What is your stance on Cannabulism
Debate Rounds (5)
psst... the above comments are completely sarcastic. i only accept your challenge because no one else will. bring it on!
alfred packer was a saint, i say, A SAINT! he was a rebel who dared to challenge ethics and morality. he was a god among men. everybody on this planet should love and adore him for the cannibal he is. have you ever tasted human eyeballs? they are the choicest delicacy. i'm not a huge fan of the brain, although i have tried it on occasion. the limbs are to die for. the rump isn't all that good. it's a bit chewy and surely not the thing for a cannibal on a diet.
usually i put some coal on the grill and have a backyard barbecue. it's fun to get together with friends and neighbors who love this meat as much as i do.
psst...are you convinced that i'm sick in the head by my outright lies? i sure am!
that said....going back to old hannibal....
humans are finger lickin' good! they are the best meat you can buy. i keep a well-stocked meat locker out back. it's filled with scrumptious body parts. i take one out every night for supper. want to know how i kill them? it's very simple, really. i've devised a neat and painless method.
first, i invite them over to my place, then i inject them with this lethal serum i cooked up. all they feel is a little ting in their arm as the poison takes over. next i slice them up with a standard kitchen knife. after that, i remove the intestines, stomach, esophagus, and heart. i also remove the liver, simply because i don't like liver. then i put the body in a freezer for safekeeping. oftentimes i nibble on a finger or two for a little snack. arms can easily be cooked in the ol' microwave for about fifteen minutes.
i assure you, my good man, human flesh is the greatest meat on earth. anyone who says otherwise is talking rot!
psst.... start debating! only a few more rounds left!
anyway...as mr. lechter says...
how can you say than cannibalism is immoral? i say that eating one's own species is a part of human nature! humans are the choicest delicacy around!
of course, that's not to say i don't eat other things as well. i have a well-balanced diet. to stay healthy i eat fava beans and wine. did i mention that feet are divine? they taste a bit like chicken wings, in my opinion. the only bad part about them are those pesky toenails. they're a real choking hazard once you get down to the toes.
for a casual dinner, i normally heat the old oven up to about 450 degrees. oftentimes i'll make a little "party tray". you know, the smaller parts. fingers, toes, nose, tongue, eyes. they really whet my guests' appetite. my guests, by the way, are fellow cannibals. since we share that interest, i make sure never to kill them, no matter how tempting they look. they're such fine pals, they promise never to eat me either. we're a tight-knit bunch.
i say that cannibalism is a fine practice, perfectly moral, and it fills one's stomach well. what do you have to say?
psst....start criticizing what i'm saying! we're down to the last round!
my cannibal persona's closing statement...
cannibalism has endured for thousands of years. it is a heartwarming tradition among jungle savages. american cannibals such as myself believe in keeping this practice alive. you cannot say that cannibalism is evil. it is delicious.
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