The Instigator
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The Contender
Con (against)
7 Points

Resolved: Putting chewing gum underneath a table ought to be viewed as morally good behavior.

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Voting Style: Open Point System: Select Winner
Started: 4/13/2017 Category: Funny
Updated: 8 months ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 756 times Debate No: 101857
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (14)
Votes (1)




Ladies and Gentlemen,
Emilrose is my challenger. I look forward to a fun battle to the death with her.
REMINDER: This is a troll debate. Pictures, gifs, and humorous videos may be used as evidence. The only thing I don't allow is kritiks. It sucks the fun out of the troll debate to challenge something like "yeah, well, nothing is good to begin with, so it can't be duh." Just follow the assumptions. That's more for the voters so they're not like "wut this is dumb dislike unfollow."
And comic sans is a valid font style for troll debates as well.
And since I'm the one throwing the status quo over a balcony, I should probably write my constructive first. So for the first round, my opponent will write the two words "I accept," and I'll kick it off in round two. Are we in agreement?
We'd better be.
Anything else?

Let it begin.


I accept.
Debate Round No. 1


Welcome to this analysis. Now, my side may seem disgusting at first, but if you really just think about how many animals die from the pollution from landfills, you start to agree with me.

Wait, sorry, that wasn't clear.

Let me start here: did you know that 100,000 tons of chewing gum is chewed each year?

That's a lot of tons. Tons of tons in fact. And do you know where most of that goes? Landfills. Because we throw it away. Honestly, people, are we blind?

Think of the poor polar bears.

But I have a plan: stick your chewing gum under your desk, under the rails on the street, and under everything but you're Mom's wig. Actually, no that last place works too.

Of course, not everyone will, but there's just so much more desk than there is landfill. I just feel like we could really save the polar bears if we started this. So I've proven the benefits. Now onto why we should consider it morally good, but honestly, it's pretty easy to see.


It just makes sense. I'll put it in a syllogism:

P1: There is too much gum going into landfills.

P2: We have desk space to accomodate the gum

P3: duh

So we increase our society's utility by doing the thing that increases a polar bears utils (util is a fun word that basically means happy points). And if we can do that, that's really all that matters right.

Don't throw your gum away. Throwing gum away is the new disgusting. Putting it under your desk is the new norm. Gitoberitimout.






I will assume that the 2nd round is for the opening argument only, and that the rebuttals, and closing arguments will respectively after the opening arguments, rebuttals, and closing arguments. OKAY?

Opening Argument:

Firstly, it needs to be made clear that gum is chewed within a mouth, in most cases. According to this link, it is defined as 'a sweet that you keep in your mouth and chew to gets its flavour, but do not swallow' 1.]

Why it is Not Morally Good Behaviour to Put Chewing Gum Under a Table

My primary concern naturally lies with the table--it is simply not fair on the table to have sticky, chewed, saliva covered gum to be stuck under it for a prolonged or indefinite period of time. Tables have feelings to, but are unable to give consent to such things. Without the official and explicit consent of the table, this should not be allowed. Or even remotely considered as morally acceptable behaviour; essentially, it is a form of table abuse.

It should also come as no surprise to people that tables cost money, even in the event of making your own table, you would still need to collect wood and spend some money on building the table. Why would you then want to desecrate your newly bought or newly built table by sticking chewed gum under it? Even if the table is from a cheap store, it should still be worth something; it should still get respect. Additionally, it is almost as bad to desecrate the table of another person as it is their property. Take a school or university table for example, that table is not yours to disrespect.

To finalise my argument, I would like to point that gum is actually seen as a societal taboo in some countries, including Singapore and Dubai:


Debate Round No. 2


Oh please, my table loves it. If tables didn't love it, don't you think they'd say something about it? I know I get pretty fiesty when I get some unwanted physical contact. But if it's wanted, then I do as the tables do and just let it happen.

And then my opponent starts bringing up stuff about the value of table and how putting chewing gum on it is a bad thing for whatever reason. How does putting chewing gum on a table derease its value? It should see a sharp increase in value due to how many people love it. In fact, only $7 per month for a subscription! [1]. Oh sorry. That was the wrong part of the evidence. It was this part here: 75% of Americans chew gum. Out of 300 million people, that means that more than 1 person and less than 300 milin just one large country.

Anyway, here's the other math. If 75% of America values chewing gum as something good, then adding chewing gum to a $15 table raises its value by 75% or as we in the math world call it: definitely more than $15.

And as for these countries:

1. China bans multiple babies, which doesn't overall create a balanced population. So their government is probably stupid.
2. Singapore is a single city in Singapore [2], and as we can learn from Touscon, some cities are just really stupid. At least use a country or something m8.
3. Dubai banned PDA. That's not a joke. Don't get caught making googly eyes with your sweet love in Dubai or you'll end up in jail [3].

Do I even need to say anythng else? I doubt it. Basically destroyed the whole negative case there.






