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Beginner
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negotiator
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Story-Writing Debate

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It's a Tie!
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 8/22/2013 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 533 times Debate No: 36920
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (9)
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Beginner

Con

I've been exposed to some of these story-writing debates and have read several. I'm just itching to do one of my own, and, well, here it is!

Voting will be based on the criteria of creativity, grammar and captivation (how interesting each writer's narrative appears).

The structure will be of one story written by two people (me and the opposition). I will write a section... the opposition will continue the story based on what I have written, vice verse, so on and so forth until the final round.

My opponent can either start the story immediately (leaving the last round blank for fairness) or have me start the story and do the honors of writing up the ending.
Please don't forfeit and have fun! :)
negotiator

Pro

-This is a true story-

It was a hot afternoon, the day when I decided to play soccer with my friend, Samy and his brother Taib. As we were playing at the park we decided to split up because I needed to use the bathroom "as soon as possible." When, I reached the path leading to my house, I noticed the neighbor"s dog which was eyeing me behind the fence. I didn"t know much about this dog because my neighbor bought it only a few days ago. I only knew that the dog"s name was Jaspar, and inferred that it hasn"t taken its vaccine shots yet. Then, me an unwise 10-year-old kid decided to shove my hand through the neighbor"s fence just to pat the newly-bought dog. But when my index finger touched Jaspar"s nose, Jaspar momentarily bit through my index finger, and then he started barking at me boisterously. After that, I rapidly forced my hand out of the fence. Then, I understood that I was bitten by an infected dog.
"Ouccchhh!" I shrieked, "How could you do this to me, you stupid dog!" I exclaimed. When I started smelling the irony aroma of my blood that was flowing out of my finger, I quickly hurried home to inform my nanny about this conflagration that occurred. When, I opened the door that led into my house I roared,
"Natasha, I"ve been bitten by the neighbor"s dog. What should I do?!"
"Oh dear, I hope it had vaccine shots" She wondered worryingly.
"I better dial you mother too" she concluded.
She picked up the home phone, and then dialed my mother"s cellar phone number. When my mother answered, my nanny told her the whole account that has happened to me, so because of that my mother responded loudly and furiously. I wasn"t able classify her words, but I knew that she"ll drive me to the hospital when she reaches my house. When my mother arrived at the front porch of my house she quickly rushed me to her automobile and afterwards, she drove me to the nearby hospital. As we entered the hospital my mom signed me up for an appointment with the doctor. When I was called up to see the doctor, my mom unexpectedly hit the back of my head and then, said "You should"ve known better not to touch that grievous dog." As I stepped inside the doctor"s office I smelled a lot of blood and medicine such as aspirin, and when I responded to those smells I already knew that this was a horrific place to be at. As I was walking closer to the doctor he asked,
""Little boy the dog bit am I right?"
"Yes" I answered
"Do you know if the dog had vaccine shots yet?"
"Ummmm"" I was confused at this moment. But then, my mom answered.
"I know this dog like my five finger, and I certainty do know that this dog hasn"t taken its shots yet."
The doctor then took out a pen out of his chemise and wrote something on a piece of paper that he grabbed from his desk. After, he finished writing he concluded,
"Your son was bitten by an infected dog who gave him syndromes that will soon allow him to turn into a schizoid."
"What do I do know doctor!" my mother cried.
"Well, according to what I wrote on this paper. Your son will be coming here daily until he receives four injections, these injections will fight the syndromes and cure your son. And also your son will as well include a specific medicine that he too should drink daily" said the doctor.
"How does the medicine taste like?" I asked troublingly
"It has the taste of a sweet and sour lemon. Don"t worry it won"t hurt. But the injections will" the doctor answered happily.
As we headed back to the car I thought "wow. Look what you got yourself into you imbecile" as we were driving home my mother concluded "Sam every day after school you should hurry home so I could take you to the hospital, okay?" I didn"t respond to that question at all. After, the four days of drinking lemon flavored medicine which I hated because it was really sour, and taking painful shots went by. Our neighbor, who owned the dog, and who was three years older than I was, wanted to assault me, the reason for why he wanted to do that is because he thought that I was conspiring something against his dog, he perhaps assumed that I wanted to kill it, "now that thought should"ve been an imprudent thought." Also, he won the fight with a broken nose that I gave him, and at the end he commanded, "don"t touch my dog ever again you idiot." After that, I realized that because of some bite my mother wasted a lot of money on those injections, and my neighbor wasted his thumps on me because I touched his dog and in due course got bitten by it.
Because of this event, my life changed immensely. You see because of this bite I would"ve never learned my lesson to not play with any dog I see on the street, or any place else. I got smarter in life; I knew that people get in trouble because of such small things, for example people who own dogs that manage to bite other people, especially kids. These owners get sued as by law for using their dogs as assaulters, and I believe that this is why my neighbor beaten me, because he was afraid that my parents would"ve sued his parents for disobeying this law that I stated. If I haven"t been bitten by the dog I would"ve stayed an unwise 10-year-old kid shoving my hands through fences just to pat dogs and not think about the horrible consequences. Now I also realize that because of small things people could get into awful penalties, such as my neighbor"s parents. Also, if I had never been bitten by that dog I would"ve never been able to find the urge for stand up for myself, because once this dog bitten me an urge woken up in me, and it continues to wake up each time somebody wants to hurt. Before, I"ve been bitten by the dog, I was always afraid to stand up for myself I was always frightened, but when my neighbor fought with me, I at least managed to break his nose, but still he accomplished beaten me up until I ran out of energy and fell on the ground. I normally contemplate that it was destiny for me to be bitten by his dog, it was meant to happen to me so the urge for protecting myself would"ve awaken inside of me, and the fight with my neighbor was also meant to happen so my awakening urge of protection could be tested out. I"m grateful that this event happened to be a part of my life, because if it would"ve never happened to me, I still would"ve been a foolish/ and weak child.
Debate Round No. 1
Beginner

