The Instigator
QuestionGuy
Pro (for)
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0 Points
The Contender
frankfurter50
Con (against)
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Wife vs Husband Round 1!! (Rebirth of an old Series) Black Friday Special!

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 11/21/2017 Category: Entertainment
Updated: 2 weeks ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 245 times Debate No: 105233
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (16)
Votes (0)

 

QuestionGuy

Pro

Hello everyone I'm Doing a renewed version of the Wife vs Husband Series from 5 years got over 6k views, I'm the original creator. I Need your help to bring the series back! I'm using some scenarios from before because it can still go very different

To keep it simple please review the links below to see the concept of the debate
http://www.debate.org...

http://www.debate.org...

Concept
This is a fun playful debate. The object is to present the best argument in this hypothetical scenario between husband and wife. I will choose a topic and scenario and anything goes from there, you simply win by the voters selecting who had the most funniest, thoughtful, creative, entertaining argument. You can lie and make up anything you want but make sure it applies with the laws of physics and nature, cant say "Well you should have did instant transmission and picked up the kid from school so we could have saved gas!" nothing over the top that defies logic.

ALL CURSE WORDS ARE TO BE BLURRED OUT like such Sh*t or f*ck or b*tch or any other colorful words, but I wont squabble over mishaps or words I didn't think of or clarify

Round 1
I will choose the topic State the name of your Character

Round 2 though 4 counter arguments make up anything you want, add kids to the story, falsify stories about friends family, work, lie, manipulate and deceive. Anything Goes!

Round 5 Closing Remarks and State whether or not if you are going to stay in the relationship or not and explain why you made that choice in the most entertaining way possible

Scenario
BLACK FRIDAY EXCESSIVE SPENDING
After black Friday wife comes home with 10 bags of clothes

Husband looks at the 10 bags of clothing and was getting ready to explode, but then at the last second decided to keep his composure until the HP limit of his smile wears off. Wife walked in with the bags dropped them all on the table with a glitter in her eyes and smile on her face until she turned towards her husband in the living room

Wife:
Why the hell you looking at me like that for?
Husband:
I....uh, just....I'm trying to piece this together Sooo I know black Friday is an exciting part of the year, but its not so exciting if we end up on the street right? sweet every year you do this,..you use my credit card without telling me and now I'm unable to calculate the other bills. Why didn't you just ask?

Wife:
Because you would have said no, I'm tired of sitting home watching netflix D -Rated movies instead going to the movies, I'm tired of eating chickpeas quinoa and salad and burnt A** chicken. Take me out to dinner for once, its be 6months! I for once want to buy something for myself.

Husband:
Ya know, I think my patience has run out, you have bought this FOR-ONCE type thing about 17times! every year! and sometimes every month! we was literally just about to get out of debt and you blew through it like a chainsaw cutting through cotton candy, now, I'm going to have to steal toilet paper from work because you don't have your priorities straight. Don't complain about not having a new purse when you cant even buy tissue to wipe your A** and your doctor told you to wipe top to bottom and not bottom to top that why you keep getting that nasty infection, you don't listen to your doctor and you don't listen to me and then wonder why you are scratching for days!

Wife:
No your doctor just makes up stuff and tell me half truths so he can get me to come back again and look at my vagina, and You never spend anything on me! I had to do it I am a woman I need to have things I'm not going to wearing the same clothes for 80 years that just ain't gonna happen. you dumb idiot

Husband:
Pfft...So we resorting to Ad Hominems now?! I'm let that slide. Listen here is what your not understanding, I would have got you want you wanted, we just need to wait for the right time, the money wasn't sitting there so you can buy underwear people cant see, or clothes that don't fit, it was for emergencies and get caught up on bills and----omg nevermind why am I even explaining such a simple concept to you. ::sighs::

Wife's rebuttal her Name is Destiny
Yea, you better sigh, All you do is complain, maybe its time for me to find a man who knows how to take care of me and treat me right, tired of you being broke, work overtime and take care of me, what do you have to say for yourself???
frankfurter50

Con

My husband's name is Stempski. The wife's name is Dinky. No reason, they're just funny names.

Scenario
Dinky comes home from a long night of black Friday shopping. Her dress is ripped up and her face is smashed in. She has no bags of anything. Stempski is listening to a football game on the radio. he looks up after a moment, as if he didn't notice the door slam, and looks at his wife with a certain awe.

Stempski
What happened to you? You look like you just got run over by a truck, and then got dunked in a washing machine, and then you were dropped off the empire state building, and then you went into a concentration camp for a few years, and you got twisted up in barbed wire, and then you were eaten alive by ants, and then you fell out of one of those big redwood trees. So what the hell happened? And where's the frozen pizza?

