The Instigator
Vi_Veri
Pro (for)
Winning
78 Points
The Contender
Danielle
Con (against)
Losing
65 Points

Video Rap Battle: My Ex Is Worse Than Yours

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 24 votes the winner is...
Vi_Veri
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 9/15/2009 Category: Entertainment
Updated: 7 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 12,264 times Debate No: 9499
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (110)
Votes (24)

 

Vi_Veri

Pro

I've avoided debating my esteemed opponent for over a year now. Finally the time has come to experience our first ever (completed) debate against each other with a most interesting and entertaining topic: A video rap battle distinguishing whose ex-girlfriend is truly the more evil and/or deranged. The parameters for the debate will be as follows:

1. Each rap verse will be no more than 50 lines long
2. My opponent will post a brief introduction, and I will begin the rap battle in R2
3. There will be 2 video verses each to be posted in Rounds 2 and 3
4. Round 4 will contain the lyrics we both used in our rap

I'd like to wish my lovely girlfriend good luck, and may the one with the most lyrical soul win ; )
Danielle

Con

I'd like to thank my wonderful and formidable opponent for extending this most excellent challenge my way. Surely this will be a debate of epic proportions (I know at least I will be highly entertained). I think the only rules for this debate should be no lying... not that we need to exaggerate the extent of our ex-girlfriend's atrociousness. Before we begin, I'd like to make a few clarifications on how the voters should distribute their votes accordingly:

1. Who you agreed with before the debate - Vote Pro, cuz she's cute
2. After the debate, judge based on creativity and rhyme structure
3. As for conduct, I think those with the best insults should win this point
4. Spelling and grammar should be translated to lyrical flow (delivery)
5. Convincing arguments... self-explanatory (whose ex sounds worse)
6. As for sources, please refer to our lyrical content, which will be posted conveniently in R4

I'd also like to wish my amusing and talented girlfriend the best of luck... this will be fun :D
Debate Round No. 1
Debate Round No. 2
Debate Round No. 3
Vi_Veri

Pro

Here are the lyrics to both of my raps. Thank you, Lwerd, for the fun and entertaining debate! I wish you the best of luck in the voting round. This has been my first rap ever, and you have made it well worth it : )

FIRST RAP:

My ex is far worse than yours
no comparing Ricans to wh0res
two cents street corner -
not for what she should know
but what she's going to h0e, a two cent blow
anything for three cents, she wont say no
I might have gotten her on one
but dozens have got her on both knees
my mex ex is full blown psychiatry
drunk as usual, schizophrenic delusional
unzipped flies in five isn't unusual
you know, my ex hasn't got a proper soul
in the military learning about gun control
yet she can't seem to handle a simple phone
got me working every day to the bone
because our cellular bill was overblown
had me paying, in fact, nine-thousand dollars
yeah, you heard me right, nine-thousand dollars
now just imagine how many hollah's
she had to have done in a single day
calling to Europe to just say hey
for a couple of hours on my expense
you think that a person would have some common-sense
what you should know is my ex is like a black hole
every hooker drawn magnetically to her pull
I'm sure she had to start hiring traffic control
or possibly even some heavy riot control
as all of those mistresses be diving in
no wait, I think I should have called flood control
and then I should have thrown her to border patrol
kicking and screaming in garbled Espanol
to a country where she'd be working for only pesos
It's alright, most of them work for minimum wage though
at least down there she wont be consider a cheap h0e
In and out of a wife of some married man
Going from door to door like a delivery van
You can call 480-374-9587 too
and find out just what the brown can do for you
unfortunately she turned me into an orgasm faker
while she became the neighborhood's hit maker
watch out Babe Ruth
she's that home run base taker
so much cheating she's got my head in a spin
but that's alright, because this new girl's a win
after I was done with that Mexican from hell
got this other shawty ringing on my cell
it's like I got a message straight from Raphael
got me every night now screaming "Oh Danielle!"
more commonly, DDO, you would know her as "L"

