The Instigator
Awesome-Sauce
Pro (for)
Losing
0 Points
The Contender
cheesedingo1
Con (against)
Winning
5 Points

Spit vs. Semen for Rude People's Food

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 2 votes the winner is...
cheesedingo1
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 6/15/2012 Category: Society
Updated: 5 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 3,697 times Debate No: 24287
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (4)
Votes (2)

 

Awesome-Sauce

Pro

TROLL DEBATE!!!

cheesedingo1 and I have agreed to start a troll debate, just for fun. Votes shall be placed for whoever trolls the biggest and most successfully!

This debate will be centered on rude customers at restauraunts. The debate is basically what should be done to an extremely rude customer's food by the restaurant worker? Should the food get a drizzling of drool or a squirt of baby-making juice?

I, Pro, will be arguing for spit, while cheesedingo will be arguing for semen.

1st round acceptance

LET THE TROLLING BEGIN!! :D
cheesedingo1

Con

I will accept this debate, and agree that anyone who is rude at resturaunt doesn't deserve SPIT in there food, but SEMEN.

So...


CHEESEDINGO1 ACCEPTS!!!!!
Debate Round No. 1
Awesome-Sauce

Pro

"My food is too cold! I said I wanted my food to be 85 degrees Fahrenheit and it's only fvcking 84!"

"Hello! We've been waiting here for 5 minutes and we STILL haven't gotten our drinks!"

"Here's a quarter for all your hard work. Don't spend it all in one place."

"I WANTED NO LETTUCE ON MY BURGER! Where's your manager, you incompetent scumbag?"


The previous statements are something a$$hole customers might say. Who, might you ask, has to put up with these jerks? Servers in restaurants. Servers already put up with a bunch of crap. They get paid less than minimum wage plus tips (which tips can be low or even nonexistent at times). They have to rush around making sure everyone is happy. Servers in restaurants are put under a lot of stress right off the bat. But then there are times where it gets to be too much. When does this happen?

It happens when they have to deal with customers that are complete and utter jerks.

Sometimes these customers can be ignored. Sometimes the server can just grit their teeth and smile politely in the face of the devil.

But we're not talking about those times.

Oh no, we're talking about the times where the sweet topping of revenge is added to that particular rude customer's food by the server. We're talking about the server's payback.

But what should that payback be? Spit, or semen?

I, Awesome-Sauce, will be arguing for spit to be that sweet, delicate, extra special ingredient on top of the food of a douchebag.

I will show how spit is easier, more convenient, and more appropriate to add to the food, over semen.


Spit is easier to add to the food than semen

Well first let us clarify what semen is specifically. Semen is, in simple terms, the baby-maker juice that is deposited by the man through his member (http://menshealth.about.com...)

Now, one quick important note for an advantage of spit over semen. Spit is easier to add simply because men AND women can spit in the food. Semen comes exclusively from a man. What if a waitress is harrassed by some jacka$$? She doesn't have the right parts (well, hopefully, anyway) to deposit semen into the food. So that leaves two options for her. She either:

a) Gets a guy to do the semen trick. However, this doesn't accomplish the feeling of revenge that that waitress is craving. Sure, getting semen in the food would still be getting back at the jerk customer, but the waitress was unable to do it personally. So the same feeling of accomplishment and joy would not be obtained

b) Spits in the food to still get back at the jerk customer.

Option B is much more preferable, because this will still give her a feeling of sweet revenge that she was able to personally screw up the customer's food.

But, let's say we have a male waiter being treated like sh1t by a customer. He can personally eject some happy juice in the customer's food. But there are a couple of major problems.

- How the he11 would he wip out his member and eject the semen into the food before management sees him?

- How would the male waiter, wanting payback, be able to get aroused enough to deposit semen into the food? I'm pretty sure they don't keep a supply of "mature videos" back in the kitchen at restauraunts.

With spit you still get major payback, and it's a lot quicker and simpler to add to food.


Spit is more appropriate to add to the food than semen is

Spitting into one's food goes beyond getting payback - the act of spitting is a symbol. Spitting is a universal sign of anger, hatred, disrespect, or contempt (http://en.wikipedia.org...). Spitting is the perfect fit for revenge on a rude customer. Semen doesn't stand for the same things spit does. While spitting at someone is a universal sign of anger, semen is associated with love-making, and those are feelings of happiness, pleasure, and joy, not anger. Semen just isn't the right fit for getting back at someone you are completely angry at.


