The Instigator
BellumQuodPacis
Pro (for)
Losing
7 Points
The Contender
Loserboi
Con (against)
Winning
17 Points

Short Story Challenge

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 5 votes the winner is...
Loserboi
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 9/21/2010 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 6 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,340 times Debate No: 13192
Debate Rounds (2)
Comments (20)
Votes (5)

 

BellumQuodPacis

Pro

In this challenge, pro will throw out a few writing areas and topics for each one. (3 to be exact) Con will then choose a topic.
The simple way to vote is:
Spelling and grammarv is literal.
Conduct is the relevance to the topic.
Best arguments will be to the better story in the opinion of the reader.
Sources shall be graded on the amount of rhetoric used by the author (I.e. Tricolon, anaphora, anecdotal synapses, etc.)
Round 1 is the presentation of topics and round 2 is the posting of the story. Dialogue is allowed.
Again, i will throw out three topics, you pick one in round 2 then write your story, in round 1 you throw out three topics and i will choose one in round 2.

Your topics to choose from are:
-romance
-non-fiction
-biography

Good luck.
Loserboi

Con

Your topics to choose from are:
-Horror
-Romance
-Biography
Debate Round No. 1
BellumQuodPacis

Pro

BellumQuodPacis forfeited this round.
Loserboi

Con

Romance?
I spin the revolver... *Click* I put it towards my head... the rain keeps falling, there is a storm outside, lightning flashing.
I hear arguing... I can't hear what they are saying... but I hear them.
*click* nothing..eh? I sit there reminiscing the past 6 days again, these past 6 days all I have been doing is reminiscing of older days...
Day 1
The morning the afternoon, I can't remember well... but the night I can still see clearly in my mind what happened that night on November 9th 2010. I went inside the large building soaking wet from the rain. I was dazed I was in a state of shock, Chris called me here, told me it was urgent or something. I went to the lady at the front asked her a question, she responded with "room 106". Before I knew it, I was running to room 106, I got to the door room 106... put my head through the circle window on the door, put my hand on the other window with shocked eyes... I said one word "Jennifer..."
I opened the door on impulse, I heard the doctor yell "Tim?! Jesus Christ get him out of here now!" I fought with the two nurses trying to pull me off... "No, Let me go! What happened?!" I yelled
I was got a response from the nurse through my loud cries "Sir, we are trying to save her now... please..."
I had a blank stare on my face looked at the doctors face and he gave me a nod. I left the room and sat down for 2 hours, just waiting. The doctor came out with his head down "I'm sorry, Tim we lost her, she lost too much blood from the car crash."
Jennifer Harmon, 5'7, brown hair, brown eyes, blood type A, died on November 9th 2010, time of death: 11:45pm
Chris took off his mask and told me he cleaned the blood "Tim, you can say your last goodbyes if you want, I'll go notify her parents"
I went into the room, sat on the stool next to her, her hand was cold... I rested my head on her hand and god damn it the roof was leaking on the one part of the hospital floor that i was sitting on, and it only hit my face and each drop fell to knees, in just one spot. 1hour later her parents came, her dad barked at me to leave the room, I got up slowly kissed my love's cold hand and walked to the door to leave... some lady crying starting beating my chest "How could you let this happen?! you monster! My baby!"
I could not say anything, anything i said wouldn't mean anything, I just left.

*click* he... another one missed eh? Day 2...
Chris drove me back home... It was already 1:45am, I got out the car, Chris said something and I went up 5 flights of stairs to ou... I mean my apartment now. It was bigger... one bedroom, one bath, one kitchen with a table in it, small living room it resembled a state university dorm room. I got into bed turned stared at the wall for 2hours and then as I reached to turn off the light "Goodnight Tim, I love you"
I turned around turned off the light and there she was. Jennifer Harmon the perfect image of a woman, who's smile could make god stop and re marvel at his creation, big brown eyes that just memorized you, and the lips of an angel. My mind was playing tricks on me i knew it and I did not care... "I love you too honey..."
I put my arms around her but that is where reality and imaginary do not mix. I went to put my arms around her my hand fell right to the mat... I wanted to touch what my mind pitied me to see. I could not sleep I just stared at my arm on the empty side of the mat the entire night and day...

*click* I sure picked a sh1tty day to be lucky... 3 strikes and I am still not out... thanks god
Day 3
I got out of the house... went to the park, sat under the big tree in the middle of the park. I was broke, she knew that... but she still said yes to go on our first date. We sat under this tree, admired the free scenery, fed the ducks, got chased by the pigeons, swung on the swings at the kids park, got kicked out by security, and them came back to this spot. Jennifer would just watch the sun, under this tree, I could not look at the sun at all, or the flowers, or the leaves when the most beautiful thing was already sitting right next to me. "T and J first date, November 14, 2002" carved on this tree. I went to feed the ducks, but no ducks were near the pond, no children were on the swings, no security guard to yell at me... I swung alone... I was alone... I am alone...

