The Instigator
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The Contender
Con (against)
6 Points

THBT Love Marriages are better than Arranged Marriages.

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 6/1/2013 Category: Society
Updated: 4 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 11,005 times Debate No: 34416
Debate Rounds (3)
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Let me define the topic. Love marriages are a union of two individuals based upon mutual love, affection, commitment and attraction. Arranged marriages however, are the bride and groom are selected by a third party rather than by each other. Marriage is a union of two people often of different genders. Why I say that love marriages are better than arranged marriages is based on one simple four-letter word; Love. Love is the affection that you can only have for your partner or loved one whether it is temporary or permanent. Marriages should be based on love and not what a third party says. In arranged marriages, the two people are practically forced into marriage whereas, in love marriages, you get to fall in love first before getting married. The feeling that you get from falling in love is the best feeling in the world. That is why I propose this motion and wish all the best to my opponent.


This is my first debate, so comments and feedback are much appreciated.

One issue I'd like to get out of the way, as it may become a misunderstanding, is the difference between a forced and arranged marriage. An arranged marriage is usually between two families of similar status and is not a definite decision and the first meeting is used to see whether the two parties can get along, if new suitor will be found[1]. A forced marriage is where one party is forced to married to another usually without the consent of the forced participant.

While a love marriage may be built on a fire that cools over time, an arranged marriage grows hotter as physical attraction becomes less important and a deeper "spiritual" attraction develops instead, growing hotter over time. While defining love is something philosophers have tried to define for centuries, the textbook definition is "strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties", so love can grow over a period of time just as affection for something or someone can grow. Proof of this is India's, where arranged marriages are the norm, 1.1% divorce rate whereas the U.S., where the inverse is true, has a 50% divorce rate, proving that arranged marriages last longer[2]. While this may be partly due to the social stigma associated with divorce in India, if the marriage was completely intolerable there would be substantially more.

Since arranged marriages usually are between families that know each other, backgrounds and family values are usually the same, meaning less conflict can occur due to religion and other such differences.

My goal in this debate is not to prove that arranged marriages are better, but rather that they are simply different. One starts passionately, but has the ability to dull over time, and the other can grow more passionate over time.

Debate Round No. 1


If that is the case, then please explain what happened to Manjali Bhagwandas. She had been shown one photograph of the man with whom she was destined to spend the rest of her life. Prior to the wedding, all she knew about him was that he worked for an oil mill. When she was 18, Manjali"s parents selected a 21-year-old man named Rakesh to be her husband. As part of the wedding ceremony, the groom"s parents were given a dowry of a black-and-white television, jewelry, a cabinet, and utensils. Two months after the wedding, Manjali was preparing dinner and relaxing in her home. Rakesh arrived home in the late afternoon, showered and took a walk by himself. When he returned, he approached Manjali and kept hitting her repeatedly. That day marked the beginning of physical abuse throughout the marriage. Dr. Ramani Sundaresan, a New Delhi psychotherapist, says she finds more abuse in arranged marriages than in love marriages. Just because the divorce rates in India are lower than the divorce rate in America, doesn't mean that the women are not abused or raped. Most of the time, the women are too scared to run away from their husbands because it would be an insult to their family and will humiliate both families. But don't you see? Because of family ties and societal norms, running away would have put more pressure on the abused wives. That is why love marriages are better. We get to choose our own partners than our partners be chosen for us. Most times, parents are eluded by the wealth of the chosen partner than have their child's best intention at heart.

Taken from;


While the Pro stated "Most of the time, the women are too scared to run away from their husbands because it would be an insult to their family and will humiliate both families," in their example Manjali did leave her abusive husband[3]. Not only that, but she, with the help of her children, was able to return to the house of Rakesh and " are currently on speaking terms and living together as a family."

While domestic violence is common in India, it is not an arranged marriage only problem, It is more of a problem with traditional viewpoints towards women. While India has a domestic violence rate of 70%, Peru, where arranged marriages are the exception, has a domestic violence rate of 69%[4].The U.S. Department of State reports that in Peru "Women's organizations noted that alcohol abuse and traditional attitudes toward women aggravated the problems of rape and sexual abuse, particularly in rural areas[4]." Arranged marriages are not the cause of domestic violence and a recent study reveals"the cultural underpinnings to domestic violence, especially in India, where the study found a woman's risk of being beaten, kicked or hit rose along with her level of education," because "Educated women are aware of their rights[5]."

Though domestic violence is a problem in arranged marriages, it is more of a result of the cultural suppression of women in cultures that practice arranged marriage and even in those that do not.


(I would just like to state that these views are not my own, I'm simply supporting them in the debate)
Debate Round No. 2


nananana forfeited this round.


Hmm.... I guess that is it.

Arranged marriages can be just as affectionate as "love" marriages.

Thank you for the debate nananana.
Debate Round No. 3
No comments have been posted on this debate.
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by 1Devilsadvocate 4 years ago
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Total points awarded:06 
Reasons for voting decision: The instigator Pro, clearly had BOP, which he attempted to fulfill with one single anecdotal incident and an appeal to an authority, while Con brought statistics. & finally, pro F.F.