Spit is more favorable over semen because:

a) Spit can be applied personally by both men AND women

b) Spit is FAR easier to add to food than semen is

c) Spit is more appropriate and more fitting to serve up revenge than semen is


I await cheesedingo's response. Which will certainly not be a SPITting image of mine! XD *slaps knee*
cheesedingo1

Con

My opponent have excellent examples of those type of people who you just can't stand if you are a waiter/waitress. But if there is someone who is REALLY pushing you over the edge, just spit won't do it. That's why I say that semen, yes, SEMEN, should be put on rude people's food to display your revenge, for these 3 reasons:

1) It's worth more worth it

2) It's easier to get away with it

3) It's a better use for semen

Note: When we put the semen or spit on the food, we mix it in or at least cover it up. Putting it on top flat out would result in Humiliation, more nagging by the rude party, and possible firing.
=======================================================================================


1) It's more worth it
You know how when your on a hike, you feel good if you climb a hill, right? I mean at least you accomplished something, right? Well, don't you feel even BETTER when you climb the entire f*ckin' mountain range?!?!?! Hell YEAH!!!!!! That's what it's like with spit VS semen. I mean, ANYONE can just spit on the whim. But if you jizz on someones meal?!?!?! Doing this makes you so pleased with yourself that you have done this, it's like looking down the mountain you just climbed and saying 'f*ck yeah, I JUST DID THAT."

2) It's easier to get away with it
Since we're talking about waiters, that means they're handling food. When there is good food, there is bad food, and often waiter's eat the defects that shouldn't be served to people, but are still completely edible. So, that means they're mouth has pieces of food in it. So, when the waiters spit on the food, the people not only can taste your disgusting spit, but taste what YOU tasted, talk to your manager, and he would get you fired. Semen, on the other hand, tastes good (just ask Wallstreetathiest. He has convinced me and many other to use it as mouthwash) and the rude people will now ease off of you and actually be LESS rude. So, semen is better.

3) It is a better use for semen
Ok, when men jizz, they do what, go all american pie and put it in a sock? Use tissues? Now, you can put it in a little cup/test tube, and pour it on when your boss or co-workers are looking when it happens. Now, jizz will no longer fill your socks or trash bag, but in the mouths of RUDE PEOPLE. How you like THEM apples?!?!

I hand it over to Awesome-Sauce. We will do our rebuttles next round so we can argue against eachother the same amount to be fair.

Thank you
Debate Round No. 2
Awesome-Sauce

Pro

1) It's more worth it

So cheesedingo says semen is better for food because you feel a feeling of accomplishment and you feel like saying "F*ck yeah, I just did that sh1t." I have one thing to say to this.

HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO JIZZ IN A KITCHEN???????????? I mean to jizz you have to be aroused. Unless one has a strange fetish for cooked food, how is one supposed to just jizz on command???????

Also, I don't think jizzing in the rude customer's food would come with a better feeling of "hell yeah!" than spitting would. I mean, when you spit at someone, or in someone's food, I believe you would feel like a f*cking boss. It's more of a "come at me bro!" gesture than jizzing.

2) It's easier to get away with

I highly disagree with this. My opponent focuses on the taste of spit vs. the taste of semen. But there's a BIG problem with the whole semen thing. For a guy to jizz in a plate of food, he's gonna have to

1 - unzip his pants

2 - take his member out

3 - jizz (who knows how long this would take)

4 - put his member back in his pants

5 - zip up his pants


For ANYONE to spit in a plate of food, this is what they have to do

1 - spit


So while semen takes 5 steps to accomplish, spit only takes one quick step. This means that while the idiot waiter is trying to jizz in a plate of food, there's a LOT more time for a manager or customer to see him, which will only end in his a$$ getting fired. Meanwhile, the smart revenge-taking waiter could spit in 10 plates of food by the time the other waiter gets done with one plate.

3) It is a better use for semen

Cheesedingo thinks a better use for semen is to add it to food. You know what I think is a better use for semen??? Getting yo freak on. That's right, why add your precious supply of baby-making juice to food when you can go get yo freak on? Spit can be utilized for adding to food, but semen should be saved for those special moments.

