The Instigator
9spaceking
Pro (for)
Tied
0 Points
The Contender
funnycn
Con (against)
Tied
0 Points

That Santa Claus, on Balance, is Beneficial to Mankind

Do you like this debate?NoYes+0
Add this debate to Google Add this debate to Delicious Add this debate to FaceBook Add this debate to Digg  
Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 0 votes the winner is...
It's a Tie!
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 10/12/2014 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 3,196 times Debate No: 63129
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (12)
Votes (0)

 

9spaceking

Pro

PREFACE
I agree, I have lost fair and square to Bsh1 in a debate about a topic similar to this one. Bsh1 is Bsh1 is Bsh1 is too awesome for the likes of 9spaceking. But--I have been losing debate after debate. Even troll debating, it seems, for me, I have lost my charm and I've been losing to Malacoda. It seems that even within a noob-snipe, I am failing to achieve my goal. Thus it has been decided--I must do a revenge debate!

RULES
-BoP is shared
-We will assume Santa Claus exists
-Round one acceptance
-6,000 characters per round
-You may only have one troll argument maximum per round, assuming you want a troll argument

Good luck and have fun!
funnycn

Con

Even if you are losing debate after debate, I try to win and make you lose.

Oh, and I accept.
Debate Round No. 1
9spaceking

Pro

Excellent. Two revenge debates in one--as the old sayinf goes, "killing two birds with one stone".
Anyhow, let's start off with Santa's coal reservation, eh?

Just how many "Bad kids" are there in the world? Well, enough to catch the attention of a news site complaining about bad parenting.
see: http://blogs.babycenter.com...
This is not a troll argument at all. Santa gives bad kids coal, and bad kids are effected heavily by their parents. Thus with bad parenting inevitably causes bad children. Just counting those teenage girls who get pregnant every single year, there's a massive 750,000--and that's only in America. (See: http://www.familyplanningplus.org...) I repeat--just for America--Santa has to waste 750,000 bags of coal. Assuming that Santa has the money from a mysterious source, and that he buys a ton at a time, and that one bag of coal weighs one pound (because getting pregnant is REALLY bad. This one single choice could outdo pretty much anything, with the exception of saving a life or something), then he would have to buy 750,000 pounds of coal, which means he'll be vastly feeding on our already dwindling energy supply. Already we are running out of coal, just see the graph below

From: http://www.bgr.bund.de...

Seriously, Santa could use the coal for much, MUCH better use than just sending it to kids. Soon enough the kids will be the coal factory, and they can even sell the coal for extra money! Bags of coal are punishment? I think not. Try again, Santa!

Now that we've touched on the problem of Santa's coal hoarding, let's move on to his massive factory. There are almost 2 billion children in the world, [1] and Santa needs to be able to build and send all those 2 billion gifts to everybody. Let's not get assuming and think about the elves being children (CHILD LABOR, NOOOOOOOOOO); we'll think of the elves as erm...little adults? Okay, that doesn't matter. Anyhow, as they build more and more....they pollute more to the atmosphere. Already, CO2 levels are getting outrageous.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org...'s_atmosphere
Our air will only become more polluted. Since Santa lives in the North Pole, the pollution could spread anywhere. We already have China to work with. Let's not become enemies with "Made in North Pole" too.



Let's talk about Santa's cruelty now. Santa has let one of his reindeers kill an old, innocent woman and clearly, at least two people can justify it.
(See video one for source)


In fact, he has even made a song to encourage his reindeer to run away "to a town", the secretive message is that they should find a hiding place so no one can ever find Santa and arrest him.
(See video two for justification)


Not only so, he also released a song with a VERY hidden discrete message. Listen closely to the lyrics, the singer clearly says "Riding on an OPEN sleigh." This refers to how he doesn't want the sleigh to be closed and thus wants everybody to fly out and just die, while he "laughs all the way" (maliciously)

Now I've revealed the surface of Santa's horrors, let's go in a little deeper.


As studies reveal from secretive spying aliens, Santa is secretly an evil alien trying to take over the world.


