The Instigator
imabench
Pro (for)
Winning
4 Points
The Contender
Jingle_Bombs
Con (against)
Losing
0 Points

The border US-Mexico border fence should be extended to the US-Florida border

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 2 votes the winner is...
imabench
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 8/5/2013 Category: Politics
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,374 times Debate No: 36392
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (1)
Votes (2)

 

imabench

Pro

I will be arguing that the US should Jettison the state of Florida out of the union and then subsequently build a border wall along the US-Florida border to stop the influx of crazy that illegally pours into the United States from Florida

First round acceptance only. 4000 characters
Debate Round No. 1
imabench

Pro

Sorry it took me so long, for some reason the site DOESNT UPDATE YOU WHEN ARGUMENTS ARE DUE

So here are my arguments for why Florida should be jettisoned from the US and a wall should be built between Florida and the rest of the US

1) Florida has a history of f*cking up presidential elections

In 2000 Florida was so bipolar that it couldnt decide between George Bush and Al Gore on election day and for the next month there was a flurry of recounts, trials, hearings, etc that eventually resulted in the Supreme Court stepping in and declaring Bush the winner even though Gore ended up with more votes. now we dont know if Gore would have been better then Bush, but Bush set the bar pretty f*cking low so its quite possible that he would have been better.

Fast forward to the 2012 election of Obama against Romney. Florida AGAIN couldnt make up its mind about who to vote for, but this time the election wasnt held hostage by Florida's dumbf*ckery and a winner was pronounced. Now sure even if Florida did go to Romney it wouldnt have changed the outcome, but the point is that Florida is that crazy f*cking child in the family who cant make up their mind whose decision usually f*cks up the future when they finally DO decide. NO other state causes this type of problem and the US already have enough political headaches without Florida, so why SHOULDNT Florida be kicked out?

2) Florida is bat-sh*t crazy.

Apart from holding elections hostage, Florida has a reputation for just being downright weird as sh*t. Florida is hit by more hurricanes then any other state, making Florida a whore, and Florida also has a history of zombies eating peoples faces, child murderers getting away with their crime, mexicans killing blacks just for wearing hoodies, etc etc. Florida has a sh*tload of issues that that not only holds the rest of the country back, but in fact poses quite a danger to the country, which is why not only should Florida be kicked out of the union, but a massive wall should be built along the new US-Florida border

3) Florida is basically Mexico

Anywhere south of Tamarac people only speak Spanish, and in the rest of the state they only speak redneck which to this day isnt a recognized form of English. Point is: Florida doesnt speak English. For f*cks sake even the NAME OF THE STATE ISNT ENGLISH, Its actually Spanish!

And the US does NOT tolerate spanish sounding things! (Minus California, and tacos)

If its spanish, it dont belong in America. Florida is a spanish named state that is currently taken over by Mexicans and Cubans, which makes it a spanish country just waiting to happen.... Hell it already smells like one.

All of these are reasons why a massive wall should be built along the US-Florida border. Its technically Mexico, its full of crazy sh*t, and they always f*ck up elections.

Plus would anyone really miss Florida? I mean for f*cks sake it already looks like a giant penis....
Jingle_Bombs

Con

I don"t about you sir, but I for one plan on retiring on a Florida beach resort, next to one of those fancy PGA golf courses that have aligators of course.

But here are my arguments for why we all ought to live in Florida and why the government ought to build a wall around the other states!

Reason #1 " LeBron James
In perhaps one of the most important decisions and famous b*** slaps in American history since Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Japan and I decided to leave my wife; The Chosen One, LeBron James addressed the nation in a one hour State of the Union special called "The Decision," where he declared by royal decree that "everybody but me sucks!" and "I"ma take my talents to south beach!"
The Decision by King James of course, has since led to the Third Triumvirate in Florida, with Wade and Bosh completing the most holy triple entente not seen since FDR teamed up with Winnie to drink root beer with Stalin. We mere mortals of course, being humble subjects to the goddess Nike and King James's Bible, are "Witnesses" to one of the greatest circle-jerks in American history, and it"s about time we all hop aboard the bandwagon express to Miami so that we might all worship and accept the King"s glory and everlasting kingdom in South Beach, Florida.

Reason #2 Florida elected the Greatest President in US history.
In 2000 Florida was so bipolar enough that it could decide between George Bush and Al Gore. The rest is history of course, and we all owe Florida a great debt of gratitude for electing the greatest president in US history. The only one that I can recall, that really believed man and fish could coexist peacefully.

Reason #3 Florida is basically Disney World
Florida is basically Disney World. And as you said, a part of holding Eli"n Gonz"lez hostage "snicker snicker- Florida has a reputation for just being downright weird as sh*t. Florida is hit by more hurricanes then any other state, making Florida a whore, and Florida also has a history of zombies eating peoples faces, child murderers getting away with their crime, mexicans killing blacks just for wearing hoodies, etc etc. Florida has a sh*tload of issues that that not only holds the rest of the country back, but in fact poses quite a danger to the country, which is why not only should Florida be kept in the union, but a massive wall should be built along the other American states who have no appreciation for living like their in some sort of Disney movie.
Debate Round No. 2
imabench

Pro

1) Lebron James

"We mere mortals of course, being humble subjects to the goddess Nike and King James's Bible, are "Witnesses" to one of the greatest circle-jerks in American history, and it"s about time we all hop aboard the bandwagon express to Miami so that we might all worship and accept the King"s glory and everlasting kingdom in South Beach, Florida."

