The Instigator
squirtdonthurt
Pro (for)
Tied
0 Points
The Contender
ishallannoyyo
Con (against)
Tied
0 Points

WIFE vs HUSBAND ROUND 1!!!!!

Do you like this debate?NoYes+4
Add this debate to Google Add this debate to Delicious Add this debate to FaceBook Add this debate to Digg  
Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 0 votes the winner is...
It's a Tie!
Started: 7/12/2012 Category: Society
Updated: 1 year ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 2,793 times Debate No: 24684
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (24)
Votes (0)

 

squirtdonthurt

Pro

In this debate Pro, which is Me, will play the wife and Con must play the Husband. In real life you can be either gender for whoever accepts this debate Just state if you are male or female so voters can know.

Rules no curse words
it must be blotted out with #^@^ or any other symbols

This is a fun playful debate. The object is to present the best arguement in this hypothetical scenario between husband and wife. I will choose a topic and scenario and anything goes from there, you simply win by the voters selecting who had the most funniest, thoughtful, creative, entertaining argument. All you have to do is stck to the topic as best you can, the scenario though you can change from the original, no strict ground rules, only best effort to stay on topic.

You can have any rebuttal in any way shape or form, but make sure it applies with the laws of physics and nature, cant say "Well you shoud have did instant transmission and picked up the kid from school so we could have saved gas!" nothing over the top that defies logic or what we know of the world.

this debate is peculiar so Con may not fully understand what im trying to do so here is an example debate flow.

Topic excessive spending
Scenario....wife comes home with 10 backs of clothes from victoria secrets.

Husband:10 bags really? you wana turn me on but dont wana keep the lights on? i wont even be able to see your outfit it in the darK! Why are you spending thousands on clothes, when we have bills to pay?!
Wife: what, i cant work hard for something i want?
Husband: i didnt say that, but you got to set priorities or we going to be on the street!
Wife: you think im that stupid to spend that much?
Husband: You think just because something says discount, it's a rollercoaster ride to the land of Smart shopping, But no, No its not smart at all. it saves you money but it doesnt save you responsibility, you wont be able to control yourself, at this compulsive rate i dont know what your capable of.
Wife: The hell are you talking about?.....I told you im not stupid or do you honestly think i was born yesterday? maybe you thought i was born today? No point of me buying clothes if i dont have a place to put them. Of course i will have enough left for bills, perhaps with your puny little brain, didnt know that Woman think about the future more than men, stop telling me how to spend my money. i know what im doing, so shut the #@&* up!

So at this point
Pro would present argument for wife detailed instead of one liners on why she feels the way she does and why she did what she did or accuse husband of this or that
Con as Husband then responds to Wife about why He feels the way he does and said what he said or did etc.

Important Points.......

*****Debaters may respond in anyway they choose except what i listed above, cant deny logic, reason physics or laws of nature. try to the fit within the context of the scenario as best you can, but it can slowly change to something ese, but must stay on topic .***

***Again its all about entertainment but also authenticy the expressions and feelings in argument provides a realistic and fun debate but its all up to you really, but you may also Lie, twist words, of Pro or Con is all accepted treat it as a heated argument, its up to Con and Pro where they want to take it, they can settle it in the end with peace or they can explode and separate.****

*****In Round 5 after rebuttals and argument in the end the only NECESSARY part is Husband and wife must state why they chose to leave or stay in the relationship*****

*****Round 1 BEFORE argument State if you are male or female. Give your husband or wife a name. one word. also state why you have chose to participate in this debate and what do they personally think of this debate concept**********

Real Debate Below…….

Topic…..Looking at the opposite sex/or past relationships

Scenario
Husband wife get out of movie theater in the mall, Husband and wife catching escalator down to bottom floor heading to food court, as they step off the bottom steps of the escalator 10feet ahead is a woman with extremely short skirt bends over to pick up something, Husband looks at her butt but makes no gestures, woman stays bent over looks behind her and smiles at the husband.

