The Instigator
9spaceking
Pro (for)
Losing
1 Points
The Contender
Jonbonbon
Con (against)
Winning
3 Points

Trolling Badge

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 1 vote the winner is...
Jonbonbon
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 4/28/2014 Category: Funny
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 2,332 times Debate No: 53537
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (15)
Votes (1)

 

9spaceking

Pro

Hello, Jonbonbon, holder of the Trolling Badge! After I defeated Actionspeak (because there's no way he can win after forfeiting the 3rd round in this debate: http://www.debate.org......) I'm here to get it from you by defeating you in debating! The topic will be: The Final Page of the Internet Should be banned. I am pro, you are con. Round one is for acceptance only, and I define "Ban" as to prohibit by law and stop people from reaching the page by shutting down the website permanently!
Jonbonbon

Con

I accept, although I should make it clear I agreed to "the last page" not the "final page," and we're talking about a webpage not a website.

I wish the best of luck to my opponent. May the games begin.
Debate Round No. 1
9spaceking

Pro

Why the last page of the internet should be banned
1. The final boss of the internet hides in there
As far as we are concerned, there are many speculations about who is really the final boss of the internet. For our purposes, let us assume it is a cross between all those crazy men, Rainbow Bunchie, Derpy, Anonymous, and etc. etc. Even so, this final boss has not yet been defeated by anyone. Whoever claims so has no proof, no screen-shot, no photo, nada. It can be thus claimed that the final boss cannot be defeated. Furthermore, the final boss of the internet kills many people every day, striking in secret so that no one notices. Because so much people already die per day. It is because of the deaths that the last page of the internet should be banned.

2. Even the president doesn't support it.


I mean, seriously, all that's needed are the major of congress's vote, and Barack Obama just checks it off and....voila! The final page of the internet is banned.

3. It is completely useless (Except for evil people, who hire the final boss to kill others)
The final page of the internet is not a social website. Neither is it a search engine. All that is on it is four measly lines of text. Which is just there to fool you anyways. You'd laugh, attempt to close the window....and that's when the boss strikes, killing you. People who switch tabs have a 50% chance to instantly gain cancer. People who try to crtl+alt+delete automatically get a huge headache. Any resistance is futile. If you go outside as the website says, well, that's proof that your mind has been taken over already by the final boss. Terrible!
DO NOT CLICK: http://www.1112.net...

4. It doesn't have a lap dance, as CinemaSins would say
Hey, it doesn't even have cute anime girls or anything! As I stated in point 3, the site is completely useless to good or normal people, and it even gives danger to them. The last page of the internet doesn't even have sofcore porn! We are all angry.

5. few people can visit the page without dying, making it more useless
List of known people who can visit the last page without dying:
--9spaceking
--Chuck Norris
--The Devil
--The Creator of the Website and his good friends
--Adolf Hitler (if he was alive)
--Osama Bin Ladin (if he was alive)
--You (but only temporarily and for purposes of this debate)
--The president of the United States (he bought 10,000 freezing potions to freeze the final boss, and he succeeded--but very very narrowly. And by very very narrowly I mean he closed the website within one planck time within the time of the boss awakening.
Jonbonbon

Con

I'm going to give the run down on why my opponent has clearly bit off more than he can chew.

First of all, we can notice the clear conduct violation my opponent commits by assuming he's won the debate that precedes this debate. If he loses the other debate, then this is pointless. It's also a clear slap in the face to our dear friend Actionsspeak. Thus, it's a conduct violation.

Now, I'm going to dispute what the last page of the Internet is.

My opponent has provided us with some obscure webpage that claims to be the last page of the Internet. However, there is no proof. I could claim to be the final boss of the Internet, but that doesn't make me the final boss.

So how do we decide? Well, let's look to the front page of the Internet. That would be reddit [1]. Reddit is the front page of the Internet, and there is credibility. Why is that? You choose subreddits to subscribe to, and everything important or relevant to those subreddits is posted there. If there's something missing, you can post your own link. So this means that reddit's title "the front page of the Internet" is actually a misleading title. It really should be "your front page of the Internet."

Wait..... Dare I say it? *crowd murmurs*

*judge bangs a gavel and waits for me to speak*

What's she gonna say?
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It's all subjective!

That's right, ladies and gentlemen. The front page of the Internet is based entirely on what you want it to be! So what does that make the last page? Well if the front page is subjective, then the last page must also be subjective. You can have the late page and the front page as the same exact page. It doesn't make sense. So that means, the last page of the Internet is whatever subreddit you least visit.

If you're not a redditor, then you don't have a front page of the Internet. So it doesn't apply to you, because if you don't have a front, you can't have a back.

They're like mutually inclusive or whatever.

So basically all of what my opponent said is bogus. He doesn't even know what the last page of the Internet is. He just knows what someone calls "the last page of the Internet."

