The Instigator
thett3
Con (against)
Tied
4 Points
The Contender
Zaradi
Pro (for)
Tied
4 Points

The United States should conquer Africa

Do you like this debate?NoYes+0
Add this debate to Google Add this debate to Delicious Add this debate to FaceBook Add this debate to Digg  
Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 4 votes the winner is...
It's a Tie!
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 4/6/2012 Category: Politics
Updated: 4 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,296 times Debate No: 22630
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (8)
Votes (4)

 

thett3

Con

Zaradi and I are about to have an amazing debate.


Conquer- to acquire by force of arms; win in war: to conquer a foreign land

Africa- a continent South of Europe and between the Atlantic and Indianoceans.
551,000,000; about 11,700,000 sq. mi. (30,303,000sq. km).

No semantics on "should" please! There is an extra round in case a forfeit happens, if it doesn't the 5th will be a blank round. Cases in round 2, no refutations until round 3.
Zaradi

Pro

Challenge accepted >;3

I do hope this will not be a serious debate, as I intend to troll the sh!t out of this topic.

Other than that, please see the following link:

http://i.qkme.me...;
Debate Round No. 1
thett3

Con

~~~~~I too intend to troll this topic. Since we're both trolling, I propose that the debate remains a tie~~~~~

I negate: The United States should kill all black people.

Value: Sex. Sex is the ultimate act one can commit. Actions which reduce the total amount of sex in the world must be regarded as evil. Judge on which case allows for maximal amounts of sex.

Criterion: Not killing and maiming people. Dead people cannot have sex, and maimed people are highly unnattractive. Thus, by not going to war (and not killing people) there will be more sex in the world.

Contention one: Argument from selfishness

1. If something does not benefit Thett3, it should not be done
2. A war with Africa would not benefit Thett3.
3. Therefore, it should not be done.

Premise one seems uncontreversial, after all, why would anyone want to harm Thett3? Oh thats right, they wouldnt. Things that harm Thett3 could reduce his sexual activity, thus meeting the burden for negation in my framework.

Premise two is obvious. Thett3 has to register for the draft in 2 months, and a war in Africa would obviously require a draft. Africa has over 1 billion people[1], let's assume that only 5% (a tiny estimate) actually decide to fight us, we would still have to kill 50,000,000 Africans to conquer the continent. Using the current number of fighting men the US has (around 1 million) thats a kill ration of 50:1. That's clearly impossible. The US cant even conquer Afghanistan in ten years, let alone Africa, so Thett AND Zaradi would both end up drafted and have to fight the war, and as a result would either die or be wounded and have less sex appeal. Or be mentally scarred for life and accidentally murder their girlfriends after the war because they have a rambo style flashback to their time as green berets. This would also lower the total amount of sex in the world by taking out active females.

Premise Three logically follows.

Contention two: Appeal to the voters

A war in Africa would probably make the United States impliment a full military draft due to their massive numbers and probable ferocious resistance. Over 60% of DDO is between the ages of 18-34, and of military age[2]. So a war in Africa has the potential to DIRECTLY harm 60% of you. Vote Con.

Also, the more people that die, the less overall sex in the world.

Contention three: Cancer Cure

Because wars cause causualties, doctors are needed and are drafted into the military. This causes the doctors to focus on curing wounded soldiers instead of searching for the cure for cancer. This causes more cancer patients to die, and thus lowers the overall amount of sex in the world by reducing the number of potential partners.

Contention four: Jimtimmy and Reasoning should vote Con because they dont want to have to take care of a bunch of blacks in Africa.

Obvious.

Contention five: The United States should focus its resources on conquering Canada

What does Africa have to offer the US? A bunch of sand? Please.

Canada however, offers us a lot more. It offers us Hockey Stadiums, Canadian Bacon, nonentity/tulle, Maple Syrup, leaves, forests, oil, and much much more!