Wife: I don't understand, why are you looking at that, am I not good enough?
Husband: huh? No babe please don't be serious, its nothing, you know you're the only one for me.
Wife: if I am the only one, why are your eyes on another woman?
Husband: please, set your insecurities aside, its starting to get annoying real quick.
Wife: Don't talk to me like im a punching bag, what kinda husband doesn't show respect?
Husband: Don't get me started your far from perfect, Look, im sorry im a guy, you want me to pluck my eyes out? It wasn't even surface attractive, its like seeing a chick in a movie, im telling you, it's nothing
Wife: that doesn't make sense, if you truly loved me I would be the only one you want to see!
Husband: I wasn't looking for it, she happen to be in my line of view, you don't get it do you? If you cant trust me why am I even here?

I am Male, i chose this topic because i thought it would provide intellectual and comical entertainment, i personally like this debate concept i have no clue where it will lead me.

Destiny's(wife) Argument
I can look at you, i know you, you want to screw her brains out dont you? if i wasnt here, the way she smiled at you, it wouldnt take you two seconds and you would have had your head in her @&*&@. You think i didnt notice, or do you care? If you loved me, you would want me and me only, other girls should look like cookie monsters on crack compare to me. If you are morally tempted now you will be later, infidelity is at the doorsteps knocking, and im not going to open it, I love you and I want to give you a chance but you shouldn't have married if you couldn't keep a commitment. You think its on a surface level, but honey this is exactly how it starts, its very subtle, bit by bit and over time when you look back and see what you have done then you will say how the @&*@ did I get here and by that time it is too late. Look lets seek counseling maybe we can fix this?
ishallannoyyo

Con

Hi, I accept this topic and it should be a blast to debate! I'm kinda confused as to what occurs during what Round and what scenario we are debating, I'm assuming it's the over-spending topic.

I am a guy.

I look forward to my opponents reply!
Debate Round No. 1
squirtdonthurt

Pro

I'm sorry bro, I didn't clarify on each individual round, I thought simply if I stated only on round 5 you had to do something different that's all I needed to say but your right I should have clarified anyway

All the rounds are the same except round 1 and 5. 1 you state you're male, female, why you like the debate etc. as I listed and then the husband rebuttal to wife,

Round 2 is just continuation of responding to arguments, and 3 and 4 the same. Use anything lying, bring up fake stories twist the words, go with the flow my friend

In round 5, you do your argument but at the end you state then if you are going to stay in the relationship or leave, and then you must state why you made the choice.

Also Con stated In Comments unfortunately he has to leave in three days, unfortunately for me, I can only respond once a day and there is 4 rounds left. I work 16 to 17 hour days so it going to be hard for me to respond more than once a day. So we won't make it in time before he leaves, If Me or Con can find a friend, family, partner to respond for us maybe we can finish it, and with a different person that will certainly spice things up lol. If there is 2 responses a day we can finish it in three days so Con won't have to forfeit or if he can find someone to take over for him, I honestly don't have anyone on my end not that I can think of would do it yet but I will ask around.

For more entertainment I will extend Wife's Argument, as we wait for Con

Look lets seek counseling maybe we can fix this? Or would you rather fix your eyes on that ugly piece trash? You don't even take the trash out at home, so why the #@&*#@ would you want to take her out? She is a skank, Look at her high heels, it's like she walking on a house and you still want that? For who, all you know, could be man who undergone plastic surgery. 32% of males in America fall victim to men faking their identity in a relationship, they thought they were in love until they decided to do the vertical dance, then it just goes downhill from there, you starting going uphill until you found what invaluable treasure, what you thought was bars of gold was actually painted blocks of Velveeta cheese. I can see now, the whole time you would be showing this dumb chick to your buddies, who aren't worth a dime not knowing she has a pole instead of a hole, you ought to be ashamed of yourself! Perhaps you used to this kind of thing, since I found your dvd stash of Asian persuasion, some of them I can't tell if they are a man or woman, maybe after watching that so much, your brain can't tell the difference, I burned those by the way, Don't ever keep something like that from me again you &@#@!@! Hear me? What do you have to say for yourself?
ishallannoyyo