Con

If there was anything I learned about people, it was they bit at each other much more painfully and much more frequently than any other organisms. One thing my mother always told me was 'to avoid those who always want but never give (in her words). These words ever ring more true to me now. Despite my mother's constant iteration of wordly advice, I could never bring myself to actually listen to them. Maybe it was due to the religion she practiced with such utter devotion, me being an atheist and all, or maybe it was because of her easily-swayed personality. Take a recent occurrence for example. A salesman appeared at our door not long ago, and persuaded my mother to spend $200 on a vacuum cleaner. "This is the best vacuum cleaner in the world, with the strongest suction and greatest sustainability ever." was stickered onto it's front. I had watched, defeated, as my mother patiently lobbed the spiteful suction machine up to our storage room and placed it among the dozens of other useless suction machines. We were a wealthy family, and such wasteful expenditures were mostly manageable, speaking in economic terms of course (not that any of that matters anymore). My father adorable her naivette, and indulged in almost all of her little fancies. They were two lovers living in an entirely different world from the rest. Their affection to me was always superficial. I was the one obstruction for which they were legally obligated in every way. It wasn't always this way. I was once a cute little baby. My dad loved me until I was 7-8 years old. I wasn't cute anymore.My mother hated me until I had reached about 9 years of age. I believe it was my decreasing status as an obligation and an increasing status as a sensible girl with good academic scores of which my mother could brag to her little clique of friends that gradually caused this change. By the time I was 18, my father was ready to boot me into the world, "to give you a sense of what life really is like" he'd said. My mother cried as she waved goodbye to me from the gates of the family enclosure. I never saw her again.

It was no surprise that they didn't survive.

I was told that they were the first elected to be evicted from the family premises. Thus went the last vestiges of the Pioym family empire. I doubt they lasted more than a week. I was barely able to get by.. I was both capable and more than willing to do anything necessary to survive. I was very proud of myself. It was pride, that in both my judgment and my experience, that propelled me..

I am strong. I plunged out into the weather. It was time to go back. There's nothing more for me to do here.

After having walked nearly 6 miles, I felt cold pellets drill into my face. It was raining. It was always raining. The grey blanket spread across the skies drizzled endlessly. Innumberable missiles, cold and hard, spat onto our skins, penetrating our clothes, and into the floor. Damn the rain. We huddled en masse toward the many accomodating overhangs within the city. Somewhere, a constant pattering of drops dripping noisily onto a reverbrating surface pounded into my ear.


Ever since they stuck me here, I've had to deal with this horrible weather. They had me trapped. More people shuffled into the area. I couldn't get out. Didn't they have anything better to do? Several matches were lit and the area became permeated with nauseating fumes. This was just perfect.


I never thought I'd ever had the desire to be back in that detestable hole in which I slept, but I did so now. To my right a man could be heard coughing, spraying his vile insides into the environs. It was utterly disgusting. A cacophony of coughs filled the air. One following the other. A man began coughing again. He stopped. Another man started coughing. A woman coughed, hacking her throat into pieces. Someone sneezed. A-choo!

I couldn't do it anymore. I began pushing my way through the dense, filthy crowd, barely muttering my "excuse-me's".

"Stinkin' animal." said a man as I pushed him aside. Another obstacle had his coughing interrupted as I shoved him out of my way.

"Fvckin' retard," "Hey girl, what's yo numbah?!" "Where're your manners?"

and all manners of protest trailed after me as I finally pushed my way out of the filthy den.

Most of them said nothing.

The rain pummeled me immediately, drenching me within seconds.

Better the cold hard rain than the company of infested rats.


I began trudging home accompanied by the constant squishing of my waterlogged socks. I was walking in a pair of puddles, my feet regretting every moment of my refusal to accept shelter, albeit with a horde of rats.


After what seemed to be an endless interval of meaningless struggle, I finally reached the square in which my den was located. I could no longer feel the peltering rain as I unlocked the small portal and shuffled into the shelter I had known for the past eight months.


I shook off my waterlogged shoes, peeled off my soaked garments and collapsed onto the makeshift mattress. Maybe I should leave. He had left barely a week after he got here, not even considering for one moment the potential of comfort and society this place provided. It's almost as if we were all dogs behind fences, ready to bite at him at any moment. The only person he trusted was himself.

