The Instigator
Oldfrith
Pro (for)
Losing
6 Points
The Contender
imabench
Con (against)
Winning
10 Points

Resolved: that we should kill all the whales

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 5 votes the winner is...
imabench
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 4/18/2012 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 5 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 2,433 times Debate No: 22965
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (8)
Votes (5)

 

Oldfrith

Pro

Fun debate. no rules here, just adhere to that

whales are: noun (plural or whales)
a very large marine mammal with a streamlined hairless body, a horizontal tail fin, and a blowhole on top of the head for breathing.
And kill means exterminate. Basically dead (bench, you know what I'm saying here)

Adhere to those, and the rest is up to you

Round 1=acceptance.
imabench

Con

I accept this debate challenge and will argue that all whales shouldnt be killed
since they are the last living descendants of Jesus Christ!!!!


Debate Round No. 1
Oldfrith

Pro


Ladies and Gentlemen, I come here before you to address a topic that has been neglected in todays society. Now, the issue that I come here today about is on Whale extermination. Frankly, we need to kill them, for one main reason:



IT'S US OR THEM



Let me use a little background here. See, around 10,000 years ago, whales landed on earth. Yes, they are aliens. So are cats, but that's another debate. Now, 10,000 years ago, whales landed on earth. They were very happy, swimming around in our oceons, eating krill, and other stuff, until the humans gained supremacy over the earth. So the whales concoted a plan. A brilliant plan, even. They decided: To kill the humans. At all costs. However, they lacked the necessary technology. So, a few whales made the important sacrifice and bred with rhinos, and gave birth to what are now known as narwhals. They used their large horns to stab humans. These narwhals began to attempt killing norse vikings, but completely failed, due to the vikings BO scaring even the bravest narwhal off. But, with the advent of hygiene, the narwhals began to get ambitious, and would have cleared us all off if not for one thing: Penguins.



As evidence, I have this picture of a whale that has commandeered a ship:

http://www.debate.org...

See, penguins are aliens too. They came to earth when their civilization saw the destruction of the humans coming, and they were forced to save us. So, they came to earth, and were doing pretty well to defending us, until the whales rebred and created a new breed:



The killer whale. These whales will mercilessly kill all the penguins that they can find, making the penguins jobs extremely hard! We must fight for the penguins! we must fight for ourselves!


http://www.debate.org...


Now, to address a few key points:



1. How to kill the whales.


http://www.debate.org..., as portrayed by Stephan Pastis, Whales will beach themselves for Caramel Macchiato. So, the plan is simple. 1. Make a giant vat of Caramel Macchiato. 2. Divide it, and put it into key locations around the earth. 3. When the whales come, kill them. If there are any whales that are the proverbial “black sheep” of the family, we simply send out giant ships to kill those. Its simple!



Rebuttal to environmentalist groups:



Senators, get caller ID. Ignore all calls from PETA.

imabench

Con

"So, a few whales made the important sacrifice and bred with rhinos, and gave birth to what are now known as narwhals."

Completely wrong, they mated with UNICORNS to make Narwhals, but then all the unicorns died when Candy Mountain was blown up by the Germans in WWI, I dont have to elaborate we all know the story.

"These narwhals began to attempt killing norse vikings, but completely failed, due to the vikings BO scaring even the bravest narwhal off"

THEY DIED FOR YOUR FREEDOM, RESPECT THEIR BODY ODER

"See, penguins are aliens too. They came to earth when their civilization saw the destruction of the humans coming, and they were forced to save us. So, they came to earth, and were doing pretty well to defending us, until the whales rebred and created a new breed: The killer whale. These whales will mercilessly kill all the penguins that they can find, making the penguins jobs extremely hard! We must fight for the penguins! we must fight for ourselves!"

Killer Whales did not spawn as a new breed to kill Penguins. The Penguin Prince and the Whale princess tried to mate in marriage to bring peace to the world, but the Whale Princess was a complete whore and the Penguin Prince killed her in a bloody rage, THATS what ignited the war between Penguins and Whales.

We must not Kill all the whales because Whales are the last living descendants of Jesus Christ, BECAUSE JESUS WAS A WHALE!!!!! (evidence below)










Still dont believe me? Well then why does the Jesus Fish LOOK LIKE A WHALE!??!?!?!?!





Whales are not here to kill ALL humans, just the non-believers. If we want to make peace with the whales we must convert all people to Christianity and accept the whales as the living descendants of Jesus.

After that we should then focus on exterminating all the cats. They arent aliens, they are the descendants of Hitler....











Debate Round No. 2
Oldfrith

Pro


"Completely wrong, they mated with UNICORNS to make Narwhals, but then all the unicorns died when Candy Mountain was blown up by the Germans in WWI, I dont have to elaborate we all know the story. "

Some of them did. But unicorns were a very emerging race, so they didn't have much population to breed with.