Con

DAMMMMMMMMMM that chick is hawwwwwwwwt! That's what I gotta say! You say that 32% of males in America fall victim to men faking their identity huh? That explains that "flashlight" you keep bringing to bed every night that jabs me in the back! That explains why you don't want to have kids, because you can't! GAWD almighty, look at yourself! She was just in my line of view! What do you want me to do, quickly avert my eyes anytime a chick walks in the room if she isn't you?? Look at yourself, so obsessed with the fact that I like to look at people when I talk to them! Or can I not talk to other women now? Searching through my possessions and burning what's mine. How would you like it if I burned all your shoes? All your clothes? Speaking of which, look how much you bought!! That ain't your money, it's mine! I worked hard for that while you stay at home all day gossiping with your friends while you eat all the food! You're unemployed!! I'm the breadwinner in this household, you hear me? You think I can afford counselling with you buying whatever you feel like?? Why would you even want to shop at Victoria's Secrets? That crap is expensive and it doesn't make you look any prettier! Women's clothing on a guy is cross-dressing, that sure as hell doesn't turn me on. Maybe if you got off your fat a** and got a job we might be able to afford counselling to fix your "identity" issues!
Debate Round No. 2
squirtdonthurt

Pro

Excuse me? You better check yourself before you wreck yourself! If you think I am a man why are you with me? Either you like it that way or too much of a pansy to end a relationship, your too passive that's you're your peers squish you like a bug, but I was the one that came to you're rescue, because I liked you and I saw potential for you to be strong, but every once of hope I had is just about gone. I have to accommodate with your inexperience in every area, and that supposed flashlight is my toy, because it seems to prove more useful than your French fry sized @T*@&*. You can glance at other woman, fine I get that, but when you do a stare down and try to say its okay, stop acting like a child, trying to rationalize your unsuppressed temptations. You cant burn my shoes, because you haven't even figured out how to turn on the dishwasher, what makes you think you can do anything more advanced than that? You work so hard because you have to offset the difference because 60% of your income goes to that fake Tarot card reader name Daisy, I saw the business card in your barney shorts. It's a shame you got too many areas to grow in and you call me having identity issues, you don't even know what you are having to rely on such a scam tactics, why don't you come to your wife for past issues? I understand back then you paid women to sleep with you, so much to the point you cant help but look at woman even in the middle of a relationship, I'm trying to help you stop looking for BOTH our benefits. I'm here to help you if you let me, there is a difference between running from the past and putting the past behind you, when you run, the Past is standing there aiming it sights with a readied bow, waiting to pierce you the second you start running. When you put the past behind you, that means you faced it, you may be left with a scar but the past will no longer poison your future. You can overcome this obsessive eye watching towards woman, patience only lasts for so long, I will not be second best. You better get your act together or I will tell your Mom.
ishallannoyyo

Con

Why am I with you? Cause I'm too kind to divorce you! We both know you can't support yourself! How many jobs have you had in your entire life? Oh that's right, NONE. And no, being a transvestite doesn't count as a job. If it wasn't for me, you'd be out on the streets right now. You came to the rescue? No, I came to the rescue. You have to accommodate with my inexperience? I have to accommodate with your FAT A** holding me back. I could be the CEO or another big wig right now if wasn't for you. You were the one who ruined my life! I could have spent all this time you wasted of mine, writing my novel, talking to my publisher, or just relaxing! Instead, here I am, wasting my time on YOU. You know what you are? You're a steaming pile of TAUNTAUN SH*T. Thinking back, I have wasted my entire life on you, and what have you done? You've burnt through all the money I make never support me. Yeah, I do go to talk to Daisy. At least when she opens her mouth I don't GET AN EAR INFECTION. And do you know where that 40% goes? I bet you do because I don't have a clue! What is it that you tell me again? "Yours is mine and mine is yours." You know what? That's a load of BULL. I know you take my money and you don't tell me what you do with it! I bet it goes into the food at the parties you host with your "friends". I hate your friends. Gladys eats WAY TOO MUCH. Beth? Don't get me started on Beth. You're always holding me back! I don't need to know how to work the dishwasher or cook, that's what you do. It's the only thing you do other than eat and talk to your overweight and ugly friends. You know, maybe if that 40% didn't go into Gladys blubber we would afford a maid. Excuse that, I would afford a maid because you don't work, and yeah, perhaps this maid will look fine. You're here to help? BULL. I'm not running from the past, I'm running from you. Speaking of pasts, what about you? I know what you're running from. I did a little digging and I know about you, EX-CON. Don't make me tell that to your mama, oh right, SHE'S DEAD. What do you have to say about that?
Debate Round No. 3
squirtdonthurt

