The Instigator
PastorJoshua
Pro (for)
Losing
19 Points
The Contender
Kleptin
Con (against)
Winning
42 Points

Witch Burnings Should be Legal in the United States.

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 4/6/2008 Category: Politics
Updated: 9 years ago Status: Voting Period
Viewed: 2,276 times Debate No: 3534
Debate Rounds (2)
Comments (18)
Votes (15)

 

PastorJoshua

Pro

It has been 20 years since we have legally executed a witch on a campus, but Good ole Christian lawyers are working very hard with the Federal Government to ensure that we may continue to practice our religion the way the Bible tells us to.

Exodus 22:18 says, "Suffer not a witch to live." Deuteronomy 18:10 says, "There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch." God is very clear here, folks, he doesn't want witches (or as they call themselves today, 'Wiccans') to live. Glory to God!

We are supposed to be killing witches! If we don't, we are disobeying God. Jesus would weep tears of joy if He just leaned down off His cloud and sniffed up the burning flesh of a witch this Halloween. Wouldn't that ruin Satan's little birthday party! Praise God! Prise the sweet sweet name of Jesus! It's just a shame that the United States Government has placed restrictions on the Biblically-mandated practice of witch burning.

These restrictions have affected my life on a very personal basis. We currently are holding Mrs. Delaney in our church jail for practing whitchcraft. Because of the Federal Government, we can't burn her.

Now we have to waste taxpayers money to have old Mrs. Delaney sit out in our church jail for practicing witchcraft. She had poor little Christian girls coming into her house to get cured of their colds! Did you know how she did it? She was putting toads in their mouths and transferring the sickness into those vile creatures! After the toads crawled out from between the sweet lips of those precious children of God, their little frog snouts would be sneezing so loud it would wake a demon! It's witchcraft!

And it happened right here under our noses, at our own church! in America! That cackling old whore would even make it rain every time she gave her cat a bath! That devil's harlot has no business breathing the same Christian air we breathe, yet we have to keep her alive in our own jail until the "so-called" Federal Government allows us to burn her at the stake. You wouldn't believe the paperwork required to make something like that happen today. But it will happen. People in America are getting serious about God again. They are starting to read the Bible again, and starting to come around.
Kleptin

Con

My opponent is suggesting that witch burnings be made legal and be practiced again in the United States. I find that this suggestion is cruel and despicable.

Why would we, in a time where gas prices are through the roof, want to waste fuel burning a witch? Not only that, but the wood used to kindle the fire could be put to MUCH better use. Natural resources are scarce.

In order to do our Christian duty, we should simply legalize witch hangings. Ropes are reusable and sturdy and economically sound. Plus, hangings are much less messy than burnings. Also a lot better for the environment because burning a witch would release all types of gases that would impact our ozone layer.
Debate Round No. 1
PastorJoshua

Pro

"Why would we, in a time where gas prices are through the roof, want to waste fuel burning a witch? Not only that, but the wood used to kindle the fire could be put to MUCH better use. Natural resources are scarce."

As a True Bible believing Christian, I have a much better understanding about the fate of this planet than any Biologist, Environmentalist, or so-called scientist because I have a personal relationship with the Fellow who created this whole place to begin with!

All this hub-bub about conserving energy, and protecting the environment is enough to make me want to pull my hair out! How about you? Why should I give a lick if our thermometers are edging up a bit, when the Lord promised He is going to turn the whole dang planet into a fire ball any minute now? Who is going to protect the ice cubes in Greenland then, my friends?

Satan is sending out a false anxiety, and misdirected mass-hysteria about the environment! The roots of these phony fears are planted deeply into so-called "facts" which sprout from poisonous seeds between the hot-rocks scattered across the sandy shores of the Lake of Fire. Its Satan's way of slapping Jesus in the face while he still has a chance! A-men? Glory to God!

The only fact these folks should really be afraid of is the fact that if they don't believe in Jesus Christ, that our loving God is going to roast them alive in Hell for eternity! Now, if you ask me - I'd be much more concerned about what is going to happen to me for eternity than I am about what's going to happen to me in the next few years! A-men?

Anyone who has read the Bible and believes every word will agree that worrying about our environment and trying to conserve energy (among other things) is an act of defiance against the Living God. Praise the Sweet name of Jesus!

The Lord will take care of everything. God made the Earth and the Heavens and if He wants to destroy it all, He will!

"In order to do our Christian duty, we should simply legalize witch hangings. Ropes are reusable and sturdy and economically sound. Plus, hangings are much less messy than burnings. Also a lot better for the environment because burning a witch would release all types of gases that would impact our ozone layer"

Hanging witches is good, but not good enough, because it doesn't use up enough natural resources. As true christians, it is our obligation to use up as much natural resources as possible so the end times will arrive. And what a better way of using it up than burning it all!

In fact, one of the things that makes folks True Christians in the first place is that we are PRAYING for the destruction of this planet. You see, God wants us to use up all the resources, because when everything is gone, it will signal the return of sweet Jesus to come kill all the Muslims, Catholics, Mormons, Hindus and Tree-Hugger-know-it-alls. If we don't end the world, God will just end it Himself. We've got to do our duty to speed up the process.

