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Story Debate

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 7/23/2012 Category: Entertainment
Updated: 4 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,390 times Debate No: 24842
Debate Rounds (5)
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Hi, I saw some of these and I was really impressed. At my junior high, we received writing lessons from a guest author and I would like to try one out and see if I really learned anything :)

If you are an actual author or writer, please don't accept this debate.

This debate will function just like the other story debate, my opponent may start off with a topic, I will write the first section and I will stop at any point and my opponent must carry on in the next round etc etc. Votes will be awarded on who wrote the best section instead of convincing argument. No sources are required.

If my opponent would like to make any changes to the rules I would happily accept them if they are within reason.

I look forward to a fun Story Debate!


crap, i didnt mean to accept this debate i was just looking at it and tried to exit out im sry, now im stuck,

i will do what i can, im not a writer, in fact one of the worse lol, and i work alot and cant respond with Long things as 8,000 chracters, so im sorry if it is short and not elaborate. Hope i understood the debate correctly, start with a story and go back and forth.

Story Title...Theresa's last Request

At the start of a buzzing sound, Destiny gently opened her eyes, a blurry image began to come into focus, it was three letters spelling S.O.S. on the ceiling of her bedroom as she lay in her bed. "Today is the day" Destiny yawned the words as she turn to the side of her bed and turned off the alarm clock. It was 8am on a saturday morning, Destiny slowly sat up streatch her arms and looked around the room, but her gaze stopped at a tennis ball size hole in her bedroom door, triggering an unforgettable flashback from the night before. Snapping back to reality, she was instantly filled with energy and began to get ready, after a shower downstairs, and back to her room upstairs to get dress, she looked at her cell phone that read 8:45 "They are late" Destiny said with a worried voice. She grabbed bookbag draped over one shoulder tossed her journal from under her mattress inside, and headed downstairs. On her way down a silhouette figure came into view that stood in the kitchen with eyes peering at the bottom of the stairs.

"Dad? Is that you? up already?" Destiny said.

"Where do you think your going?" Her Dad Said in a gruff voice.

"it's a Saturday, im going out im not doing anything dangerous I know better" Destiny said as she slowly made her way to the Door

"Did you ask if you could leave?" Her Dad said in a serious tone.

"I didn't think I needed to, I cant practice independency if your on my back like a drill sergeant" Destiny said in a normal tone.

"Yea, I cant be the father you want me to be if you don't start showing me some respect" Her Dad said matching Destiny's tone.

" I did nothing to you, I always do nothing, and you always make it into something, you think—
A familiar sound broke the conversation and filled the room, then Destiny's looked at her cell.

"I gota take this, ‘I will see you tonight, bye!" Destiny said and hurried to the door.

"Hey your late you were suppose to call me at 8:40 is it still on?" Destiny answering the phone.

"If you leave this house you aint coming back!" Her dad yelled.

"Yes, Its defiantly still on meet me at—"

"Hold on" Destiny interrupted the caller, as she looked back at her dad and waved then opened the door to leave,
Destiny then heard a sharp whistling sound by the time she turn her head to see what it was, a startiling loud crash filled her ears, by an inch a glass plate missed destiny's head and shattered against the wall near the door a broken piece cut the side of her cheek. There was silence as Destiny looked at her Dad with rage In her eyes, a faint hello was heard from her cell phone, and a small tear trinkled down her cheek "If it wasn't for my promise to mom……" Destiny said with a soft yet piercing voice. "Nevermind" Destiny said softly closing the door behind her she put the phone in her pocket, zipped up her bookbag and put on both straps on unlocked her bike from the pole on the side of the apartment. She sniffled, and then took a deep breath; after a few seconds, she pulled the phone from her pocket and put the phone back up to her ear.

"Okay so im on my way so where is this place again?" as she hopped on her bike looking back at her apartment.

"Who was…..or what was that noise?" the voice said.

"Don't worry bout that, that's what the meeting Is for right its about 6 of us isn't? what is your name by the way? Destiny said

"Theresa said we shouldn't share names until we all meet at first, the place is on 3113 Romine Street, the house is light blue and black cant miss it, I will see you there.