Now onto some of Pros own arguments, in round one she advises people to 'stick (their) chewing gum under their desk, under the rails on the street, and under everything but their place works too'. Which is extremely detrimental advice given that it would inevitably spread germs, as the second article confirms, gum HAS bacteria on it. Given that gum has been found to remove bacteria from people's mouths [2.], it is obviously going to be covered in it. Therefore, I argue that the best place to remove gum upon chewing it is the garbage can, or bin. This would limit the possibility in offending people, and would most certainly decrease the chance of spreading germs.

Pro additionally claims that there is too much gum in landfills, but thus far this claim is pretty unsupported. She goes onto to say that putting gum under the table would save the landfills and fill up space, but again, I have basically shown that the CONS very much outweigh the PROS. The Cons being 1. Abusing the table, 2. Devaluing the table, and 3. Germ spreading, which is arguably the most important point. The assertion that 'throwing gum away is disgusting' is completely unfounded, on the contrary: putting it under the table is disgusting.

Moreover, Pro has stated that on the basis that a lot of people chew gum, this somehow is a valid reason to put it under tables, which it is simply not.

In the same sense that it is not morally good behaviour to put used condoms under the sofa cushions, right?

Actually, this article highlights the damning effects that chewing gum actually has, so much so that Sean's Spicer's life could actually be in danger, given that he chews a lot of gum. He and other big gum chewers are at increased risk of cancer, diabetes, and bowel problems. [3.]

This may or may not be Sean Spicer:

And there is actually evidence to suggest that gum chewing has decreased rather than increased in the past few years [4.]

As for China and Dubai, the political circumstances of these countries is a non-issue. The point is that they are two official countries, that have recognised that gum should not be exposed to the public too much, so instead of infringing people's rights, they are protecting their public safety.

Defending Some of My Points

Pro here claims that her 'table loves it', which, is pure speculation. In fact I'm pretty sure her tables hates it and feels violated in having gum just stuck onto it. Unfortunately however, the table is unable to 'say something about it' due to the fact it cannot speak.

Concerning the value issue, Pro undermines the importance of this. Say for example that you wanted to sell your table, a buyer come over, but discovered that some of the printing and varnish had been removed. Obviously, this would decrease its value...and people might not be too pleased at the thought of chewing gum actually being there in the first place, especially if they are extra-cautious about germs. And, chewed gum most definitely has germs: [5.]

Here are some pictures of tables that should definitely not have gum under them:

Debate Round No. 3


Listen everyone, my opponent brings forward... like... some evidence. But keep in mind the words said by a wise old man who now runs my country: ITS ALL FAKE NEWS.

I have proof too. Well sort of.

First of all, my opponent sites daily mail. As we know, mail is not always news. Sometimes it's unwanted advertisements or a letter from your aunt. These often have untrue things in them like "the best deal in town!" or "I love you." So how can we trust this other thing she was talking about? I submit that we cannot.

Second of all, this whole bacteria in the mouth is a good thing. Did you know that plaque is a defense against germs? Most of the bacteria in your mouth is out to kill that bad bacteria [1]. Someone else would love to have more of your good bacteria. That's one reason why French kissing is also not gross but actually quite good.

Third point, wether or not chewing is decreasing, it's still true more people chew gum than 0. My opponent never addressed the whole math thing, so onto even more math, since there cannot be a negative amount of living people in this world, chewing gum's quality will always be rated more than 0.

Also money is not table. And that gold table would be worth so much you have no idea omigod.



Closing Arguments:

Little evidence? I don't think so; I have provided sources, a picture of a Sean Spicer?, and pictures of tables! All of this obviously classifies as evidence.

Pro points out 'the math thing', but in showing that less people are chewing gum, I have showed that its popularity is not all she claimed it to be. And if putting gum under tables was so great, more people would be buying the gum to do it!

I'd like to say that the last picture I provided...actually is a table, and that gold table is available at most stores for like 10 American dollars: it's actually made in China.

The last link given by Pro still doesn't show how putting chewing gum under tables is morally good behaviour, thus not affirming the resolution; and this 'holistic dentist' is just basically saying that the mouth has bacteria...which is what I was arguing anyway. My point is that why force tables to live with even more of it? They already go through enough...especially ones that live with children.
Debate Round No. 4
14 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by Jonbonbon 8 months ago
A true troll vote for a troll debate.
Posted by SolonKR 8 months ago
I based my vote entirely on what allowed me to make more puns :3
Posted by Jonbonbon 8 months ago
Lol @Solon's vote. I can't even be mad about that.
Posted by Jonbonbon 9 months ago
Cool, just making sure you were aware. I'd hate to see you forfeit :P
Posted by Emilrose 9 months ago
I know) I'm doing it now.
Posted by Jonbonbon 9 months ago
Only 5 hours to write an argument
Posted by The-Voice-of-Truth 9 months ago
I chuckled at "P3: duh"
Posted by Emilrose 9 months ago
I think I would quite like this...
Posted by Jonbonbon 9 months ago
Lol wut?
Posted by Perussi 9 months ago
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by SolonKR 8 months ago
Who won the debate:-Vote Checkmark
Reasons for voting decision: Both sides talked until their gums were sore, but they took it in Stride. Now it's time to decide whose arguments were Extra. Pro is clearly table-ist, and bit off more than she could chew. Con totally Eclipsed her opponent and skewered her with the Trident of knowledge. It's time to table this debate.