The Instigator
Gaming_Debater
Pro (for)
Losing
0 Points
The Contender
9spaceking
Con (against)
Winning
12 Points

TROLL DEBATE: I am the walrus

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 2 votes the winner is...
9spaceking
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 11/27/2014 Category: Funny
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 3,817 times Debate No: 65913
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (0)
Votes (2)

 

Gaming_Debater

Pro

Round one is for acceptance.

DEFINITIONS

"I am the walrus:" The claim made by me, Gaming_Debater. Not the Beatles song.

"I:" Gaming_Debater

"Walrus:"- a large gregarious marine mammal related to the eared seals, having two large downward-pointing tusks and found in the Arctic Ocean.

"the walrus:" Any old walrus.
9spaceking

Con

Opponent cannot be the walrus because walrus do not exist on debate.org.
Debate Round No. 1
Gaming_Debater

Pro

1. I live in a cold environment

If I don't then why is my Xbox frozen?




1b. And why is my cat white?





2. I made a debate about bacon and eggs being delicious

2a. I must have had just gotten done eating my breakfast.

2b. The arguments I used were clearly pulled out of my butt instead of doing research. I didn't have the patience to do research. I just wanted to advertise bacon and eggs.
9spaceking

Con

Walrus don't live in cold environments


Walrus also hate cats, so they have none, because they are related to DOGS, which is the archnemesis of cats.


2. Making debate about bacon and eggs
Walrus don't exactly like bacon and eggs, the typical American breakfast is WAY below them.


See? The Walrus agrees. And no, that's not ice. It's so hot that crystal is the only thing that can't melt, which is where they live--with the crystal ponies.

Gaming debaters can't get the privilege to go and hang out with these awesome crystal ponies. Thus, my opponent is not a walrus.
Debate Round No. 2
Gaming_Debater

Pro

Dogs don't hate cats, therefore walruses don't hate cats

This dog is clearly protecting the kitten.




It's embracing it like a baby. It is obviously trying to protect it. It must love cats, therefore walruses love cats.


Look at this dog. He's kissing a a cat.




2. Walruses aren't british! The only famous British walrus was John Lennon!



3a. "...that's not ice. It's so hot that crystal is the only thing that can't melt..."

Wrong. That's totally ice in that photo. If it's so hot that only diamond won't melt, like you said, then why isn't his monocle melting?

That background clearly contains either a midday North Canadian sky. I can tell because I would get lost attempting to navigate. North Canada's abundant snow and sunlight make it near impossible to navigate during the day, proving by your own logic that walruses live in cold environments.


3b."...[crystal] is where [walruses] live--with the crystal ponies."

Ponies aren't made of crystal! They are the embodiment of friendship! If they were made of crystal, they would embody stubbornness, which is a danger to what they embody: friendship.

Walruses would get bored hanging out with crystal ponies because crystal is inanimate.
9spaceking

Con

The dog protecting the kitten--it's crushing it with its weight, just fooling its owner
The kiss--that's rape

-Walruses aren't british? Then why are there so many?

[source: http://www.racerocks.ca...]

Why is his monocle not melting--because it's made of diamonds too

Getting lost--opponent contradicts himself. He clearly knows that he's stuck in North Canada, which means he knows where he is, which means he isn't lost. Also if you look at the picture below north canada is pretty darn hot; otherwise why would it be all colored orange, yellow, and red.


There's also this picture that proves Canada is so darn hot even in winter it's like summer

Source: http://www.ehatlas.ca...

Therefore if most walrus live in North Canada (which he had already conceded), then he cannot possibly be a walrus because walrus don't like living in cold environments, are originated from Britain, and hate cats.
Back to you.
Debate Round No. 3
Gaming_Debater

Pro

1. "The dog protecting the kitten--it's crushing it with its weight, just fooling its owner
The kiss--that's rape"

WRONG. If you look a bit closer, the cats bodily position and facial expression are both not that of a rape victim. The dog's eyes are also not that of a rapist. They're worried.


2. That's not why it's called British Colombia. They call it that because its shape is that of a woman's thigh and high heel-clad foot.




British women LOVE high heels. Why else would they put their flag on them?





"Why is his monocle not melting--because it's made of diamonds too"

Impossible. How does diamond get yellow?

And don't try a magic urine argument on me. The walrus would not need magic since it is surrounded by ice and plenty of water to drink.


3. "Opponent contradicts himself. He clearly knows that he's stuck in North Canada, which means he knows where he is, which means he isn't lost."

Actually, "lost" can be defined as "not knowing where you are or how to get to where you want to go : unable to find your way." (http://www.merriam-webster.com...)

I wouldn't be able to tell where I was going, so by definition I would indeed be lost, even though I knew I was in Canada.

North canada being all warm-colored- because if youre there then that's how you have to focus on staying: warm. Besides, your own maps show them with keys numbering no hotter than 15 degrees. How can you call that warm?
9spaceking

Con

The dog is worried? Oh please, his eyes are filled with demon-white in both (PIXELATED BY DEMON MAGIC!) pictures. Boom. Instant confirmation.

My opponent only confirms that Britain women live in Canada (as do walrus) because they live in the high-heel country yet wear Britain-flag shoes.

Opponent WOULD know where to go because his british lady friends can easily direct him around Canada. As for 15 degrees being warm, 15 degrees is really, REALLY warm. Summer is about six degrees on average.


If it's around 15 in WINTER IN CANADA...my god, that's SUPER WARM. Near burning level, perhaps.

IN CONCLUSION, whatever my opponent may think, he is not a walrus. Walrus do not exist on DDO. Vote for me.
Debate Round No. 4
No comments have been posted on this debate.
2 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Vote Placed by Squirrelnuts57 2 years ago
Squirrelnuts57
Gaming_Debater9spacekingTied
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Total points awarded:07 
Reasons for voting decision: Pro is not The Walrus, he is @Gaming_Debater
Vote Placed by lannan13 2 years ago
lannan13
Gaming_Debater9spacekingTied
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Total points awarded:05 
Reasons for voting decision: Sources to Con as it's a 2-1 count. This is a close debate, but I feel, as the contentions went, Con won Contentions 1 and 2 while Pro won the last one and due to the majority ruling of Con the resolution is thus negated.