Skittles are delicious
Debate Rounds (3)
My opponent claims that the candy "Skittles" is worthy of worship, asserting that "skittles are delicious." Unfortunately, this is just not the case.
Skittles, a small tab shaped candy that are supposed to taste like artificial fruit, are an abomination to the human race. Not only are their taste disingenuous and fraudulent (which ruins the pallet and leaves an unpleasant aftertaste on the tongue for no less than a half an hour), but the consistency of these "candies" is nothing short of satanic. Not only is it hard to chew, but as you bite down on this calamitous confectionery, it splits and clings to your teeth like a fragment grenade exploding in your mouth. Only the victim is not some obscure army cadet; the victim is you. After engulfing your teeth in a sticky and almost impermeable casket of doom, the victim must reach into their mouth with their own hand, throwing us back evolutionary thousands of years to the status of a Homo Erectus, with the animal like incivility or a pig.
Skittles are NOT delicious, as shown by arguments aforementioned.
Prophesy has decreed since the dawn of man that the long-awaited pellet of many hues shall arise to bring humanity to great heights of divinity. 'Twas nothing short of a miracle that day in 1974, when Mars Inc. underwent the most significant ventures it has ever taken upon itself to overcome. And overcome it did. That miracle they achieved that day is the pinnacle of human achievement, but it is more than simple human achievement. It is all that is holy.
Its radiance should not come as a surprise to us. The signs of its coming have been cropping up everywhere in recent decades.
Here are some sightings:
It has all manifested into this:
(Doesn't that look delicious/The girl's smile is indicative of the supreme bliss which Skittles brings upon the mortal soul. Behold her Skittle-induced smooth, unblemished skin)
Skittles are so delicious, the its image is reflected in the world as rainbows.
Skittles are so good, cakes have been made in honor of its radiant glory.
Alcoholic Skittles, enough said.
I thank my opponent for their well thought out refute, however wrong it may be.
My opponent asserts, and it seems to be their only argument, that because there have been prophecies of the creation of Skittles, Skittles must be a good thing. I could not disagree more. Like most omens, these signs foretell something horrible, cataclysmic, and dangerous to society. Similar to weather balloons that "prophecise" the coming of hurricanes, these signs, such as the rainbow, were not signs of rejoice, but warnings. Warnings to the people of the human race what damaging effect allowing Skittles into our society would have. Similar to Hurricane Ike, Skittles have caused families to be torn apart, houses to be destroyed, millions of dollars in property value lost, and I could go on. I pray that people, unlike my opponent, will not fall victim to the fallacy that because by the grace of God we were warned about the coming of Skittles, they must be a good thing.
Don't be a prude.
Skittles is Love.
Skittles is Life.
I thank my opponent for this engaging debate. I cannot wait to see the results, although I am almost sure it's evident who won.
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