As for the final boss, everyone knows it's picture_of_a_spider [2]. A troll on reddit who would respond to everything with nothing other than a picture of a spider. He trolled so many people that he was satisfied with all of his comment karma and retired. He's gotten so much good karma that money literally falls on him for a living.

Also, much better things happen on reddit than lapdances. Museum_of_reddit will let you know what it's all about [3]. Disclaimer: You probably shouldn't go to that source if you have a weak stomach.

So to finish this up, the last page can't be banned, because you can't decide what it is to ban it.

Sources:

[1] http://www.reddit.com...
[2] http://www.reddit.com...
[3] http://www.reddit.com...
Debate Round No. 2
9spaceking

Pro

REBUTTALS
Conduct violation: do not bring that in this debate. If I lose the argument in that debate, then I lose the conduct as well in that debate. That does not matter in this battle.

My opponent has made the terrible logical errors of "Well if the front page is subjective, then the last page must also be subjective." That is wrong, unsupported, and a slippery slope fallacy. There could be a billion different sized pages in between the two! Some of them are small, like google.com, and others are SUPER LONG, like The Longest Text Ever, located on http://www.angelfire.com....
So if the internet was a book, as my opponent seems to have turned the internet to, it would be huge, and by the time we reached the last page, we would be super exhausted, too exhausted to fight the spider boss. The internet is not one page. It is not two. It is not even 42 pages, even though 42 is supposed to be the answer to everything. No. In fact, the internet is located on the [(42 ^ 42) ^ 42]th page.

"you can't decide what it is to ban it." Yes, you can decide, I posted the link up there. What, were you scaredy-cat? Hahaha.

Oh, and my opponent failed to rebut any of my five points up there. Thus, I will repeat them for the sake of annoyance and hope that my opponent will try to rebut those arguments.

Why the last page of the internet should be banned
1. The final boss of the internet hides in there (Which, my opponent claims is a spider. Okay, god, who cares what it is. We just care about how many people get killed everyday by the boss)
As far as we are concerned, there are many speculations about who is really the final boss of the internet. For our purposes, let us assume it is a cross between all those crazy men, Rainbow Bunchie, Derpy, Anonymous, and etc. etc. Even so, this final boss has not yet been defeated by anyone. Whoever claims so has no proof, no screen-shot, no photo, nada. It can be thus claimed that the final boss cannot be defeated. Furthermore, the final boss of the internet kills many people every day, striking in secret so that no one notices. Because so much people already die per day. It is because of the deaths that the last page of the internet should be banned.

2. Even the president doesn't support it.


I mean, seriously, all that's needed are the major of congress's vote, and Barack Obama just checks it off and....voila! The final page of the internet is banned.

3. It is completely useless (Except for evil people, who hire the final boss to kill others)
The final page of the internet is not a social website. Neither is it a search engine. All that is on it is four measly lines of text. Which is just there to fool you anyways. You'd laugh, attempt to close the window....and that's when the boss strikes, killing you. People who switch tabs have a 50% chance to instantly gain cancer. People who try to crtl+alt+delete automatically get a huge headache. Any resistance is futile. If you go outside as the website says, well, that's proof that your mind has been taken over already by the final boss. Terrible!
DO NOT CLICK: http://www.1112.net......

4. It doesn't have a lap dance, as CinemaSins would say
Hey, it doesn't even have cute anime girls or anything! As I stated in point 3, the site is completely useless to good or normal people, and it even gives danger to them. The last page of the internet doesn't even have sofcore porn! We are all angry.

5. few people can visit the page without dying, making it more useless
List of known people who can visit the last page without dying:
--9spaceking
--Chuck Norris
--The Devil
--The Creator of the Website and his good friends
--Adolf Hitler (if he was alive)
--Osama Bin Ladin (if he was alive)
--You (but only temporarily and for purposes of this debate)
--The president of the United States (he bought 10,000 freezing potions to freeze the final boss, and he succeeded--but very very narrowly. And by very very narrowly I mean he closed the website within one planck time within the time of the boss awakening.
Jonbonbon

Con

My opponent hasn't even apoligized for being such a jerk to actions. Just thought I'd point that out.

Now to move down, I'm going to explain why the last page is subjective. It hasn't been disputed that the last page of the Internet is the last subreddit you ever visit. This means it's different for everyone. I have personally never visited the LifeProTios subreddit. Why? Because I don't care. Some people have. In fact, it's pretty popular. I just haven't ever gone there. Thus, it is my last page, but it's on some people's front page.

So it's getting all wibbly wobbly.

I would also like to say that the Internet is not a book. It's actually a forum that has some spinoff sources, but reddit isn't a book. Although, if you went to the museum of reddit's profile and read the swamps of dagobah story, you might think differently. I don't recommend reading that story, but if you're brave, go for it.

It doesn't make reddit a book though. There's just an article internal to reddit. Back to the point, let's be honest with ourselves here.

Basically, my opponent literally can't be right.



See? Even Morgan Freeman agrees with me.