Over to cheesedingo.
cheesedingo1

Con

First of all, i thank Awesome-Sauce for his arguments.

1)HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO JIZZ IN A KITCHEN???????????? I mean to jizz you have to be aroused. Unless one has a strange fetish for cooked food, how is one supposed to just jizz on command???????
As I said in my third argument, when men jizz, they often don't know what do do with it, such as goin' all american pie and use a sock, or just use a tissue. With this, you can put it IN DOUCHEBAG'S FOOD. That is way better. So, when a dude jizzes, instead of wasting it, save your sperm for rude people's food.

I believe you would feel like a f*cking boss
Um, when you jizz, you already feel awesome. Now, you know some d*ck will be eating your baby juice. Now THAT, my friends, makes you feel much more accomplished than if you just merely spit.

2) My opponent keeps saying that you jizz right then and there, but I've been saying not to do that and do it before work (or whenever, you know.... you get that "feeling") and put it in a little container, and slip it onto the food when your coworkers aren't looking.
Spit, on the other hand, you have to drool over someones food your about to serve, and at least one person will see it.

3)You know what I think is a better use for semen??? Getting yo freak on.
Sadly, the love that many men will get is from their hand. So, where better to put it that on a rude dude's food? Read my first rebutle for more.

Now, onto my opponent's case.

1)My opponent talks about how it is unfair for women, but actually, it is BETTER FOR THEM to put sperm on their food for 2 reasons:

A) It gets them points with the dudes.
How do women get sperm? From dudes of course. How, do you ask? Well.... I guess you guys already know... But yeah, they get to be able to enjoy themselves with them men, and they get to mess with rude d*ckheads. It's a win win.

B) They are not suspected.
If somehow the rude people have a very acute sense of taste, they will taste the sperm. Who do they blame? THE GIRL. F*ck no. They will not suspect the women to jizz on their food! Therefore, women cannot get caught unless they are caught in the application of the sperm to the food process.


2)Spit is more appropriate to add to the food than semen is
Wrong. Spit is gross and absurd, while sperm is nice and tasty. As I said in my first argument, WSA can agree that sperm tastes good and should be used for more than just mouthwash: a nice topping for rude people's food. Spit belongs in the mouth and stay there. Sperm should roam WILD and FREE.

I await awesome-sauce's response. Which will certainly not be a SPERMing image of mine!.....ok, I guess it doesn't really work....

Thank you
Debate Round No. 3
Awesome-Sauce

Pro

Awesome-Sauce forfeited this round.
cheesedingo1

Con

A shame awesome sauce had to forfeit. I guess all there is to say is vote for con! A vote for con is a vote for semen! http://blundermum.com... (scroll down to the pic of uncle Sam)

Now, let this be the day that you ALMOST caught.... Captain.....cheese......dingo.....

Thanks to everyone who read and put up with my stupid attempt at humor! And thanks awesome sauce for a great debate!
Debate Round No. 4
4 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 4 records.
Posted by bossyburrito 5 years ago
bossyburrito
"Now, let this be the day that you ALMOST caught.... Captain.....cheese......dingo....."
U make me lul
Posted by InVinoVeritas 5 years ago
InVinoVeritas
LOLz
Posted by Awesome-Sauce 5 years ago
Awesome-Sauce
That's all right cheesedingo!
Posted by cheesedingo1 5 years ago
cheesedingo1
I'm sorry for the disturbance, but I will be with my father on a trip for fathers day this weekend. I will accept this debate when i come back. Sorry for the delay, awesome-sauce!
2 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Vote Placed by InVinoVeritas 5 years ago
InVinoVeritas
Awesome-Saucecheesedingo1Tied
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Total points awarded:01 
Reasons for voting decision: FF
Vote Placed by tvellalott 5 years ago
tvellalott
Awesome-Saucecheesedingo1Tied
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Total points awarded:04 
Reasons for voting decision: I love this debate. Neither of your arguments were particularly better than the others, but Con didn't forfeit and I found his analogy about blowing a load in someones food being akin to climbing a whole mountain range to be very funny. Terrible work guys, keep it up. ;)