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Teamwork Short Story

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 3/6/2014 Category: Entertainment
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 709 times Debate No: 48561
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Con and I will write a short story together, and hopefully have some fun while doing it. We each will write from the perspective of our own character, and the story will be based on their interactions with each other and the world around them. I will provide the opening story segment below, from the viewpoint of my character. Then, Con can write their section based on their character's point of view, whether it takes place in the past, present , or future. We will go like this, back and forth, writing a story together over the coming rounds. One small side note; our characters may not die/kill each other until the final round, for the sake of avoiding untimely demise/backstabbing. good luck to Con!

As far as voting goes -
If anyone feels possessed enough to vote on the story at the end, base your decision on who had the better writing style, of course.

I am excited to have another one of these debates!
If you have any questions about how this is supposed to work beyond what is written above, just let me know!

Opening Prompt

I always liked sitting up there, on the outer wall. From it, I could look out over the vast expanses of forest. I could feel the wind on my face, as it lovingly tousled my hair. I fell in love with that sensation; like the world was alive, moving, breathing, and that I was, at least for a moment, a part of it. I fell completely under the spell of that wall, and that's why I kept on going back up there. From down in the city streets, you couldn't feel the wind. You couldn't see the trees. The all-encompassing wall, towering over you in every direction, made sure of that.

It isn't that it was illegal to scale the outer wall; anybody could go up there, at any time of day. Yet, nobody ever went. For two reasons. The first reason was that nobody wanted to go in the first place. They had chosen long before to live in the city, and that meant that they remained inside. nobody wanted to be inconvenienced by such bothersome things as trees or wind. Trees died, and their leaves blew everywhere. The wind would blow, and swirl up dust and debris into your eyes. It was much easier altogether to simply remain down in the city streets, shielded from such needless worries.

The second reason, however, was much more serious.

While it wasn't illegal to visit the wall, or even sit on top of it, as I had often done, there was one unbreakable law regarding the outer wall.

Anybody who fell off the wall, anybody who went down to the forest floor, even once, could never return.

They were banished, for life, and people would go on with their lives as if you had never existed.

Nobody was willing to risk that. They all loved the city too much to chance losing it over something that was, in their eyes, so trivial.

I guess that was the big difference between me and the rest of the people in my city; they despised nature; I reveled in it.

Sometimes I thought about jumping over the wall. I really did. But every time I held myself back. I was, in spite of my passion, afraid. I loved to watch, but I was a kid from the city. I didn't know anything real about the forest. Just the way it looked and sounded and smelled from high atop the wall. I was never really a part of it; just an observer, too afraid to join in for more than an instant.

My family worried about me. They really did. My dad said I was always going to fall off one of these days, and he tried several times to stop me from going. It never worked for long. I just felt myself... Drawn... to the forest, to the wind, and the rain, to the sun, and the moon, and the stars, and everything else that was stifled and shut out by the city. I just felt so much more fulfilled watching the world outside than living the world inside.

Today, I was up on the wall again. I got up early, and stole out of the house, careful not to wake up my parents. They would make me stay home, and I didn't want to do that today. No, today I wanted to watch the sun rise. I wanted to see it as it peeked out over the treetops, all the way until it had entered, fully formed, into the sky.

I arrived early, when the sky was still grayish-black. I sat and thought about my town as I watched it get lighter; how we all stayed in here, how nobody who left could ever come back. The sky began to turn a vivid shade of pink, and I could tell that the sun was close at hand. Just as I had imagined, it rose, bleary-eyed, winking at me from over the tops of the trees. I swear, there isn't anything more beautiful.

The sunrise was glorious and majestic, just as I had hoped it would be. It was the perfect way to start the morning. I was, thus, unprepared for what happened.

As I got up, stretching, I was suddenly struck by a powerful gust of wind.

I lost my balance.

Everything froze.

Then, impossibly, unrelentingly, I fell, over the wall and away from everything I knew.

My name is Leo Delatorre, age 17, and in an instant, I became a part of the world that I had always adored.



Great to start


Curiosity is not a bad thing to me it is a gift. I've always loved the forest we as a people thrived amongst the nature and still to this day we have lived in peace. As a child we hear tales of where the land ends we were warned go too far suffer the consequences. I've never tried because someone once told me if you do the sun starts to fade and you hear strange noises the sweet songs of the birds begin to fade out either they are too scared to go any closer or the horrid noise is to great that birds songs are soon drowned out.

My father takes control of the lands from the fields of the fallen warriors to the mighty oceans with have yet to scale. That being all of the southern forests. I have yet to reach my 17th year but it is soon coming closer then will I be bargained off as nothing more than a peace treaty to the other kingdoms. I am the only girl in my family I have seven brothers in the end my father"s pride for his sons overshadowed my existence I have lived for years as if I was never really there all along. But if I choose to leave he would then realize because I'm a bargaining object of great importance to him. I wish to leave and then never return but my father"s soldier"s patrol to the ends of his vast kingdom. I want my own life and to make my own decisions but it's closing in to when that option would have been nothing more than a dream.

As I walked it had suddenly came to my attention of how dark it became the sweet tune of the birds no longer is being sung. The stories I heard are now more than apparent. Noises so horrible and almost of a violent nature are carried by the wind at that point my mind went blank my feet started to move as if I was no longer controlling them myself. As I got closer it became darker and darker and soon I began to notice the land does end not by shear nothingness but by . . . . . . . . . A wall. There was a huge thump I saw something yet I couldn't make out to what it was then it started to move I had become paralysed by fear itself whatever had fallen from the other side was alive.
Debate Round No. 1


I fell.