Pro

Have you tried listening to yourself on a tape recorder? If you did you probably would vomit because when you actually think about what you're saying, you will realize it doesn't make a lick of sense. Gladys's eats too much because she has prader wily syndrome, that's a disorder she can't help it, you are cruel, you need to get to know people before you start spouting out the mouth. Beth? Ha of course you don't want to get started with her because you know she might spill your secret that before we met, you had sex with her while she was on her period while she was eating chocolate cake watching Americans next top model she said you was so bad she had to do other things to entertain herself. And you know what? You don't hate my friends, you hate yourself because you can't have what you want, all my friends tell me you drool without realizing it when we all hang out together. One of them caught you starring at her leg for 45minutes during the movie; because it was dark you thought she didn't notice.

Okay, So you did digging, you probably got my twin sister and even if it was me, I prefer to take responsibility I would have turned myself in, that wasn't me whoever you saw you forgot you cant read remember? You failed high school you work so hard because you have no real career. I'm not an ex-con get your facts straight. Only anything remotely I did similar to that was when participated in a psychological experiment regarding how to understand a murderers mind. Lastly, The only thing you are a breadwinner of is probably street fighter, you pay the bills and little did you know I DO appreciate that, but don't try to throw me under a steam roller, I play a D**N important role in this family, I'm the one watching our 12kids, Danny, Dalton, Derek, Devon, Danielle, deetrek, David, Damien, destiny, dee dee, Delores, drake and you say I Can't Support myself? Don't make me laugh. I support all of us when I cook, when I clean, I don't even need to mention the plethora of things I do, why don't you have that witch tarot card reader who looks like Ursula from little mermaid, turn you into a woman for couple days and you can see what it's like from my end.

Again you waste your money on that scam, and she can't actually read your future you do know that right? Or you too busy looking at her boobs? In fact the only thing she can read is your wallet, I can read your future better than she can, and I foresee this marriage being shattered to pieces! I don't want it to end that way, I want to work things out, but you are making this difficult, I want for us to get along, I want things to back to the way they were, when we first met. When we met at that dance and that guy asked me to dance, and I got so excited and said yes! and then he said "Ok, hold on let me find someone to dance with you" I was so hurt, I became bitter with men in general, but you came along with your cowboy hat and bright yellow rain boots, red shorts and a sailor moon shirt, I fell in love, I love your uniqueness and how you didn't fit in just like me.

I was more mature than you and I wanted to help you grow, I knew that if I couldn't get your hotdog to grow at least I could get you to mature and we could tackle the future of our relationship using rational life strategies and setting goals and planning. We were going to be better than our peers who are still single but it looks like we might be just like them. You know what though? after all this sidetracking, just from looking at that girl In the mall, in the end you made your point very clear, you said she was hot, you didn't even hide it. So…..Why am I here, why are you here? Too kind to divorce me? No that's call stupidity; you need to decide what is best for you. My mind is made up…..
ishallannoyyo

