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What is love?

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 11/7/2014 Category: Philosophy
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 907 times Debate No: 64780
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (6)
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Anyone who accepts the debate, thank you very much!

Question is very simple, define it.

Rules :

24 hours

4 round

10.000 characters


Into:The world claims love is at first sight or it just happens. Which is probably why the divorce rate is about 50% as provided by the bureau of statistics and marriage 101. Love is real however and it is proven that people that have these types of loves tends to be happier and stay married longer provided by the blaze and and ton of studies that show correlations between people who go to church and have all 4 of these. There are some studies that show that even with just the bottom 3 relationships people tend to be happier and have a longer marriage.

Love is a choice and their are 4 types of love I will go over.

1. godly love/agape love =which is defined by the Greeks as godly love
2. sexual love or Eros love
3. family loves
4. brotherly love or friendship

cont. 1: love is actually a choice
I agree with you that the way love defined is false but I don't agree that it's not real. Love is a choice a human can choose to love someone. The world doesn't understand this and claims it just happens but that is false. When you love someone you trust them, you put their life either before yours or equal to yours, and you are bonded to them. Making love a choice improves relationships cause as a study from the Atlantic times shows is that when you get to know the person and understand them/rust them the relationship tends to be better. I believe love is real but it's a choice you choose to love someone or something just like you choose to hate someone or something. Hate is the pure opposite of love so both rules apply, you can either hate something or love it those emotions don't come up randomly you choose to feel those emotions. Some emotions are similar to this like you can choose to feel hopeless or you can choose to have faith or believe in something. What I am trying to say overall is that love works better if you make it a choice.

2. Love can die if you rush it
What you must understand is that if you rush love as in if you go by the worlds standards and just fall in love then you don't really understand the person or have a full connection with them so due to lack of understanding of their needs or of the person you might end up realizing you made the wrong choice simply because you didn't take time to know them and understand them.

cont 2: agape love
it is defined as a greek word in the new testament as meaning the love of god. Here is an example from the bible For God so loved (agape) the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life." (John 3:16) Also in many studies people who have a close relationship with god tend to have longer relationships. This love basically allows you to embrace the other loves better and is the type of love that keeps you from holding grudges or hating on others. If someone hits you you will not hit back. This love also results in generosity and forgiveness.

cont 3: eros/sexual/sensational love
The world mostly defines love in this category but what they don't understand is this is just a piece to a bunch of other loves that are vital to have. This love is based off attraction/sex so you can't just have this one alone cause when your spouse gets older it will wear off and relationship would go down hill. It is logical that yes this love will be included cause Bureau of statics shows that majority of people's first interest in the other sex is attraction from a distance; so yes this love can be included but it can't be alone.

cont 4: family love
A Stanford study showed that family love is the most important because it can determine how you develop and can determine your actions in the future. For example if you grow up with a family who mostly does drugs chances are you will to, or if you grow up with a family who shows compassion and gives to charity you probably will be influenced by those actions and do the same thing when you grow up. Also from birth a mom and dad nurtures the child. Family love is important to have because they can build you up and support you in your life. Your wife can be included in this love since of course with marriage she is part of your family.

5. brotherly love
This love is friendship love or brotherly love among members in church. This is a great love to have because you are more open and have people you can count on in hard times.

Conclusion: What I am trying to say today is that there are many types of love that work well together and have been proven to provide people with more happiness and more content in their lives. If you don't believe in god even if you just have family, Eros, and brotherly love you will have a better life and better relationships. So I believe that love is real but it's a choice and you choose what you love.
Debate Round No. 1


I will start with you statement that "The world claims love is at first sight or it just happens. Which is probably why the divorce rate is about 50%". Divorce isn't the cause of the first sight love, neither of "it just happens", the reason why rate of 50% divorces is the "immorality" we have now-days.
Love is indeed for some first sight, and for some it happens maybe after they have known each other for years. Now in 21-st century the only reason why people divorce is the absence of morality. You cannot have a good marriage without having a strong level of morality.

So from your point of you "What I am trying to say overall is that love works better if you make it a choice.", the choice is what will make love better. Unfortunately, love is not a choice, love is controlled by your emotions and emotions are very random.
If you could choose love, in the first place you would have the free choice of choosing your own family. You can't choose your family, but you love them, they teach you everything about education, morality, kindness and so on.
Love is related mostly to morality. Why? As we know there are families that use drugs constantly and don't raise their children in a proper way, but it is an absence of morality that his/her parents never had. If humans had a better quality of morality they would feel love purely, as love is supposed to be. Love is not a choice, only choice is the way you treat your partner. If both partners have high level of morality, and they show it of course there will be trust, loyalty, understanding and most importantly support.

