The Instigator
i_heart_minecraft
Con (against)
Losing
8 Points
The Contender
justin.graves
Pro (for)
Winning
16 Points

Tell The Best Joke Possible

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 7 votes the winner is...
justin.graves
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 8/21/2013 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 4 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,398 times Debate No: 36880
Debate Rounds (2)
Comments (11)
Votes (7)

 

i_heart_minecraft

Con

We each have one chance to tell the best joke possible. My opponent may not tell a joke in his first round debate and in the second round we wil each tell ONE joke. It may be offensive, crude, or racist.
justin.graves

Pro

Sounds good. My joke will not be offensive, only slightly edgy. I told it to my pastor and learned it from a pastor, how bad can it be.
Debate Round No. 1
i_heart_minecraft

Con

What did one tampon say to the other?
Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.

Lol your turn.
justin.graves

Pro

That was sick, crude, and offensive, and un-humorous. My guess is that you don't know any funny clean jokes...

Now for mine.

One day, a dude and his college buddy are looking through the college class list. They only need one more credit to graduate.

One of the guys says "Hey, there's a class for deductive reasoning. I wonder what that is?"

His friend says "I don't know. Why don't you go ask the professor."

So the guy leaves his friend and goes into the professor's classroom and says "Professor, what is deductive reasoning?"

And the Professor says "Well, it goes a little like this... do you own a lawnmower?"

The man says "Yes, I own a lawnmower."

The Professor says "So if you have a lawnmower, that means you live in a house with your own lawn instead of an apartment."

The man says "Yes, that's true."

The professor says "Now, if you live in a house and not an apartment, there's a good chance you're married, right?"

The man replies "Yes, I am indeed married."

The professor reveals his final revelation: "And if you are married in North Carolina, where we live, that must mean you are heterosexual."

The man says. "Huh, you are right. I am straight. So that's deductive reasoning!"

The man goes back to his friend and said: "Ok, I've got this deductive reasoning thing figured out. Do you own a lawnmower?"

His friend says "No."

"Oh, will that must mean you're gay!"

Thank you and good night.
Debate Round No. 2
11 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by Nataliella 4 years ago
Nataliella
@justin.graves Ouch!
Posted by justin.graves 4 years ago
justin.graves
"tsall good. Sorry for the misunderstanding. I think you can't message me because we aren't "friends." And, I've literally stuff my hand in a garbage disposal on accident before. Bad memories.
Posted by Nataliella 4 years ago
Nataliella
@justin.graves

I wasn't able to message you, so I'll just say it here: When I said "I have better things to do: Like stick my hand down a garbage disposal", I was talking about responding to the opinion page so many times and clinging on. It was exasperating me, having that slight OCD where I felt compelled to respond to every single argument. I didn't mean it was painful talking to you. You had some interesting points. I also think it's great that you're helping out kids in need, that's extremely generous and caring of you.
Posted by justin.graves 4 years ago
justin.graves
I prefer the term "sarcastic." And I grew out of being a middle schooler after my suicide attempt. Then I saw what an idiot I was and got my life semi-straight.
Posted by i_heart_minecraft 4 years ago
i_heart_minecraft
Your profile says you are 16 so shouldn't that be funny to you Mr. Hasty Generalization Fallacy
Posted by justin.graves 4 years ago
justin.graves
To middle school boys or teens and college students who never grew out of being middle schoolers...
Posted by i_heart_minecraft 4 years ago
i_heart_minecraft
Dirty jokes are funny!
Posted by justin.graves 4 years ago
justin.graves
negotiator: "This isn't even a debate, quiet frankly i don't even understood why you're supposed to tell unacceptable jokes, or even why tell them this website is specifically made for debating. I will debate you if your topic is rational."

Me in my head: "This guy must be new."

Casually check his profile...

Saw that he had been on this site for 7 hours. Realized I must have been that stupid when I joined.
Posted by i_heart_minecraft 4 years ago
i_heart_minecraft
This is just a fun joke debate. If you come up with something I would debate you for real.
Posted by negotiator 4 years ago
negotiator
i meant understand sorry
7 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 7 records.
Vote Placed by Nataliella 4 years ago
Nataliella
i_heart_minecraftjustin.gravesTied
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Total points awarded:13 
Reasons for voting decision: Pro had a better joke, but was a little insulting to Con's joke.
Vote Placed by Gondun 4 years ago
Gondun
i_heart_minecraftjustin.gravesTied
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Total points awarded:13 
Reasons for voting decision: Con did make it clear that those kinds of jokes were acceptable. If you don't like them, you shouldn't have accepted.
Vote Placed by Leigh-Anna 4 years ago
Leigh-Anna
i_heart_minecraftjustin.gravesTied
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Total points awarded:04 
Reasons for voting decision: Justin's was very funny
Vote Placed by Bruinshockeyfan 4 years ago
Bruinshockeyfan
i_heart_minecraftjustin.gravesTied
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Total points awarded:10 
Reasons for voting decision: I didnt find any real funny. I say con had better conduct though. It was unessiasry of pro to comment on cons joke.
Vote Placed by dwmiller 4 years ago
dwmiller
i_heart_minecraftjustin.gravesTied
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Total points awarded:13 
Reasons for voting decision: Conduct pt to con. Pro didn't need to downgrade con's joke. Better joke goes to pro however.
Vote Placed by wiploc 4 years ago
wiploc
i_heart_minecraftjustin.gravesTied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: Pro's joke was funny.
Vote Placed by ModusTollens 4 years ago
ModusTollens
i_heart_minecraftjustin.gravesTied
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Total points awarded:40 
Reasons for voting decision: Con's joke was funny, if old. Pro's was simply long-winded. And though I hadn't heard it before, the ending was obvious as soon as the professor deduced that the person was straight. Conduct to con because Pro was derogatory about Con's joke.