The Bible says that God has given the world and everything in it for man to use. God wants us to do with it whatever we please! From Genesis, Chapter 1:26 we learn that God has given us dominion over "every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth!" So much for endangered species! That's why we have an Endangered Species Dinner each year at my Church. To celebrate God's love for wild game hunters! And show that God has given us any species or plant we want to eat, even if it happens to be the last of its kind! Glory to God! Praise the Sweet name of Jesus!
Kleptin

Con

If my opponent puts it that way, we STILL shouldn't legalize witch burnings. We should put all of our resources into medicine so that we can kill witches slowly, painfully, and in the most expensive method possible.

For each witch, we should initiate a nuclear strike of massive proportions. We will build a giant mansion with artificial lakes and rivers on a deserted island where we will house the witch. Then, we will launch several nuclear weapons at the island, wiping it out entirely.

Thus, I conclude that better methods exist other than witch burnings and that witch burnings should NOT be made legal because for every witch that is burnt, it is another witch that we cannot use massive amounts of resources on.
Debate Round No. 2
18 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by BernardIsosceles 7 months ago
BernardIsosceles
YOU FOOLS! Peter and Jesus said that we didn't have to follow Judaic law because we're fulfilled in Him.
Posted by HellKat 8 years ago
HellKat
I'm 99.9% positive that Kleptin was being sarcastic.
Posted by Nofate 8 years ago
Nofate
Ahem...I'm going to assume that both of you are joking. Being that noone can be this mentally challenged and still know what a computer is, nonetheless, how to use it. Though judging by the "pastor"'s knowledge of scripture and the fact that he no longer has an account, I'd say he was really the kind of person this debate reveals him to be....Kleptin, please tell me that your responses and rebuttals were only a joke...
Posted by HellKat 9 years ago
HellKat
PublicForum, I think you need to stay away from the red bull.
Posted by The_Philosopher 9 years ago
The_Philosopher
right! 'cause halloween is certainly not satan's birthday!
Posted by theaceb 9 years ago
theaceb
Yeah I don't know how anyone can possibly think that someone who says: "Jesus would weep tears of joy if He just leaned down off His cloud and sniffed up the burning flesh of a witch this Halloween. Wouldn't that ruin Satan's little birthday party! Praise God!" is serious.
Posted by The_Philosopher 9 years ago
The_Philosopher
PublicForum,

I cannot believe you are calling someone a fool, as you seen to think you know the scriptures so well. Proverbs says many times not to call anyone a fool! Also, most Christians don't use the F word, PublicForum. And another thing, why don't you say God instead of G-d? I don't get that...

Also, I believe that Pastor Joshua is just having fun. In fact I think it was an incredibly hilarious satire of Christian Extremists. Pastor Joshua, I really enjoyed your arguments!

I've never prayed for the end of the world to come, but I guess it isn't wrong to do so. The unreformed might say, "what about the lost still here? we need to save everyone before the world ends!" But we Reformed know better!
Posted by PublicForumG-d 9 years ago
PublicForumG-d
Exactly - its not about legalistic adherance to outdated rules. Its about having a relationship with a loving G-d, and living to serve him.

And Jesus's fulfilling of the Law constitutes the change. He didn't coincide with it - he took it to its next step in logical progression.

It was a change - a logical change, a change that was consistant with the law, but it was a change nonetheless.

The entire purpose of the OT is to demonstrate how impossible it is to just follow a bunch of rules. No one can do it. Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of G-d.

However, with Jesus, we have mercy. Which is how we exist as Christians.
Posted by PastorJoshua 9 years ago
PastorJoshua
Nonsense! Jesus was telling the Jews to follog the OT.

AJust like he tells his diciples to follow it.

Matther 5:

1 One day as the crowds were gathering, Jesus went up the mountainside with his disciples and sat down to teach them.

2 This is what he taught them:

17 "Don't misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to fulfill them.

18 I assure you, until heaven and earth disappear, even the smallest detail of God's law will remain until its purpose is achieved.

19 So if you break the smallest commandment and teach others to do the same, you will be the least in the Kingdom of Heaven. But anyone who obeys God's laws and teaches them will be great in the Kingdom of Heaven.

20 "But I warn you--unless you obey God better than the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees do, you can't enter the Kingdom of Heaven at all!
Posted by PublicForumG-d 9 years ago
PublicForumG-d
Ignorant fool, who is twisting the Scripture.

The Bible tells us to be wary of False Prophets, and of the Devil, each of whom can quote Scripture for their own purpose.

That verse specifically was metaphorical - Jesus was clearly not advocating self mutilation - He was saying how we have to leave negative tendencies behind, even if we like them.

And its not fu-cking your right to "cut someone else's hand off", even if you were right.

"Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone…"
"Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the plank that is in your own eye?

Mind your own business, and never stray from kindness - which you are doing, and you shall be condemned for it.
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Vote Placed by Kleptin 8 years ago
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