I've already addressed this final boss stuff. The final boss is retired.

I've also already addressed this whole thing about lap dances. Trust me, there is much better stuff on reddit.

So who's with me? We unite to disband this autocratic government that would ban subreddits just because my opponent doesn't like them and is scared of picture_of_a_spider! We will be victorious.
Debate Round No. 3
9spaceking

Pro

Wow, so fast! Final round already!
Okay, fine, I apologize for being a jerk, and to punish myself, if I lose in that debate, I will not obtain the trolling badge even if I win this debate. That's right. All my hard work put into this funny debate will go down the toilet. However, I can still win in this debate though, even if I lose in the other debate. I just won't get the freaking badge!

You haven't rebutted the fact that the president hates it.
How will you know that the last page of the internet is located on Reddit? Maybe it's hidden in a directory link within pornhub, or facebook, or even pointless sites.
And BTW, spiders can be very very dangerous. This peticular one was very clever and genius, as well. It was so realistically designed that Jon thought it was a real spider. However, thanks to Spider-man (what an ironic super-hero to save the day), the real identity of the final boss of the internet is revealed.


Unfortunately the spider used its ultimate attack and poor spidey was left....
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In conclusion this final boss of the internet is horrible. It has managed to kill even the great respected Spider-man! The final page of the internet should be banned, so that the final boss can no longer harm everyone.
If we don't, we disrespect the president, spidey, those two's friends, and allow the final boss to spread his terror and reign throughout the internet. Ban the last page of the internet!
And vote pro.
Jonbonbon

Con

And now for the moment you've all been waiting for: my last round.

I would like to acknowledge that I admire my opponent's attempt to pull out of this. However, it's not enough.

There's no choice at this point.



Seems pretty clear to me.

Listen now, I've explained my whole thing about reddit. It has been established that the last page of the Internet is your least visited subreddit.

As for the final boss, he's retired. I'm sorry he killed old spider, but he's done with that. There's no more.

When it comes to the quote from the president, I wasn't going to bring it up because it wasn't necessary, but the President wasn't referring to the last page of the Internet. He was referring to my opponent's trolling.



Sorry, it was just a perfect opportunity.

I know what you're thinking.



I do what I want.



My opponent officially has no case against the last page of the Internet. I mean, some people like the earthporn subreddit. It's one of the top subreddits. Some people don't even know what it is. Doesn't mean we should ban it.

So who's with me?! Subreddit equality!

Let us not fall for this trap of discrimination and fear. I'm going to officially dub this "subredditphobia." It's eventually going to become a repulsive term for people like my opponent. Unite with me.

Your last page is my front page. We have different tastes. That's it. We will tear down this tyranny! This abusive autocracy! We the people have the power to change this!

We even have Morgan Freeman on our side!



So vote con, and let's bring this down!

Thank you to all who have participated and read and voted and everything!
Debate Round No. 4
15 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by Loveshismom 2 years ago
Loveshismom
Sorry about the mistake, Jonbonbon.
Posted by Jonbonbon 2 years ago
Jonbonbon
KingDebater even lost conduct points for referring to me as a "he" in my debate with him.
Posted by Jonbonbon 2 years ago
Jonbonbon
Oh dear, people still think I'm a dude. I thought those rumors had been put to rest.
Posted by Loveshismom 2 years ago
Loveshismom
9spaceking,, I'm sorry, but I don't think u can out-troll Jonbonbon. I'll become a skillful internet troll and beat him 4 U.
Posted by 9spaceking 2 years ago
9spaceking
I WILL have my revenge!!!
Posted by Jonbonbon 2 years ago
Jonbonbon
Well, it appears that I still hold the trolling badge.
Posted by Actionsspeak 2 years ago
Actionsspeak
Still only my vote.... Well
Posted by 9spaceking 2 years ago
9spaceking
darn...if I lose this one I'm gonna have to train and try again later.
Posted by Actionsspeak 2 years ago
Actionsspeak
Thanks for the debate, I enjoyed reading it.
Posted by 9spaceking 2 years ago
9spaceking
lol con was very funny. I feel like I should have tried to discredit Morgan in the last round...
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by Actionsspeak 2 years ago
Actionsspeak
9spacekingJonbonbonTied
Agreed with before the debate:--Vote Checkmark0 points
Agreed with after the debate:--Vote Checkmark0 points
Who had better conduct:-Vote Checkmark-1 point
Had better spelling and grammar:Vote Checkmark--1 point
Made more convincing arguments:--Vote Checkmark3 points
Used the most reliable sources:-Vote Checkmark-2 points
Total points awarded:13 
Reasons for voting decision: Conduct is being deducted from Pro, for beginning this debate (About MikaI's badge system) before ending his previous one. Con used Morgan Freeman as a source and therefore clearly wins sources. The arguments were too close for me to award points although I lean Con, and it only seems right to give Pro spelling since Con said: "So it's getting all wibbly wobbly."