Contention six: The cats would be harmed

Not only would many African cats be caught in the crossfire, but American cats would suffer the pain of having to lose their owners, and having a lack of canned food and table scraps, since all of our supplis would be funding the war effort.

Contention seven: Chinese invasion

Card: Blackvoid '12, Private interview: "US African conquest links: Chinese invasion"

Link: "Africa is an AIDS hotbed, we intervene their all out troops get disease and die. With our military destroyed we will be defenseless against a China invasion."

More AIDS leads to less people able to have sex.

The resolution is negated.

1. http://en.wikipedia.org...;
2. http://www.debate.org...;

Zaradi

Pro

I affirm the resolution: The United States should Conquer Africa (by means of buying out everyone who lives there)

Value: Sex. Sex, as my opponent and I agree on, is the ultimate moral action that a human being can possibly commit. So the debate must come down to whoever is maximizing the most amount of sex, or by creating the biggest orgy possible.

Criterion: Aquiring more womenz and men. More people = more people that can be having sex. Simple enough. I contend that by aquiring africa using monetary means, we can maximize people having sex.

Contention One: Mo' people, mo' sex!

The math is pretty simple. If you take a 1 (which represents the man's willy), and add it with a 0 (which represents the women's pleasuring hole), the result is sex! The more 1's and 0's we have, the more sex we have. By buying out Africa, we have more people, i.e. more 1's and 0's. This means that by affirming, we get more sex!

Contention Two: We can buy out Africa.

I mean, for real. Africa is practically all dirt and mud. The monetary value of Africa is so low, we'd be gaining money by buying it out(1). There would be no harm from doing so, only more sex, and sex is good.

Contention Three: Argument from Lust.

1. Sex is good.
2. People can have sex.
3. Thus, having sex is good.

4. If something is good, you want more of it.
5. Having more of something good gives you more good.
6. Having more sex brings more good.

7. To have sex, you need people.
8. To have more sex, you need more people.
9. More sex is good.
10. We should get more people to have sex.

11. If we want more of something good, it's right to get it from somewhere else.
12. In order to have sex, we need to get more people.
13. Africa has more people.
14. We can take the people from Africa to have sex with.
15. Thus, we can buy out africa for sex.

The logic is irrefutable due to the insane sexiness of my opponent. If my opponent tries to refute this argument, he concedes that he is not sexy, which would make me more preferable in the eyes of o' RoyalPaladin. If I have RoyalPaladin, I will be getting more sex than him, and thus will be best fulfilling the value of sex.

Contention Four: I'm far more skilled than my opponent.

In more than one area ;) thus, I'll be best able to meet the value of sex, so this is why you should vote for me.

So, in summary of all my points:

If A, then B
If B, then C
If C, then not D
If Not D, then maybe F
If E, then G
If G and A, then D
Since D is real, then so is H
H is real, therefore F is actually real despite D existing at the same time C does.
Thusly, we should buy out Africa.
Debate Round No. 2
thett3

Con

Forfeiting this round (real debate work is in the way).

Extend your arguments please, Zaradi. We'll continue our trolling in the next round
Zaradi

Pro

"Real debate work"

Uh huh. You just don't know what to say :p
U mad bro?
Debate Round No. 3
thett3

Con

I'll refute his arguments now.

He agrees with my value of sex.

My criterion better meets this value, because since conquest requires a military conflict, there would be deaths and therefore less sex over all. You have to vote for me now

He says that more people leads to more sex, which is true. However he is, by the nature of conquest, reducing the total amount of sex in the world. Since his entire case is sex, you can turn the value completely against him and flow it neg.

He further argues that we could buy out Africa. This is a brilliant, sexi idea, and it turns me on. Excellent job Zaradi, excellent ;). But it isnt conquest so it isn't meeting his burden.