Everlasting? Please..... The trio will come to an end when some racist mexican stalks and shoots one of them and then claim it was self defense, everyone knows that. We're only seeing how many championships they can win before that happens and before one of their ego's gets so big they try to go to another team to prove they can win by themselves!

Lebron, Wade and Bosh are like Mariah Carrey, Nicki Minaj, and a second Nicki Minaj who acted like good friends when they first started but soon were at each others throats. Its just a matter of time before the twitter war starts and we're all just waiting to see who throws the first tweet, assuming neither of them get shot first because come on, its florida.






2) Florida elected the greatest president in history

"we all owe Florida a great debt of gratitude for electing the greatest president in US history. The only one that I can recall, that really believed man and fish could coexist peacefully."

Oh yes, the guy who believes that 'the past is over' is our greatest president ever, LIKE ANYONE BELIEVES THAT BULLSH*T!

And furthermore, who was or wasnt the greatest president ever all depends on ones opinion. Personally I believe Obama is the greatest president ever since he ended racism and prevented the dreaded mormons from taking over the presidency.... You have NO IDEA how close we came to the apocalypse in that election o_O





3) Florida is Disney World

"Florida is basically Disney World"

A bunch of fat old people making everything terrible with prices for everything insanely high in weather that is way too f*cking hot to enjoy anything?......... Hell that only sounds like a reason for invading Florida on the grounds that they work with Al-Qaeda and are stockpiling WMD's (Weapons of Mass Diabeetus). It makes sense too since Floridas dictator (Rick Scott) is a tyrannical nutjob who looks like he's trying to kill Harry Potter http://theanonymousanthropologist.com...

'a massive wall should be built along the other American states who have no appreciation for living like their in some sort of Disney movie.'

If Florida is a disney movie then I dont think it would include serial killers and being a whore, Florida isnt Miley Cyrus ok!






And that is why Florida should be jettisoned out of the United States and a massive wall be built along the new US-Florida border.
Jingle_Bombs

Con

Everlasting? Please..... The trio will come to an end when some racist mexican stalks and shoots one of them and then claim it was self defense, everyone knows that.

Heresy much? You ask most Americans right now who the President is, and most will say it’s LeBron. Everyone who has ever watched Sports Center knows that. And LeBron James is quite possibly the most skilled shooter there ever was, and if anyone was to actually try and shoot LeBron, one would have to hope they wouldn’t get shot first.

Besides The Chosen One’s remarkable shooting ability, you would need an 80 ft wall just to keep LeBron from jumping over. So even if you could build a fence along the Florida – US border, it wouldn’t even be practical.


Florida elected the greatest president in history

President Bush was the greatest President in US history. And this really isn’t up to debate. Not only was President Bush misunderestimated growing up, but he became an Oil Tycoon, a Texas Ranger, a Top Gun fighter pilot, a Picasso painter, a brilliant orator (hall of fame member of David Lettermen’s Great Moments in Presidential Speeches), a Harvard graduate, Governor of Texas, and lastly, a two-term President of the United States. And he did it all with a 98 IQ! The lowest of any President.

When asked who his favorite President was, Master Yoda (the greatest of the Jedi) even said it was President Bush.
http://www.politico.com...

And furthermore, who was or wasn’t the greatest president ever all depends on one’s opinion.
No its not. Who is and who isn’t the GOAT depends on legacy, which can only be determined by objective historians. But in 2001, we know that President Bush had the highest approval ratings of all time, and later on in his second term, he was compared to Batman (google it) – who is by far the greatest superhero of all time. Remember President Bush is the guy who had Darth Vader as his Vice President, please tell me which other President had a cooler VP... Obama?



Why would you cut off your wang?

As PRO said in the end of the first round, Flordia is America’s wang. Who in their right mind cuts off their wang? That’s like saying you would cut off your balls for a chance to date Rosie O’Donnell.

Remember, this is the state that brought you Sea World, Disney World, NASA, LeBron James, George Bush, Jeb 2016, Rush Limbaugh, seafood, Florida oranges, the PGA Tour, Pirates of the Caribbean, Jaws, girls in bikinis, Cuban cigars, and Tim Tebow.

So I say we should keep Florida and get rid of these other phony states!

Debate Round No. 3
1 comment has been posted on this debate.
Posted by Mikal 3 years ago
Mikal
"Everlasting? Please..... The trio will come to an end when some racist mexican stalks and shoots one of them and then claim it was self defense, everyone knows that. We're only seeing how many championships they can win before that happens and before one of their ego's gets so big they try to go to another team to prove they can win by themselves! "

Dead
2 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Vote Placed by Mikal 3 years ago
Mikal
imabenchJingle_BombsTied
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Total points awarded:30 
Reasons for voting decision: Dead from laughing. Pro did a great job illustrating his points while actually making it sound somewhat serious. Still loling at his lj remark
Vote Placed by wrichcirw 3 years ago
wrichcirw
imabenchJingle_BombsTied
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Total points awarded:10 
Reasons for voting decision: Conduct to PRO, because anyone who would want to retire in Florida instead of Hawaii is fvcking nuts. =)