It all makes sense. Buying tons and tons of coal to hog our energy reserves, polluting our air to slowly kill us off while he laughs evilly, Santa is definitely an evil alien genius with a very clear plan.

Now, just to be clear, I only have one troll argument, with lots of evidence supporting it. The troll argument is that santa is cruel/evil, and to back it up with logic, I gave evidence that he is an alien trying to take over our world. The rest of my arguments are serious though, as they make sense if you think about it, especially since we are assuming Santa exists.

You lose for the second time ever, funnyCN. The evidence is too obvious. Santa cannot possibly be more beneficial than harmful to mankind in general.

[1] http://www.answers.com...
funnycn

Con

My opponent has actually argued in my favor, explaining everything wrong with Santa, which was supposed to be my job. He confessed Santa was actually bad, thus he loses the debate. Vote Con.

I guess I should still present an argument.

Santa is not beneficial to mankind in anyway. The fear he causes is one big reason.

Here is some photographic evidence...(Disclaimer: I do not own the photos presented. Non profit, ownership belongs to the true owner)Scared of Santahttp://www.trbimg.com...; data-content-naturalwidth="600" data-content-naturalheight="438" />Think your job is tough?http://www.trbimg.com...; data-content-naturalwidth="237" data-content-naturalheight="375" />Scared of Santahttp://www.trbimg.com...; data-content-naturalwidth="479" data-content-naturalheight="625" />
As you can clearly see, Santa is a frightening person. Notice the change in his appearance as well.

Some moustaches are curled, others are straight.

He may look much older or a little younger.

Even the glasses are hints.

Santa is the master of lies and deception! Lying, as most of our parents have taught us, are bad. Thus we are left with this scenario...

Parent tells kid lying is bad.
Parent tells kid Santa is good.
Santa is a liar and a frightening being.
Thus, lying is good.

Pro had already argued for me and most of what I was about to say.

Remember...

My opponent has actually argued in my favor, explaining everything wrong with Santa, which was supposed to be my job. He confessed Santa was actually bad, thus he loses the debate. Vote Con.

Debate Round No. 2
9spaceking

Pro

My god, I accidentally chose pro.....
We will assume that my entire round 2 argument was satrical for the sakes of the debate and funniness. (It's an incredibly hard challenge, but I think I can manage)
Here we go now.

It is because he needs to spend money to buy coal, these girls would be encouraged furthermore to not get pregnant. Thus, in the Santa-exists world, those girls would actually recieve great benefit because they wouldn't dare get pregnant at all, because the coal business would be chasing them down and arresting them due to their hate because the girls are the reason Santa has to buy so much coal--Santa is only doing his job, after all--and thus due to Santa, the benefits of less accidental pregnancy is very obvious. Secondly, the addition to CO2 is not necessarily bad. In fact, there is little to no evidence that CO2 traps heat and in fact real evidence shows that it adds to the ozone, helping it, thus availibly gain more Antarctica land. (as seen from http://www.redstate.com..., and the picture below from http://www.americasfreedomfighters.com...)
GLOBAL WARMING HOAX

Santa is trying to help the animals too, as very obvious in the pictures below.



We don't have to worry about going to the North Pole to help the animals any more, Santa is helping us do our job. Thus it is obvious he is quite beneficial to mandkind.

Now, as for the pollution, it's obviously over-bloated. China makes much more than just 2 billion gifts per year. In fact, just counting the American Imports, we have a total of $29 billion. (See: http://www.npr.org...) Not to mention that that's not all of the countries China exports to, and that we haven't counted all the factories within China. Besides, who says Santa's factory really pollutes the air? Santa probably uses the same travel magic that allows him to visit every children in one night as to build all those 2 billion gifts. Maybe all his elves have his magic too. Who knows?



