The Instigator
BellumQuodPacis
Pro (for)
Winning
18 Points
The Contender
twsurber
Con (against)
Losing
1 Points

Short Story Challenge

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 6 votes the winner is...
BellumQuodPacis
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 8/31/2010 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 7 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 2,287 times Debate No: 12872
Debate Rounds (2)
Comments (22)
Votes (6)

 

BellumQuodPacis

Pro

Greetings. This is the first actual short story/essay debateni have ever done and hope this catches on. In this challenge, pro will throw out a few writing areas and topics for each one. (3 to be exact) Con will then choose a topic.
The simple way to vote is:
Spelling and grammarv is literal.
Conduct is the relevance to the topic.
Best arguments will be to the better story in the opinion of the reader.
Sources shall be graded on the amount of rhetoric used by the author (I.e. Tricolon, anaphora, anecdotal synapses, etc.)
Round 1 is the presentation of topics and round 2 is the posting of the story. Dialogue is allowed.

As pro, i offer the following topics to choose from:
-Science Fiction
-Memoir
-Fantasy

I look forward to a connosieur of rhetoric and writing, like myself, to accepting the challenge and showing what they got! Good luck and buena suerte!
twsurber

Con

Thank you and all the best to my opponent.

My opponent's choices are:

1) Biography

2) Romance

3) Horror
Debate Round No. 1
BellumQuodPacis

Pro

Thank you for my opponent's timely response and topics. I choose Romance. Good luck!
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It was a dark and dusty night in Kuwait City, Kuwait. The 151st US Army regiment wasjust sitting down around a pile of old dry tinder set aflame in the desert sands. This was Lieutenant James Holmes first tour here since the bombings. Everyone back home couldn't handle what had happened after so many fatalities. Some say that Kuwait is only one of the minor warzones the US is involved in in this World War 3. Remembering that fateful day, which set Holmes path in stone, he trembles in fear just thinking of it, let alone dreaming of it. It was April 20, 2013. A beautiful day in South Beach, Florida...
"Daddy!......Daddy!!!....."
James looked around and could not find his son anywhere.
"Behind you daddy!"
James turned around and saw his young son, Henry, running toward him with arms spread wide open. He embraced his father with a large hug and stepped back before running off into the cool, clear water. But what really caught the attention of James' eye, was the woman standing behind his son. Beautiful blonde hair, majestic dark blue eyes, a seemingly perfect look that any woman would envy in one sight. Her name was Rebecca.
"Hello James." said Rebecca.
"Rebecca." James said courteously.
A recent divorce has set the two apart, the only reason being James recent enlistment into the military. It is obvious however that their love for each other is very strong. In the past few weeks at this point, civil unrest is breaking apart countries in Europe and many threats coming to the states are considered very severe.
"Have you heard the recent news from Europe?" Rebecca asked.
"No I haven't, why what is happening?"
"French and Spanish revolutionaries threw a coup and took over the governments of each country. James, I'm worried."
"Don't be. As long as we stay neutral, we'll be fine."
Just then, a nearby softball field's siren triggered. On a normal occasion, the siren sounds when lightning is near or sever weather will deter a game. But, it was clear and blue today...what could possibly be doing this? Another ear deafening sound came screaming around the corner. A mass of police squad cars came screeching around the corner and a large fuss over their bullhorns. A motorcycle officer came zooming across the sandy beach screaming, "Get down!" Past this point, James would like to forget. But dreaming about it every night, prevents him from ever forgetting.

The Platoon Commander walked past James and slapped the back of his head as he walked by.
"WAKE UP SON!"
"Sorry, sir."
"Whats on your mind boy?"
"Just thinking about her sir, my family. How could it all just go away so quickly..."
"Your mind isn't there anymore. It's here, fighting for 500 Million back home."
"Yes, sir."

He allowed his mind to drift off once that brief conversation had ended. They still don't know if she is alive or not. She went missing after what happened. His love for her was so very strong, all he wanted was her back at any cost. Of course, a father will always miss and love his son, but Rebecca, she was special. There some things in life that are perfect. Their relationship, he considered, was one of those things. After that day, he never saw her again, and whenever he reaches into his top left ammunition pocket when defending his country, he pulls out a photo, of when his life was complete. He'll never know if he sees her ever again, or if she's even alive for that matter. But all he knows is that he loved his child, he loved his ex-wife, and he may never see them again.
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This is not the best story I've ever written. Trust me haha. He just had to give me the three genres I dislike most. Thanks twsurber. Haha.

