WIFE VS HUSBAND Round 4!!!!!!! Original Opponent from Round 1
Please review Rules If you have not seen the other Rounds.
Winning Conditions...Voters simply voted for most convincing, thoughtful,creative, entertaining arguments between the husband and wife.
you know the drill Pick a name for Husband and Wife
rounds 1 through 4 argue back and forth in round 5 give last argument and resolution and small comment to debater.
Wife Comes home from a business trip, as she enters the home her husband is playing video games, she kisses him on the cheek, asks him nicely if he could spend time with her since she hadn't seen him in a week. He says okay he will but continues to play.
Wife: Hun can you please but down the game and love on me?
Husband: Ok babe, I'm just trying to get to a save point real quick my love.
Wife: No spend time with me now, am I not more important than an object?
Husband: Nooo its not that, I'm just trying to save really really quick so that I CAN spend time with you okay?
Wife: Cant you just Pause it?
Husband: Well, I could, its just..babe I promise I'm about to beat this boss I haven't saved in 9hours after this then I'm all yours, almost there, almost there, almost.....
Wife walks swiftly behind the T.V. unplugs the game system and T.V. Husband loses all his progress.
Husband: B***H what the F***k?!!!
Wife: I warned you, you didn't listen, I tried to be nice, I gave you signs but you didn't heed them.
Husband: I cant believe you, you are low, real dirty minded to do this to me, you KNOW how much time I spent on this? and you washed it all away like a victim in a hurricane. I am astonished by your lack of respect
Wife:All you do is Play games, you need to grow up!
Husband: The hell are you talking about? I been balancing it out much better than I used to are you blind and didn't notice? no appreciation. No respect.
Wife: I have noticed, but lately you got gotten back to your old roots, is there a problem at work school with the kids you are taking all that stress out on Games?
Husband: Before we got married, You TOLD ME VERBATIM that "I will never take games away from you, I want to support your hobbies" Did you F****cking lie about that? you marry me for my money? car? house? sex? what is it huh?
Wife: calm your azz down, not taking the game AWAY from you, Look just want to spend time with you I haven't seen my husband in a week, I missed you babe Damn. Let alone this is the first time I did this so stop acting like its some reoccurring bullsh*t
Husband: Haven't seen me in a week, and this is what you do....come home and b***H. Don't talk to me.
Wife's Name is Claymonia
Don't tell me not to talk to you, I will talk to you, because I am your wife, you cant keep running from confrontation. Be a man own up and face me, don't be a coward, that's not why I married you. Look I'm sorry I turned off your game, please don't look at me like I'm a F****cking monster. I just want to be with you, I had a rough week and want to be comforted by my own damn husband is that too much to ask? Surely I am more valuable then some piece of junk electronic. I am human, if you wanted a combination then why don't you trash that lame azz game and save up to buy an iBabe that way you have the best of both worlds.
I'm trying to help you grow up! I'm cool with games, I really am, but I am NOT cool with the influence they have over you. Do I need to take you to a doctor? its gotten really really bad lately Hun. Guys tend to dive into games when there is tons of stress. So yes this is a bigger issue than some stupid game. Why are you stressed? is my sex bad? were you stress because you missed me? Is it the bad grades you been getting in school? is it because our kids have no friends? Is your boss trying to give you a BJ again? Just talk with me babe Please. I'm not here to fight, so don't fight with me. Forget everything I said lets be civil okay? lets work this out, we don't have to be like the yelling screaming couples we see on T.V. or that we hear through the walls okay? Lets actually turn this around for the better, so stop being a pansy and running from confrontation and talk ok? lets be civil. alright, you married me not a electronic piece of trash junk that you waste your money on that could have been on Me or something around the house Get your priorities right ya Dummy or this house will be a catastrophe, a house divided within itself will fall. Remember Civil hunny :).....So speak the F**k Up!!
My husband’s name is Joe.
HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND???? I work for IGN! I needed to review that game!! I’m going to be fired now!!! Of course I’m stressed, I haven’t completed a game review in months!! Have you forgotten what your husband’s job is???
You’ve had a rough week? You don’t know rough. Your children are driving me nuts, running all over the place, showing off their Dumbo sized ears (which they inherited from YOU), your friends keep calling and eating our food, and I’m about to lose my job. You want to be with me? Yeah....NO.
You’re trying to help me grow up? How about you grow up! Yeah, I’ve seen those Barbie dolls you play with, that’s CREEPY. Yeah, my stress is coming from the thought of you arriving home with your Barbie and Ken making out in your doll house. Let’s be civil, pssh. Screw that. Since you’re talking about my issues, how about we talk about yours.
Umm, lets see, number 1, YOUR BALLS TO THE WALL CRAZY.
Number 2, YOUR CHILDREN ARE WEIRD.
