The secret that leads to happiness, is to try to became a better person.
First, we must consider that food, sex, trips and generally all the materialistic goods that money or fame can provide you, does not make you happy, but they just make you have a entertaining time, since happiness is a state of mind that does not decay or disappears after the fun this goods has provide you with, ends. Simply explained, entertainment, only cause you fun the time you are are entertained, meaning after the food ends, after the sex is finished or after you return from your vacations you will stop having fun and therefore you will not be joy-full anymore, but happiness is a state of mind, that accompanies you, before and after the food, before, during and after sex and before, during and after the vacations; it does not disappears after the 'entertaining' time has ended and it even endures difficult times. Even if a person, was to make the entertaining time 'permanent', meaning never stop the party, that would still not lead him to happiness, because happiness is an emotion and it does results from materialistic goods or generally physical things. Therefore, it is easy this way, to confuse happiness with just having fun. So we must consider that happiness may result from emotions and not money or fame etc. Moreover, we should think which emotions are the strongest. Which do you think, will make you feel better, eating a pizza or having a nice dinner with family and friends, having sex or making love to your significant other, being high and drunk or feeling the tranquility only love can give you? The answer is obvious. Also i don"t think it is important to emphasize, that no matter how much fun a person can have, he will not be happy as long as he has negative emotions ravaging his psychological world, like jealousy, hate or stress. All in all positive, emotions constitute happiness and not physical objects.
Second, i must ask you which would be the point to have all the goods in the world, materialistic goods like money and mental goods like love, if you were not to exploit and use them properly? Meaning, which would be the point to have all the money in the world, if someone was to spend them in drugs and end up sick and dying or to lose them in casinos or waste them generally? That would not make him happy. What would be the point, to have fame, if you were to end up like this washed up actors you don"t see in the movies anymore? Neither that would cause you happiness. Also what would be the point to have a relationship with a person you love, if that relationship were to end due to ones fault or the others? Even further, what would be the point, to have everything you want, money, love, fame if negative emotions tormented you every day (jealousy, hate, stress, guilt) never to allow you to be happy? Neither of this things would make you happy. It does not matter if you can have all the mental or materialistic goods you wish for, if you were not to use them correctly. And if you think i am over exaggerating, consider how many people had money and fame and destroyed everything by their mistakes, or were never happy with them. Think, how many persons could have been happy after they had won their significant other, or after they had made a family and they ended up poisoning their relationships or up braking up, because they had negative emotions in their heads, like jealousy etc. What a person needs in order to achieve happiness, is the knowledge of how to exploit and use the goods he already has and that kind of knowledge is called wisdom.
Wisdom is the knowledge, the ability, someone has to understand and separate what is the right from wrong and what is the good from bad. With wisdom you will be able to discover happiness, since you will be able to utilize properly everything you already have and you will be able to find the beauty of the world in small things, of our everyday life. Only then can a person, truly find happiness, because he can separate the good from the bad and properly utilize the goods (love, money etc) life has already blessed him with and of course clear him mental world (his soul if i am allowed to say for my religious readers) from all negative emotions, like jealousy or hate, that are an obstacle to finding happiness. Everything else is just an occasional and temporary time of 'having fun', that people confuse it with happiness, when they have the ability (money) to repeat it a lot of times. Also then a person is able to find happiness even if he has no materialistic goods like money, because he has all the mental goods he needs to, since he is wise. A person can acquire wisdom only when he strife's to became a better human being, when he takes care of his psychological world and tries to be good and just. Gandhi himself stated that his life where a sequence of misfortune events, that he manage to overcame with the help of Bhagavad-Ghita and in an other statement he said that he was a happy person. Why? Because Gandhi was a wise person and therefore he manage not only to pull throw all the disasters that tortured his life, but even to achieve happiness. Being wise he was able to 'utilize' all the goods he had on his life (mental goods only, because he was poor and he did not care about money) and became a symbol of tranquility. I strongly recommend to read the ' Les miserables' of Victor Hugo, to realize what happiness truly consist of.
To conclude, happiness is an emotion and therefore it is not a product of the goods or the fun time, money can provide you with, because it is a state of mind that does not decay and disappears when the fun is over, but is a product of other positive emotions (e.g. love). Furthermore, no matter how many goods (mental or materialistic) a person has, he will not be happy unless he can live with them 'properly' and not waste them and in order to achieve that, he needs to have a piece of wisdom in him. Wisdom is only achievable when a person strife"s to became good and a better character.
All in all, if you, my brother, wish to became truly happy, try to became a better person and in order to do that, you should study philosophy to find what is really good and what is bad, so you can apply that to your life. I recommend you, to read Plato, because his books contains everything a person needs to know, in order to make a just and good life and therefore be happy.