Destiny hung up and road anxiously to the place, many thoughts raced through her head, what to do about her abusive father, her promise to her mom that she would not leave because of her little brother living with them. This new Group called the alliance ran by a woman name Theresa who got together students to discuss their problems and find tactful ways to get out of them . It was new, it was a way to vent, and chance at freedom. 10minutes later the House came into view, but Destiny stopped and decided to make a phone call before proceeding further.........
Debate Round No. 1


Destiny pulled out her cell phone and stared at it. Thoughts raced through her head. Should I? Shouldn't I? Should I? Her cell phone trembled in her hand. She flipped it open and dialled. She brought the shaking cell phone up to her head.


"Hey, Johnny."

"Hey Sis, what's up?"

"I just wanted to let you know, I'm doing this to protect you."

"Doing what?"

"I love you, Johnny." Destiny pulled the phone away from her ear and quietly closed the lid. She could still hear her brother shouting out.

"Destiny? You there? What's going on??"

Destiny turned her phone off and rode onwards to the house. There was no turning back now. It was just as the girl on her phone described, light blue and black. The paint was peeling, the stucco falling off, the windows were cracked, it was a shadow of its former self. Destiny looked at the house apprehensively. Was it safe to go in? She didn't even know these people, they haven't even exchanged names. Was this all a sham, perhaps criminal activity? Destiny inhaled deeply. No, I must go on. I'm doing this for Johnny. I must. I cannot fail.

She opened the creaking door and stepped in to the house. The welcome mat spewed a cloud of dust. A cracked mirror stood at the end of the hall. Destiny caught sight of herself. The mirror showed a 15 year old girl, dirty blond hair, piercing blue eyes, a think grey sweater, and blue jeans. She saw a frightened little girl running from the past. She slowly strode forward, eying the house. To her left was a staircase, on the wall there were photos. She walked forward and took one of the photos off the wall. She blew the dust off. It was a little girl, she looked just like Destiny...

She put the picture back on the wall and looked at the next picture. The boy looked so familiar, it looked like...

She turned from the wall breathing heavily. What was going on here? She calmed down. It was just a coincidence, nothing wrong here. She continued breathing, deeply, her eyes darting around. The shadows looked like they hid monsters; every creak sent shock waves through her body. She dashed into the living room. Two raggedy sofas beckoned for her to sit. A coffee table stood in the middle of the room, a coffee cup still on the table. She traversed through the living room, dashing into the kitchen.

"Hello? Is anyone here!" There was no answer. Someone should be there. She ran into the kitchen. A table stood there, a layer of dust covering it. A fridge lay in disrepair in the corner, it's door open. A cupboard door hung on it's last hinge, cobwebs stretching out like fingers. Destiny ran into the cellar. It was pitch black. She stopped at the foot of the stairs, breathing heavily. The darkness enveloping her. She backed up, retreating up the stairs. She heard whispers and creaking.

Rushing wind was coming up at her from the cellar. Her feet were paralyzed to the staircase. It was coming closer, and closer!

A rush of sound washed over her.
"GET OUT!" the voice shouted.
Destiny screamed and ran up the stairs. She dashed through the kitchen, slamming into the walls. She ran to the door and grabbed it, ready to run out into the day. She glanced behind her. She saw the coffee cup. Steam was rising from it. Destiny froze, staring at the steam. A clawed hand folded over her shoulder. She turned, falling, screaming.

Who is behind Destiny?


