
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 10/16/2011 Category: Entertainment
Updated: 5 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,228 times Debate No: 18815
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (8)
Votes (3)




Welcome, for this quickie and useless 'debate', each debater must post (per round):

- 2 ‘Yo Mama’ jokes

- 1 very short joke

- 1 hilarious pic (screenshot of something, demotivational posters, etc.)

- 2 other random jokes

(NOTE: For those who don’t know, you can copy an image off the internet and paste it in your post.)

R1 is for CON to accept, jokes will be posted at the beginning of R2 onward, and R5 is the last round to post jokes.

You can post your own jokes or find some online.

Obviously, for the voting period, voters should vote who made the funniest jokes.

Time limit is 24 hours, with the use of only 6000 characters and the RFD voting will last for 2 weeks.

Good luck to whomever my opponent will be. May the best joker win.



I accept!
Debate Round No. 1


Thank you, fergie1, for accepting! =)

Sorry for the delay, I experienced some glitches with the character limit, and with the pictures, I couldn't do a copy/paste post due to an error, so I will just post a link instead.

(NOTE: My jokes might be filthy, so please don’t get offended, read at your own risk).


Yo mama’s so hairy that she has afros on her nipples.

Yo mama’s so ugly that when she joined an ugly contest, the host said, "Sorry, No Professionals."


What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek?

-If we stick together, we can stop this s**t!



34th Birthday

There was a man who had his 34th birthday last week. His wife and kids didn’t greet him, his parents even forgot his birthday. No one, not even his best friends sent a text message or email greeting him, which made him sad.

So he went to work that day. His co-workers didn’t even greet him or say the usual ‘good mornings’.

So he entered in his office, and his secretary jumped and said "Happy Birthday, sir!" He started to feel good and thanked his secretary, she asked him for dinner after work as a treat.

After work, no one even bothered to greet him or say goodbye, which made him feel bad again, but proceeded to dinner with his secretary anyway.

After dinner, the secretary invited him to her flat. They had a great time talking for a few minutes then the secretary said, "You mind if I go to the bedroom for a minute?" The man agreed and said okay in a flirtatious demeanour.

After a few minutes, she came out, and...

His wife,

his parents,

his kids,

his friends and colleagues came out and screamed, "SURPRISE!"

The man was sitting in the sofa, his mouth wide open...


Husband Store

A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the mall to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads: “Floor 1 - These men have jobs.”

The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads: “Floor 2 – “These men have jobs and love kids.”

The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes further upstairs.

The third floor sign reads: “Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.”

"Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

The fourth floor sign reads: “Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.”

"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "Very tempting, but, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another floor.

The fifth floor sign reads: “Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.”

"Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads: “Floor 6 - You are visitor 7,924,324,961 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.”

---Done for now, good luck! XD



fergie1 forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 2


My opponent must've been rather busy or forgot the 24-hour-time limit.

I'll give him a chance and wait for his next post so we can proceed further.


Yo mama's so fat that she needs cheat codes for Wii Fit

Yo mama's so stupid that when she walked into a Wall Greens, she said "THESE WALLS AINT GREEN!"

On learning that her son sneaked into a striptease-show, a mother became very angry..

"Son, did you see anything in there that you weren't supposed to see?"

"Yes, I saw dad!"

A few days before Christmas, a man enters a pet store looking for a unique
gift for his wife. The store manager tells him he has just what he's
looking for! A beautiful parrot named Chet that sings Christmas carols.

He brings the husband over to a colorful but quiet bird. The man agrees
that Chet certainly is pretty, but he doesn't seem to be much for singing.
The manager tells him to watch as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out
a lighter.

The manager then clicks the lighter and holds it under Chet's left foot.
Immediately Chet starts singing; "Silent Night, Holy Night." The husband
is very impressed with Chet's singing abilities and watches as the manager
moves the lighter underneath Chet's right foot. Chet now starts to sing
"Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way." The husband says Chet is perfect and
that he'll take him.

The husband rushes home to his wife and insists upon giving her this
wonderful gift immediately. He presents Chet and starts to explain the
parrot's special talent. Demonstrating, he holds a lighter under Chet's
left foot and the bird sings "Silent Night." He then moves the lighter
under the right foot and Chet lets loose a round of "Jingle Bells." The
wife is absolutely impressed, and with a mischievous grin asks her husband
what happens if he holds the lighter between Chet's legs instead.

Curious the husband moves the lighter between the bird's legs, and the
bird begins to sing - - "Chet's Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire!"

A blonde enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."
The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink curtains.
He shows her several patterns, but the blonde seems to have a hard time choosing.
Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print. The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs.
The blonde promptly replies, "Fifteen inches."
"Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small - what room are they for?"
The blonde tells him that they aren't for a room, but they are for
her computer monitor.
The surprised salesman replies, "But miss, computers do not need curtains!"
The blond says, "Hellllooooooooo! I've got Windoooooows!"
Debate Round No. 3


Thank you for the response :)


Yo mama’s so fat that I tried to swerve around her and I ran out of gas.

Yo mama's like cheap liquor, she tastes like crap.


Sue: Bill, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your tea.

