The Instigator
hedwig
Pro (for)
Losing
0 Points
The Contender
Heineken
Con (against)
Winning
20 Points

Short Story Debate

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 5 votes the winner is...
Heineken
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 11/16/2012 Category: Arts
Updated: 4 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 2,037 times Debate No: 27301
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (0)
Votes (5)

 

hedwig

Pro

I will start a short story, and my opponent will add a new part. Which ever side gets the most votes had the best part of the story!

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If you are ever feeling lost or alone, there will come a time when you will see a bus.

It looks pretty normal. It's white with a blue stripe going all the way around it, free from advertisements. For some unknown reason, you're going to feel like the bus is drawing you in. It's going to be really hard, but please please run as far as you can in the opposite direction.

A few months ago, I was having a really rough night. I was going through depression, like most teenagers do. I called my friend Ava and asked her to come over. Ava is the kind of person who cares a little too much about other people and often puts her own feelings aside. We spent the whole night talking about life and our dreams, and I admit I was feeling better. But I knew the sadness would creep its way back into me soon. I suppose I should've listened to what Ava was saying to me, instead of being caught up in my own problems. Maybe that would've saved her.

About a week later things were the worst they had ever been. I woke up from a nightmare at 3AM with tears on my face. I walked out to my driveway and sat down next to my mailbox. I was shivering from the cold, I didn't think about wearing a jacket. In my hand I had a pack of my mom's prescription pills. That night really felt like the end of the world to me. Shaking, I lifted up a handful of the pills to my mouth when I heard a vehicle coming down the road. I quickly stuffed them in my pocket and pretended to be checking the mail. The bus stopped right there. I guess I should have realized that buses don't come to rural areas, much less at 3AM. For some reason though, all logical thought left me. I got on the bus.
Heineken

Con

Chapter 2 - "What the hell is going on?"

The massive bus roared through the pitch black night like a steel rhino on a solo stampede.
The driver almost didn't see me, so when the bus finally screeched to a stop, I had a short sprint ahead of me.

As I approached the front of the bus, the passenger access port swung open, creaking loudly.

"Hurry the f**k up!", bellowed the driver, panic in his voice.

"Hey", I shouted," don't speak to me like th..."

"I said hurry the f**k up! They're not far behind us."

"Who?" I asked.

A woman stepped off the bus. She turned on a high intensity LED flashlight and pointed it directly at my face. The way she looked at me, it was almost like she was inspecting me or looking for something.

"She's clean!." shouted the woman.

"Get her on the bus Maggie!" retorted the driver.

"Let's go sweetie", whispered Maggie," we don't have much time."

"Wait!", I protested. "Where are we going and who are you running from?"

"Them", said Maggie, pointing behind me.

There where many, more than a hundred. I tried to focus my eyes, but all I could see was wave of bodies crashing into each other as they clumsily walked down Route 5A, toward the town of Burke.

Maggie grew pale, she swung her flashlight towards the woods next to the bus. The bushes rustled, a deep groaning sound emanated from the dark forest.

"Get on the f**king bus child!" demanded Maggie, her calm demeanor now clearly gone.

That's when I saw it. Three men fell out of the bushes. They spilled over each other in an uncoordinated rush to reach the bus. The driver sprinted off the bus towards the three men and began swinging a massive logging axe like a Scottish Highlander.

I covered my mouth in horror as the axe landed deep in the chest of forest walker. His sternum split open like rusty cellar doors, his innards spilling upon the cool ground.

The driver struggled to pry his axe free, the forest walker still groaning and clawing. As the axe pulled loose, the walk fell forward. His face hit the pavement next to the bus and I could hear the skull split open like a rotten melon. Maggie walked over and stepped on the walker's head. His skull flattened without much effort.

My stomach turned almost immediately. As the pink brain-matter pushed out of the rotten skull like toothpaste, my vision blurred and an overwhelming wave of nausea forced me to my knees.

I vaguely recall the feeling of the pavement slapping my skull as I fell forward into unconsciousness. I heard Maggie's voice:" I got you sweetie. I got you......"

Debate Round No. 1
hedwig

Pro

hedwig forfeited this round.
Heineken

Con

**Spoiler Alert**

The zombies kill everyone. My opponent was planning on working a "Twilight vs Magic Mike" storyline into her next round, but my creative zombie spin (which has NEVER been done before) screwed up her plans for an epic teen romance novel.


Vote Optimus Prime / Steve Jobs 2016.

(Paid for by the Prime Jobs campaign for President.)


Debate Round No. 2
hedwig

Pro

hedwig forfeited this round.
Heineken

Con

Fofeiture. Vote CON.
Debate Round No. 3
No comments have been posted on this debate.
5 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 5 records.
Vote Placed by Maikuru 4 years ago
Maikuru
hedwigHeinekenTied
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Total points awarded:04 
Reasons for voting decision: Arguments and conduct to Con for forfeits and dropped story rounds.
Vote Placed by Muted 4 years ago
Muted
hedwigHeinekenTied
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Total points awarded:04 
Reasons for voting decision: the ability to tell a story is not something that appears out of thin air.
Vote Placed by utahjoker 4 years ago
utahjoker
hedwigHeinekenTied
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Total points awarded:05 
Reasons for voting decision: Pro forfeited and had a better story anyways.
Vote Placed by RyuuKyuzo 4 years ago
RyuuKyuzo
hedwigHeinekenTied
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Total points awarded:04 
Reasons for voting decision: ff
Vote Placed by Microsuck 4 years ago
Microsuck
hedwigHeinekenTied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: ff