As strong willed as Destiny was due to her father's abuse and the hard life she lived, at this point she was paralyzed with fear, after falling to the floor on her knees she could no longer run, this was the first time she screamed in a long time, it was dark she couldn't see, With the hand still on her shoulder and suddenly more footsteps approached her, she still remain on the ground with her hands over her eyes with her head down and weeping. The footsteps stopped and after a few minutes of silence destiny wondered why nothing happened. Destiny thought to herself"What the……?" As she slowly lifted her head upward to see who was touching her the remaining lights came on and lit up the whole house. The person touching her took off the glove disguised as a claw and around her was 5 people; average looking people smiling and after short pause they all began to clap.
"Welcome to The Alliance!" they all said at once with a cheery tone
"Is this some kind of sick joke? Was I just some manufactured ideology used as an experiment?" Destiny's voice began to get sharp as she stood up and looked at everyone with no more fear but now a bit of anger.
The clapping came to a slow halt and one of the members spoke.
"My name is Jade, I was the one you spoke with on the phone, No you are not some test subject, we are here to evaluate your qualification for joining the alliance as you agreed to and you passed the test, congratulations!" Jade said motioning for the other members to say something too.
"How did I pass the test if I was scared out of my pants?" Destiny said
"Everyone has a weakness, that had no bearing on your credentials, you still came without knowing a name and we saw you stop outside of the house and instead of you leaving, you continued, gazing at the outside a beat up house most people would have called it off but you still pursued, this showed you had a strong motive and that's what we need, people with heart." Drago said grabbing destiny a chair to sit down in.
Destiny didn't sit still a bit agitated over what happened, "Why didn't you just ask me what my weakness was, what is the point of doing it this way?" Destiny said arms folded.
"The pictures on the wall near the staircase look like you and your brother for the no real reason we wanted to see your reaction, many things we wanted to see how you would respond, the cobwebs, the yelling in the cellar etc. an honest evaluation of your behaviors to these things determined your mental state, you are quite normal. We had to do it in an unexpected way to get a more genuine reactions and determining the core instincts from you based on what you do in situations." Sophia said.
Destiny said looking at the remaining people who had not spoken, "I still think this was lame to do it this way, I feel like the initial trust was broken."
"We understand that, but we are on your side, but I cannot share my name yet, just in case of a spy or in the midst, only half of the group's names are known. It's for the safety of the group, we will reveal" The male said looking next to the female motioning for her to speak.
"Other people who went thru this same event had much different responses, such as breaking pictures or finding a weapon to use, this determined you are not a fighter-survival instinct type" The Female said.
"Ok this is starting to get really confusing, so why are we here wants next? I don't understand what's going on." Destiny said as she finally sat down in the chair offered her, as she did that she noticed another figure coming from another room and entering the room where everyone else was.
"Please allow me to clarify, the voice said the person became closer into view as they walked towards destiny handing her the cup of coffee that was on the table.
"Th--thank you," Destiny said a bit nervously as she was trying to take all of this in.
"It's your favorite kind, I know, glad you could join us my name Is Theresa the originator of this Alliance, I would go in detail but right now, we a have serious matter at hand, and you have been handpicked. At the age of only 15th my records show that you are already halfway into high school, you have the typical emotions of a teenager but your intellect and strong will is amazing." Theresa Said
"Why did we meet in a place like this?" Destiny asked sipping her coffee; all the other members grabbed a chair to sit while Theresa Stood and talked.
"This house is abandoned but I own it, my parents are gave it to me to use as I see fit, and here is where I hold meeting for the alliance so that we can stay out of the light. I need to make this quick, 30days ago an email went viral over the Kingsley High school, but many teachers don't know about it yet, it was sent only to students, and I took upon myself to act, I'm a college student so I'm unaffected but I'm here to help" Theresa said as she pulled a piece of paper from her pocket the email printed out she handed it to jade to read.
"Attention all students, as of now and until as long as we see fit, you will be under our control, watch your mouth, and just do as we say, we been among you for quite some time, and we know a lot about you, your secrets that you didn't want anyone to know, we are using as blackmail, everyone is to pay us 5bucks a week to drop it off at the address stated at the bottom, noncompliance will result in your secrets being revealed, 5bucks shouldn't be too much but you should be grateful, or we will make an example of you like 3 students who have been expelled or dropped out in the last week. Teachers have no idea and your friends who you thought you could trust could very well be one of us. Just comply and no one will get hurt. Try and show this email to an authority figure and we will find out and you will be student number 4. We have our reasons, but that's nothing you need to worry about. That is all. Good day."
"Seems like a bad prank, are they invisible and see everyone at any given moment? Could they-
Theresa interrupted her, "Your skepticism is valid, but we don't know their methods at this point, but 3 students are no longer at the school in a weeks' time, one of those students were one of our members, we can't contact them anymore, we tried email, cell, and we have no clue where they are now. Destiny, these people are elite thinkers and with their emotional blackmail they can get people to do almost anything."
"So they are master manipulators? But how much do they know and have access to can they really make me do something I didn't want to?" Destiny said
"Destiny, let's say someone told your dad that you were doing drugs and that you ran away, what would your dad do? What would happen to your brother, when your dad sells all your stuff and moves and you can no longer protect your little brother, all of this could happen with some simple piece of false information about you." Drago said
"We could tell a teacher, but fear paralyzes people to do that. It's not just students leaving the school, Friendships and relationships started going haywire betraying each other distrust is of the norm now, and from unknown of the origins chaos has swept over Kingsley high, fights, break-ups, people in detention, and being expelled or leaving. it's practically an emotional warzone, or like a storm that's just messing things up leaving strong bonds broken and friends scattered like straws." Sophia Said
"You just joined the school and haven't made friends that is why we were the first ones to contact you, they will most likely target you, possibly people will try to befriend you, trying to be your pal and get a secret out of you, you have an edge over them being aware of this already" Theresa said.
"This group, they didn't give themselves a name but we are the C.A.T. Collective Alliance Team, I cannot give you my real name just yet but you can call me Barbie and the guy next to me Ken, you feel free to change our names at any time. Barbie said with a smile
"So will you help us?" All the members asked
Debate Round No. 2


