Should I Help People That Dont Respect Me?
Debate Rounds (3)
Should I help people that don't respect me namely my brothers and parents. I don't feel that I should. If they ask me politely to do something for them like cutting there hair and if I am busy and if I say I cant I am doing something else, they would get angry and say why not, what are you doing. Once they here what I am doing they judge it and if it doesn't coincide with something they would do like mediating they would start arguing with me.
If I don't do something for them they would say, I thought your supposed to be spiritual and help people or they would say, it says in the bible that you are supposed to help people, even thou they are Christian and they never even read the bible. They try to pick on the things I am trying to learn and use it to their advantage.
I love helping people I don't know. My family think I should help my own brothers and sisters first and then help others. I love helping people I don't know because they don't hate me and I don't know what they have been through in there lives and how good of a person they are.
I just don't like helping people who hate me, don't respect me or my belief's and that are only asking my help just so they don't have to do things that they don't want to do.
I would rather HELP them if it had something to do with their health, psychology or relationships than just cutting their hair so they think that they look cool or good looking.
I am against helping people that don't like to listen to me and that see me as their servant. I hope someone enlightens me. Thank You!
You've heard it all before, presumably... The golden rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
In terms of cutting hair, it really shouldn't be such a big problem in the first place. The best thing to do is become the adult in the situation and answer their questions, and don't leave any room for debate. They're expressing their opinions, which they have the right to do. It is up to you to decide how you want to interpret it and how you will respond it what they say. It may seem like they are disrespecting you, but you need to learn how to thicken your skin and not let them impact you.
They try to defend themselves in such ways as saying "I thought you were supposed to be spiritual", and it is understandable why that would make you upset. They are being hypocrites as well, yes, but it is still the right thing to do, help people.
You need to learn how to stand up for yourself better, while still being the bigger person and helping them in certain situations. That's why they're picking on you, because you're an easy target and they know this for a fact.
I only use something simple like cutting hair as an example. I do respect aspects of them like their views and belief's but I don't how to respect them in certain things like the fact that they do not care if they run over an animal or someone's pet.
I think that they don't respect me because of what I care about or what I do. I coach people mostly on losing weight, quitting smoking, mediation, green energy and helping there pets become more happy. Its just this respect thing for people that don't like me has me scratching my head.
I still do things for them, but when I am doing it and they tell me to do it a certain way I find their way hard and for me and I can do it my way faster and with better quality.
Its just that is hard not argue when they are criticising me about something. Respecting their every wish without be a pushover and still having time to do the things I want to do I my live is a struggle for me. After all I am not a Zen Master. I am a 21 year old with a lot sill to learn from life.
You are certainly a wise person "if one cannot rise above the foolish actions of others, but instead allow themselves to droop to their level, then are they not as at fault as the other". That's what the Buddhist teachings are telling me. When I get caught up in an argument its hard not to allow yourself to drop to their level, all I try to do in an argument is see the persons view, why they think that and express my point so as help them see where I am coming from. When they don't care what I have to say and only care about there view that's what pisses me off.
Thank you for helping me understand. However when it always happens I end up forgetting what my religion teaches and I become unconscious of what I am learning. Its there belief's as well and I just wish that they would do the same until I have developed the wings I need to fly on my own.
I am Christian but I can understand Buddhism much better and have been trying to live and learn Buddhism. I have been very busy with work and find it hard to find time to learn. When I was in collage I had lots of time to listen to Buddhist texts and learn going to and from collage on the bus, during free classes, and at break. During that time I never got into as much arguments as I do now. But I my defence it is usually when I am doing something on my own quietly that someone might say something negative to me I respond calmly then they increase their volume and I do the same an before you know it, its an argument. I am still trying.
I want to help my family but I just wish they would not expect my help when ever they ask and when I am busy I wish they could understand that I am not siting down waiting to be given order and not hate me for being busy with something.
I am going to REALLY exaggerate this but please bare with me, Its like as if Adolf Hitler or someone you don't like for what they do asks you to help them. Ok, my family is not that bad but its still feels weird. It feels weird helping people that have such hatred towards animals, spiritual people like Eckhart Tolle and Wayne Dyer, Buddhists and other things that they don't understand like brainwave entrainment and Qi Gong or yoga. I almost feel like if I am helping them I am one of them and that I am helping them be that way.
I will mediate on everything you have said and all the peoples comments so that I may better understand and learn and do better for others. Thank You!
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