His argument from lust falls at premise 13 (lol) because you're killing more people so less sex happens over all--he does not dispute that we need to look at sex from an absolute worldview, so he's already lost. I'm glad he thinks I'm sexy, but really I dont want to sleep with any African hostages from the conquest, lets save that for the Africans shall we?

He argues that hes more skilled than me, but the only way to prove it is for one of you to sleep with both of us and make a judgement (I invite you to do so!!) so yes.

I have a lot of characters because the logic behind his arguments is as flimsy as his d1ck, so I'll post song lyrics now




I'm through with standing in line
To clubs we'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the ninth
And I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out
Quite the way I want it to be

(Tell me what you want)

I want a brand new house
On an episode of Cribs
And a bathroom I can play baseball in
And a king size tub big enough
For ten plus me

(So what you need?)

I'll need a credit card that's got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club
At thirty-seven thousand feet

(Been there, done that)

I want a new tour bus full of old guitars
My own star on Hollywood Boulevard
Somewhere between Cher and
James Dean is fine for me

(So how you gonna do it?)

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

[Chorus:]
'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up @ssholes
Sign a couple autographs
So I can eat my meals for free
(I'll have the quesadilla on the house)
I'm gonna dress my @ss
With the latest fashion
Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion
Gonna date a centerfold that loves to
Blow my money for me
(So how you gonna do it?)
I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

[Chorus]

And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial, well

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I'm gonna sing those songs
That offend the censors
Gonna pop my pills from a pez dispenser

I'll get washed-up singers writing all my songs
lip sync 'em every night so I don't get 'em wrong

[Chorus]

And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar




Do what you want, ‘cause a pirate is free,
YOU ARE A PIRATE!
Yar har, fiddle di dee,
Being a pirate is alright to be,
Do what you want ‘cause a pirate is free,
You are a pirate!

(spoken)You are a pirate!
(crowd)Yay!

We've got us a map, (a map!)
To lead us to a hidden box,
That's all locked up with locks! (with locks!)
And buried deep away!

We'll dig up the box, (the box!)
We know it's full of precious booty!
Burst open the locks!
And then we'll say hooray!

(girl's voice)Yar, har, fiddle di dee.
If you love to sail the sea,
You are a pirate!

(spoken)Weigh anchooor!

Yar har, fiddle di dee,
Being a pirate is alright to be!
Do what you want '‘cause a pirate is free,
You are a pirate!
Arr yarr, ahoy and avast,
dinky-dink-dink-a-dinkadefast!
Hang the black flag
At the end of the mast!
You are a pirate!

Hahaha! (Yay!)

We're sailing away (set sail!),
Adventure awaits on every shore!
We set sail and explore (ya-har!)
And run and jump all day (Yay!)
We float on our boat (the boat!)
Until its time to drop the anchor,
Then hang up our coats (aye-aye!)
Until we sail again!

(girl's voice)Yar, har, fiddle di dee.
If you love to sail the sea,
You are a pirate!

Laaaand ho!

Yar har, fiddle di dee,
Being a pirate is alright with me!
Do what you want ‘cause a pirate is free,
You are a pirate!

(spoken)Yar har, wind at your back, lads,
Wherever you go!

(singing)Blue sky above and blue ocean below,
You are a pirate!

(spoken)Hahahahaa!
You're a pirate!




Send "Material Girl" Ringtone to your Cell

Some boys kiss me
Some boys hug me
I think they're ok
If they don't give me proper credit
I just walk away

They can beg and they can plead
But they can't see the light (that's right)
'Cause the boy with the cold hard cash
Is always Mister Right

'Cause we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl

Some boys romance
Some boys slow dance
That's all right with me
If they can't raise my interest then I
Have to let them be

Some boys try and some boys lie but
I don't let them play (no way)
Only boys who save their pennies
Make my rainy day

'Cause we're living in a material world
And I am a material girl
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl
Living in a material world
And I am a material girl