“Umm...” I said. I was still pretty pissed that they had scared the wits out of me, but I saw their kind faces. All 5 of them, they were going through what I was going through. They knew me, I could trust them. I saw the hurt behind their smiles.

“Of course I’ll join!” I said. They all broke out clapping again and Theresa gave me that big smile of hers.

“Excellent!” she said. “Now, let’s all go down to the cellar, we have something to show you!” Barbie and Ken helped me up to my feet.

“I can manage,” I said to them, smiling faintly.

“We’re here to help you, Destiny. Let us help you.” They said.

“Ummm... OK,” I said.

“Let me hold your coffee for you Destiny,” Barbie said. She grasped the coffee and wrenched it from my hand. She stared at me blankly, smiling. I walked ahead to talk to Jade.

“Hey, Jade. Is something wrong with Barbie and Ken?”

“No, no. They were assigned by Theresa to help you.” She said to me calmly as we descended the stairs.

“Help me? What, I can’t hold my coffee by myself?”

Jade laughed. “I know you can hold it, but it is a great honour for them.”

“A honour?”

“You’ll soon see. Your destiny is about to be fulfilled, Destiny.” Barbie and Ken burst out in laughter simultaneously. I turned and shot a dirty look at them and they silenced instantly.

What is going on here? I thought to myself. A honour? What are they talking about.

Theresa fumbled with a light switch. We all stood in the darkness, quietly waiting. The lights suddenly blazed to life. I squinted my eyes.

“Look children, let this serve as a reminder.” Theresa said, gesturing to the wall at the end of the cellar. “Ken, pull down the tarp.” Ken lumbered forth and grabbed the wall and grabbed a highly concealed cloth. I gasped as he ripped the cloth off of the wall. Shackles and torture instruments lay, strapped to the wall.

My vision swayed. I swooned and almost collapsed.

“Is that a, is that...”

“Yes, Destiny. Unfortunately Christine decided to back out of our little organization. Let her tiny brain serve as a reminder of the penalty for treason.” In the middle of the wall a skull was mounted. That’s when I fainted.

“Is she going to be ok?”

“At least she didn’t vomit; the smell of the dried blood usually gets to the new initiates.”

“She’s coming round!”

I groaned and shook my head. My head felt like it had been cleaved open by an axe. I looked around. Theresa and Jade, Ken, Barbie, Drago and the unnamed one were gazing down at me transfixed.

“I’m sorry that it had to come to that, but I needed to show you the punishment for disobeying.” Theresa extended out her hand. I smacked it away.

“You monster!” I shrieked. “This has to be another sick joke, this has to be.”

“It isn’t. I’m sorry.”

I screamed again. I scrambled to my feet and dashed to the door. Before I even made it two steps Ken grabbed me and threw me back onto the sofa.

“Nobody goes anywhere. You have joined the alliance. You can’t back out now.” He said in a deep, gruff voice.

“This has to be a mistake!” I shouted.

“No mistake,” Theresa said calmly. “Betray us, and Johnny will die.” I gasped and looked to the wall. The picture of Johnny was still there.

“Yes, now you realize. We have followed Johnny and your father for weeks now. We know where they are at this moment. Go ahead, leave. I’ll be sure to mail you a finger.”

I sobbed with fear.

“No!” I shouted! “I’ll do what you want!”

Theresa smiled at me. “Yes, I suppose you will. Come, to the strategy room.”

Ken grabbed me roughly by the shoulders and dragged me through the house.

“Let me go!” I shouted, kicking at him. The behemoth of a guy didn’t feel a thing and kept dragging me like I was a doll. He plopped me down in a chair and stood behind me, watching Theresa as she strode around the room.

She went up to the cupboard and grabbed a scroll of paper. She unfurled it and lay it flat on the table.

