The Instigator
Hyperion1
Pro (for)
Tied
6 Points
The Contender
Zaradi
Con (against)
Tied
6 Points

This Resolution Is False

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 3 votes the winner is...
It's a Tie!
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 5/31/2012 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 4 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 901 times Debate No: 23967
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (1)
Votes (3)

 

Hyperion1

Pro

I'm gonna go with . . . true. Yeah, true.

(This is a joke debate. Please don't vote.)
Zaradi

Con

Totally just realized this is 30 minutes xD well tonight's going to be a long night.

Challenge accept. Prepare to be trolled.
Debate Round No. 1
Hyperion1

Pro

If the resolution were false, then a tree falling in the forest would make a sound.

If the resolution were false, we'd have married bachelors all over the place.

If the resolution were false, then this sentence would not be incom
Zaradi

Con

As I expected, my oppponent is attempting to utilize the paradoxical nature of the resolution to baffle and confuse me. Let the audience be assured that I am not one who can be baffled, but one that baffles!

In order to solve this resolution, we must first get past the paradoxical nature of the resolution, as it hinders our ability to debate it accurately. If pro were true, the resolution would be false. But if we proved a false resolution true, what have we really done if either? However, if con is correct, then the resolution is not false, but true. This would then mean that the statement, the resolution is false, is now true, which brings us back to square one. So clearly, we have to find a way to break the paradox. How do we do this? I offer a few ways to break the paradox.

1. When in doubt, nuke the sh*t out of it until it straightens itself out. It's what we should've done to Russia in the 70's, so it would clearly work now.

2. Send it to a Jonas Brothers concert. The Jonas Brothers are flaming homosexuals, and any male person in their presence (the resolution's a dude, I had thett check) becomes instantly straight in their presence in fear of becoming like them.

3. Sic OberHerr on the resolution. Just the sight of the massive Spartan in MJOLNIR armor will make it straighten out rather quickly.

Once it has been straightened out, we will truly be able to see that con has won the debate. Thank you.
Debate Round No. 2
Hyperion1

Pro

My opponent assumes that Russia was not already nuked in the 70s. How does he know? Was he there?

That's not an idle question; according to one interpretation of quantum physics, Russia is both just fine and radioactive as hell until you actually observe it. I know I haven't. So even if Zaradi has, he's simply part of the wave function whereby Russia is both fine and nuked at the same time. The only way to collapse the wave function is to become part of it.

Thus, we must all go to Russia. Once that happens, the entire human race will have observed Russia, and it will definitely be nuked or not nuked.

To us, anyway. Not to the aliens.

Speaking of which, I think it is safe to say that when a logical paradox is brought about by a human, like "it is true that this resolution is false," the only thing that can save the universe from exploding is alien intervention. So the fact that the aliens have not yet come is proof positive that the resolution is false. On the other hand, if we're all still here at the end of this voting period, then it is false that the resolution is false, and I will lose the debate. Except that I'll have already lost or won.

My apologies to anyone inconvenienced by the breakdown of logic, and hence spacetime.
Zaradi

Con

"My opponent assumes that Russia was not already nuked in the 70s. How does he know? Was he there?"

Yes.

"That's not an idle question; according to one interpretation of quantum physics, Russia is both just fine and radioactive as hell until you actually observe it. I know I haven't. So even if Zaradi has, he's simply part of the wave function whereby Russia is both fine and nuked at the same time. The only way to collapse the wave function is to become part of it."

Not true. As long as one person observes it, then it becomes definite. Unless we want to believe in the multi-verse theory, in which case there may be parallel universes in which Russia was nukes or not nuked or both nuked and not nuked or only partially crispy with a bit of grape jelly on top and an ice cold glass of milk to wash it down with. Damm it now I'm hungry.

"Thus, we must all go to Russia. Once that happens, the entire human race will have observed Russia, and it will definitely be nuked or not nuked."

Not unless we live in alternate universes. In which case it would still be both.

"To us, anyway. Not to the aliens."

False. There could be alternate universes in which aliens do exist or don't exist, and in which they observe it or not observe it or just look out the window at it while taking a dump in the bathroom or bump into it once in a while while having wild sex with their significant other.

So overall, when we break the paradox by either biking the f*ck out of it, sending it's sorry a** to a Jo-Bros concert, or sic OberHerr on it, it will straighten out and prove that I won :D
Debate Round No. 3
1 comment has been posted on this debate.
Posted by Zaradi 4 years ago
Zaradi
So much for leaving it at a tie... -.-
3 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Vote Placed by bossyburrito 4 years ago
bossyburrito
Hyperion1ZaradiTied
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Reasons for voting decision: tiesauce
Vote Placed by TheOrator 4 years ago
TheOrator
Hyperion1ZaradiTied
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Reasons for voting decision: The con must prove it right and the pro must prove it true, that's great! Since no arguments were really made, I'll just have to go with the funniest trolling. That's why I voted for hyperion
Vote Placed by THEBOMB 4 years ago
THEBOMB
Hyperion1ZaradiTied
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Total points awarded:33 
Reasons for voting decision: ermm...