Killer Whales did not spawn as a new breed to kill Penguins. The Penguin Prince and the Whale princess tried to mate in marriage to bring peace to the world, but the Whale Princess was a complete whore and the Penguin Prince killed her in a bloody rage, THATS what ignited the war between Penguins and Whales.

I see your college english class is doing Romeo and Juliet...


We must not Kill all the whales because Whales are the last living descendants of Jesus Christ, BECAUSE JESUS WAS A WHALE!!!!! (evidence below)

I DECLARE FAULTY EVIDENCE!!! That is obviously the whale king you described above.

Still dont believe me? Well then why does the Jesus Fish LOOK LIKE A WHALE!??!?!?!?!

Jesus fish was Created by the Romans, who were not the best zoologists...


Whales are not here to kill ALL humans, just the non-believers. If we want to make peace with the whales we must convert all people to Christianity and accept the whales as the living descendants of Jesus.

But then the whales would get bored and start eating everyone....



And on the cat contention...

Hitler was an alien 0_o
imabench

Con

(Why cant I see my pics?)

"Some of them did. But unicorns were a very emerging race, so they didn't have much population to breed with. "

Yes, sadly the unicorns were comparable to another species on Earth who are known by most people as DNA, or Demonized Nambian Antelopes..... Whose history you can read all about in this debate http://www.debate.org...

"The Penguin Prince and the Whale princess tried to mate in marriage to bring peace to the world, but the Whale Princess was a complete whore and the Penguin Prince killed her in a bloody rage, THATS what ignited the war between Penguins and Whales."

Pro's response: "I see your college english class is doing Romeo and Juliet..."

Yes and it ended the same way, a 3 day period that killed 6 people and bored countless others to death reading about it

"I DECLARE FAULTY EVIDENCE!!! That is obviously the whale king you described above. "

The Whale King is our Savior Jesus Christ. He is one in the same, all whales descended from him.

"Jesus fish was Created by the Romans, who were not the best zoologists..."

Jesus Fish was created by the Romans but the sticker on the back said it was made In China, your argument is invalid.

"But then the whales would get bored and start eating everyone...."

Which is how the Apocalypse will be brought about as told in the Bible in Chapter Whales, versus 9 to 36

Yes Hitler was a cat, and cats are aliens, therefore Hitler is an Alien....

We must not kill the whales, they are the last living descendants of Jesus Christ, they only kill non believers, and if they do kill us all it is merely the onset of the apocalypse as told in the Bible, meaning that we should just accept it and let the whales rightfully kill us all. All believers will be brought to the great Kingdom underwater, all the non believers will go to a cruel world far away from the seas up in the sky. All that will happen was pre determined, therefore we must not kill all the whales.

Thanks for reading :D
Debate Round No. 3
8 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 8 records.
Posted by imabench 5 years ago
imabench
why does everyone love cats and why is calling Hitler an alien space cat so controversial?
Posted by imabench 5 years ago
imabench
oh wow how did i miss that, Ok just clarifying :)
Posted by Travniki 5 years ago
Travniki
No, I said pro did better
Posted by imabench 5 years ago
imabench
travniki you said i did better on the whole whales are jesus thing argument but you gave arguments to oldfrith
Posted by charleslb 5 years ago
charleslb
Exterminate all the whales, you say? Didn't you ever seen Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home?! Guess not.
Posted by SarcasticIndeed 5 years ago
SarcasticIndeed
Pretty good arguments from both. Gave me a good laugh, too.
Posted by Oldfrith 5 years ago
Oldfrith
Ok. This will be fun.
Posted by imabench 5 years ago
imabench
Game on
5 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 5 records.
Vote Placed by PeacefulChaos 5 years ago
PeacefulChaos
OldfrithimabenchTied
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Total points awarded:07 
Reasons for voting decision: Cats have no relevancy in this debate, and as such should not be a factor in voting. Pro said himself "that's another debate." Thus, I am countering the conduct votes. Con made superior arguments, showing how turning against the whales would be highly detrimental to the humans as a whole. He also provided shockingly strong evidence that Jesus Christ was the whale king, leading me to believe that Con had the better arguments. Good job to both sides, though.
Vote Placed by 16kadams 5 years ago
16kadams
OldfrithimabenchTied
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Reasons for voting decision: Insulting cats
Vote Placed by Travniki 5 years ago
Travniki
OldfrithimabenchTied
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Total points awarded:40 
Reasons for voting decision: Kittens were insulted-conduct I almost gave arguments to Imabench, the way I usually judge these humouros debates is see the one argument that survives the entire debate, pro did better on the whole all-whales-are-jesus-thing
Vote Placed by 1dustpelt 5 years ago
1dustpelt
OldfrithimabenchTied
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Reasons for voting decision: You insult my kitties! >:-O
Vote Placed by SarcasticIndeed 5 years ago
SarcasticIndeed
OldfrithimabenchTied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: Pro started out good, but his argument in the 3rd round was very bad. Imabench stayed good throughout the debate, tho. He gets the arguments.