“Now, Destiny. I know your father is harming you and your brother. I know all about you. I also can help you. All you need to do for the Alliance is bring this package, here.” As she spoke she pointed out the location marked on the map.

I stared at the map.

“What’s in the package?” Theresa laughed.

“Well, I can’t tell you that, can I dear? All you need to do is make sure you put the package through the mail slot. We will know if you open the package, so don’t you even try. If you succeed, we will fix your problems with your father.”

Despite the horrors that were in the cellar, I felt a ray of hope. I looked into Theresa’s eyes.

“You will? How?”

“We’ll talk to him. Then we’ll make sure he stops hurting you and your brother.”

“Alright,” I said shakily as I got to my feet.

“Remember dearest, if you open the package, deviate from the path, or do anything we don’t like...” Theresa trailed off, leaving her threat hanging in the air.

“I know,” I said.

Theresa smiled at me.

I turned and walked out the door, the package in my backpack.

What will Destiny do now?



Destiny Stepped outside of the house getting ready to deliver the package, she thought to herself, "I'm glad I'm being helped but I don't like the fact that they operate on fear, I didn't expect that, I thought they were better than that, but oh well, if they are going to use me, then I will use them." As she began to proceed she noticed her bike was gone, she went back inside.
"Umm, you guys love pulling jokes don't you? You expect me to walk? It would take me days to get there, whatever you guys are on, I want some." Destiny said with her arms folded.
"Sophia" Theresa said smiled and motioning her towards destiny giving Sophia the map.
"haha, I will come with you" Sophia said as they waved their goodbyes to everyone as they walked out the door. Destiny heard keys jingling as she looked to her left she saw Sophia with the keys to a Dodge Charger. Sophia pointed to the left and there was the car sitting there, in shiny black and red color its blinding beauty took Destiny by surprise."
"See, you may not have liked what you seen back there but we are here to take care of you." Sophia said
"Wow this is nice, although these things suck on gas, and I don't drive," Destiny chuckled.
Sophia smiled; they hopped in the car and started on their way. It was silence for a short while Destiny felt at ease and then she spoke.
"So have you guys done anything yet? Like went on the offensive against these people? Destiny Said
"We have, me and jade just got promoted within the group, Drago is fishy but he is useful with skills in technology. Barbie and Ken have been with Theresa since the beginning they are the protectors of the group, at this point we don't suspect any one of us to be a spy they would have found out by now, we only wanted 7members so you were the last one which is why we put you such tests to make sure we wasn't infiltrated by the other group." Sophia said
"Did you kill someone? To get promoted?" Destiny looked at Sophia concerned about her answer
Sophia didn't answer right away she was paying attention to the road when a black car jet in front of her from the side and she maneuvered to get out of the way.
"This is a perfect example, people do not always think about their actions, especially when they are in a hurry, once people's emotions are stirred up they tend to lack judgment, once someone is aware of this they can capitalize on this fact, getting people to do things they normally would not do if they were mentally sober so to speak."
"What do you mean,?" Destiny asked
"We call the other group D.O.G. Dangerous Opposing Group, they never gave a name so we gave them one, they are aware of the way people's minds work, the edge they have is they lack heart, they won't be afraid to get what they want, so if pretending to be nice long enough to gain your trust was what they needed to obtain their goal, they will do it. What I'm saying is when people are scared, worried, frustrated when they are not themselves, people who can look at them objectively can smoothly con their way into their minds and trick them into believing something that is not true or half true and forcing them to act upon false information. This is how the school got turned into chaos, especially for high school students they are in a stage in their life of trying to get to know themselves and gaining positive feedback from peers, so when they lack judgment on top of lacking maturity and development it only makes them an easier target."
‘I'm only 15 how do I know I won't have my brain penetrated and manipulated by these people, you seem my reactions back there, me screaming, yelling, falling, panicking, I'm afraid if they know that aspect of me I'm done for." Destiny sounded worried
"We subjected you to such harsh matters so you can be aware of your weakness, that's all it is, a weakness can be strengthened, and even if it's not strengthened, it can be tactfully hidden. Blood, sharp objects, skulls, dark places, eerie environments are your flaws, your strengths is the motivation for your brother, your intellectual inquisitive nature, also you are aware of D.O.G. tactics beforehand and have us as back up. You will manage trust me." Sophia said.
"Cool thanks, so how many people are in the D.O.G.?" Destiny asked
"They had a total of 10members we reduced their numbers to 4, and then me and jade took out two recently, so there is only two left, we been dealing with them for 3 years they bounce from school to school, so we have to track down new students unaffected by their pathetic "Gain-trust-get your secret" methods and find one suitable to help us oppose them we have been successful so far" Sophia Said
"Well only two left we are almost done then right?" Destiny questioned
"Yea but these last two are peculiar, in our group our ages are from 15, you being the youngest up to 26, Theresa being the oldest. In their group most of their members have been under 18 they were probably paid to be in the group, these last two seem to operate differently they could be older than all of us and so we may not understand their behavior, teenagers are far easier to read." Sophia said
"But what is stopping them from just adding more people to their group? Destiny asked
"Good question, for some reason they have not, or they have and we haven't detected them, but we think they are losing morale, the members they had were with them from the beginning, they have trouble recruiting people to join something so cruel, and plus their initial 10 were most likely were all buddies, who came up with this dumb idea. So to invite anyone outside of that, they were too afraid of the opportunity for a spy, so we assumed they never wanted to recruit more, and with only two left they rely on each other now instead of inviting strangers." Sophia said as she looked at the map. "Ten minutes away."
"So how do you get rid of them I'm still confused on that part." Destiny said.
"Okay we are almost there I won't tell you how we got rid of each and every one of them but because we don't have time, but I will tell you what we did to the last two. Damien was one of the top members, he had no special skills really, he was just a smooth talker, and all the girls wanted him. He would make girls think they were is number one, when he seemed to ignore other girls and then turn to another girl and pay attention to them, they took that as a clue he had been specially picked them. The girls he did ignore, he secretly contacted saying they couldn't be seen in public. About 20 girls at his disposal he recorded on paper all their secrets about other guys, students and teachers. He then had complete control of them, the D.O.G. email said 5bucks a week, for the 20girls they got separate emails detailing their secrets, threatening to release them and so for them the amount they had to pay was increased to 50bucks a week. Knowing some wouldn't be able to make it, many girls dropped out of school, performed sexual acts with guys they didn't like just to pay the fee, it was getting out of hand, teachers and parents didn't understand their behavior and the girls were too scared to tell because of their secrets." Sophia looked at Destiny to see if she had any comments
"Hmph, Typical jock, he is lame, so what did jade do?" Destiny said
"haha it was simple, play them at their own game, find out their secret and use it against them, of course, this guy was careful, all his stories girls asked about he made it up, but Jade found out Damien had a little brother name Jason in elementary school, she got her little brother to talk to Jason, and handed him an adult magazine to give to Jason, and as a kid he was mesmerized by such images so Jason put it in his book bag, unaware of the note in it saying "Have fun little bro, it's for your pleasure!" When Jason got home his mom went to take out Jason's lunch in his book bag and found the magazine and note. Damien's Mom pulled Damien from the school immediately."
"Ok,Jades Awesome, and what did you do Sophia?"
Debate Round No. 3