SECOND RAP

Well, at least your ex has got two degrees
mine is sucking off seamen on Navy seas
She's got so much head, she should have a Ph.D
my ex's father was a Baptist Pastor
all the teachings of Christ seemed to have passed her
got into narcotics, did more meth than than Fergie
dabbled in heroine and some THC
now add those needles with her chronic promiscuity
and it's a d@mn mystery how this girl didn't get HIV
though she did turn up positive for hepatitis C
now we had to agree, that we, couldn't be, but you see
when Jessi, she told me, she slept with a monkey
turned my living room into the D.M.Z.
oh you got the best of me? full blown fist fight you see
should have been fu screaming that she would need a coroner
and all I see is the drunk b1tch stumblin'
grumblin, huddlin', trippin' over the ottoman
didn't so much as need to spit on her to win
at least your FedEx only delivered to you
mine was getting riders all over the country like Jet Blue
Her teeth were more crooked than Blagojevich
fumbled around in bed, couldn't catch and couldn't pitch
now she's dating a girl a foot shorter than herself
resembling to the tee like a d@mn Keebler Elf
don't know how she went there from my gorgeous self
you see, my ex was taller than the Jolly Green Giant
on her weather reports I came to be reliant
drinking a beer keg to herself, she was quite able
could of drank an Irishmen like Panda under the table
so much alcohol in her, no wonder she was always screwing a stranger
I'm sure if you gave her enough, she would even fu look close enough at her face and you would see a disaster
like that DDO tournament when Lwerd destroyed Logical-Master
there's nothing pretty there, just a losing situation
just a former has been, or a grandeur imitation
my ex has less stable than combining the Balkan Nations
allegations on her relations are far from admirations
degradation of my ego for years in her cultivation
gravitation to this black hole was something super sonic
stayed turned on and working for so long, shoulda' called her Panasonic
you think your b1tch was ebonic, well that's quite ironic
what's more ebonic then screwing a girl who's vagina is purple
someone blacker and whacker than Steve Urkel
though my ex was dumb, it doesn't take an academic degree
to know you should never, ever cheat on Vi
oh I'll always remember, remember the end of November
my ex's treason and plot
because I know of no reason, why my ex's treason
should ever be forgot
Danielle

Con

[ FIRST VERSE ]

01) My ex is a crazy Rican - a leethal combination
02) Made my life sh1tty like fecal condensation
03) She used and abused me; Stupid bit 04) Refused to stop booze and snooze cure her blues, see
05) Man that girl is a doozey, one who's fussy and choosey
06) Though not with the pvssy cuz that chick is a floosey
07) Like a store sample, there for everybody to test it
08) Your ex is a lesbian and mine is bi cuz she's desperate
09) She's older too, she's thirty, but she still needs a sitter
10) She's fat and she's dirty, a size thirty would fit her
11) A face like a gorilla with a mustasche like Hitler
12) Cops ALWAYS around; she would get pinched like a hitter
13) But no she wasn't a winner - I've done much BETTER since her
14) My new girl gets me WETTER like Mike Phelps the swimmer
15) So you compare Jess to UPS and that analogy fits her
16) But my stupid fedEX'S motto is: She "lives to deliver"
17) I mean your Mex ex working in the military sure is a joke
18) But mine is on welfare; her job is to suck di 19) See I worked to support mine too - damn, how ironic
20) But the truth is mine works to get Tails to chase her like Sonic
21) She's dumb and hooked on chronic, what she NEEDS is Hooked on Phonics
22) That bitch so histrionic only knows how to speak ebonics
23) So evil and demonic - 4 foot 11 with a complex Napoleonic
24) Clubbing it up more than music: Electronic
25) Plus the sex was sad and she tasted bad like tonic
26) Meanwhile my new girl is the bomb like atomic
27) And we're busy constructing our love so tectonic
28) Yeah she's my best friend but our bond is more than platonic
29) So yeah, where was I, oh - my ex who's surely worse than ya
30) I mean it, no lie, this witch LOOKS JUST LIKE URSELA!
31) Some kind of big sea urchant with death gripping tentacles
32) Hurt me so bad like I got punched in the testicles
33) Yet she had a hold on me and would come back with resurgency
34) Then bleed me dry and put me in a room: the Emergency
35) Man that doesn't seem like a healthy relationship, does it?
36) She owes me a ton of money too but I'm just like "Fu 37) I don't want her kicking me anything unless it's a bucket
38) I thought that bit 39) She still talks to my cousin, and tells him she loves him
40) Spitting more lies than a Fox News pundit
41) Man, easy does it; Damn, please I'm above it
42) Now she's crushing on me AND my new girl - gotta love it
43) See you say your ex is crazy but mine is literally psycho
44) Ran my other ex over with a car, try telling THAT to Geico
45) Almost got me evicted; had to use my rent money for bail
46) Always getting convicted; she couldn't keep herself outta jail
47) Now I wish I was exaggerating for the sake of this verse
48) But you met her - you know that in reality she's worse
49) Than what I could ever say on DDO and not get closed
50) So I'll sign off for now, bb, forget our X'S and hO'S

[ SECOND VERSE ]