2. Love can die if you rush it
You claim that if you rush love without giving it a time to understand your partner, it will die soon. Now I have to quote one of plato's theories for love ,"In Plato's eyes, love is in essence a kind of education: you couldn"t really love someone if you didn"t want to be improved by them. Love should be two people trying to grow together " and helping each other to do so. Which means you need to get together with the person who contains a key missing bit of your evolution: the virtues you don"t have.".
Today everyone believes that the true love is "If someone accepts you, for who they are and if they love you they won't try to change you", such a bad point of view. Love is indeed being improved and helping someone to be improved, because you see the lack of their virtues and try to fix them, with your support.
The reason why love dies if you rush is not because you don't understand them or they don't understand you, it is because you don't wanna be improved and be criticized by your lover. Love is more than a sympathy, it takes responsibility, it takes time. You cannot feel love, if you have a lack of moral and it is very much mutual.

cont 2: agape love

Religion and god are well related to moral. The reason we believe in god is because we are afraid of what the most powerful being in the world can do to us, and if there was no god and no punishment for what we have done there would be not a 1% of morality on most of us. Humans are greedy, and the greed is the cause of bad things unless it is used on a proper way like "greed for knowledge". Humans don't love god and religion, they fear god and so they respect religion. You cannot love what you have never seen or touched, but you can fear them and for humans fear is a very known emotion.
The God is one of the best methods to show us the morality has a big importance in life.

cont 3: eros/sexual/sensational love

This love isn't based on sex, because there is no sexual love. It is hormones which cause the sex and the erection, and hormones are a whole different thing compared to love. So there is no sexual love.

cont 4: family love

As I said biggest influence in our life, they teach us everything even it is bad or good. Family love is really important for you development.

Conclusion: Love is most-related to moral, I don't see any types of love, Love has no types doesn't matter if you love God or family, friends or girlfriend it is explained as Love. Relationships are related to moral, without moral there will be no healthy relationships, a relationship based on lies, betray and dis-honesty is a relationship of suffering.
One of my main questions, remained un-answered is "If hate is bad, why most of the time people suffer the love?".

Thank you, I will be looking forward for your reply and explanations.


This is my opponents first point: . Unfortunately, love is not a choice, love is controlled by your emotions and emotions are very random.

My opponent is getting loved mixed up with lust. Lust is random if you see a girl and you be like oh wow shes mine I can see my future with her its based off lust. That is what I am trying to say when the world says "i fell in love at first sight" if you fall for a girl off sight its based off lust.

My opponent says if you are able to choose love you can choose your family, I don't understand this argument I guess my opponent doesn't realize that you are born into a family that you don't choose, either god chooses it, or if you don't believe in god your family is just chosen randomly. So you can't choose your family which is what my opponent try's to back up. My opponent seems to think that morality leads to love but their is no link there. People with a low level of morality can actually love someone. Yes someone with a higher morality and religious based has better success with love which just backs up my first points. My opponent states only choices is how you treat your partner, but if you treat your partner with care, passion, and your always there for them then that is love so that just proves my point that love is a choice. You choose to care for that person, or provide for that person, or put that person or god before anything else. That is love not a random lust at a girl you see. If you see a girl you find attractive you just like her love doesn't randomly happen.

My opponents next argument is against my love can't rush thing however, most of it is ageing with me so I will only address part of it.

My response: Criticizing or helping your partner out is included in love being a choice. I don't see why I had to mentioned every component of love but yeah that is included in my definition of love. And my opponent agrees love can't be rushed so since it can't be rushed it is not an emotion, being sad comes in a second, being mad comes in a second, but love doesn't come in a second, love is a choice. Love comes later after you get to know the person and you decide that person is the person for you. For example lets say you are a guy in college, you see this girl from afar and you decide you like her or feel Eros towards her, you go talk to her. Later you decide if you want to date her and that goes on for a while. Once you believe she is the right one for you and you understand her and have worked on fixing, or as my opponent puts it criticizing each others faults then you decide to marry her. When you realize you love her is when you marry. Love is a choice.