Sophia looked at me.

“The last guy was a guy named Jonathan. All muscle, no brains.”

“So what did you do to him?”

“Well, he was giving us a little more trouble than Damien. We spent months trying to neutralize him, yet we had no way to do it. That’s when Theresa gave me the answer.”

“So what did you do?? Don’t keep me in the dark, tell me!”

“We killed him.”

The rest of the way we drove in silence.

When we reached the house, Sophia handed me the package.

“All right Destiny, we’ve been following this guy for weeks. We think he’ll join up, so what I want you to do, is just go, knock on the door, put the package on the porch, and run back to the car. I’ll keep the engine running so we can make a quick getaway.”

“All right, but what’s in the package?”

“If you care about Johnny, you don’t want to know.”

Destiny opened the passenger seat and stepped out of the car.

“You guys will take care of my dad, right? Make sure he never hurts us again and all that?”

“Of course, now deliver the package.”

Destiny ran up to the house. It was a small bungalow with a dark blue paint job. It had a garden that was cared for well and a winding yellow brick road up to the door. The porch had a rocking chair that still creaked in the wind. She ran up and gently laid the moist package on the doorstep. She rang the bell and sprinted down the steps down to car. Sophia floored it, and as we pulled away they heard a woman shriek with terror.

Sophia drove like a mad-woman, swerving and lurching. She drove non-stop for 10 minutes, then pulled into an abandoned parking lot.

“Come on, we gotta switch cars.” She ran out of the car and jumped into a Ford Chevy right next to our car.