Dinky
What pizza?

Stempski
The pizza I told you to get. The frozen one at Super Mart. The one with the sausages, and pineapple, and those little frickin' baloney things. You know, the little ham thingamajigs.

Dinky
Oh, yeah. That pizza. I forgot about it. I got to Super Mart, and it was Black Friday. You know, that day when everything is insanely cheap. So I just figured I'd pop in and buy a few things, and the pizza, because not going to black Friday is a huge sin.

Stempski
You're crazy. Black Friday is nothing more than a cheap advertising gimmick. If a fricking store doesn't have good prices all the time, you shouldn't go to their sales. You know there are cheap places, right? Just get me a fricking coffee pot from the thrift store. I could use that. From the way you're eating me out of house and home, I need some nice black joe to keep me up while I file my fricking income tax returns, you lugnut.

Dinky
I got in there, and I figured I wouldn't be too long. I just wanted a watch, maybe a toaster, you know, stuff that I can't get other times. But I couldn't even get in the door. It was like an ice cube of people, just pushing and shoving and grunting, and I didn't want to go for it, but I figured I probably should.

Stempski
That's how black Friday is, you moron! It's like the Purge, but in real life.

Dinky
I really had to struggle. This angry old lady on crutches was walking like a race car driver, and all these babies were screaming. I swear, these hipsters, they're just big baby factories. And it was just a fricking madhouse, and I figured I probably shouldn't, but I just pushed in deeper, into this huge labyrinth of grunting idiots, and I couldn't tell where the door was anymore...

Stempski
If we ever have a divorce, it's gonna be way better than our wedding. Cheaper, too.

Dinky
Quit, you alcoholic bum. Anyway, I saw this kid with one of those fake lightsabers, and people were throwing the dvds off the shelves. It was horrible. Even worse, the aisles weren't even normal. The goddamn stupid employees had made it into a big maze, so you couldn't get out until you had gone through every aisle. Why would they do that? It's better to be in a free moving crowd than in a trapped crowd. Oh, god, Stemp, it was something you wouldn't believe.

Stempski
You're something I can't believe.

Dinky
I got to the pizza aisle, and in that moment I was filled with rage, because you're a fricking pizza hog, and I knew I'd have to cook it once I got back, and I'd get less than half...

Stempski
You're pretty smart, you brainless chick.

Dinky
But the pizza aisle was empty, nothing, jack squat, just a worthless row of freezers, so I turned away, and this fat guy plowed his shopping cart into me, and rammed me into the tuna fish, and the tuna fish covered me in a big pile, and some of the cans started leaking, and the fish got all over me...

Stempski
Wow, so that's why you smell better.

Dinky
And then I realized I had to pee, but the bathroom was ten meters away from me, and it was surrounded by a bunch of people dressed up like The Simpsons, and there was a mile foot line coming out of it, and some people were just pooping on the floor, there were chamber pots in some places, it was so bad... so I just decided to wet my pants. To hell with it.

Stempski
You disgusting idiot.

Dinky
I got a few things, and I got out of the store, but then this guy in a BMW mowed me over and flattened everything, so I got out of it with only a few concussions and lacerations, and here I am. No pizza, no toaster, nothing.

Stempski
But you still bought stuff with my money?

Dinky
Yeah...

Stempski
The money I sit in a cubicle five weeks to get?

Dinky
yes...

Stempski
I've been waiting for this to happen for years.

Dinky
You're happy?

Stempski
Yeah, because now I can divorce you and people will still like me.
Debate Round No. 1
QuestionGuy

Pro

Con has full understanding now of debate flow for all viewers in case any further confusion feel free to check out the original
http://www.debate.org...

For viewers as well that was confused here is a simpler explanation
Pro and Con is the husband or wife, I am Pro and I am the wife and Con is the husband, The Wife's name is Karmela.
I pick a scenario and then Con should then respond and react off of the Wife's argument and then Pro will respond and react off CON and this goes back and forth like this until round 5 with a conclusion if we will stay in the marriage or not and why

Round 2, Slight hiccup on round 1 but no worries let us continue :) VOTERS do not count anything in Round 1 against me or con, it was a simply misunderstanding my approach and explanation of the debate was off.