My opponents next argument:
Religion and god are well related to moral. The reason we believe in god is because we are afraid of what the most powerful being in the world can do to us, and if there was no god and no punishment for what we have done there would be not a 1% of morality on most of us. Humans are greedy, and the greed is the cause of bad things unless it is used on a proper way like "greed for knowledge". Humans don't love god and religion, they fear god and so they respect religion. You cannot love what you have never seen or touched, but you can fear them and for humans fear is a very known emotion.
The God is one of the best methods to show us the morality has a big importance in life.

My response: Opponent yes you understand part of why god should be put above and that part is fear. I honestly think next round we should avoid the religious part somewhat because I doubt you will agree with what I am about to present but if it is needed to be debated over then it will be. I am apostolic so yes I believe that you must respect god. But we should also love him. My religion believes in the gift of the holy ghost. If you read the bible you would know it is the speaking of tongues have seen it happen. And we do not just fear god at my church we love and cherish him. Yes it is logical to fear him somewhat because of he is yeah powerful.. but the fear mentioned in the bible doesn't mean run away and be scared to death. It means respect and pray for him because he is a jealous god. HE wants us to praise him in the bible it even says that god will get the rocks to praise him if we don't because even the rocks know he is the mighty god. Also another part of the bible you might miss or your church might ignore, I don't know but is that agape love is actually in the bible, this argument isn't based off my opinion all four of the loves I mentioned are found in the bible. This is an argument based off statics and the bible not myself. But yeah again I agree with you that it is logical to respect gods power and not want to upset him so that doesn't affect anything, but I don't believe you should just hide from him. If you just fear him and don't love him he's more like a tiger for you that will eat you. You might as well not go to church if you don't love him and feel like he is a vicious predator that will attack you at any moment.

My opponent claims there is no Eros love.
Although this Greek term does not appear in the Bible, eros, or erotic love, is portrayed in the Old Testament book, The Song of Solomon. God is very clear in his Word. Sex outside of marriage is forbidden.
Eros definition: Eros is the physical, sensual love between a husband and wife.

Paul states this in the bible : Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (1 Corinthians 7:8-9, NIV)

Explanation of verse: Paul is pointing that it is wise to fulfill this need but only with marriage basically.

My opponent next just agrees with me on part of family love so I will leave that alone. My opponent just went with what I said their so that is left alone.

My opponents conclusion states why do must people suffer from love, and my answer is because they don't have all 4 I mentioned, go based off Eros love or sexual attraction, rush love and get married to early (big example kim Kardashian), or don't put god first so he doesn't support the marriage. Or in my religion they just don't have the holy ghost which can help hold it together. The holy ghost is mentioned in Acts 2:38 just incase anyone wants to read it. Or my opponent doesn't believe its true.
Debate Round No. 2


My opponent has been mentioning the bible as an evidence, and that is an invalid evidence given from my opponent about loves definition, since I can mention "The holy Quran" as-well but I know it is not an evidence.

My opponent has been linking the love and religion, but love is way-far of off religion. I have to correct my opponent, because he misunderstood me I never said you should hide from God, of course you will respect him and act like you love him because you fear him. Love has no relation to fear, love has no relation to religion, love has no relation to lust, love has no relation to sexual attraction. Even if bible has said there are types of love, it is not convincing me because bible has been on a constant changing as a book not very stable. No offense, I respect your religion, but I don't want to debate with someone for love over religion.

My opponent obviously has never been in love. Love is not a choice, love is very random. The reason why love is random, as I mentioned is "If there is a god, and he as-well knows love exists, so he would let us choose our family, but family is very random so it is an evidence to show to my opponent that love is random, because they did not choose who to love, neither did we? But we yet love our parent more than anything, as they do love us more than anything."
My opponent keeps believing if you don't respect religion, otherwise your marriage will be cursed and you might not ever be happy. As for me God has nothing to do with your marriage, it is even more personal than God to interrupt you there. Since God is real, and the most powerful being he is "good enough to understand the privacy, so he won't interrupting".

My opponent is misinterpreting my statements, "I am not mixing up Love with Lust, Lust is a sexual attraction as I mentioned on my previous text "This love isn't based on sex, because there is no sexual love. It is hormones which cause the sex and the erection, and hormones are a whole different thing compared to love. So there is no sexual love".
So there is not sexual love, so your argument doesn't stand because I didn't mix up love with lust, I actually explained you that love and lust are different things and they are not related at all.
Love is everything and sex, lust is nothing but sex. Big difference there you should re-consider reading more about lust, and leave religion because religion can't explain you love.