“Why?” Destiny asked as she jumped into the passenger seat.

“The police will be looking for us.” Sophia pulled the keys out from under the floor mat and started the car. She drove us all the way back to Theresa’s house.

“Get out, I need to go abandon this car far away from this house.”

“But, why would the police be...”

“GET OUT NOW! We don’t have time to waste!” Sophia shoved her out of the car and drove off, this time obeying traffic laws. Destiny stumbled up to the door and shoved it open. Everyone was gathered around the radio.


“SHHH!!” everyone shouted at her in unison.

The radio’s warbled voice echoed out into Destiny’s ears.

“THIS JUST IN! Another gruesome murder has been committed as someone has appeared to have mailed a severed head to an address within our city. Attached to the head was a note saying: “We can help.” This enigmatic message was signed with the a picture of a cat. This is not the first time this “cat group” has struck. The police have unearthed skeletons with the cat symbol stamped onto the skulls of the victims. Whether the victim knew the recipient is being investigated.”

Theresa turned and smiled at Destiny.

“Good work Destiny. Your father will never bother you again.”

What will Destiny do?



squirtdonthurt forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 4


Extend arguments.


"Are you afraid of heights little bro?" Destiny asked smiling at him patting him on the head
"Not really, but I do get scared when I look out the window" Joshua looked to the right over his shoulder and out the plane window, then gazed back at his sister sitting next to him.

"Its ‘okay bro, I used to be afraid of the Farris wheel, but yet love roller coasters, not sure I understood that myself." Destiny chuckled as a gazed slightly switched from her brother to the flight attendant walking down the aisle.
"Here you go M'am, the meals for the two of you" The attendant placed the hot plates on their already open tables in front of Destiny and Johnny.
"Anything else I can help you with?" The attendant asked
"No we are fine for now, thank you" Destny looked up at attendant and smiled
"So tell me the rest of the story sis, what happened after that incident?" Joshua questioned
"Ah, so where did I leave off? Ah, Yes. Well cant chat long we will be in our destination shortly.

So after we got back to Theresa's place we heard on the radio of the killing, we thought Dad was out having sex with multiple women again, but in fact he was dead. It truly is a tragedy, although none of us were too close to him so it didn't affect us as much as it would have but it still took a toll on me, knowing they way he was, I hated that he acted the way he did it is always buried with me. When we all finished listening to the radio I that was when I made the phone call, they asked who I was calling, I told them I was calling you, saying I was relieved and happy that dad was gone but I wasn't, I wouldn't want anyone to be killed in such a manner, I was calling the cops, telling them to come to the address where I was, while pretending to talk to you and talk to the cops at the same time.

"Hotfield Police Department" Deputy Gunner said
"Hey guess what I got good news!" Destiny said over the phone in an excited manner, all the C.A.T. members looked at destiny, some with blank stares, some with smiles.
"What is the nature of this call? Deputy Gunner Said
"They finally Got rid of dad!, please meet me at 3113 Romine street, can you help me throw a party?!
"Understood, say no more" Deputy Gunner said closing the call.
"So is it okay guys for my brother come over to celebrate with me?" Destiny said with a big smile on her face
"Of course he is welcome, why don't we order pizza, and whose turn is it to pay?" Theresa said
"Why don't we make the newbie pay this time? Drago said joking"
I'm not paying, you guys can make sure you order a lot, because you guys going to pay a big price! Destiny chuckled, yet the group looked at the suspiciously, but with no reason to suspect her they bypassed it.
"Fine I will do it," jade said, "its the 4th dang time, yall think im made of money or something"
"No pepperoni on mine please" Destiny said.

Jade place the order, the discussion began about how Theresa became a member and start the C.A.T.
"Well, there was a member of D.O.G. and they had the ability to read dreams to a certain extent, although her ability was greatly enhanced by the real stories she knew about people, she easily got people to do stuff they would have never done otherwise a very powerful technique, I simply got rid of her by pretending to be one of her clients, and recording it without her knowledge and handing the digital recorder into of the principal and she got busted and I sent another school"

"Nice one Theresa!" Detstny shouted. "
"Hey Destiny what you think about---
Bam Bam Bam Bam, Someone knocked loudly on the door
"it's the Police! Open up!
"What the……Destiny you set us up!" Sophia said, as all the members seem to be running around trying to find a quiet place to hide.