Now to talk about "Santa's cruelty". Two people can justify a reindeer killing a woman? Please, one of them's the singer's "Grandpa", and the singer sounds pretty old to me. 40's? 30's? I don't know, but his grandpa is near-dead, so he seems to be the only survivor. Yet, he sings about the song pretty jollily, and he doesn't go like "I HATE SANTA BECAUSE HIS REINDEER RAN OVER OUR GRANDMA." I think there's a very good reason the singer's grandma got run over. Santa is very just, giving gifts to people who act good and giving coal (or snowman poop) to people who are bad. Grandma is either a serial killer or she really wanted to die but she couldn't suicide on her own so Santa helped her. This song, with the singer actually sounding happy about his grandma's death, is definitely proof that Santa is a good person. Now, as for the secretive message, obviously, since Santa isn't really an unjust murderer, he can't run away from against the law because he didn't break the law. Furthermore, as for "riding on an open sleigh" just means "enjoy the breeze and wind". I mean, would you go inside a closed sleigh and be locked there forever, unable to enjoy the open air while the others laugh at you? Of course not. Santa's "discrete message" is obviously good for everyone.
FINALLY, as to his "evil alien picture", it was obviously photoshopped. Santa was just using his magic to make delicious candy canes for everyone. This is the original, non-photoshopped picture

You can tell the guy who photoshopped this was a pro.
NOW, TO REBUT MY OPPONENT.... (God, this is becoming my hardest debate yet!)
My opponent tries to talk and stress on Santa's intimidation. That's actually a good thing. He can intimidate burglars out of your house easily. He has an intimidating face to avoid reporters asking him questions, stalking him, or even assassins murdering him! This old man is not one to be messing around with, he's Santa! Because he's so darn popular, he has to try using disguises and different routes so murderers won't kill the all-important Man of Christmas. Santa is good in his heart, he may look evil, but in reality he's awesome, intelligent, having an excellent plan that prevents reporters, murderers, while still doing his job.
Besides, scared faces can look hilarious.






You gotta admit you laughed at some of those photos. He scares the children to get laughs, even the children laugh after they realise Santa wouldn't really do any harm to them.
Photos of children after the initial intimidating face of Santa:
s://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com...; alt="" width="450" height="300" />



As you can see, my argument for the second round was definitely satrical. My opponent misinterpreted it. (Actually, no, I accidentally took the wrong side. And phew--what a dramatic turn-over!!) Santa cannot harm anyone. He does not mean any harm. Santa is definitely, indisputably, beneficial to humankind.

I'm dead now. Please take your time to rebut and reconstruct. My fingers hurt like
.
funnycn

Con

Pro is trying to claim it was an accident, this does not explain why he conceded and forfeit the debate by arguing FOR me AND saying Santa is bad.

Still making a rebuttal.

"We don't have to worry about going to the North Pole to help the animals any more"
Look VERY close at this. Is...is that a wild cat in the snow!? Yes, actually it's a Lioness! Santa brought a desert native animal to the NORTH POLE. Santa helps animals? No, he captures them and puts them in the cold to freeze them to death. Except animals native to the cold, which he puts in the desert.s://c1.staticflickr.com...; alt="" width="640" height="427" />
See how confused these innocent penguins are?

Magic? MAGIC!? Magic is what caused a LOT of deaths to women in the middle ages. Innocent women were titled "witches" and burned, drowned, hung even. Does magic sound good to you?
Look at the pain on her face...she's innocent.

"Now to talk about "Santa's cruelty". Two people can justify a reindeer killing a woman? Please, one of them's the singer's "Grandpa", and the singer sounds pretty old to me. 40's? 30's? I don't know, but his grandpa is near-dead, so he seems to be the only survivor. Yet, he sings about the song pretty jollily, and he doesn't go like "I HATE SANTA BECAUSE HIS REINDEER RAN OVER OUR GRANDMA."

Are you claiming it's still okay to run people over with reindeer?

"My opponent tries to talk and stress on Santa's intimidation. That's actually a good thing. He can intimidate burglars"
That is if people don't think HE is the burglar. An old man breaking into your house doesn't sound good anymore, does it?

"He has an intimidating face to avoid reporters asking him questions, stalking him, or even assassins murdering him! This old man is not one to be messing around with, he's Santa! Because he's so darn popular, he has to try using disguises and different routes so murderers won't kill the all-important Man of Christmas. Santa is good in his heart, he may look evil, but in reality he's awesome, intelligent, having an excellent plan that prevents reporters, murderers, while still doing his job."

