The Instigator
Marvel
Pro (for)
Losing
0 Points
The Contender
Alex
Con (against)
Winning
11 Points

Viewing porn does not have a negative impact on relationships

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 3 votes the winner is...
Alex
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 4/10/2009 Category: Society
Updated: 8 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 3,380 times Debate No: 7786
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (7)
Votes (3)

 

Marvel

Pro

Good morning, afternoon or evening. My argument is simply what is stated above, but I will clarify further.
I am arguing that this fact is true:
If one or both of the participants in a stable relationship view porn, this will not have a negative impact on their relationship (like causing tension, suspicion, or expectation, for example).
Note:
I say "view" porn, not participate in its production.
I say a "stable" relationship, not one built on insecurities
I say "porn" which in this case I mean moderately light porn that I believe the average interested person would be likely to watch, excluding the subjects of illegal or immoral crimes like rape or child porn. To clarify further, I believe "porn" to mean consenting and law-abiding adults, real or fictional.
I say "impact", meaning that the problem is caused by the viewing of porn, not by the relationship itself
And lastly, I say "relationship" which in this case I will mean a male and female who are dating or married.
I await the reply of my future opponent. I am pretty new to debate.org still, so please be gentle with me.
Alex

Con

Thank you for opening this debate.

The resolution being "Viewing porn does not have a negative impact on relationships" means two things that must be noticed.

1. That under different circumstances it does not negatively effect on relationships.
2. Because you say "Does not" that means that it never happens, nor has happened.

However I believe my opponent is confusing what should happen, and what does happen.

I think my opponent believes that the viewing of porn SHOULD not have a negative effect. Which I would agree with for the most part.

However, he says that it "DOES not have a negative effect" Which means that in any relationship out there, it would not have a negative effect.

But, because many different people have many different opinions, some being against porn, they are entitled to disliking their partner viewing porn, thus having a negative impact on the relationship.

I await the next round.
Debate Round No. 1
Marvel

Pro

Ah, I see. I thought that my argument was clear, but I will clarify further.
(I have noticed as well that you double space to make your thoughts easier on the eyes. I will do so as well)

With the parameters I put in place (on the subject of how I phrased my question) I did indeed mean that viewing porn "does" not have a negative effect.

I will give you an example; you have actually provided me with one:

Example 1: My partner likes to watch porn, but I am against it. Therefore (as my opponent has claimed), the porn has a negative impact on my relationship because it makes me dislike my partner.

I would discredit this statement, saying that this hypothetical relationship was not "stable" in the first place, and I am arguing that porn does not have a negative effect on stable relationships, as I stated in my opening paragraph.

All couples disagree. One may think abortion is wrong, the other may believe in free choice. One may think that speed bumps are stupid and annoying and the other may think that they save lives. But, for either one of them to begin to dislike the other because they think differently would be a sign of an unhealthy relationship, one based on insecurities. I mentioned this possibility in my opening argument.

A relationship wherein it is o.k. to try and control your partner's actions to tailor to your beliefs is not stable. A stable relationship is accepting, and if some things cannot be accepted (yes, I understand there are limits sometimes) there can be discussions and compromises.

My opponent, on the other hand, thinks that just because one person in the relationship does not like porn they are "entitled to disliking their partner viewing porn". If I am against eating meat am I "entitled" to dislike my partner eating meat? Is that really my decision? If I believed that converting my partner to my own vegetarian ways was important enough to get into squabbles and allow a "negative impact" on our relationship, friends of mine would contest that I must not love my partner very much. In other words I must be very insecure if I need to agree or even comment on everything my partner does (and if you have moved to one of the most private things they will do - porn - then you must mean everything).

The "impact" does not come from the porn itself. It comes from an already unstable relationship turning sour over any disagreement, in this case porn.

In this example, I hope I have demonstrated my argument. I would like to prove that porn never DIRECTLY (forgive my use of capitols) has an negative impact on relationships, with the parameters I have stated in my opening argument.

If my opponent can provide even just one example I cannot account for (while proving that it is plausible), they will have succeeded.

If not, I must assume that none exist, and I have succeeded.

It is good to know that my opponent agrees that, ideally, porn should not cause a negative impact on relationships. ("I think my opponent believes that the viewing of porn SHOULD not have a negative effect. Which I would agree with for the most part"). But they think that reality is different; no matter the good intentions, porn still ruins relationships.