Destiny looked at her bro and told him the last part of the story" The police break in with back up and One by one every 2weeks they would found the ones that had excaped the house, but they all were apphrended. I had nothing left to say to them, I hated that they used me and lied to me, there was no opposing group come to find out they were the ones who are the D.O.G. the email was really from them, they recruited me to do their dirty work, so I make sure I cleaned it right up." They were good I tell you that, they used cognative dissonance to control people. I hope one day they learn their lesson they should Know justice will always reign supreme and only one truth remains.
Destiny and Johnny arrive at their destination in another state to get await from all the drama and also to visit, their Mom they haven't seen in a very long time they all embrace in a hug and promised to never leave her side ever again.
Debate Round No. 5
8 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 8 records.
Posted by squirtdonthurt 4 years ago
thanks i do appreciate comments TUF wish more people could do that. Also i was runnng on so much little sleep its crazy, had a hectic week. all i could do was the best i could
Posted by squirtdonthurt 4 years ago
ran out of time last round ad not sure if i can even make this next rounsuper tight this week : /
Posted by ishallannoyyo 4 years ago
I'm going on vacation in 1 day for a couple weeks, can we like both forfeit and maintain a tie?

Sorry for the inconveniance.
Posted by TUF 4 years ago
I hope no one takes me critique too harshly, for your ages, I really think both of you have done a great job, and hope you do more of these to help increase your skill.

If I were to vote, as of right now I would vote as follows:

Conduct: Con, because of pro derailed the story.
Spelling/Grammar: Pro, though pro's wasn't a whole lot better.
Most convincing arguments: Con, for dodging a few loopholes and trying his best to keep the story on topic.
Sources: Con. She was really descriptive and supports her writing with a good source of understanding and porbability despite the umph that is missing from the plot.

Good job to both writers for the work done so far. Please post this on my profile when it has concluded.
Posted by TUF 4 years ago
Alright, I now I am 2 and a half rounds early, but I am going to post my opinion so far of this debate.

I will Criticize both writers.


I really liked your opening idea with the young girl trying to find safety with herself and her brother, by making a conscious effort to rid herself of that life.
Con did throw some big loopholes at you, and eventually the need to change the story was almost neccesary beyond a doubt. I think they way you continued it in round 2 was great though, and wish you wold have figured out some more ways to do this in round 3 as well, rather than just conceding and allowing Con to destroy the storyline. You have a great vocabulary, but I think my biggest advice to you would be to re-read each of your responses before posting them, as I noticed quite a few grammar mistakes (however I still understood vastly what you meant).


It's obvious that you had a completely different Idea than the con, of where you wanted to go with this story. Now I am going to say that I really did think your writings were good. They were descriptive, intense, and over all well written. However, if I were to vote on this debate, I would have to give the conduct con. You completely derailed where he was going with the story several times. The first time I figured it would be okay, as you didn't mess it up that bad, but then with your second response, you made the source of safety some cruel, evil, horrific source instead, you made it really unfair for the con. Again, I think your writing is really good, however, I feel that it belongs in more of an action/horror writing passage, rather than where the Con was obviously trying to go with this.

All in all I don't think I would read this if this were a book I found in the library. The concept of teenagers ruthlessly killing, and holding any mental capabilities of doing what is proposed in this story seems proposterous. However, I do recognize that the authors here are in hig
Posted by squirtdonthurt 4 years ago
ran out of space on last response so couldnt phrase it the way i wanted it to be at the end so that is why it seem so abrupt.
Posted by squirtdonthurt 4 years ago
the names got confusing but here is the list, jade drago sophia, theresa barbie and ken, total of 7 when we include Destiny. since i said you can change their name barie and Ken, since in the story that is not their real names, i did that because if they wanted to i left that open so you could rename them and get the chance to name some characters as well
Posted by squirtdonthurt 4 years ago
i appreciate this debate i will try to respond in tie and its nice to have another round with you my friend : )
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by Axiom 4 years ago
Agreed with before the debate:--Vote Checkmark0 points
Agreed with after the debate:--Vote Checkmark0 points
Who had better conduct:Vote Checkmark--1 point
Had better spelling and grammar:--Vote Checkmark1 point
Made more convincing arguments:--Vote Checkmark3 points
Used the most reliable sources:--Vote Checkmark2 points
Total points awarded:10 
Reasons for voting decision: Both put a lot of work in. Interesting writing. For the FF though I have to give one point of conduct to Pro.