Con

Glady's is FAT, ok? I wouldn't give a crap if she had cancer, ok? What I care about is how each pizza costs $10 and she's shoving them down her throat at 20 a minute! She cleaned out our fridge in 30 minutes!! And you aren't offended by that? Beth? I have standards. And yeah, I do hate your friends. They sicken me. And you should be the one feeling bad because if you were even remotely pretty I wouldn't need to stare at her leg (plus I wasn't staring at her leg, the boring a** movie put me to sleep).
You don't have a twin sister, you have what, 26 siblings? You're parents got lazy and named them A-Z. They decided to put a little more effort into you and named you, what was your name again? You have never taken responsibility, remember the time I spent 2 weeks in jail for a crime you committed? Remember the old guy you pushed off a bridge? Remember him? I'm illogical huh? Of course I can read, I told you that I'm an author! We've been married what, 30 minutes and you can't remember my occupation? I remembered yours, it's, oh right, UNEMPLOYED. And yes, I know you are an ex-con. Don't you lie to me! They should have put you away for life, but you did some voodoo gypsy magic. Where did you bury A-Z and your mom and dad huh? You don't need to understand the mind, just go back to play with your voodoo dolls.
You don't do anything for this family. First of all, the "family" that includes me is just me, you, and Danny. Dalton, Derek, Devon, Danielle, Deetrek, David, Damien, Destiny, Dee Dee, Delores, and Drake you all had with other guys. And they are all adults now! They don't even live in our household! I never even knew Dee Dee! I don't want them! That's eleven extra mouths to feed (as they learned how to be LAZY from their mom), not including Gladys! By the way, I'm not sure if you noticed, but you don't cook or clean. You literally do nothing. The city had to come to our house 4 times because of hygiene issues and the smell of our house was getting to the neighbours. I couldn't clean that, I needed to do some writing. You know that day where I disappeared and you thought I was having an affair? I was buried under a pile of dirty dishes that you refused to wash!
Daisy is a witch huh? At least she can hide it, you can't. With you and your gypsy magic with your gypsy friends and shanty town in our backyard. I bet you put me under a spell, that's why I married you.
That dance, I didn't go. That guy in the cowboy hat and rain boots, he wasn't me. He was my friend, Joe. You had never seen him before because you were too busy with your nose stuck in a voodoo black magic book. He purposely told you he was me, to punish me. Then I had to go out with you not to hurt your feelings because of Joe's actions. I was too nice to tell you that I wasn't him.
I don't need your help.
If you could really foresee the future, what am I going to do huh? What am I going to do? Huh? Huh? My mind is made up too. What am I going to do? You tell me. You tell me.
Debate Round No. 4
squirtdonthurt

Pro

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now you really lost it dude!!!!!! Do you have schizophrenia or something?! All this stuff your talking is baloney and since you want look at other girls why don't you take them out to eat to McDumspters! So you can order your large order of Non sense with a side order of complete utter BullSh#%! Although I don't know if you can even take any girl, to anywhere, you don't know how to show respect to a woman, Beth told me in high school the only thing you dated was your math homework on the top right hand corner.

And As you have further revealed to me and oblivious to yourself, you are a heartless imbecile, and have no compassion for people, making fun of someone with a disability, seriously? What planet did you decide to ship your brain to? Because I'm willing to buy you a new one from Walmart, but then again we don't know if that will work because none of the brains there will fit your tiny little capacity of mind. I already told you, She eats a lot because she cant help it, I pay for it and make up for whatever she does eat, she is my friend and I do the best I can for her, you know what a friend is don't you? The only ones you have left are those waiting with a morbid sense of appreciation, they only stick by you because they cant wait to take your money if your so call book gets published, little do they know they have empty hope in a fruitless endeavor. There are a lot of smart people out there who cant read, so they pay people to write for them, that's what you are doing, again in one of your pants pockets, receipt after receipt shows your transactions. Sheesh man, how much more evidence do I need that you don't know how to hide anything. That's why you cant use look at other women, you lack self control you cant hide your urges they are too strong, it was your fault you got thrown in jail for wacking off in public, you didn't cover me for any crime, that was in your recurring dream.

You are afraid of responsibility, well Guess what?! The kids are yours, you goofball, I got the dna results along time ago just I case you tried to pull something like this. You accuse me of wasting your time, you could be a Hollywood comedian with that statement. Get real! You knew full well what you were getting into, and by your own admission, you signed up for this relationship without a genuine or practical reason or purpose. I helped you in so many ways and you are completely ignorant of what I do, but its okay your ignorance will produce its own babies an you can use money on them like you do when you spend money on that Aids dating site. I would outsell you book by the thousands if I listed all the dumb things you do and how any times I had to cover for you. I tried but You left me with no choice.