CON don't be soft make sure you a vicious lol seriously be as mean as possible and entertaining as you was and take it to next level if you want

Scenario Husband Works hard and wife is not Appreciated of it

Husband got a job offer that pays 6times as more than they make now, but its located in another state, the wife doesn't want him to move because she loves the school she attends, Husband thinks she only cares about herself, he proposes they move just for a little while and then come back but when she finds out there is a school she could like in the state where his new job is she was considering it but they have a baby on the way she fears it may be too stressful for a move far away from family and her job not be transferable and their current child who is 7 she wants to keep the child in the an area near her family. The Husband comes home one day and the boss tells him he has 2weeks to make a decision or he loses the job, The wife tries to convince him to stay....

Wife's name is Karmela

Okay....listen, I understand having a job is important, and having a job that pays more than we can imagine, can take care of the family without stress but I still think we should re think this.......its not about money, I don't have alot but I'm happy where I am, because I have you,...YOU is all I need not money. I understand you are concerned babe, and well, maybe you think because I am pregnant my emotions are in a rut and I lack judgement, but I promise if you do this, its going to be a bad move. Please think of your children....and also, I signed us up for the Maury show because I'm not even sure if the first born is even yours...and Umm yea sorry I dropped that bomb on you just now.....At least I'm honest, unlike you who I had to find out through your ex girlfriend about your new job. Is she your information database now instead of me? you are the sticking your hotdog of inside me, not her. So then why would you give her inside scoop when you are the one that's inside of me:?? explain that to me ya dummy!

Anyway, I'm going to give you an ultimatum, if you move, I'm keeping the kids, and if you don't move, I will let you sleep with your ex girlfriend and me at the same time, fair deal right that's like a mans dream! and if you try to move and take the ex girlfriend and the kids, then I'm going to get my lawyer on you about that incident from 8 years ago when you stole copies of the Cosmo Girl magazine to sell to pay the bills because you wasted money on that life size blow up Doll, I hated that year when I lived in dark covering up your secret, I rather have lived in the dark without electricity then been overshadow with moral darkness in my heart, I told you I was about to get that settlement from the bank when your boss was staring at my boobs, that class action lawsuit would have paid for everything you wouldn't need to take a higher paying job but Noooo you wouldn't listen......I could have brought you the new Blow up doll that came out, but you were impatient I love you but what am I going to do with you?
frankfurter50

Con

I don't care about having a family. I just want money. Money is all I care about. Do you Like Donald Trump? He's a great person, and I want to be like him some day. You are a sick person. You stress family values, then you imply that I'm a bigamist. I hate you. Why do I have to be married? I might enjoy isolation. I might go up to some mountains and live there like a hermit. A rich hermit. And I'll wallow in my money and buy all the gold in the world, then you'll be left alone in the street, a desolate beggar, and you'll be eating cracker jacks from the garbage can, and you'll have to expel your feces in a chamber pot. You're a sick person. I might go live with Donald Trump. He seems like a nice guy. he has a lot of money, and if I have all the money in the world, then everyone else will die from poverty. You'll die too, you sick beast. You have a dirty mind and you don't know what sex is for. I think I'm going to call my divorce lawyer right now.

I love my job. I'm going to take our baby, and raise him by myself. Your name sounds like one of those candy bar things. but you're not as delicious. I love working, every day, forever. I;m going to push buttons until the day that I die. I never bought a blow up doll, you're having bizarre hallucinations. I'm not going to have my son be raised by a sick person.
Debate Round No. 2
QuestionGuy

Pro

Ha! Donald Trump is A great person? Pfft I might buy that logic if its on a Black Friday sale. But you might as well Call him Donald Hump since you are so infatuated you him! Go sleep in his bed since you want to see him so bad. Why bother marrying me in the first place if you wanted to sleep with Donald Hump? You obviously don't follow your own moral code because Donald treasures family values and you don't apparently so why would you want to spend time with him? You never play games with the in laws. So you know what?? I got a game called...you going to miss me with that Bullsh*t! I'm Borderline done with you! I'm trying to make this work. It your making this difficult. What's with the uncharacteristic animosity? I shown nothing but love to you. No family values tsk take. No wonder when I went to your side of the family you were disgusting and rude at the dining table I heard that fart slip when you sneezed but that's not my business though. But you teaching your son how to be. Disgusting pig his name is johnny stop trying to change his name to Donald

You say you want to live in isolation omg again why did you marry me for? Did you like my booty my money my books the sex what artificial reason was it huh? Did you stay because you thought I was pregnant? Explain yourself! Because right now you sound dinner than a pile of bricks! You say you love your job? What in he world do you do again? Maybe you should get a liar and. Low self esteem prick. You can dish it out but you can't take it. I remember at our honeymoon dinner that little kid made fun of your Elvis hairstyle I thought it was cute but your little feelings got butt hurt. You can't take a joke but you sure walk around looking like one