Number 3, YOU’VE COST ME MY FREAKING JOB!!!
Number 4, YOU HAVE A TRASH NAME.
Running from confrontation? Fine, let’s confront. Explain to me why you’re so freaking MESSED UP??!!
Maybe you will learn from your mistakes or maybe you wont since you think because our kids have dumbo ears they cant be functioning members of society. You are a kid yourself to think looks matters in the first place, if it did, we probably wouldn't be together, i'd have to be drunk on uranium 238 to think you had any ounce of attractiveness. You should be thanking ME that our kids turned out as beautiful as they are now, your genes actually had a conversation begging my genes on their little knees asking me for mine to dominate them like my friend Angela does to you in arm wrestling. That's why they eat the food because you keep making the bet that if you lose she can eat our food. Context clues should tell you to not make the same bet multiple times over. But as a gamer this obvious notion is completely oblivious to you because just as in game you spend 40 hours checking the exact same corner on the map of a game pressing the x button hoping to find an item, you don't understand the concept of enough is enough. I wish you would apply this same perseverance in bed, but i'm met with unrelenting disappointment every night. You like playing games, but playing the blame game is a game you will never win.
Just tell your boss that me and you were making love and we unplugged the game on accident, they are guys they will understand and excuse you for it. So there, i saved your job..happy? the dolls aren't an issue i can get rid of them if you want me to, but just remember why i had them in the first place, because you drool all over the wishing i had their body, its not creepy you say that statement to rebel suspicion and try to dress up your morbid obsession of your attractiveness to dolls, that's the reason why i had them from the beginning, to satisfy you, just as you asked me to, i will grow up, and i'm going to do that by getting rid of these dolls, i'm growing upby learning not to feed your fantasy. I will never be a barbie that you so desire, you married me for more than that i thought. Is this a consistent mistake you make? starting life long commitments with people you hate? why you get in the relationship in the first place? Do you love dating girls who you didn't want to be with? tell me, show me, illustrate to me, DEMOSTRATE to ME!! how that makes any sense??
Look i want to work this out i really do, there been plenty of times when i been there for you, and times when i needed you, and asked you to be there for me, but you ain't been. I'm still willing to put that aside, are you going to keep throwing emotional flaming arrows at me or are you gona be a man and own up and take responsibility and be a mature adult about things. Furthermore why do you speak of our kids as just MY kids, they are yours too! stop being immature...Are you gona be a Kid or a Man? We already have kids, we don't need another one.
You trying to turn this around on me?? IT IS ON, all the bottled up emotions will explode like my diarrhea after eating your food.
I’m the cause and your the effect? Sorry, wrong way. But I wouldn’t expect logical thought from you, you couldn’t even graduate from a community college! Let me explain this in layman terms to you: I told you from the beginning I worked for IGN, your alphabet knowledge only went up to M, so you didn’t understand what the “N” was. It’s OK, I don’t blame you (community college). See where dishonesty takes me? See where being a dumb blow hard takes you??
Yeah, our kids with dumbo ears won’t be able to function in our society. Look at your ears, they’re the size of watermelons. How much have you contributed to society? Oh right, your a hag so I think you laid eggs and out hatched your dumbo kids. Those ears? They must be the hallmarks of stupidity and genetic disease. I should be thank you for how our kids turned out?? That’s hilarious, because you see, if I laid eggs and had somehow asexual reproduced, our kids would look 30 times better. That’s because my genes are better than yours, you appear to have an extra couple pair of chromosomes (in case you didn’t know, that translates into DOWN SYNDROME. You know, DOWN as in the direction, and SYNDROME as in an issue that you have).
Your friend’s name is Angela? It’s a “her”? Huh, what’s up with the beard then?
I’m a gamer, yes. And I get paid almost 1 million a year for that. You have a job? Yeah, I remember you telling me something about selling boxes to homeless people? Yeah, how’s that working out for you? I win the blame game every day. I just need to blame you, everything’s your fault, even blindness! Those who look upon you turn blind! Except for me, I guess my genes are stronger than you think (by the way, it’s GENES, not JEANS, in case you misunderstand, but you don’t own pants (no money), so it doesn’t really matter to you, does it community college?)
Tell my boss that? Not everyone’s a creeper like you. With your dolls and all? Even if you bought them for me, I was over them years ago when Halo Reach came out. Don’t pretend like you don’t need them, I hear you at 3 in the morning playing make belief. You like to pretend Ken and Barbie are you and me, but Barbie is smarter and hotter than you, so that doesn’t really work, does it? You know, I thought you were nice, but after I married you I realized the sad truth. You SUUUCK.
There have been times where you’ve been there for me? No, I’m pretty sure transvestite Angela has been there more for me than you have, you’re too busy trying to learn the letter “T”. I don’t need to take responsibility for anything, it’s all your fault!