His job is to break into your house, scare people off, look intimidating to scare children...oh wait you didn't explain that.
It's okay for Santa to look intimidating but WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN? My opponent can't explain that.

"You gotta admit you laughed at some of those photos. He scares the children to get laughs, even the children laugh after they realise Santa wouldn't really do any harm to them.
Photos of children after the initial intimidating face of Santa:"
Then why is a CHILD CRYING IN THE SECOND ONE!?

See the child IS CRYING. He's intimidating my opponent has confessed it through photography.
It appears as if my opponent is forfeiting the debate.

Debate Round No. 3
9spaceking

Pro

LAST. ROUND.
I never conceded as my opponent accuses me of. I accidentally took the wrong side. Now, I explained in the last round why it all actually goes in my favor instead of against.

My opponent accuses Santa of putting desert animals in the North Pole and penguins in the desert. Again, we don't know. The evidence is that Santa is fair and just to the people/children of the world, nothing suggests he won't be unfair to those animals either.

Santa has different magic than witches. Besides, witches are thought to be evil while everyone knows Santa is good, so they won't burn him.

As for the reindeer, yes, because if they deserve to die/want to die, they deserve death by reindeer.

"An old man breaking into your house doesn't sound good anymore, does it?" Santa doesn't steal. Santa gives. I don't see what's wrong with good old Santa "Breaking" into the house if he only does good and not bad.

My forfeiting of the debate: young children cry all the time. There's a reason they're called "cry babies". Not even Santa can solve that.

IN CONCLUSION
I have dramatically, epically, turned over this case and managed to prove Santa was beneficial to mankind rather than having negative effects.
Many, many of my arguments remain unrefuted.
This was probably the hardest debate I have ever taken on and I will double check any other debates I ever do and try not to surpass the difficulty in this debate.
VOTE ME.
funnycn

Con

"I never conceded as my opponent accuses me of. I accidentally took the wrong side. Now, I explained in the last round why it all actually goes in my favor instead of against."

My opponent claims he did not concede. Well let's see then shall we? Also don't make up excuses.

Here is proof my opponent has conceded...

"Now I've revealed the surface of Santa's horrors, let's go in a little deeper."
"Let's talk about Santa's cruelty now"
"Santa is secretly an evil alien"
"Santa cannot possibly be more beneficial than harmful"
" Santa is definitely an evil alien genius
"Not only so, he also released a song with a VERY hidden discrete message. Listen closely to the lyrics, the singer clearly says "Riding on an OPEN sleigh.' This refers to how he doesn't want the sleigh to be closed and thus wants everybody to fly out and just die, while he "laughs all the way' "

This is enough evidence to prove that he has conceded and thus, forfeits the debate and on top of that argued FOR me instead of against me.

Time for a rebuttal.

"My opponent accuses Santa of putting desert animals in the North Pole and penguins in the desert. Again, we don't know. The evidence is that Santa is fair and just to the people/children of the world, nothing suggests he won't be unfair to those animals either. "

But we do know that he still puts DESERT animals in the NORTH POLE. Here's the proof.



A desert animal in the north pole. Sickening.

"Santa has different magic than witches"

Not true. What magic does Santa use exactly? Oh yes, conjuration. Also a spell of speed. I can find TWO links to these kind of spells, each. Two for conjuration, two for speed spells.

http://www.spellsandmagic.com...
http://www.spellsofmagic.com...

These links have the very dark and black magic rituals and items required to conjure things. Including the "gifts" Santa brings. Oh, my bad I mean conjures with BLACK magic.

As for the spells for speed...
http://www.spellsandmagic.com...
http://www.spellsofmagic.com...

They all have connections to black magic as well.

"As for the reindeer, yes, because if they deserve to die/want to die, they deserve death by reindeer. "

You justify murder and death by reindeer, may I mind you is very painful. Also, very common.

Over 200 people a year die by deer-vehicle collision.
[http://en.wikipedia.org...]
I assume you support that, as you claimed.

