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War of wits

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 12/17/2012 Category: Entertainment
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 847 times Debate No: 28315
Debate Rounds (5)
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A war of wits!
This is purely for fun and because I just love witty sayings. Basically all you do is counter my "witty sayings" with some of yours. THE QUOTES DO NOT ACTUALLY HAVE TO BE SAID BY YOU, BUT BY ANYONE. Like by a favorite comedian or author for example.
Have fun:)
Let the games begin.
Oh and... May the odds be ever in your favor. <3 :)


"Fighting for peace is like f**king for virginity." -- George Carlin
Debate Round No. 1


GeorgiaAshley forfeited this round.


"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome."
- Isaac Asimov
Debate Round No. 2


My apologies for forfeiting round 2, I do not wish to make excuses but I was caught up in some work issues.
Here you go, I will try to make up for it! ;)

Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

Graduation Speech: I would just like to thank Wikipedia and whoever the hell invented copy and paste! :)

Man is the only living being who cuts trees, makes paper, and writes "SAVE TREES" on it.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes, that way when you criticize them, you are a mile away and you have their shoes.

Whoever uses the phrase "Easy as taking candy from a baby," has obviously never tried taking candy from a baby.

Being British is about driving a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then traveling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

If at first you don"t succeed, "then skydiving is probably NOT for you.

Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot your revenge...

When you are at the end of your rope"tie a knot and swing :)

Friendships only last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority over the other.

I may never get out of this world alive but I'll die trying.

When life gives you lemons don"t be afraid to say "No thank you".

If I host a party with style, am I really hostile?
If two ants elope, are they antelopes?
If I keep standing outside, I"m I outstanding?
If I did not take a seat for a whole night, I"m I a one-night-stand...

That'll do for now... :)


Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.
--Jim Davis

If you are talking behind my back, you are in a good position to kiss my a**.

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby.
--Henny Youngman

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
--Henny Youngman

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
--Henny Youngman

You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
--Henny Youngman

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
--Henny Youngman

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.
--Henny Youngman


(I'm a big Henny Youngman fan, if you couldn't tell.)
Debate Round No. 3


Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train Americans to stand at the very edge of the pool and have them throw fish.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first. And, whatever you hit, call it the target.

Heha ;)


"You're the only guy I know who watches porn and cums when the guy delivers the pizza." (Greg Giraldo to obese comedian Ralphie May)
Debate Round No. 4


How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell "BINGO!"

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead...

If evolution is fact, why do mothers only have two hands?

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives...

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Evening news is where they begin with "Good evening", and then proceed to tell you why it isn"t...

Haha, thank you to my opponent. Thank you to my source(s)! Voters please vote PRO! XxOo


A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says 'You've been brought here for drinking.' The drunk says, 'Okay, let's get started.'
Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, 'Huh. I lost 100 pounds!'"

-- Henny Youngman

Debate Round No. 5
1 comment has been posted on this debate.
Posted by blackfirewolf 3 years ago
WTF?!!! Those first few lines are EXACTLY th e SAME as on MY WIT WAR!!! Did pro seriously just copied/pasted from me? jeez...
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