I fell asleep thinking about death



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



It's been 6 months since I've left Haven. It was doomed to fall anyway. The virus had a way of materializing in areas of condensed human populations. One day everyone would be sane, the next day all would wake up rabidly insane.. except for the few who don't. It's as if everyone were collectively and simultaneously zapped by evil supernatural forces. Greenaet had stayed. The chances of the virus appearing within a community increases with an increasing population. There were 3 possible stages of the virus. No one escaped being exposed to the virus. One stage, the one that affects 99% of the human population, is immediate consumption. The virus was the most unnatural thing that we, as human beings, have ever observed. There were no initial stages of panic, no 'apocalypse preparation', it just happened. One moment humanity was functioning normally. Most people would go to work and kids would go to school. The next moment, everyone was tearing at each other's throats.. all cognition ceased to exist. On the morning of January 1, 2014, about 99% of the human population became carnivorous beasts. What's left of the town after the intial infection and carnage moved to the large 50,000 acre plot of farmland that was owned by a local farming company. We built shelter there, and those with any type of agricultural expertise helped to set up a permanent base. We were a harmonious community, and allowed any passerby to set up permanent residence. Greenaet Pioym was one of these passerbys.


The second stage is one in which people carried latent strains of the mind-eating virus. My neighbor (the one who owned the dog that bit me at the age of 10) was one of these people. It happened about 3 years after the initial outbreak. We were later told from various sources that this sudden burst occurred everywhere. It was the second wave of the epidemic. There were several subsequent waves that have occurred over the course of the past ten years, but none matched the sheer magnitude of the first. The first wave destroyed almost everyone. The second and subsequent were much less far-reaching. The most accepted theory is that most, if not all, of the survivors are latent carriers. The second wave also hit us during the morning. I awoke to the sound of my neighbor's snarling. I had heard this sound before, and knew what was going on before I even saw him. By the end of the day, there were literally only 60 of us left. Most who weren't infected were hunted and eaten. The fields became swarmed with over a thousand infected. It was at this point that we knew we had to either clear out every single one of them (quite impossible, really) or leave. Some stayed and some left. Greenaet and I were one of those who left.The third stage is immunity. This stage is completely hypothetical, however, since there is no way to distinguish between the latents and the immune. The fact that each and every one of us are potentially latent time bombs is frankly quite terrifying. Many, including myself, opt to indulging in the possibility of being immune. There has, thus far, been no way to prove or disprove the theory.

Those affected by the virus (to be honest: we've so far only been assuming it's a virus) are cognizant to a degree. This means that they do survive. Many of these rabid units have coagulated into carnivorous herds. They've literally become animals. Luckily, with the general lack of resources, especially in the urban areas, most of these herds have eaten each other out of their ecosystem or died of starvation. Those who currently exist, who have survived and reproduced are the most dangerous ones. Yes, they reproduce. We once 'rescued' one of the infants of the infected. As the infant grew older, we found that it had no affinity for language. We also found that it definitely had an affinity for flesh after it made a poor attempt at eating my neighbor's dog. It was eventually released it into the wild. None of us had the will to kill it.

When we first arrived at Haven, the first thought I had was: What would it be like when the majority of the 70000 people living there had a sudden outbreak of the infection? I immediately knew that I had to leave. Large populations were not safe to be around. Greenaet disagreed.

Why I am going back to Haven is a complete mystery to me.
negotiator

Pro

negotiator forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 2
Beginner

Con

Beginner forfeited this round.
negotiator

Pro

negotiator forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 3
Beginner

Con

Beginner forfeited this round.
negotiator

Pro

negotiator forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 4
Beginner

Con

Beginner forfeited this round.
negotiator

Pro

negotiator forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 5
9 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 9 records.
Posted by Beginner 1 year ago
Beginner
I still remember this. I wrote out the scene in which the outbreak exploded in the city. Greenaet escapes by some secret passage, the guy (I named him in this part) gets there a bit too late, and my text editor crashes.
I miss that world. I even had a legit explanation for the secret passage (which I no longer remember). WHat a shame.
Posted by Shadowguynick 3 years ago
Shadowguynick
Still a better love story than twilight.
Posted by Beginner 3 years ago
Beginner
Yay, cheesy apocalypse love story!
Posted by Beginner 3 years ago
Beginner
Or not. :( I'm so depressed right now.
Posted by Beginner 3 years ago
Beginner
STARTING FROM SCRATCH, I"VE GOT THIS! nac
Posted by Beginner 3 years ago
Beginner
My internet just crashed and I just lost all motivation for this thing D: I was literally 9000 characters into the story when my internet wiped everything.
I have about 5 hours left and may or may not make attempts at finishing this, but losing hours of effort really is a motivation-killer :(
Posted by negotiator 3 years ago
negotiator
of course
Posted by Beginner 3 years ago
Beginner
Did you have an original manuscript? :)
Posted by negotiator 3 years ago
negotiator
This is a very cheesy story, i wrote it when i was ten.
No votes have been placed for this debate.