Deer are very dangerous and murderous, regardless if you're in a car or not. In the wild, bucks can kill you with their antlers, trample you, and even BITE you. During mating season, it's more common to be attacked by deer.

Oh, and these murderous woodland "friends" are used by the nortorious SANTA.

"Santa doesn't steal. Santa gives. I don't see what's wrong with good old Santa "Breaking" into the house if he only does good and not bad"

You're claiming it's okay to break into a house as long as you give them something? You justify murder by reindeer, and now you justify breaking into people's houses. You're as bad as Santa.

" young children cry all the time. There's a reason they're called "cry babies". Not even Santa can solve that."

He can't solve it with his "magic"?

Conclusion

Santa is a criminal.

i. Animal abuse, kidnapping of animals, and general hatred to animals.

Santa helps animals? No, he captures them and puts them in the cold to freeze them to death. Except animals native to the cold, which he puts in the desert
See, a lioness, a desert animal, in the snow.

ii. Intimidating features, and disguise. (See 2nd round for proof of disguise)
"Santa is the master of lies and deception! Lying, as most of our parents have taught us, are bad. Thus we are left with this scenario...

Parent tells kid lying is bad.
Parent tells kid Santa is good.
Santa is a liar and a frightening being.
Thus, lying is good."

iii. Black magic.
Not true. What magic does Santa use exactly? Oh yes, conjuration. Also a spell of speed. I can find TWO links to these kind of spells, each. Two for conjuration, two for speed spells.

http://www.spellsandmagic.com...
http://www.spellsofmagic.com...

These links have the very dark and black magic rituals and items required to conjure things. Including the "gifts" Santa brings. Oh, my bad I mean conjures with BLACK magic.

As for the spells for speed...
http://www.spellsandmagic.com...
http://www.spellsofmagic.com...

iv. My oponent conceded and argued in my favor

Here is proof my opponent has conceded...

"Now I've revealed the surface of Santa's horrors, let's go in a little deeper."
"Let's talk about Santa's cruelty now"
"Santa is secretly an evil alien"
"Santa cannot possibly be more beneficial than harmful"
" Santa is definitely an evil alien genius
"Not only so, he also released a song with a VERY hidden discrete message. Listen closely to the lyrics, the singer clearly says "Riding on an OPEN sleigh.' This refers to how he doesn't want the sleigh to be closed and thus wants everybody to fly out and just die, while he "laughs all the way' "


My opponent has actually argued in my favor, explaining everything wrong with Santa, which was supposed to be my job. He confessed Santa was actually bad, thus he loses the debate. Vote Con.

Debate Round No. 4
12 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by mdc32 2 years ago
mdc32
Wow. If I could vote, I have no clue what I would do. One things though - funnycn, you apparently refuse to acknowledge the fact that 9spaceking said his second round was entirely satirical. You insist that Pro conceded, yet you only use evidence from round 2, and not other rounds. This is an insane debate otherwise.
Posted by cheyennebodie 2 years ago
cheyennebodie
Never told that lie to my children. They never told it to theirs.Never give your children reason not to trust you.
Posted by 9spaceking 2 years ago
9spaceking
I hate this debate. :(
Posted by 9spaceking 2 years ago
9spaceking
this has got to be the hardest debate I've ever been in. I'm never doing this again.
Posted by 9spaceking 2 years ago
9spaceking
Whops....I took the wrong side. I meant to take the side talking about how santa WASNT beneficial to mankind....
Posted by funnycn 2 years ago
funnycn
But you still would have lost :P
Posted by 9spaceking 2 years ago
9spaceking
WTF, you CAN beat someone who beat you
Posted by funnycn 2 years ago
funnycn
I already beat you once, thus you can not beat someone who beat you because it would create a paradox that would end the world! Anyways, I gotta sign off I'll post my argument tomorrow(?)
Posted by 9spaceking 2 years ago
9spaceking
*errr....fourth person to beat you. Typo right there.
Posted by funnycn 2 years ago
funnycn
@Chey This is assuming he exists.
No votes have been placed for this debate.