Anyways, I will vote for the story which I think is better. I look forward to tw's work! =D
twsurber

Con

The Game
Noah Branham sat with his parents in the stands on a warm evening watching his older brother Jeff. Jeff's team, the Mustangs, trailed the visiting Knights 4-3 in the bottom of the 6th..
In the top of the seventh, the final inning, Jeff caught a popup. The next batter drew a walk. The third hitter sent a sharp grounder between 1st and 2nd. Jeff scooped up the ball and side-armed it to the shortstop covering 2nd. Jeff quickly sprinted back to the bag, and caught a perfectly delivered laser while stepping on the bag for the double play.
With 2 out in the bottom of the 7th Jeff stepped to the plate. Pitcher Donny Lawson worked the count full. The catcher, Raul Hernandez, looked up at the umpire, "Time blue." Raul trotted out to the mound to plan the next pitch. Hernandez squatted behind the plate and seemed to be arrogantly smiling at Jeff. "You're gonna choke hero." Jeff glared back with a face of stone, "Bring it." The umpire pointed at the pitcher, "Play!"
As pitcher Donny Lawson reared back, Jeff saw it, the way he was holding the ball, even if but for an instant he saw it! In 0.3 seconds it would be here! The wind-up, the release, the trigger, the swing…CRACK! "It's a long fly to right center field! It's back, way back, it's deep, it's.GONE! Home run! Jeff Branham delivers on 3-2 fastball, and the Mustangs have won the game!"
As Jeff trotted around the bases, Noah felt a sense of happiness, and a sense of jealousness. Noah was proud of his brother, and happy for him, yet wishing that some day he too would get the chance to be the hero. As July turned into August, Noah was even further disappointed that he was cut from the soccer team after try-outs. He could kick well, but he just wasn't fast enough.
Opportunity knocked! Panther's kicker, Lyle Sparks rolled his four wheeler. It was a clean break, but a break nonetheless. The doctor said he would be in a cast for up to 7 weeks, and would need time to rehab after that. Soccer coach Dom Ruteglia recommended Noah to the football special teams coach for a look.
After some nervous jitters were worked out, Noah became the starting kicker. When offered number 7, his brother's baseball number, he declined. "I want something different." A search through the remaining unassigned numbers paired Noah up with number 18. He loved it! Noah finally had something to call his own.
Fast forward to the last game of the season. Though not perfect, Noah had enjoyed lots of success, and had earned the respect and confidence of his team-mates. In one game Noah connected on a 49 yard field goal. This game coming up against Wheeler was huge. If the Panthers won, they were in the playoffs, if they lost, their season was over.
The situation was playing out almost exactly as Noah hoped. The Panthers were trailing 16-14 with just over 5 minutes to play. After an outstanding defensive effort, the Wheeler Wildcats were forced to punt.
Panther wide receiver Ren Jones took the punt at the Panther's 11 and headed upfield. He was brought down near the right hash at the 28. The Panthers took over 1st & 10 with 4:56 to play. Tailback Mike Brown took the ball off tackle for 12 yards and a first down to the 40. On the next play, quarterback Spencer Landis hit tight end Cody Rutland over the middle for another gain of 8 yards.
Tailback Mike Brown took the ball up the gut over mid-field for a gain of 4 and another first down. The clock stopped momentarily as the chains were reset. A quick whistle and the clock began to tick, 3:18 and counting. Quarterback Spencer Landis connected with receiver Wes Cheek over the middle for a gain of 9. The ball was spotted at the Wildcat 40 yard line with 2:55 to play. Noah, began to get excited! He slowly walked toward the kicking net to warm up.
On the next play, tailback Mike Brown burst up thru the middle for a 12 yard gain. The ball was spotted at the Wildcat 28. Next play, fullback Todd Ham carried the ball straight ahead to the 24 bringing up a 2 down and 6. With 2:38 to play, center Moose Prater accidentally stepped on Spencer Landis' foot. The play was meant to be a pitch out to the right. Landis stumbled, but still tried to make the pitch to Mike Brown. The ball tumbled behind Brown and bounced awkwardly. A blitzing Wildcat player saw the mishap and pounced on the ball.