My opponent asked me to leave the religious part at the next round, so I will because I don't want the theme to loose its meaning. So I am asking my opponent not to give me love-religious related explanations about love, but he should give me his own opinion because love is different to each of us, as a term.

My opponents statement that the reason people suffer is because they don't follow his 4 steps of love, is invalid. Love is different to most of us, but what cannot be different in love is moral. So they miss the moral, which causes them pain and they suffer from what they were supposed to feel joy, peace and erection.

I have to point out your argument "My opponent seems to think that morality leads to love but their is no link there". It is impossible for you to understand love unless you will leave alone your religious beliefs as I have done the same, so we can discuss about love and not religion and god and then relate it to love. Lets have a healthy debate.

Among those who use "morality" normatively, all hold that "morality" refers to a code of conduct that applies to all who can understand it and can govern their behavior by it...

Every men and women has his/her moral. Your statement was"People with a low level of morality can actually love someone.", and it is true they can love as-well I didn't deny the love of theirs. The reason I had to explain you that love is most related to morality, is because you mentioned the 50% of divorce. It is because of the morality, you should have high level of morality and it will be enough for you to have a family whom you love and respect. I am not yet explaining anything about morality and the reasons why, you might agree with me or disagree, but don't link love to religion again please, focus on topic.

Thank you, I will be looking forward to your reply.


moneystacker forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 3


I will forfeit this round as-well


I will just respond to round 3 instead of posting voters.

My opponent states the bible changes... but I have never seen this happen. My opponent claims lust has no link to love which is a no brainer I never mentioned lust at all XD. I said the world defines it as lust but I never used lust to back up a claim so that doesn't apply to me. My opponent doesn't seem to understand that the bible it self doesn't change, just the way people interpret the bible changes, the same thing goes with the constitution.

My opponent claims religion can't explain love but I listed the ones found in the bible.

Eros love

Brotherly love

Agape love (god's love)

Family love

I mean if you bothered to look up these types of love you would find the connection but obviously you didin;t.

I never said leave god's love out clearly you are misunderstanding me again. I am saying leave religions out lik lets not talk about weather Catholicism is right or Apostolic or the holy ghost. That's what I mean cause I bought up I belived the holy ghost. So my religious loves apply just not the types of religion. So preety much my opponents whole argument claiming I said no gods love is false I just said lets not debate over who's religion is right or wrong because I wasn't sure if you believed in the holy ghost or not, and didn't want to debate over it.

My final point is is that if my opponent can some how find a way to link morality with love.. . which clearly isn't in the resolution then I am allowed to link god with love. My opponent didn't post a observation saying "no godly sources" so I can connect religion with love as I want

The resolution says "what is love" so I can define love anyway I want, I could even define love as murder if I wanted to the resolution is so broad you can define love anyway.

Clearly the debate asked for your personal belief of what love is so of course I would put my personal belief which is god's connection to love. Since I believe he created us, I believe he created love. IT's as simple as it gets. If you didn't want someone who believed in god should have stated some rules saying so, or should have put a observation saying I can only define love as the world sees it or not using religion.

For those reasons I have won this debate.
Debate Round No. 4
6 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 6 records.
Posted by moneystacker 3 years ago
my bad for forfeit I didn't relize how short of time I had to respond.
Posted by ArtMikullovci 3 years ago
Well what-ever my opponent says I will be disagreeing, except the reasonable arguments of course.
Posted by Gods_Servant 3 years ago
hmm very interesting but i dont see how this is debatable its kinda just a defining of the word
Posted by aburk903 3 years ago
Baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me, no more.
Posted by ArtMikullovci 3 years ago
Thank you very much, I agree with you, so many different definitions for love. This is what actually I want to see, the definitions that people are able to give about love, of course I will defend what I think is right, but I wont get frustrated. I want to argue with someone because I see their thoughts, which is an important factor for my brain to progress.
Posted by Blade-of-Truth 3 years ago
Good Question, but I think you'll find that "love" means different things to different people. So don't be frustrated if the definitions you receive are different from your own opinion.

I'd also recommend you post such inquiries in the Forums section rather than making a debate about it, unless you plan on arguing against your opponents definition.
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