Resolution:......
I wanted to continue the relationship but after persistent stupidity on my husbands behalf I have decided not to continue the relationship, the divorce papers filled out next to his application for a stripper with the Resumes Objective saying, "I may not have boobs but I can still dance!"
ishallannoyyo

Con

I do have schizophrenia... -_-

And you accuse me of being insensitive? You know of my mental illness. You should show respect for the mentally ill! Hah, like you have the money to buy anything from Wal-Mart. Maybe if you tried the dollar store. Still too expensive for you? Hmmm, you can always try to steal candy from a baby? Your daughter Dee Dee did that once. I wouldn't be surprised if you did steal candy from a baby, just like you stole my dreams and that old man's life. Besides, at least I could date my math textbook. I heard you got turned down by Social 30. Sad.

The only person taking my money is you, and Gladys. Oh, and all your dumb kids. They aren't mine! If you don't count adoption Danny isn't mine either! Those DNA results I know are false because I never had any kids because I have a chastity belt!

You've never helped me. I was on the AIDS dating site to find someone pretty with AIDS. Then I would get AIDS and die, effectively escaping from you, demon spawn. You can't write a book, your vocabulary is limited to A-Z, which incidentally were your siblings names! You know what, I have an even better idea.

Resolution:
I never wanted the freaking relationship in the first place, so I will kidnap my wife, take her into the mountains, murder her, and then return to live out the rest of my life happily while writing bestselling books and making millions without Gladys chomping on my money. To ensure that, I'll kill Gladys too. Then I'll seek treatment for my mental illness.

This debate was for pure enjoyment, I would never ACTUALLY say or do anything that I mentioned above. Thanks to my opponent for a fruitful and fun debate!
Debate Round No. 5
24 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by squirtdonthurt 1 year ago
squirtdonthurt
lol i just read this again, lol as pretty funny
Posted by squirtdonthurt 1 year ago
squirtdonthurt
Yes there will definatly be a round 2, im waiting for my question Debate to End and a wiv vs husband round 2 will definatly ensue thats why it was called round 1 : ) next time the voting period will be a week instead of 3days i forgot to change that part when i was making the debate.
Posted by ishallannoyyo 1 year ago
ishallannoyyo
Hey squirtdonthurt, do you want to have a Round 2 of this debate with the same rules, but different scenario? I think that would be fun, but if you don't want to I understand.
Posted by yolobutiwill4ever 1 year ago
yolobutiwill4ever
that has to have been one of the funniest debates i've ever seen ;)
Posted by squirtdonthurt 1 year ago
squirtdonthurt
I guess for the ones that Could not Vote maybe they can say something about who thy liked the most, here in the Comments. Royal without any bias who did you like? lol
Posted by squirtdonthurt 1 year ago
squirtdonthurt
Royal yea sucks tho we got no votes, but i think thats because many here have not done enough debates to be BALE to vote. and the ones that can do not want to or are unaware of this debate. I think in Round 2 i might get more votes, i also meant to put voting period to a week instead of 3 days.

Also Con, yes DDO is debate dot org forum there is a specific topic that you post in and copy and past link to this debate and it can try to get people to vote, i did it, it got us alot of views by 100plus but no votes, again its probaby because some are not ABLE to vote unfortunately. : (
Posted by royalpaladin 1 year ago
royalpaladin
LOL, this is the weirdest thing ever . . .
Posted by ishallannoyyo 1 year ago
ishallannoyyo
Quick question, what does DDO even stand for? Debate Dot Org? I'll post in the forums :)
Posted by squirtdonthurt 1 year ago
squirtdonthurt
try posting in DDO in forum to see if we can get some votes going i guess
Posted by ishallannoyyo 1 year ago
ishallannoyyo
You too squirt, I had a lot of fun in this debate!
No votes have been placed for this debate.
Research this debate: YouTube