The Instigator
CaptainCrustacean
Pro (for)
Winning
5 Points
The Contender
frankfurter50
Con (against)
Losing
0 Points

Sentient Fruit Fighting

Do you like this debate?NoYes+0
Add this debate to Google Add this debate to Delicious Add this debate to FaceBook Add this debate to Digg  
Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 1 vote the winner is...
CaptainCrustacean
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 5/15/2017 Category: Funny
Updated: 1 year ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,526 times Debate No: 102613
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (29)
Votes (1)

 

CaptainCrustacean

Pro

So. If you are a normal person, you probably have asked yourself the question "If fruit were sentient, and able to fight, which fruit would win in a fight?". This is a good question, that we shall settle in this debate.

Rules:
- Pick any fruit on earth. Must be a real fruit. You cannot pick the fruit I pick.
- We will compare the fruits in many different aspects and determine which would win in a fight if they were sentient.
- We are not considering the coconut as a fruit in this debate. (It's a Nut!)
- First round is only for acceptance and telling me what fruit you chose.

I choose the Durian as my fruit.
Picture: https://media.mnn.com...
frankfurter50

Con

Finally, a debate about something other than politics.

I choose a 2624.6 pound pumpkin, which will roll over your durian with happiness.
Debate Round No. 1
CaptainCrustacean

Pro

Very Well, I thank my opponent for accepting this debate.

1. Pumpkin Size
My opponent chooses his pumpkin to be 2624.6 pounds. This is obviously a extremely large pumpkin. To large to move in-fact. This pumpkin could in no way, shape or form move without any assistance without internally collapsing. My durian would roll over your pumpkin over and over piercing it to death.
Even if your pumpkin could somehow move, my durian would be multiple times quicker, due to size and weight, easily rolling around your pumpkin, striking it blow after blow, until your pumpkin was no more.

2. The Durian's Secret Attack.
The Durian emits a putrid smell, so bad people compare it to the likes of raw sewage.
"The smell evokes reactions from deep appreciation to intense disgust, and has been described variously as rotten onions, turpentine, and raw sewage." [1]
This putrid smell, would lower the pumpkin's morale, disgusting it. Since your pumpkin can't move it would sit there, being struck and struck, smelling the worse smell of it's life. Your pumpkin may even give up on life, and commit suicide.

3. The Pumpkin's Downfall
Let's say that somehow your pumpkin is able to move, despite it's weight, and crushes my durian. My durian wouldn't be hurt, it would break through the shell of your pumpkin, due to the weight of the pumpkin falling upon it. This would leave my durain in the innards of your pumpkin, allowing it to roll around without having to defend itself. It would quickly obliterate your pumpkin.

4. Cultural Differences
The Durian originates in Southeast Asia. This gives it a huge advantage. My Durian now knows martial arts due to years of observation.
"Southeast Asia generally encompasses Cambodia, Laos, Burma, Thailand, Vietnam, Malaysia, Brunei, Indonesia and the Philippines. Important martial arts that take their histories from the region are pentjak silat, arnis/escrima, kali, muay boran, krabi krabong, muay Thai and vovinam" [2]
So my fruit knows 7 martial arts.
The pumpkin which (surprisingly) originated from Mexico would only know 1 martial art.
"Yaomachtia is supposedly a Mexican martial art used by the Mexican military in ancient times. Yaomachtia translates into " warrior teachings" [3]
So, my fruit knows more martial arts then yours, making it much more battle-trained then yours.

5. Video Evidence of the Durian's Power!
Watch this video (only takes 6 minutes): https://www.youtube.com...
So in the video, it takes them minutes to open up a durian using a sword. A sword. A pumpkin would be easily chopped up. This shows the strength of the durian's shell. It is also noted many times on how smelly and pointy the fruit is, even prompting the grandfather to go berserk on it. This truly shows the strength of the durian.

Thank you all for reading. I'm done for now, and wish my opponent luck.
Vote Pro, would you kindly?

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org...
[2] http://www.blackbeltmag.com...\
[3] http://www.martialplanet.com...
[4] https://www.youtube.com...
frankfurter50

Con

the smell of the durian does not affect my pumpkin at all, because pumpkins cannot smell. being smelly does not win a victory in this case.

The pumpkin does not need to chop the durian up, instead, it sits on it, waiting patiently until the durian has rotted to death. Pumpkins can have a very prolonged life. my pumpkin always lasts for about a week after halloween. and yes, the weight of that pumpkin is real. it is the current world record for the weight of a pumpkin, so yes, they CAN grow that big. The thicker the shell of a pumpkin, the longer it will last.

if the durian somehow manages to get out from under the pumpkin, the pumpkin can chase it around for a little while until it's tired out and gives up.

I hope you can conquer that. The voters will probably vote for my pumpkin. after all, he's much more charismatic because he doesn't stink.
Debate Round No. 2
CaptainCrustacean

Pro

Rebuttals
1. Assuming your pumpkin is sentient, it would have to smell. A sentient being, feels and perceives thing.
" A sentient being is one who perceives and responds to sensations of whatever kind - sight, hearing, touch, taste, or smell." [1]
Your pumpkin has to smell if sentient therefore it would smell my durian.

2. Your Pumpkin cannot move due to it's enormous weight, therefore it cannot chase around my durian.

3. So you claim your pumpkin would last a week after Halloween, so let's say your pumpkin lasts a week after the start of the battle. My durian which has a harder protective shell, would rot slower, allowing it to win just by waiting a week.