I would like to show my opponent that people blame their crumbling connections on porn (because it is a convenient scapegoat) when the problem always lay in the cracks in the foundation.

If you still do not understand, please feel free to post questions about what I an asking for in the comment box so you don't have to waste another argument.

If you do understand, then I will eagerly wait to see what scenarios you dredge up!
Alex

Con

Thank you for your reply in a timely manner. I just hope the content on this debate does not get it removed. ;)

My opponents main argument: That the disliking of your partners various activities, beliefs, etc...Does not effect the relationship, and if it does, then the relationship is not stable.

Though this is not entirely relevant, i will contest the "vegetarian" analogy.

The partner that dislikes his or her partners consumption of meat is very acceptable in the following areas.

1. The partner killed the family dog and ate it.
2. BOTH persons have agreed not to eat meat, the wife is a major animal rights enthusiast and cries at the thought of animals dying. So the man, loving the woman enough to do this, told her he has given it up, The woman later finds out that the man never stopped eating it, he would just do it when shes not around.

Now, because it's a stable relationship she has not immediately divorced the man, it just brought a frown to her face. She was kind of disappointed for all the animal's deaths he has taken part in. Thus being a negative impact on the relationship.

I don't feel the need to explain the dog.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Back to the porn.

Scenario one:

A 10 year happily married couple. One day, the woman in the relationship gets up from dinner, goes to the computer and so on. She then comes back to the dinner table and resumes eating with no washing of any sort. The man noticed she has been doing that a lot lately. It only gets worse, she is doing it all the time. She is not even wanting to have sexual intercourse with the man. This would have a negative impact on the stable relationship.
________________________________________________________________________________

Although I did, I do not think that i must give a scenario in order to win.

My opponents whole argument is based on the fact that nothing one partner views as wrong could negatively effect the relationship, and if it does than the relationship was not stable, and that is simply balderdash.

Your whole argument is based on a baseless false assumption.
Debate Round No. 2
Marvel

Pro

Marvel forfeited this round.
Alex

Con

My points stand

"My opponents whole argument is based on the fact that nothing one partner views as wrong could negatively effect the relationship, and if it does than the relationship was not stable, and that is simply balderdash.

Your whole argument is based on a baseless false assumption."

I am sorry that you didn't post your last argument I was looking forward to it.
Debate Round No. 3
7 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 7 records.
Posted by thethickgreyline 7 years ago
thethickgreyline
extremely interesting.
I would say it does negatively effect a relationship.
Posted by Alex 8 years ago
Alex
And the fact that some people have morals also has something to do with it
Posted by Marvel 8 years ago
Marvel
Hello, alex_hanson911. I just wanted to personally apologize for missing my last post. I'm glad to hear that you were looking forward to it (even though you were disappointed), and my missing it was in no way a personal reflection upon you. I fear I am developing a track record for this is only my second debate and both times I have failed to post my last comment! I am in no way trying to gather sympathy but I want to tell you that the reason was a medical emergency, and due to a condition of mine that I do not wish to specify on the Internet I often have medical emergencies. This is the first time I have been able to log on since I imputed my last argument.
I see that you are winning and I agree with the voters. As I stated in my last debate, I personally consider this debate a win to my opponent, no matter how the votes may arrange themselves. It is only fair for the way I jilted you, and I'm sorry.
I enjoyed debating with you, and I hope to do it again sometime!
Sincerely,
Marvel
Posted by linkish 8 years ago
linkish
Well I think that it is pretty stupid to veiw porn in the first place if you have a partner, unless he/ she is ugly, but then why even date them, or marry, or any thing els.
Posted by s0m31john 8 years ago
s0m31john
"I say "porn" which in this case I mean moderately light porn that I believe the average interested person would be likely to watch"

Drats, that excludes me.
Posted by Ragnar_Rahl 8 years ago
Ragnar_Rahl
Depends on the value of your default libido, your d-porn libido, and their libido.
Posted by TheSkeptic 8 years ago
TheSkeptic
Of course viewing porn doesn't have a negative impact on your partner...unless he/she finds out.
3 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Vote Placed by wjmelements 8 years ago
wjmelements
MarvelAlexTied
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Vote Placed by Alex 8 years ago
Alex
MarvelAlexTied
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Vote Placed by Marvel 8 years ago
Marvel
MarvelAlexTied
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