We are already the best versions of ourselves. God, The Universe, Our Creator, whatever you choose to call a higher power, made us perfect, and we are perfect at all times. It is our perception of ourselves that leads to doubt, worry, fear, frustration, and feelings of unworthiness. Happiness comes from clarity and developing a clear understanding of yourself, your thoughts, your intentions, and connectedness to your soul. While there are lessons along the way, our happiness shouldn't grow or shrink based on our ability to overcome the hurdles in life.
Now to begin with, i believe that none of us, no human at all, is perfect, because all of us suffer from negative emotions like jealousy, anger, hate etc. Sadly this is a part of our nature and it is what define us as humans... imperfections. All humans make mistakes (like the syntax in my texts haha) and bad deeds and therefore none of us can be considered perfect. The best we can do, is to try to better ourselves and became a better persons, just's and good, in order to approach perfection as much as possible, without sadly ever been able to reach it. Therefore, i do also disagree, that a person can be exactly were he is supposed to be, since we can all better ourselves and strife to became superior to what we were yesterday. I do not mean to push your self to your limits, or anything like that, but only to improve your character and your mental state. I am not saying that in order to find happiness you have to spend the rest of your life trying to became better and better in your area (that would obviously not lead you to happiness), e.g. to became the best chess player ever, but to better the most important thing you have, your character, your ego, your soul if i am allowed to say.
I will agree with you that it is important for someone to be able to love himself as he is, but as i explained i do not think that this is the road to true happiness. Perhaps it is more like a big step :) I also agree that comparing yourself with other people or norms not only does not lead anywhere near happiness but it is a barrier towards reaching it.
If god created us perfect, then perfection also includes all the evil that is spread across earth and all the bad thing people do to each other. That does not seem like perfection to me. Look around! this world is far from perfect! If we were already perfect there would be no room for improvement (i am talking about the human character) and i do not want to believe that we are doomed as a race (or even me as a being), to repeat the same mistakes again and again or to perform the same bad and evil things humanity does to itself since the beginning of history. If this is God's version of perfect, then God must be mean and that is not the case.
I think you are referring to the bible, at the point where it says that human was created by God at his image. If this is the case, consider that it does not refer to the human body, but at the human spirit. According to the religion, human is supposed to perfect in spirit only, not as in spirit and body that he is now. This is the reason that in ancient philosophical orders (e.g. Orphics) the body was described as the tomb of the spirit and the soul.
I do not disagree to the part that you state ' Happiness comes from clarity and developing a clear understanding of yourself, your thoughts, your intentions, and connectedness to your soul', because by doing this things you make yourself a better person and elevate yourself and i believe this is the road to happiness :)
“It’s surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others.”
I provide this quote to illustrate that if you are judgemental of yourself (without self love), then you will also be judgemental of others. The statement "trying to become a better person" (although very admirable!) is a process. Happiness is a state of being. Our state of being becomes our thoughts which then reflects our choices, decisions, reactions, and ultimately feelings. If we are in a mode of struggling to become a better person, then our life will be filled with struggle and we will draw in all that are in similar modes of struggle.
Peace is contentment in who we are today. Peace is true happiness. It doesn’t grow. It just is. Without it, judgement of yourself, and others begins to take over one's daily life. Every person, every event, everything we encounter, we form a judgement. Hence the positive and negative feelings that wash over us everyday, all day.
I agree that we must we learn lessons to evolve and expand our clarity? They are for us to experience, to feel the range of emotions….. and to use our connectedness to others to heal what hurts from our perception of how things should be. Those that you gravitate to are there to help you along! Comparing yourself to those you don't know, is like comparing your "uncut version" to someone else's "highlight reel". It never works. On a good day, life is great and you are happy. On a day when you've taken two steps backwards, a struggle. The ever elusive state of happiness.
"Better" implies that we are not good enough right now. If we feel that way, then what happens the next day when we fall back and make mistakes? And what it we need a few times around to learn a lesson that we can't quite get the first time? If happiness is becoming "better", the bad days could really set us back a bit.
Tying happiness to being "better" is a revolving cycle to try to get to the next level, closer and closer to what we think is "perfection". The defintion of perfection here on earth is a life without mistakes; which we all know is impossible as human beings. Becoming a "better" person is growth, from that growth, I agree, there is joy that we feel from having achieved and evolved a little more. And yes, a responsibility of every conscious adult.
But permanent happiness is a place of conscious being, where we accept that we are already everything that we are suppose to be right now, and that is simply..... well perfect.
I also agree that 'Our state of being becomes our thoughts which then reflects our choices, decisions, reactions, and ultimately feelings' as you said. But this state of being, is called a character and this is what truly affect our choices, decisions, reactions, and ultimately feelings and this is what i claim one should try to improve; and so as an obvious result change his choices etc for the better. Our character defines us, since it is ultimately responsible for our choices and generally our behaviour. Ones decision making, can by affected by his emotional state e.g. happiness or anger, but it ultimately rests on his character, which one self should try to improve, if he wish to change his life for the better, since the same choices leads to the same results, but better choices that come from a pure and better character leads to different results.
