The Instigator
danielawesome12
Pro (for)
Losing
0 Points
The Contender
Gordontrek
Con (against)
Winning
13 Points

The U.S. Congress should be replaced with monkeys

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 3 votes the winner is...
Gordontrek
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 10/4/2013 Category: Politics
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,673 times Debate No: 38474
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (6)
Votes (3)

 

danielawesome12

Pro

Congress has been the worst part of the United States government for about half a century now, and it's obvious Monkey's could do the job that they do. They must work really hard on the golf course to earn an 8% approval rating, can't say they deserve that 8% though. [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

- Because 46% of congressmen are millionaire's they fail to understand daily life in the typical family.
- The only bills congress can pass are bills that increase their pay, can't say I'm surprised.
- Congressmen have a simple job to represent the beliefs of the people, shutting down the unnecessary parts of government, then ignoring any chance of compromise, then blaming the other side for their political beliefs does nothing to represent Americans.
- Congress loves to say check and balances solves all, but a lack of competition throws checks and balances out the window.
- For every member of Congress, there are about 22 registered lobbyists who donate money, throw fundraisers and manipulate legislation to the benefit of corporations and interest groups.
- Congress plays and blames the media to aid their lobbyists regime's.

Sources:
[1] http://www.usnews.com...
[2] http://www.huffingtonpost.com...
[3] http://www.huffingtonpost.com...
[4] http://www.google.com...
[5] http://articles.washingtonpost.com...
Gordontrek

Con

Pro will note that I asked in the comments if I could accept, but actually did accept before he replied. The reason is that I couldn't resist, as I am in need of a "fun" debate. It's been a while since I've had a lighthearted debate, and I look forward to the opportunity to do it again.
Pro's resolution is that the U.S. Congress should be replaced with monkeys. As Con must argue against this notion. I wholeheartedly agree with the points that Pro made. Congress, especially the current one, has shown itself to be quite inept and lacking in intelligence and common sense. But I must argue that they should NOT be replaced with monkeys, and I shall do so becuase of one simple reason: they already ARE monkeys!!

Let's examine the general behavioral patterns of monkeys, and find out why replacing Congress with them would be an unnecessary waste of time and money.

1. Closed groups- Most monkeys live in separate social groups with limited contact with members of other groups. But if there is contact, then it is either friendly, or extremely violent. [1] This by itself bears resemblance to the typical behavior of Congress, does it not? As we debate, our government has shut down, and look at the results- the Republicans refuse to associate with the hypocritical Democrat scum, and the Democrats refuse to associate with the bigoted Republican scum!
2. Speech- The best monkeys can do in the way of vocal communication is "complicated" lip movement, particularly the smacking of lips, as well as a certain "moaning", which some seemingly desperate scientists say indicates an ancestral relation to human speech. [2] [3] I invite anyone reading to hit YouTube and watch filibusters or an impassioned speech from a Democrat. Would many people not describe it as ceaseless moaning? The most common thing people say when someone of an opposing party gets through speaking is "aaw, that was nothin' but mindless drivel." There you have it- what person would not agree that any speech done by someone from an opposing political party was just "mindless moaning and lip-smacking"??
3. What is a congress? A group of baboons! Baboons are perhaps the loudest, most obnoxious and least intelligent of all primates, and a gathering of them is called a congress!
So we see that 1. Monkeys live in separate groups where conflict with other groups is common, 2. that monkeys can at best speak by just smacking their lips, and 3. that a group of them is called a congress. What further proof do we need that the people in Congress are already monkeys, and that replacing them would simply be a waste of time?

If you really want to replace the members of conflict with animals, then there is one species we have not considered. Why not replace them with- PARROTS!



Compare parrots to monkeys!
Parrots are generally very social, and will normally interact with other types of birds without incident. Also, you can teach parrots to talk! Of course, with all parrots, vocabulary is limited, but from what we've seen in Congress, there wouldn't be much difference, would there? Finally, I think "flock" sounds much better than "congress," doesn't it?


So, I have attempted to refute the notion that Congress should not be replaced with monkeys on the grounds that they already are! I look forward to danielawesome12's next argument, and would like to thank him for the opportunity to debate.


[1] http://anthro.palomar.edu...
[2] http://news.discovery.com...
[3] http://www.livescience.com...
[4] http://en.wikipedia.org...
Debate Round No. 1
danielawesome12

Pro

I forfeit this debate
GO PARROTS! 2014
Gordontrek

Con

Pro said in the previous round that he has forfeited. In the comments, however, he said we might continue in the next round. I will leave that up to him. I completely understand about schedule conflicts. I have many myself, being both a student and a musician.
Unless Pro decides monkeys are better than parrots, I would like to parrot what he said: PARROTS 2014!! If you oppose them, you're a mean-spirited, hate-spewing ornithophobic bigot!! (who doesn't pay his fair share.)
Debate Round No. 2
danielawesome12

Pro

danielawesome12 forfeited this round.
Gordontrek

Con

It appears that this debate is at an end. It didn't turn out to be all that exciting, but I still want to thank danielawesome12 for allowing me the chance to do it. I always look forward to fun debates.
And don't forget: PARROTS 2014!!! Thanks for reading and God bless all of you. (wait sorry, that's not politically correct, is it.)



Debate Round No. 3
6 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 6 records.
Posted by danielawesome12 3 years ago
danielawesome12
If you want we can continue in round 2 I simply didn't have enough time to finish the round. Was busily all of Saturday n sunday
Posted by danielawesome12 3 years ago
danielawesome12
I'm up for About anything.
Posted by Gordontrek 3 years ago
Gordontrek
Well then, welcome back! Can I accept despite the fact that we agree on pretty much everything, or do you want a liberal?
Posted by danielawesome12 3 years ago
danielawesome12
I've returned to Debate.org and what better way to start then this.
Posted by danielawesome12 3 years ago
danielawesome12
I've returned to Debate.org and what better way to start then this.
Posted by danielawesome12 3 years ago
danielawesome12
I've returned to Debate.org and what better way to start then this.
3 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Vote Placed by KroneckerDelta 3 years ago
KroneckerDelta
danielawesome12GordontrekTied
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Total points awarded:07 
Reasons for voting decision: Wow. So first off, this debate was asinine. Taken literally, the resolution could not possibly stand (although I can think of some ways to defend the resolution--basically monkeys would mean random legislation which could be better than the current congress). But OK, I continued to read. In the first round of arguments, Con basically gave Pro a gift in essentially conceding the entire debate: if congress is already equivalent to monkeys then there is no harm in the resolution and Con only asserts it would be costly to replace them for which Pro could have easily showed it's not. But then Pro forfeited the debate and accepted Con's extraneous counter-plan.
Vote Placed by bsh1 3 years ago
bsh1
danielawesome12GordontrekTied
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Total points awarded:03 
Reasons for voting decision: Hilarious!
Vote Placed by airmax1227 3 years ago
airmax1227
danielawesome12GordontrekTied
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Reasons for voting decision: Pro FFs the debate in R2. So Con's arguments go unanswered and he earns argument points.