Am I going to be a kid or a man...hmmm...better question is this: Are you going to stop being stupid and blaming everything on me, or are you going back to selling boxes (by the way, in public, don’t say those travesties of yours are mine, it might embarrass me in front of my friends (which you don’t have save beard lady)).
Dont be silly Angela is not a tranny, she has a beard because it doesn't make you feel as bad when she beat you in arm wrestling, because you would feel horrible getting beat by a girl, at least we TRY to minimize your embarrassment. Bottom line is You really need to see a doctor, there are several issues wrong with you, more issues and holes than the metal gear solid and kingdom hearts plot lines. First you make fun of your own kids, make fun of your wife, and disregard any attempt for someone to help you. If i got down syndrome it seems pale in comparison to the bionic selfish skin disease you been carrying for 10 years. Your genes can generate good looking children so can mine because you fail to realize good is not based on outside appearance, you still think beauty is on the outside, i much rather have a ugly face than lack a beautiful heart. So despite your million dollar income, doesn't mean much if are lonely at home. That is not wealth or success it is just Sad and Looked down upon humanity.
So back to the issue at hand, What are you going to do about those games, we need to find a relationship strategy where you can still play your games and we can still have time together. Have any ideas considering i only wen to community college let us see if you can propose any intellectual ideas.
Your names unique? No, it’s on the Certified List of Trash Names. It’s like your parents knew you’d be a disappointment. I was assigned a number, it was Number 1. Most people don’t have degrees? Not true, 95% of the population has a degree that’s higher than a Community College Degree. How does it feel to be in the bottom 5%, oh excuse me, how does it feel to be on the bottom seeing as you couldn’t pass Community College? Do I care about your goals/dreams? Well if the bar wasn’t 10 feet underground perhaps you could have a goal. IgnoreS girls needs. Nice try. It’s actually Imagine Games Network. Nice try.
Most of whom are quite intellectual? Yeah, I bet compared to you they are. The average citizen makes 10 times as much as you do, do you expect a living out of homeless people? You provide help to them huh? I think it’s the other way around.
Angela is not a tranny? No, I’m pretty sure she is. I saw her dating another girl with the beard still on, I don’t think it’s a fake. Or is that what she’s been telling you and you believed her?
First of all, Metal Gear Solid and Kingdom Hearts are probably worth more than your entire salary, secondly, their plot is pristine, and finally, YOU SUCK, you cost me my job, and have ruined large portions of my life, so it’s ok to make fun of you. So yeah, SUCK IT.
Good is not based on outside appearance? Yeah I agree. Too bad our kids will be avoided by others like they’ve got leprosy. I’m not lonely, I’m a gamer. I’ve got my friends online and friends at IGN who couch co-op with me. Who do you have? Oh right, Hobo Bill and Angela the Tranny.
The issue at hand. You let me play my games, and you can go play with your Barbie. How about that?
I'm sorry i cost you your job, i was willing to work extra hard for you and provide for you until you found another job, Im employed by a contractor that is number one in the U.S. i get paid, just because you don't see it doesn't mean anything. I try to share things with you about my life but your always playing games, this is why you know so little about me and just simply make stuff up because you don't know, you just THINK you know. Besides i went up to your Boss and told him the situation he said he would hire you again because of your background of consistency of dedication and hard work so things were going to be okay and back to normal and we could have made things work but now you have royally F****ked things up.
Why did you get married anyway??...You love Games You could marry tomb raider, Yuna, Kari,Nina, Kasumi, Morrigan, Talim,Mai, Cammy, or Kitana So why the did you marry Me in the midst of so many choices?
I'm giving you one more chance, your Boss said it was a mistake and we can go back to normal. Sooo what is there to lose, want to make it work? The counselor says that without your love i don't show respect and without my respect you don't show love and without your love i dont show respect. So how about we start over hun lets make it work. Start fresh. You can even Keep your life size statue of KOS-MOS in the living room instead of the closet okay?
Oh, so you acknowledge you’re wasting my time? Good, we’re getting somewhere. So, your capacity to recognize basic emotions (COMPLETE RAGE) is more valuable to you than a simple college degree which is a standard amongst Americans now? Your priorities SUCK. Looks and money? Yup, definitely a very important factor. Your lack of value on “looks” makes me feel sorry for you, you can’t see your friend the Obvious Tranny is a OBVIOUSLY a Tranny. Angela had a crush on me? GOOD GOD, that’s so scary.
Flying frogs? Frogs can’t fly. ::sigh:: I haven’t provided a practical solution? Yeah I have. GET. OUT.
You’re willing to work extra hard? I don’t think so, you haven’t worked hard on anything in your life. True, you always get paid, but your paycheck isn’t even enough to buy a couple grapes and a hamster wheel for or our creepy kids. You went to my boss? That’s weird, I thought you’ve been here the whole time, how do you go talk to him? You’re totally lying, my boss is a, lemme put this in simple terms for you: a meanie bajinnie. I’ve messed up? Please.