Also i disagree that trying to became a better human being, will turn our everyday life into a 'mode of struggle', since i am not suggesting to improve your skills or you career or anything else, but your character and your ego. For example, if you are an athlete i am not saying to struggle to became the best athlete in the world, or if you are a student to spend all your day reading in order to have the best grades ever, but simple to try to became good, just, think positive and clear yourself from all negative feelings (e.g. anger, hate). This way instead of filling yourself up with anxiety and negative feeling (something a person would probably cause to himself by trying to became the best athlete or student) you can fill up with positive feeling and get rid of anxiety. Because clearing yourself from negative emotions like anxiety, is a step towards becoming a better person.
Furthermore, i believe a person can find true inner piece only when he becomes a good enough character, that is happy with his life choices, has no regrets or negative emotions and is filled up with positive feelings (like love, gratitude or self love as you say). So i think that while we are talking about the same thing you mentioning only one tree (self love) and i am mentioning the whole forest ( good character, happy with his life choices,no regrets or negative emotions and filled up with positive feelings).
Moreover i do not really understand what do you mean when you say ' Without it, judgement of yourself, and others begins to take over one's daily life. Every person, every event, everything we encounter, we form a judgement. Hence the positive and negative feelings that wash over us everyday, all day'. Because, all people without exceptions make judgment of other people and events all day long (this is how is know and understand the world around us). It is a biological process. When i meet someone, for example, i judge if he/she is a good or a bad person, if he/she is funny or not, if he/she likes me or not. It does not take over my life and the same goes for anyone else, because it a part of our everyday life, it is how our brain work and functions. When i walk on the street i have to make a judgment every time i pass the road, so i wont get hit by a car. So i do not understand when you say that this judgment 'begins to take over one's daily life' and 'Hence the positive and negative feelings that wash over us everyday, all day', because it is simply not like that. We have to make every day thousand decisions and judgments in order to live and we obviously can not just stop doing that....
Again i must point out, i never said that happiness is anyway near the judgment of others or to comparing yourself with others in a daily basis.
Also, when you ask '"Better" implies that we are not good enough right now. If we feel that way, then what happens the next day when we fall back and make mistakes? And what it we need a few times around to learn a lesson that we can't quite get the first time? If happiness is becoming "better", the bad days could really set us back a bit.' the answer is simple. We should learn from our mistakes so we don't have to reaped them. That is part of becoming a better person. Every intelligent person, should from his mistakes so he will never repeat them. And also if he does the same mistake again, that is also a lesson that would lead him ultimately to never repeat the mistake again. And also making mistakes should not set you back, as you say, by any means, since mistakes has nothing to do with becoming a better character or not. Mistakes make people sad because... well they are mistakes, this is kind of their definition. Mistakes are just a lesson, that a person could exploit, so he will never repeat it.
Not making mistakes, is off by far from the definition of perfect here . When i am talking about perfection i am talking only about the individuals character, ego or soul (name it however you want). So i am talking about the ultimate good, the ultimate justest, ultimate love etc. something that only god i capable of, by definition. I am not talking about making mistakes, i am talking about loving without conditions, i am not talking about revolving cycle but for the ultimate kindness etc. I though this was clear when i was talking about the improvement of a person character. Sorry for the misunderstanding, i will try to be more specific in my next's text's.
Well as i previously stated with arguments, that we are not by far to where we are supposed to be now, since it is far from perfection (eg negative feelings like jealousy) and although generally is good for someone to accept himself, accepting himself without conditions, means accepting his flaws too, (eg accepting his negative emotions like jealousy, hate and anger) and therefore not trying to improve them!
Thank you for reading this far and actually bothering to reply to me. I appreciate it.
What a sweetheart you are. I love what you wrote. All of it! I could care less if I lose this debate or not get any points, because it is worth it to agree that the path "we choose" for our own truth, is in fact, the only truth. Yours you call "becoming better", mine I call "being loving".
What wonderful thoughts you have! We are both talking the same thing, really, and that thing is called "evolution". An evolution of consciousness. A revolution some might say, and much needed in the world today. We know down deep somewhere, that the only way to feel true happiness and peace, is by raising our vibrations with kinder thoughts (ourselve and others!), more loving actions, and forgiveness. Hence, being more conscious in the way we live. We are all energy, and one small action does make a difference.
By being introspective, as you have said, "the journey" of moving through our lessons and getting clarity is the ROAD to peace. Namaste my friend!
I actually believe that someone can became a better person through love ( and also that he cannot became better, without understanding love), because love is the best and the most positive emotion a person can have. So i am happy that you agree with me and we can understand each others point of view and therefore i must point out that i also like your though processing.
Peacefulwarrior forfeited this round.
Peacefulwarrior forfeited this round.
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