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl

Living in a material world (material)
Living in a material world
Living in a material world (material)
Living in a material world

Boys may come and boys may go
And that's all right you see
Experience has made me rich
And now they're after me

'Cause everybody's living in a material world
And I am a material girl
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl
Living in a material world
And I am a material girl
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl

A material, a material, a material, a material world







He was a boy
She was a girl
Can I make it anymore obvious?
He was a punk.
She did ballet.
What more can I say?
He wanted her.
She'd never tell.
Secretly she wanted him as well.
And all of her friends
Stuck up their nose.
And they had a problem with his baggy clothes.

He was a skater boy, she said see ya later boy.
He wasn't good enough for her.
She had a pretty face but her head was up in space.
She needed to come back down to earth.

Five years from now, she sits at home feeding the baby, she's all alone.
She turns on TV and guess who she sees?
Skater boy rockin' up MTV.
She calls up her friends.
They already know
And they've all got tickets to see his show.
She tags along, stands in the crowd.
Looks up at the man that she turned down.

[x2:]
He was a skater boy, she said see ya later boy.
He wasn't good enough for her.
Now he's a superstar
Slammin' on his guitar
Does your pretty face see what he's worth?

Sorry girl but you missed out.
Well tough luck that boy's mine now.
We are more than just good friends.
This is how the story ends.
Too bad that you couldn't see...
See the man that boy could be.
There is more than meets the eye,
I see the soul that is inside.

He's just a boy, and I'm just a girl.
Can I make it anymore obvious?
We are in love.
Haven't you heard how we rock each other's world?

I met the skater boy I said see ya later boy.
I'll be backstage after the show.
I'll be at the studio singing the song he wrote about a girl he used to know

I met the skater boy I said see ya later boy.
I'll be backstage after the show.
I'll be at the studio singing the song we wrote about a girl he used to know






Zaradi

Pro

He says that my criterion requires military conflict, but that's not true. As per his definition, conquest is winning a war. But it never says what KIND OF WAR. All America has to do is win a MONEY WAR (i.e. buy out Africa before other nations buy them out), and we won the money war, and 'conquered' Africa. So I'm not killing anyone, if only providing more money to africa so that more people LIVE. So I'm going to be having mroe people, and thus more sex. So you can vote for the pro here.

His argument against my contention one is dependent on me actually attackign with violence Africa. But I already clarified that that's not what I'm doing. Contention one can clearly be extended out. If we buy out africa, we have more people than if we didn't buy out africa. More people = more sex. I'm best fulfilling the value. So his turn here doesn't apply.

He then says buying isn't conquest, but it clearly is. It's winning a money war, thus is a conquest. I still meet my burden.

He tries to argue against my Argument From Lust, but I've already clearly shown (and he conceded to) that if he attempts to refute it, he concedes he is not sexy. If he is not sexy, Royalpaladin will prefer me over him. Thus, I'll be getting more sex than my opponent, and thus will be better fulfilling the value of sex than him.

Also, I invite people to sleep with me. It'll prove that I am, indeed, more skilled than my opponent ;)

Also, his song lyrics are only a means to try and distract you from the actual issues at hand. He has a hard time getting a hard-on, and thus cannot fulfill the value of sex. Since he cannot fulfill his own value, you prima facie affirm here, since I'm best going to be able to fulfill it.
Debate Round No. 4
thett3

Con

He loses the debate because he continually defines buying out as conquering, when it isnt. The definition in round one said so.

Although, technically, no one wins since it's a troll debate and ends in a tie. I'm providing for more sex since I'm not killing people. Even if you count buying out as conquest, I still provide for more sex because that money could be used to cure diseases (Contention 3--dropped, extend all the way across)