Her name was Jasmine but she sure was no princess
Instead a welfare queen who did less than your ex
Who eventually had grown to kick her own habits
When I left my ex she was still a full blown addict
She swallowed more pills than previous semen she ingested
Got pregnant once too; uterus pre-deviant infested
And thank JESUS she got that poor FETUS aborted
It WOULDA been born a crack baby: distorted
I'm surprised she even got someone else to have sex with her
I'd undress her and confuse her with a sumo wresteler
Then I tried to cum but she couldn't get it out of me
She whored but me bored thought I'd earned an award from the academy
From the way that I'd fake it and make it believable
Best Actress in a Comedy: Lwerd the deceivable
Betrayed her with kisses so nice; I take lives like Judas
Obsessed with knives, I thought that she'd stab me like Brutus
You wanna talk about drinking? Well here this just in:
Jasmine could out-chug even Brian_Eggleston
A man, not a boy trying to play up stereotypes (Panda)
Or Charlie_Danger claiming he fucks dykes named Amanda
I mean this cocoa loco got me in a choke hold, you know
Had me by the throat but the blow had her by the nose, so
Yeah it helped her earn her degrees; she musta got them for enjoyment
She couldn't keep a job; she just collected Unemployment
Then a statistic sadistic she'd commit her crimes smiling
Go to court looking like trash and claim "Racial Profiling"
I mean how're you gonna dress like a hoe and go to your hearings?
This girl was ghetto as hell; even had her name in hoop earrings
But it's not hard to see through her: interior's transparent
Her exterior so inferior to what I see in the mirror's apparent
At 6 feet tall at least your ex is someone to look UP to
I couldn't go DOWN on mine either; I would say "Fu Then she'd bit Though I never was; at first the booze just had me distracted
Handy dandy beer goggles on made her look like Jordan Sparks
They musta blocked out half her body with stretch marks
Now you may wonder why I carry around this hostility
Wondering why I didn't end this with maturing civility
But let me tell you quite literally about her irresponsibility
Tried to ruin my new relationship; now she's got no credibility
I consider this ill-will towards me and there is no possibility
Or probability of acceptability in her lack of nobility
I just don't have the ability or tranquility to accept it
Her utility's been tested and failed now she'll live to regret it
Become BFFs and put the past behind us? Forget it
The rest is history, now she can miss me and accept it
Now why didn't I break up with her? I tried, but I had to
Make up with her, she cried, and threatened suicide too
So don't judge me in this as I'm not the one whose on trial
Our exes are and I've proven that mine is more vile
Debate Round No. 4
110 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by Vi_Veri 7 years ago
Vi_Veri
Nah, I voted the way I did because you gave yourself full marks with your Lwerd account, and then voted for yourself again with your normal account.
Posted by Danielle 7 years ago
Danielle
Boo, did you really think mine was that much worse than yours?
Posted by Danielle 7 years ago
Danielle
Lol only according to the numbers; not according to realistic assessment/voting :p
Posted by Korashk 7 years ago
Korashk
Heh, and Vi gets a 'posthumous' win.
Posted by Danielle 7 years ago
Danielle
Yeah, I fell asleep early last night and you didn't get any. Because you were busy doing your homework like a LAME-O :P
Posted by Vi_Veri 7 years ago
Vi_Veri
You of course know the repercussions of calling me lame.
Posted by Vi_Veri 7 years ago
Vi_Veri
You're so, so cool.
Posted by Danielle 7 years ago
Danielle
You're lame.
Posted by Vi_Veri 7 years ago
Vi_Veri
Talk about, talk about, RAP MUSIC! -- I hope someone gets the horrible pop reference.
Posted by Danielle 7 years ago
Danielle
Oh yeah. I'm going all out. I'm wearing a pick and everything. No doubt.
24 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Vote Placed by kaylitsa 7 years ago
kaylitsa
Vi_VeriDanielleTied
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Vote Placed by Vi_Veri 7 years ago
Vi_Veri
Vi_VeriDanielleTied
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Vote Placed by snelld7 7 years ago
snelld7
Vi_VeriDanielleTied
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Vote Placed by SaintNick 7 years ago
SaintNick
Vi_VeriDanielleTied
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Vote Placed by pbplk58 7 years ago
pbplk58
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Vote Placed by Tatarize 7 years ago
Tatarize
Vi_VeriDanielleTied
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Vote Placed by Danielle 7 years ago
Danielle
Vi_VeriDanielleTied
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Vote Placed by Nails 7 years ago
Nails
Vi_VeriDanielleTied
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Vote Placed by PoloX 7 years ago
PoloX
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Vote Placed by comoncents 7 years ago
comoncents
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