*Click* Sigh... "why?!"
Day 4
I have not eaten in 2 days... I went to the pizza place down the block from where we lived. Jennifer and I would walk down the marketplace and just eat pizza for lunch and dinner. We didn't have much but we had each other. We would pass by every store window shopping 4 blocks deep, from the footlocker, to the converse store,the van store, the taco bell, the borders, the jewelery store, the supplies store, paint shop, we would go to every store once or twice and that would be our evening just window shopping, hand in hand, we would go up and down the blocks doing absolutely nothing by browsing. I didn't have much but she didn't care. I did buy from one store though... I worked at the Theme park 10miles away from the city as a caricature artist. They didn't pay me much, but I loved it, she loved it, on nights where we had nothing to do. She would just ask me to draw her, I was happy to every time to draw such beauty. All the funny cartoon pictures would just be hanging on the wall across from out bed.
*Click* i escaped death 5times already... you couldn't let her do it once?
Day 5
*ring* *ring* the phone rang... I picked it up this time.
"Son?"
"dad?"
"Son, I'm sorry about Jennifer... you take all the time you need before coming to work"
"To work?"
"Son, you are not turning down my offer are ya, you will make triple at the company... Son? son?"
I hung up the phone... work?
My dad never took any interest in me, till after college. My parents were divorced.
I went to the kitchen, threw out the old pizza boxes... lifted up the lid and found my art supplies in the trash...
It finally hit me... the morning of November 9th... I took the job at my dad's office and quit my job as a artist.
I went down to the Jewelery store after and bought a ring... I was 25 years old it was time for me to figure out my life... that was what was on my mind...
I have not changed clothes this entire week... and there it was the ring was in front pocket of my jeans, in its case.
That night... at 6, I was going to propose. What happened before the accident?
The night of November 9th:
"Jennifer, I'm going to for my dad"
She was surprised "You hate your dad though"
"It does not matter, I am going to make so much money, we can finally leave this place"
She was overwhelmed "Why? what about your art"
"That is over, there was no future in that, don't you see this is the best opportunity for us!"
"No, you love you art! you can't just throw that away for me"
"Its not for you, its for us, we can finally be happy! We can't live here our entire lives!" I took all my supplies and threw them away, my brushes my paint, my markers gone and broken.
She went to get them back, I pulled her away "I can finally support us! your parents will love me now!"
She ran out the door "I never cared about any of that... I loved you and that was enough, we were happy, at least i thought we were..."
I screamed as she left "I'm not a loser anymore!"
*Ring* "Tim! Jennifer got in a car crash leaving the amusement park!"

Day 6
This morning was her funeral.
I got to the coffin at the cemetery before they lowered it. She looks so peaceful. Chris came up to me, he had a bag with him "Tim, she dropped this in the operating room, its yours"
It was a paintbrush... it was my fault...
I brushed her Mohagany coffin, kissed her and put the ring on her finger. "I love you"

Back to the moment from the beginning
The gun pointed towards my head... The roof leaked on my face again... "I'm sorry! I couldn't speak at your funeral. You loved me why wasn't that enough for me!
hand was sha
Debate Round No. 2
20 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by Loserboi 6 years ago
Loserboi
ive never been good with my grammer can't help it
Posted by 1stLordofTheVenerability 6 years ago
1stLordofTheVenerability
Loserboi, a little more attention to grammatical correctness would aid to aesthetic appeal, y'know.
Posted by Loserboi 6 years ago
Loserboi
sure,
Posted by BellumQuodPacis 6 years ago
BellumQuodPacis
I only did it to tie. Sorry i had to be inactive, but do you mind if we just draw?
Posted by Loserboi 6 years ago
Loserboi
the ending
hand was shaking "COWARD!" Thunder roared, I pulled the trigger, Nobody heard...
Posted by Loserboi 6 years ago
Loserboi
i would be happy to restart, maybe we can switch some of the topics
Posted by Loserboi 6 years ago
Loserboi
if i write anything do i basically win?
Posted by BellumQuodPacis 6 years ago
BellumQuodPacis
Dude im so sorry. I had interims this week. Mind if we restart this?
Posted by Loserboi 6 years ago
Loserboi
i hope by the end of this episode of man v food that i am watching he will have posted by then
Posted by BellumQuodPacis 6 years ago
BellumQuodPacis
Real person.
5 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 5 records.
Vote Placed by Marauder 6 years ago
Marauder
BellumQuodPacisLoserboiTied
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Total points awarded:04 
Vote Placed by HEADPHONEGUY 6 years ago
HEADPHONEGUY
BellumQuodPacisLoserboiTied
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Vote Placed by BellumQuodPacis 6 years ago
BellumQuodPacis
BellumQuodPacisLoserboiTied
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Vote Placed by Blank 6 years ago
Blank
BellumQuodPacisLoserboiTied
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Vote Placed by Loserboi 6 years ago
Loserboi
BellumQuodPacisLoserboiTied
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Total points awarded:05