An excited and electrified stadium was suddenly hushed. The only sounds, beyond sad exhales, was the now excited Wildcat players jumping and whooping. The Wildcat offense took the field with 2:21 to play. There was too much time to take a knee, but one first down and it was all over.
The first play was a hand-off up the middle for no gain. The Panthers quickly burnt their second timeout. 1:59 to play. On 2nd & ten, Wildcat tailback Tyree Washington broke for a 12 yard run, but was shoved out of bounds by Red Vinson at the Wildcat 42.
"1:28 to play, hand off goes to Washington, he finds a hole, he's across mid-field, and crushed by Red Vinson! The ball is loose! The ball is loose! It's scooped up by Neilson who is heading the other way! He's brought down by a host of Wildcat players."
"The Panthers will take possession with 39 seconds to play at the Wildcat 47." "Landis, from the shot gun, sets, looks, fires to the tight end Rutland and out of bounds at the Wildcat 38, first down."
"Landis, back in the shot gun, looks, no one is open, he's hit in the back field and dropped for a loss." "Panthers use their final timeout with 12 seconds to play. The ball is spotted at the Wildcat 46." "The Panther's are gonna have time for 1, maybe 2 more plays."
"Landis sets ‘em down, moves back into the shotgun. Clean snap, looks, Wes Cheek has a step on his man down the right side!" "Landis lets it fly." "It's CAUGHT, it is caught! Hauled in by Wes Cheek at the 12 yard line! Hold on, there's a flag, there's a flag on the play, there's some pushing and shoving going on down there, and here come more flags."
"Oh boy let's hope this one doesn't come back. There is no time on the game clock, let's see how this sorts out. (LONG PAUSE) "We have 3 infractions on the play. Late hit out of bounds, number 23 on the defense, unsportsmanlike conduct, number 88 on the offense, penalties offset. We have unsportsmanlike conduct on number 84 of the offense, 15 yards from the spot of the foul. Spot the ball at the 26 yard line. Reset the game clock to 2.6 seconds, first down!"
Excitement filled the air, Noah was finally going to get the opportunity to do what he had always wanted to do. Noah paced off his steps, turned and waited. "Okay, here we go Panther fans, this is for the money." "Clean snap, the ball is down, the kick is up, it's on the way, it's long enough, and it is…"
Debate Round No. 2
22 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by BellumQuodPacis 7 years ago
BellumQuodPacis
Thanks a lot surb!
Posted by twsurber 7 years ago
twsurber
Congrats BQP! The tribe has spoken. I enjoyed reading your work. Surbs
Posted by twsurber 7 years ago
twsurber
Actually, if you read the whole story it's more than just baseball. The intensity is there, building towards a potentially game winning field goal. The ending is similar to "Lady and the Tiger."
Posted by BellumQuodPacis 7 years ago
BellumQuodPacis
Well originally it was supposed to be picking from the three topics I had put out and then CON picks one and BOTH must write on that genre. He didn't realize this and said three anyways and I just went with it to avoid confusion. Really, my way is to prevent reader genre bias such as yours. Do as you wish.
Posted by Loserboi 7 years ago
Loserboi
iono i think i should take back my vote because I just naturally do not like baseball at all, I went to 4 Giants games and it was extremely boring
Posted by XStrikeX 7 years ago
XStrikeX
I did one in one of my debates on baseball. I thought it was pretty nice and dramatic. :D
Posted by Loserboi 7 years ago
Loserboi
especially baseball
Posted by Loserboi 7 years ago
Loserboi
It's really hard to write a very intense sports scene
Posted by XStrikeX 7 years ago
XStrikeX
I did not particularly enjoy the entire list of sport-related things... it was... boring.
Posted by Ragnar_Rahl 7 years ago
Ragnar_Rahl
"Spelling and grammarv."
6 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 6 records.
Vote Placed by Blank 6 years ago
Blank
BellumQuodPacistwsurberTied
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Vote Placed by BellumQuodPacis 7 years ago
BellumQuodPacis
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Vote Placed by sllewuy 7 years ago
sllewuy
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Vote Placed by Loserboi 7 years ago
Loserboi
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Vote Placed by I-am-a-panda 7 years ago
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Vote Placed by XStrikeX 7 years ago
XStrikeX
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