The Instigator
Drake8595
Pro (for)
The Contender
BMHTheGreat
Con (against)

The single greatest mistake a man can make in life is getting married

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 3/28/2017 Category: Philosophy
Updated: 9 months ago Status: Debating Period
Viewed: 342 times Debate No: 101476
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (1)
Votes (0)

 

Drake8595

Pro

Relationships and marriages in America are in a disastrous state. It is a proven fact that the man will overwhelmingly lose in court even when he wants to the marriage to work out. The man stands to lose everything for doing nothing wrong. A man can live a much better life staying single and not giving a woman control in his life. Statistically it is the woman who cheats on the man and the man will lose financially in court as a result. Divorce, promiscuity, and infidelity are all at record highs and will continue to increase. Erosion of your freedom. A man will no longer be able to do what he wants most of the time. He must do what his wife wants or pay the price.
BMHTheGreat

Con

Assuming this is opening statements, I would like to firstly state that I think this debate is personal for you. I do not mean to offend, but looking at your profile, this is your first debate on the website and you are 53 years old male, so the fact that this is your first debate and that you are strongly against men getting married makes it seem as if this topic hits very close-to-home. I do not mean to deter you in any way or make your claims seem more subjective, just to tell you that if this is your way of acting out your aggression and feelings from a previous spouse who was unfaithful or stole from you, I am truly sorry, and I hope this debate makes you find some closure or even a little bit of relief. Having said this, though, I will try not to pull back any punches.

Anyway, I believe that there are many positive attributes for men to get married. And, I will say, although the idea of same-sex marriage is open in this debate, I will limit it to a male-female marriage due to the statements against women in your first argument. If we want to get technical, the list of benefits can include (but are not limited to): family rates and plans for auto, health, and homeowners insurances; immigration benefits; visitation rights in jail or the hospital; the ability to create life insurance trusts; benefits for a spouse for Social Security, Medicare, disability, and veteran's programs; property inheritance rights; custody rights for biological children/orphans (even after divorce); estate and gift tax marital deductions; benefits from a spouse's pension plan; filing of bankruptcy is permitted to both spouses; funeral and bereavement leave; and many other small benefits of particular groups that are given to married couples. Not only this, but statistically if you have a child (or at least plan to in the future), a married couple creates a healthy future for their child, including about 86% chance that they will not divorce in their future marriage, and that 28% increase of household income above the poverty line.

Looking at it from a religious view, it is the bond between two "souls" under God, and is what is considered one of the holiest of ceremonies in one's life. It's the decision to forever bond two lives together "in holy matrimony".

Looking at it from a romantic view as well, it's a big step in a relationship. The highest point for a woman in her life, and if you love a woman enough to make her dreams come true with a happy marriage, that can be a benefit in itself.

Looking at it socially, a couple who is married holds stronger in society than just a "boyfriend-girlfriend" relationship. It means a lot more to people.

Of course, there can be many things that go wrong in a marriage, and a domestic partnership or regular relationship can still hold many benefits for two partners. But to say that it is "the single greatest mistake a man can make in his life" is far-fetched. A man could spend all of his money and fly to Africa with no supplies to survive and stay there in the wilderness for years on end without civilization and forever in fear of what is to come of his future. Or he could choose to become an accountant and study years of college courses for it, but not enjoy his work or even be good at it enough to land a job.

In the end, marriage has many benefits. It just depends on the relationship of the two people involved in that marriage, and the bond can only hold through honesty, integrity, commitment, and love.
Debate Round No. 1
Drake8595

Pro

Your first point about having personal experience in this matter is correct. Most debates are personal to some degree but I feel this does not in any way weaken my stand but only strengthen it. You falsely assume I am not acting out on aggression towards my previous spouse or women in general. Nothing can be further from the truth. In fact I agree with you on the fact that marriage could be one of the best things for both a man and a woman and still is for the lucky few. To clarify my point, what makes getting married in this day the greatest mistake a man can make is not even the fault of women. The state is to blame for this problem. It's not even a problem of the law as this too is relatively well written and overall fair to both parties. The problem is the liberal interpretation of the law by liberal Judges and liberal attorneys who overwhelmingly interpret the law to mean something other than what it says and support their stand on past precedence and a false pretence upon what is best for the children. The law is not about what is right or wrong and the liberal interpretation of it certainly is not.

If the reverse was true, if a man could get married to a woman and then cheat on her when marriage got tough or if he simply did not want to work anymore and then as a reward for his betrayal get full custody of the kids if he so wanted and then receive state aid, child support, alimony etc and not have to bother with the problems of work but have fun with other women and live at his ex-wife's expense then yes my stand would be just the opposite. I would believe the greatest mistake a woman could make in life was to get married.

Another point. A lot of people justify child support because it's supposed to be about taking care of the kids. If this was true, it would be great. What the money is spent on is the ex-wife's business. She can spend it on anything she wants. This is outrageous. My divorce cost me more than a million dollars and 40 years of lost earnings all because I was foolish enough to believe in the "Fairytale" All this money that was paid, not a penny of it went to my kids which I love dearly. I only got to see them every other weekend, and Sundays were cut short due to school. This meant that I only got to see them 3 days a month. They lived in filthy conditions with lice in their hair and holes in their cloths. I continued to clean them up and buy new clothing for them when I got to see them. All the money I paid went to my ex-wife who spent it on herself and having fun with boyfriends etc. She did not have to work only sponge on the system. I wish this sad story was unique or an isolated incident. It is not. In fact, I found out that many men had it even worse and many even went to jail because they were unable to pay enough for child support or other charges the judges deemed fit.

The reason I am even stating this argument it in an effort to help young men not destroy their lives like I did believing some ridiculous fairy tale of happy times. The statistics speak for itself. Again. I am not bashing on women either. I know full well that if the courts had a reverse situation that men would be doing the same thing to women. Women are not to blame here, the state is to blame. I believe that feminism has run amuck and changed one of the most precious gifts into something that is simply unwise and quite frankly dangerous for men. I wish this was not true but it is.

In closing. I agree with you on many levels. Marriage could be wonderful and has been for thousands of years. It's just that because of the State, that marriage has recently become the single greatest mistake a man could possibly make.
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Debate Round No. 2
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Debate Round No. 3
1 comment has been posted on this debate.
Posted by BMHTheGreat 9 months ago
BMHTheGreat
Sorry, I've been busy for a little bit with testing and totally forgot about my debates. For this, I sincerely apologize, and if you would like to consider this debate my loss, I completely understand. However, I'd like to take the time to point out that the name of the debate is still that the action of marriage is the "single greatest mistake a man can make in his life". You did not address the facts that other mistakes could be made that are more detrimental. You also have stated that you agree with me that marriage CAN be great and this means that for many people, marriage itself is not the problem. It is not the mistake. I believe the mistake here was the partner that is chosen. Thank you for reading.
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