Funny how people start sh*t then wonder how sh*t got started isn't it funny how people get mad when you treat people the same way they treated you?Let's drop the act. Start over be civil human beings you numbskull and talk to me like I'm your wife if you going to treat me like a dog at least provide dog food. Again be civil hunny :) don't get me started because I don't know how to pump the. Breaks.
frankfurter50

Con

I do not want to sleep with Donald Trump. I might just go play some golf with him, learn some economic tips from him, watch him on his plantation in Georgia. that kind of stuff. I will never miss you. i don't know why I married you. The wedding cake cost thirty dollars. The wedding put me in debt for years. Why did we have to buy that fricking Christian minister? I'm not even a Christian. I'm a Zoroastrian. You know, you don't need a priest to marry people anymore. You can just go down to the county courthouse and have a judge legally marry you. It's only twenty bucks or so. I'd much rather have done that. Instead, it had to be a big affair, with a big chocolate fountain and Uncle Mike was there and he kept telling those stupid jokes of his. And then your grandpa choked on the shrimp casserole. It was a big ordeal. It cost so much that I almost had to pay with my shirt.

I don't know what my son's name is. I didn't know it was Johnny. Why does he have such a dull, generic name? personally, with kids, I prefer unique, abstract names. It makes everything much more interesting. You only get to name your kids once, we should have named him Garbledoodle or something. He'll have to be called something forever, so he might as well be called something interesting. I am a workaholic. I love work. It's great. I just sit in my cubicle all day and push a bunch of buttons. It's very fun. Then I file some paperwork. Ok, I admit, it's not THAT fun, but it still beats being woken up at two in the morning. From now on, I'm going to spend the night in my cubicle. I'll move a little couch in there. I might live there. After all, I get to work there for free. i could just move in and the boss probably wouldn't object. I'd cook eggs there, eat some potato chips. Meanwhile, you can do whatever the heck you want. Marriage is a living hell and I want out.

My Elvis hairstyle is incredibly appealing and I use a lot of hair grease on it, so don't mess it up, ya stinker. You ain't nothing but a hound dog.
Debate Round No. 3
QuestionGuy

Pro

awww that was cute now I remember why I Married you, you have this adorable little logic that doesn't make much sense but people just feel bad for you and so they run with it anyway. I'm going to tone it down on you for now because your not going to be able to keep up with me. Maybe you should hang with Donald trump because your other friends are Posers, 4 of your followers have the same girlfriend and boyfriend but that's not my problem, a lot of your friends have social problems, that's probably where you get yours. I had to tell one of your female friends to back off when I was protecting you,

you say you don't like me but you still find time to watch everything I do, stop hating because i'm the bread winner and money maker, i'm hiring hates full time no benefits no pay 19hour shifts apply today! You didn't even know our kids name, because you were so busy wonder what i'm doing, you always checking my phone instead of the child homework. You definitely have giving up on the relationship why do I even bother.

how are you going to find a new girlfriend with what skills and what good looks? you need to go to the gym your shirt says Tapout and ufc but your body says cookout and KFC. I dint care about looks that much but your personality is garbage.
look final chance to work this out you want to be together or not because some of this stuff your saying is because you are scared and don't really mean it...say it one more time you don't care about me.....and I will end you like the dog you are
frankfurter50

Con

My logic is so logical that it doesn't make any sense. That's the logic to it. I do not care about being a social idiot. I thrive on isolation. I am, in a sense, a vampire who lives in a cold, icy cave. After many, many years of marriage, I desire a life of solitude. I might go away to some cave somewhere. Then you will be left alone with Tommy or whatever his name is, and be forced to cope with isolation yourself. I hope you enjoy, you selfish demon. I might take Harley with me. he could learn quite a bit if he was removed from his environment. No, I won't. You can do whatever you want with him. I have to go. My life is a nightmare and I have to hit the road. I might also shoot it, I'm so angry.

I don't want to work hard to support you, you groveling peasant. I work because it provides a reliable outlet for my frustration. You don't work, you never have. I wonder what it would be like if you did. Would you understand the hardships involved with work? Why work? Why not abandon the rules of society and live like a hermit, away from the dystopia that is America? You blithering fool.

My body does say cookout and KFC. And I don't mind, I like KFC. I also like cookouts. I am not ashamed of my weight, I love to eat. I could go to some restaurant and buy a delicious hamburger right now, and I would love that hamburger much more than you. Much more. That hamburger would fill my stomach. You refuse to fill my deep longing for communication. My shirt does say cookout and KFC, and I am proud of it, because I don't care about what other people think. I will say it one more time. I don't care about you. I'll say it again. I don't care about you. A third time. I don't care about you. Go ahead and end me like the dog I am. Since I'm not a dog at all, you can't end me.

