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The Funny Debate Pt 1

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Voting Style: Open Point System: Select Winner
Started: 4/28/2016 Category: Funny
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 477 times Debate No: 90375
Debate Rounds (2)
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Random life observations

Went Humpty Dumpty goes to Heaven, he is going to be a fallen angel.

Emperor Palpatine is always scared of the dark side, and palpitates at the thought of his own shadow.

Lame jokes are not able to walk anywhere.

Raises are the worst way to start ones day, because who wants to go high in the sky?

Castles are the inverse of caves.

Markiplier and Jacksepticeye do not want ply their eyes out unfortunately.

Thieves are the worst sleepers.

Hope is Luke, and Anakin is Hope, so Luke and Anakin are the same person. (confusing eh?)

Marshmallows do not grow in marshes.

James Carpenter, is such a wooden name.

To be or not to be, is a morbid question.

Paradise is going to be a large game of Yahtzee.

Why do we debate? To catch de-fish!

*random spurts of applause. What am I doing with life?


Q: How many Frenchmen died in World War II????
A: Not Enough.

Q: Why do we need France on our side against Sadaam and Osama?
A: So the French can show them how to surrender.

Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad?
A: A salesman

Q: What"s the shortest book ever written?
A: French War Heroes.

Q: What is the first thing the French Army teaches at basic training?
A: How to surrender in at least 10 languages.

Q: What is the most useful thing in the French Army?
A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war.

Q: Why does Nike like the French Army?
A: Because, in war time, they are the biggest buyers of running shoes.

Q: Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*?
A: Because it doesn"t really exist.

Q: Why do the French have glass bottom boats in their Navy?
A: To see all their other ships.

Q: How did the French react to German reunification?
A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers.

Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back?
A: Jacques Chirac

Q: Why is good to be French?
A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it for you.

Q: How many Frenchman does it take to guard Paris?
A: Nobody knows, its never been tried before
Debate Round No. 1


Life is short
Life is short
Life is short
Life is short

Poetry in 12 words.

Public Service Announcements are the definition of unwanted information.

When Chewbacca cries, we aren't sure if we heard a goat.

Redeademption is the process of dying red with no exemptions. Also the name of a videogame abbreviated.

Tonight, I don't want a Gourd, but I do want a Falcon. (where are Jimmy and James when you need them?)

Did I forget to explain the rules? Oh right, run - French

Fighting is something that everyone does, but the US does with groups.

My username reflects my jokes.

China - Donald Trump

When Mao Zedong died, who knows what happened. When Stalin died, Trump remembered. When Hitler died, everyone cheered. Now we know who was really popular. And it wasn't Trump.

Tonight, I have a place to go thanks to prepositions.

French are ovverated and cannot bench. They also cannot quench their fear. Or keep away a stench. Or..... dig a trench.



- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.]

- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War
- Tied

- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost.
- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States

- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

- War on Terrorism
- France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.
Debate Round No. 2
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Vote Placed by dsjpk5 2 years ago
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