4. Who said the shell would be thicker on that pumpkin then normally?
Here is the world record pumpkin: https://img.washingtonpost.com...
It is clearly obvious that the innards are weighing down the shell. If something tryed to pick it up, the innards would break out of the shell, effectively killing the pumpkin.

-

New Arguments:
1. Dangerous Fruit
If you ever visited Southeast Asia and went to a bus stop, this is a normal sign that you would see:
https://www.themindfulword.org...
Yes, the durian is banned in certain places, even in it's home countries. This fruit apartheid has done two things for the durian:
- It has shown that the durian is so dangerous. Why else would they ban it? They are afraid that if a sentient durian got to do regular activites with people it would snap and kill everybody, so they ban it from public places.
- This fruit apartheid has both physically and mentally hardened the Durian. Everybody hates him, and he is not afraid to dispatch those people without mercy
So in conclusion, My durian who be much more hardened, physically and mentally then a pumpkin. This gives it a advantage in a fight.

2. Durians are Ruthless Murderers
Following up on the previous argument, durians have killed people, without mercy. Just look at this quote for proof.
" a 1-month-old baby named Mohd Yusuf was killed when a durian fell on him while his mother was carrying him through the yard. She had stepped out of the house to collect the laundry at around 3 p.m. when the 2 kg (4lb) durian struck the baby on the head." [2]
As sad as this is, this just proves they are ruthless killers. This durian killed a infant, what fruit would do that? Defiantly not a pumpkin. Here is another time a durian fatally killed.
"Lam Fook Chee, age 68, lost his balance while transporting a large basket of durian on his motorcycle near Raub. The durians fell on his head, killing him on the spot." [2]
Yes. These durians are ruthless. mercilessly dispatching human after human.
This shows my durian is not only trained for battle, but is trained to kill mercilessly. Your pumpkin wouldn't stand a chance.

Also, I think voters would probably vote for my durian, as it seems more charismatic then a morbidity obese pumpkin. It also has a cool shell, increasing it's charisma.
Anyways, we have seen that durians dispatch people mercilessly, and are trained to kill, giving it a massive advantage over your untrained pumpkin.
Vote Con!

[1] https://www.merriam-webster.com...
[2] http://www.yearofthedurian.com...
frankfurter50

Con

look, you say that "sentient" things can smell, well, yeah, maybe that's true. but why can't big ones move then? If it's sentient, and has senses, it should be able to move. besides, smell does not injure something, only annoy.

Let's say the durian does outlast my big old pumpkin. even if it does, it will still be trapped by my pumpkin's rotting glop, so it will have to stay in there until it rots too. since the pumpkin started it all, even though he dies, he does technically win the fight.

you say that being morbidly obese isn't charismatic, but being a killer isn't exactly charismatic either, and while your durian is banned in some places, my pumpkin can roll any place he wants to, because, you know, he's the world record pumpkin, and he's a big celebrity. Maybe he could roll into a restaurant, and ask the cook to put him in the fridge so he stays nice and fresh, while your durian isn't let in by the bouncer, and has to sit out there until he rots.

Your durian has the flaw of impatience. my pumpkin has the attribute of patience. my pumpkin is stronger, and much larger.

in the pumpkin world, obesity is actually considered a good thing, because, you know, people like bigger pumpkins better than little ones. Fruits go by completely different rules than we do. weight is actually considered attractive with pumpkins.
Debate Round No. 3
29 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by frankfurter50 8 months ago
frankfurter50
The whole thing is weird and there are tons of loopholes.
Posted by Masterful 8 months ago
Masterful
I would have argued that sentience doesn't give your fruit legs. Therefore it would be a battle of attrition. Quality concept though.
Posted by frankfurter50 1 year ago
frankfurter50
ok, shore. whatnot.
Posted by PowerPikachu21 1 year ago
PowerPikachu21
Well, I reported the vote. whiteflame is the moderator who decides whether or not it's sufficient.
Posted by frankfurter50 1 year ago
frankfurter50
i dunno. the pumpking is sort of a badass. i mean, yu gi oh and ninja fruits are sort of the same thing.
Posted by CaptainCrustacean 1 year ago
CaptainCrustacean
Yes, he took it off because it was completely irrelevant to the debate.
Posted by frankfurter50 1 year ago
frankfurter50
no, no. I meant, white flame took off the vote, didn't he?
Posted by frankfurter50 1 year ago
frankfurter50
no, no. I meant, white flame took off the vote, didn't he?
Posted by frankfurter50 1 year ago
frankfurter50
no, no. I meant, white flame took off the vote, didn't he?
Posted by frankfurter50 1 year ago
frankfurter50
no, no. I meant, white flame took off the vote, didn't he?
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by PowerPikachu21 1 year ago
PowerPikachu21
CaptainCrustaceanfrankfurter50Tied
Agreed with before the debate:--Vote Checkmark0 points
Agreed with after the debate:--Vote Checkmark0 points
Who had better conduct:--Vote Checkmark1 point
Had better spelling and grammar:--Vote Checkmark1 point
Made more convincing arguments:Vote Checkmark--3 points
Used the most reliable sources:Vote Checkmark--2 points
Total points awarded:50 
Reasons for voting decision: See comments for analysis of the arguments. In short, only the durian had any redeeming qualities for a battle, and the pumpkin might not be able to move, if not slow movement. Only Pro used sources, so Source points to him by default.