But that isn't the end of my story.


When I open my eyes, the sun is nearly overhead. My entire body aches, and I feel excruciating pain in my lower right leg. I try to sit up, but the effort hurts so much I collapse again on the ground, gasping. That's when it really hits me.

I fell off the wall.

I look up, and see the wall towering over me on my left side. Suddenly I choke up - My family - I can never see them again. I fell, and now I am trapped down here. I don't know how to survive in the forest, since we never learned about it in school - why would we need to? It wasn't like anybody was dumb enough to fall over the wall... except for me.

At the same time that I am worrying about this, I can't help but feel slightly elated. I pull my hand into a fist, appreciating the grass in my grip. Grass. It feels so wonderful; better than I ever imagined. It is like hair, soft and smooth, but much more elegant and beautiful. I want to reach out and touch the trees, feel their bark and leaves. I would be doing it right now, if I could move.

My leg starts to hurt even worse; the acute pain from a few moments ago is actually growing, turning into pulsing waves that run through my entire body.

I must have broken it, I think in a daze. I broke my leg, and I am admiring the grass and trees. A strangled, half-insane laugh escapes me; I must be in shock.

Straining, I manage to lift my head and look down at my leg. What I see doesn't make any sense.

My leg is in a splint. It isn't like the medical splints that the hospital used, made out of plastic and metal; no, this splint is made out of sturdy branches, and tied around my leg with ragged cloth. I wonder if I did it myself, while I was still half-unconscious. No, that couldn't be it. I can barely move now. Also, there is no way that that dirty piece of fabric came from my clothing; it is all near-new and unblemished.

Then how did this splint get here? Obviously, somebody else had to have put it on me, but nobody lives in the forest. I know from school that the only people who could possibly be down here are those who fall off the wall, and that hasn't happened for decades. I am trying to come up with a solution when I find myself dumbfounded for a second time. A girl comes running towards me through the trees. She is beautiful. And she is carrying sticks, strips of cloth... exactly like my splint.

She is so focused, she doesn't realize I am looking at her until she is about 5 feet away from me. Suddenly we make eye contact; As she recoils, she drops all the sticks and strips of cloth. Then, she backs away from me until we are about 10 feet apart. She looks at me, curious and apprehensive.

I don't know how this girl could be here; all that I know is without somebody's help I am probably going to die, just lying at the bottom of the wall. I clear my throat and speak, my voice trembling from the pain.

"Please, help me. My leg is broken. I can't move at all. Please, you gotta help me. I'm gonna die if you leave me."

She comes closer, and begins picking up the sticks. I can't hold my head up any more, so I let it fall back to the ground. She begins speaking to me.

"Did you come from that wall?"

"What do you mean did I come fro-"

She cuts me off. "Did you come from the wall?"

"Yes... I fell off of it" I reply hesitantly. She looks at me, shock on her face. I'm now suddenly apprehensive of this girl as well. It is obvious that neither of us know how on earth the other could possibly exist. But if she didn't know that I came from the wall, does that mean that she is from down here? The forest?

She is now doing something with the splint; I can feel it tightening even more, squeezing the break. I gasp in pain, and see spots in my vision. She speaks.

"At first I thought you were some kind of dark nightmare. It is forbidden to come to this part of the forest. I disobeyed the law, and I thought that you were a spirit sent to punish me. I ran, but when nothing chased me, I came back. I saw you there; Your leg was badly broken. I set it while you were unconscious. I'm making this splint for your leg as well. Once I'm done, we should be able to move you... But I don't know where you're going. You have to tell me where to take you."

"Thank you... for saving me." This girl saved my life. I was going to die; she saved my life. I don't even know how to react. I also don't know what to tell her. I begin.. "But... I don't have any place to go. I can't go back up there... And I don't know anything about the world down here... I don't where to go."

I start crying. Everything that's happened to me, the fall, the injuries, this girl, they are all now irrevocable parts of my life. And I don't think I can deal with them. Everything I knew is gone. Everything I am now finding out either is terrible or doesn't make any sense.

She is surprised by this. As she works on my leg, I finish crying. She gives me some strangely shaped leaves, and tells me to eat them. She says they will numb the pain for a while. When I'm done, she begins speaking; from the waver in her voice, I can tell that she is fighting tears.

"My entire life is pointless. Nothing I do has any meaning, and my life hasn't been mine since the day I was born. I'm just as lost and alone as you are. But, I do have somewhere to go. Since you don't, come with me." By the time she is done, I can't hear the tears anymore. Instead, I hear resolve. To do what, I don't know.

I am surprised by her offer, but not as much as I normally would have been. I'm suddenly tired, more tired than I have been in a long time. My whole body aches, and as she helps me up, the pain in my leg spikes again. After everything that has happened to me today, I am growing accustomed to surprises.

"How far?" I ask.

Taking my arm over her shoulder, she replies. "This is going to be a long walk."


TheLadyofTheInternet forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 2


Galahad forfeited this round.


TheLadyofTheInternet forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 3


Galahad forfeited this round.


TheLadyofTheInternet forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 4


I've waited and waited, but my opponent hasn't returned. I suppose that means that she has surrendered, unfortunately. Sorry, those of you who have been reading. I will probably reuse this prompt somewhere else.


TheLadyofTheInternet forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 5
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