I dont really feel like writing more, but vote con for more sex.
Zaradi

Pro

He never adresses the argument that we can win a money war (I.e. Buy out all of Africa before some other country) and "conquer" it that way. It fulfills the definition impose on me in round one. And since I'm giving the poor Africans more money, they'll be able to live longer, thus giving us more sex. This argument was also never responded to, and it proves why I'm best fulfilling the value of sex that my opponent and I have agreed upon. Without giving money to the poor Africans, my oppponent is making them live shorter lives filled with less sex than in the affirmative world, where we give them the money to buy food and water so that they can live longer, more sex-fulfilled lives. Thus, te affirmative best meets the value.

So you affirm off of wanting sex. Because, really, who doesn't want sex?
Debate Round No. 5
8 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 8 records.
Posted by imabench 4 years ago
imabench
clear votebombing by royal paladin... Its obvious she just wants to get into Thetts pants.....
Posted by thett3 4 years ago
thett3
Yeah, I was in it lol
Posted by MouthWash 4 years ago
MouthWash
There was a serious debate on this exact same topic.
Posted by thett3 4 years ago
thett3
Nice RFD imabench, Ill be sure to show her that...
Posted by Zaradi 4 years ago
Zaradi
Successful troll debate was successful.
Posted by Dik_Dawg 4 years ago
Dik_Dawg
Trolling is against the standards of DDO. These guys are legit. Sort of. Keep quiet d1a6r7s1h9i9t8. BTW that is quite an offensive username. Without the numbers it says darsh!t. I mean, who has a name like that!
Posted by d1a6r7s1h9i9t8 4 years ago
d1a6r7s1h9i9t8
You guys are the most funniest trolls i have met snice i joined debate.org
Posted by Zaradi 4 years ago
Zaradi
>:3
Mwuahahahahahahahahahhahaha
4 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 4 records.
Vote Placed by BlackVoid 4 years ago
BlackVoid
thett3ZaradiTied
Agreed with before the debate:--Vote Checkmark0 points
Agreed with after the debate:--Vote Checkmark0 points
Who had better conduct:--Vote Checkmark1 point
Had better spelling and grammar:--Vote Checkmark1 point
Made more convincing arguments:--Vote Checkmark3 points
Used the most reliable sources:--Vote Checkmark2 points
Total points awarded:00 
Reasons for voting decision: Both sides value sex. Therefore, voting against either person is a condemnation of sex. So I'll vote tie instead.
Vote Placed by royalpaladin 4 years ago
royalpaladin
thett3ZaradiTied
Agreed with before the debate:--Vote Checkmark0 points
Agreed with after the debate:--Vote Checkmark0 points
Who had better conduct:Vote Checkmark--1 point
Had better spelling and grammar:--Vote Checkmark1 point
Made more convincing arguments:--Vote Checkmark3 points
Used the most reliable sources:--Vote Checkmark2 points
Total points awarded:10 
Reasons for voting decision: LOL, I loved this debate. The money war argument made Zaradi a moving target since he did not specify it earlier. That costs him conduct. I'll give everything else equal scores.
Vote Placed by vmpire321 4 years ago
vmpire321
thett3ZaradiTied
Agreed with before the debate:--Vote Checkmark0 points
Agreed with after the debate:--Vote Checkmark0 points
Who had better conduct:--Vote Checkmark1 point
Had better spelling and grammar:--Vote Checkmark1 point
Made more convincing arguments:--Vote Checkmark3 points
Used the most reliable sources:--Vote Checkmark2 points
Total points awarded:00 
Reasons for voting decision: tbd
Vote Placed by imabench 4 years ago
imabench
thett3ZaradiTied
Agreed with before the debate:-Vote Checkmark-0 points
Agreed with after the debate:-Vote Checkmark-0 points
Who had better conduct:-Vote Checkmark-1 point
Had better spelling and grammar:Vote Checkmark--1 point
Made more convincing arguments:-Vote Checkmark-3 points
Used the most reliable sources:Vote Checkmark--2 points
Total points awarded:34 
Reasons for voting decision: THE TROLL KING RULES IN FAVOR OF...................................... ZARADI! Con FF a round and then came back in the next round by posting some songs which were very uninteresting. Zaradi showed how winning a money war would be better anyways. Con did have better sources, and I gave him spelling because Thett's sister is f*cking hot. THE TROLL KING RESTS!!!