You can’t marry video games. ::sigh::
No chance you talked to my boss, I’ve totally lost my job. Yeah, our counsellor was also convicted of being a felon. That explains his creepy, enigmatic, crap about me needing you. I can keep KOS-MOS in the living room? Hmmm, how about I get this house you can move out, and I’ll keep him in my bedroom? This relationship hasn't worked at all, and I don't feel like salvaging it. I don't think there is anything left to salvage. Our marriage has gone down like a plane without fuel. Once again, I think I have the best solution. Get the Tranny out, take the kids and get out, and let me reach my true potential. How about that?
You keep calling Angela a tranny to try and make me disbelieve you have feelings for her, you think im stupid? i know the secret between you two, because you ashamed you slept with her after losing the bet with your friend Derek who dared you to eat raw hamburger. if none of this is making any sense then its the same as your ridiculous, disputatious, ludicrous behavior it makes no sense. Your Morals and no brainer behaviors are on a common denominator. See community college knows a thing or two. What do you know? other than being a prick?
You want to get out, your afraid of confrontation, thats why i told you to marry video game characters instead because then you wouldnt have to run since they arent real so you be marrying yourself living in your own little world, but its okay at least they know you there. All you wana do is run and get out and stonewall you will never get in a relationship with that mentality why do you think your other relationships havent worked out? havent you caught the clue? Dont accuse me of having crappy schooling when you cant even add two and two together you realize you got to do something different, your attitude is like a flat tire unless you change it, you aint going nowhere.
And yes i did talk to your boss, just because you didnt see me leave the house, didnt mean we cant communicate, have you been playing ages of the empires? why dont you use the money got stashed away to build a time machine and travel yourself back to reality. its call email. I don't need to leave the house, i'm actually surprise you were actually paying attention and watching me, for the first time you look at me. Maybe there is a little beacon in the sea of despair. Your boss said you were a good worker in the past got good stats and everything who wouldn't hire you back unless, of course you were lying about your stats and cheated someone to get recognition. I wouldn't put it past you.
Our Counsellor a felon? everyone has past, he overcame it and changed, unlike you who let your past poison your future, i'm sorry Angela got mad at you because you only lasted in bed for only 32 miliseconds but don't get mad at me for your dysfunction, i put up with it myself remember? i had o hold it for you while you......well lets not go there. Anyway listen your past is not your identity, don't become a victim of the past your better than that, you can do anything you put your mind to, focus on my words. Breathe. it okay hun. I'll take care of you. The best kind of relationship is to love that person love that person for who they are not because of what they have to offer.
Resolution: I decide to stay in relationship....i chain Husband to bed with ball and chain in his mouth. I sit give him lengthy lessons about love respect, hoping he changes, after his eyes closed, he went to sleep, but its been days ow, he still hasnt open his eyes. he must have had a good dream about all the good lessons i taught him.Aw im so happy :)
Don’t you remember my tonsil surgery. Capital letters =/= shouting (I don’t FREAKING have TONSILS you insensitive...). True, I can’t change those pillow cases you made. They don’t really look like pillow cases, they look like you sewed two udders together. At least I can change my clothes. You tried to be nice? I told the truth. It’s too late to start afresh, you’ve screwed too many things up. I’m the one with sucky priorities? Says the person without an education.
Your only friend is a tranny, though I’d rather spend time with her than with you. She’s obese. Morbidly. But she still looks nicer than you. At least I have non-creepy friends. How is it that I have terrible priorities? You don’t even want an education, lose weight, or fix that face of yours. Community college didn’t teach you anything, I taught you how to talk after I met you. Before you were babbling and drooling on the streets. You’re messed up, dude.
All I want to do is run from confrontation? That doesn’t make sense, is this not a confrontation? You’re dumb. My relationship doesn’t work out, because of others, not me. Clearly, just look at you. Even our therapist identified you as the “creeper”.
You can’t build time machines, and you don’t know how to turn on a computer. My boss said I was a good worker? That’s crap, he was lying to you, he hates me, he’s forcing me to spend time with you. That’s why he’s doing this to me.
He’s overcome his past huh? Why did I see him around an elementary school yesterday? I thought he didn’t have kids? Don’t become a victim of the past? The past shapes the future. I wish I had known more about your past, I didn’t know about that, disorder. The best relationship is to love that person? OK, good thing is I don’t love you.
You’re dumb, your attitude sucks, you won’t leave me alone, and you’re SO ANNOYING. Thus, I shoot you in the face after I finish speaking, then I bury you outside, pay a visit to the Tranny, then flee to Mexico where I live as a billionaire for the rest of my life. So happy without you :)
Thanks for the great debate!
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