How's THAT for logic, ya half baked rotten tomato?
Debate Round No. 4
QuestionGuy

Pro

I don't even know you anymore. I went to counseling the other day and even my counselor said you were unfixable. The worst part is you don't even realize what you have done for our son and our relationship and you can't change what you don't acknowledge. My heart is hurting but I will move on and be stronger. I can't keep giving my heart back to the same person that broke it. You wasted my time and yours

Conclusion
Karmela burns all his clothes and laptops and threw it out I. The street. Told her counselor Her husband claimed he wanted isolation but was seen with 6 women in a month. It it was no longer her business

Status 1 year later after relationship
Karmela filed divorce and never looked back. She saw him at a mall once in passing she remembers he said he went to the gym but his before send after picture looked the same Probably because he says he loves cooking and food but he didn't love self control in the same way
frankfurter50

Con

I've decided that you are not a person. You are, rather, an alien who has taken over the body of my wife and filled her with satanic idiocy. Our relationship can't go on. It never did exist, it was not meant to be. When I leave, you, I won't feel any depression, but rather, a tingly sense of elation and ecstasy. You can take Tommy what's his name. I'm sure you'll be a good mother to him, and I loathe responsibility. Enjoy the hourly feedings and so on. We never had to have a kid. But you were a creature of lust, and so you had the little tyke. Come to think of it, you won't be a very good mother, as you revealed in round one, you host full day orgies with my ex girlfriend. Still, I won't take Bobby. You'll have to behave yourself for once and become a responsible parent. You might call me a hypocrite, but divorce is absolutely necessary, and one of us has to take him, so it may as well be you. I don't want to see him as an adult, because it'll be like looking at aa complete stranger. Just go off somewhere, I'll send you a check every now and then.

Conclusion
Joe burned all of Karmela's porno tapes after showing them to a judge. Joe decided to move to Canada and live in the wild Yukon, free from the hardships of society. He never touched- or saw- another woman as long as he lived. He whiled away the long hours playing marathon games of checkers and solitaire. In that time, he thought a good deal about his life. He missed hamburgers, but that was about it.

Status 1 year later after relationship
Karmela became a prostitute, and young what's his name became an orphan, begging on the street for scraps of bread. Karmela was not a prostitute who had sex in exchange for money, she just had sex, because that was all she ever thought about. She did not see Joe in the mall. Instead, it was Donald Trump. Karmela had a child with Donald Trump, then she left him with Donald Trump and went on to other men. She died in a Kentucky gas station bathroom at the ripe old age of 42. Joe lived to be 101. He won a Nobel prize for discovering the secrets of the universe. he also wrote a bestselling autobiography about his unhappy marriage and his days of isolation. He passed away a very rich man.
Debate Round No. 5
16 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by frankfurter50 2 weeks ago
frankfurter50
I guess so. Could be twisted around a little.
Posted by QuestionGuy 2 weeks ago
QuestionGuy
that's why sometimes I let me opponent choose sometimes ahead of time through private message, there many ways to spice it up lol
Posted by frankfurter50 2 weeks ago
frankfurter50
I dunno. The couple you came up with is pretty bland.
Posted by QuestionGuy 2 weeks ago
QuestionGuy
that was 5 years ago and I didn't keep going because I got locked out of my account it got hacked so I just stopped coming to the site altogether, but im confident it would have kept going, 6billion people on the planet about half of those are adults or more, plenty of different personalities to go around lol I even will have people use real work and fake scenarios together
Posted by frankfurter50 2 weeks ago
frankfurter50
Well, getting a bunch of views doesn't mean they're interesting, it just means that lots of people look at them. If you only did 4, there can't be that many ways you can go about it.
Posted by QuestionGuy 2 weeks ago
QuestionGuy
well the original each got over 2,000 a piece and I did 4 of them and one got 6,000 so there plenty of personality and diversity trust me lol
Posted by frankfurter50 2 weeks ago
frankfurter50
Eeh, it's kind of a restrictive format. You can only come up with so many different personality types.
Posted by QuestionGuy 2 weeks ago
QuestionGuy
I think there a lot that can be done with them it just depends on the topic and discussion, the original one I did got over 6,000 views
Posted by QuestionGuy 2 weeks ago
QuestionGuy
was all in the spirit of fun, thanks for the debate you had some great comebacks
Posted by frankfurter50 2 weeks ago
frankfurter50
Nah, your ending seems great. I don't think I'll do one of these again. You just can't do too much with them.
No votes have been placed for this debate.