Who is better? Chuck Norris, or the Dos Equis Man?

*Trolling only*
The Dos Equis Man won the Iditarod with kittens.
He bowls overhand.
If he could cry, his tears are so manly that they consist of pure testosterone and his tears grow beards.

The Dos equis man opened a wormhole through time by crossing the streams[1]
He went back in time, dropkicked his wiener into Chuck Norris's mother, thus creating him and a paradox.
[1] the ghostbusters film.

Chuck Norris did not have a mother. Any mother would've been too busy makin sammiches for him (yes, even in the womb Chuck Norris was a bro) to give birth to him.

Besides, Chuck Norris created Ghost Busters. Chuck Norris created everything.

Your move.

Chuck Norris only has one testicle, the other one was lost to wolverine in the heat of battle, we now know it to be jupiter. This lack of testicle means that he was incapable of producing a man of such caliber as the Dos Equis man. George Lucas proved this in Star Wars. Also the Dos Equis man is older, more interesting and doesnt drink often, but when he does he only drinks high quality alcoholic beverages. Chuck Norris died at the end of return of the dragon.

Chuck Norris only has 1 testicle

This is false. While he did lose a testicle in the fight with Wolverine, he had 3 to begin with. 3-1=2 so Chuck is perfectly capable of doing anything. This was proven in the recently released biography of Chuck Norris's achievements, also known as The Avengers.

he only drinks high quality alcoholic beverages

HA! If that were true, he would be drinking Chuck Norris's piss.

Oh wait. That IS Dos Equis. My bad.

Clear win for Chuck Norris. If it isn't, Chuck Norris will split you at the molecular level via roundhouse kick.