Bill: Sue, if you were my wife, I'd drink it.



Susie’s Questions

One day, lil’ Susie asked her mother, “Mommy, where did we come from and how?”

The mother answered, “Well, dear, the Lord made Adam & Eve and they had children, so that's how all people were made.”

A few days later the girl asked her father the same question.

The father answered, “Millions of years ago, there were monkeys, from which the human race evolved.”

Susie was confused and then returned to her mother and said, “Mommy, how is it possible that you told me that we were created by God, and Dad said we came from monkeys?'

The mother answered, “Well, hun, it is very simple, I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.”

The horny guy, the nun and the bus driver

One day, there was this guy who is in need of sex, so he went around town and asked around, but failed after a few attempts, so he decided to go home and went on a bus, where he sat down next to a young nun.

The guy then said, “Hey, miss?” The nun looked back, but didn’t say anything, but the guy continued, “Hey, I’m horny, wanna have sex?”

The nun was shocked and got off the bus quickly.

The bus driver heard the conversation and grinned to himself, then he said to the guy, “Hey, wanna see that nun again?”


“Well, go to the St. Peter’s Church downtown tonight, that’s where she and the other nuns will have a prayer, dress up like Jesus and they’ll do anything you wish for,” said the bus driver.

“Sweet, thanks man.”

Later that night...

The nuns were having a prayer meeting as the bus driver said, then after a moment, the horny guy went to the crowd and announced that he was Jesus, the crowd couldn’t believe it.

The young nun came forward and exclaimed, “Oh Jesus, forgive those who’ve sinned against us!”

The horny guy, dressed as Jesus with a fake beard then said, “I will only forgive you under one condition that we have sex tonight, if we do, I will forgive everyone!”

The nun didn’t hesitate and agreed, as they went to a motel room, the horny guy quickly got himself undressed, then the nun gave him a fellatio, after the man was satisfied, he took off his beard, and exclaimed, “Surprise! I’m the horny guy from the bus! Hahaha!”

The nun then took off her habit and exclaimed, “Surprise! I’m the bus driver from the bus! Hahaha!”



fergie1 forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 4



Yo mama’s teeth so yellow, when God said, "Let there be light,” he told her to smile.

Yo mama’s so dark that she could show up naked to a funeral.


What did the elephant say to the naked man?
-How do you breathe through that thing?



1st Grade Math

It was Math class, and the teacher did a pop quiz and asked some Q&A, she started, “Four cats are lying down on an old man’s front porch, then the man threw a rock to one cat and the cat ran away, how many cats are left?” Mark raises his hand and said, “Zero.” The teacher looked at Mark and said, “Sorry, but that’s false. Wanna try again?” Mark thought a bit longer and said, “Zero.”
“No, sorry, it’s still false, Wanna tell me how you came up with that?”
“Well, if the old man threw a stone to one cat and the cat ran away, the other three cats would also run away.”
“That’s not the correct one, but I like the way you think.”
“OK, but answer my question, three women in a restaurant are sitting on the same table, they are eating ice cream. One is licking, one is sucking and one is biting. so, which one is married?”
The teacher turns read and looks at Mark and guessed, “I guess it’s the one who’s sucking?”
“No, that’s not correct, it would be the one with the wedding ring, but, I like the way you think.

Making Cakes

There was a little girl and her mother walking by the park one day and they saw two teenagers having intercourse on a bench.

The little girl says, "Mommy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Umm, they are making cakes."

The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having intercourse. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes."

The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mommy, I saw you and Daddy were making cakes in the living room last night!"

Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?"

She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."


Good luck on your last round.

VOTERS, VOTE PRO! Because seriously, my jokes are helluva funnier than my opponent’s



fergie1 forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 5
8 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 8 records.
Posted by jm_notguilty 5 years ago
No, back to the original, sorry, there was a site glitch... T_T (overreacted, my apologies)
Posted by fergie1 5 years ago
Yes. So now it is two yo mamas, one short, one pic, and one long joke?
Posted by jm_notguilty 5 years ago
Sorry, nvm was a another glitch T_T
Posted by jm_notguilty 5 years ago
Sent you a friend request and PM, you okay with the suggestion of limiting the 2 jokes to 1?
Posted by fergie1 5 years ago
No problem. Take ya time
Posted by jm_notguilty 5 years ago
Meh, service error whenever I review with a pic... T_T
Posted by jm_notguilty 5 years ago
I thought about that, with the original one, but I realized how I sucked at it... T_T
Posted by BlackVoid 5 years ago
I've been thinking of starting one of these, except the jokes have to be original and made by yourself. But I look forward to reading this one.
3 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Vote Placed by F-16_Fighting_Falcon 5 years ago
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Total points awarded:50 
Reasons for voting decision: Pro's jokes are helluva funnier than his opponent’s, not to mention the forfeit of two rounds by Con.
Vote Placed by Maikuru 5 years ago
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Total points awarded:70 
Reasons for voting decision: Multiple forfeits demand a full Pro ballot. Coincidentally, I only laughed at Pro's Round 5 picture.
Vote Placed by BlackVoid 5 years ago
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Total points awarded:40 
Reasons for voting decision: Fo'fit