The Instigator
ImOkaywithMostPpl
Con (against)
Losing
0 Points
The Contender
Emma.Leah3
Pro (for)
Winning
2 Points

Women have unrealistic expectations about marriage

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 2 votes the winner is...
Emma.Leah3
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 4/21/2015 Category: People
Updated: 2 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 617 times Debate No: 73906
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (1)
Votes (2)

 

ImOkaywithMostPpl

Con

I believe that today's society under values the importance of marriage and that it makes women have unrealistic views about what marriage is and what it should be such as the glorification of materialism. At this rate, there will be no more married families that stick together. Morals and values are pushed out the window. There is nothing wrong with being a single parent, but the fact remains that having two parents , 1 male and 1 female with the right state of mind and understanding what marriage really is is very important. That is how we survived for millions of years in a culture that actually goes against having only one mate, glorifying sex with multiple partners. I am a firm believer that settling down is the way to go if you intend to have a family.Being financially unstable is not reason to divorce someone, neither is falling out of love, or find attraction somewhere else. Divorce should be because of abuse or cheating or something drastic like that. I feel like today's men and women are wimps compared to our predecessors who fought for us to be here.
Emma.Leah3

Pro

Thanks for the debate. I have a feeling this is going to hinge on the heterosexual couple, so for the opening round I provided more examples in that vain.

Pro will argue that women do have unrealistic expectations of marriage. A significant percentage of the population not only encourages unrealistic expectations but also finds something alluring in the fact that it is impossible.

Yes, women do have unrealistic expectations and…

Everyone probably has unrealistic beliefs about marriage, especially if realistic is in the romantic Disney sense, 1950 Grace Kelley, pearl necklace, stay-at-home wife.

Claire Underwood recent cultural example on TV

Isn’t that the lesson of this session of House of Cards? Even Claire Underwood was fooled in an unrealistic expectation of marriage.

A Lesbian woman’s expectation of marriage unrealistic in US currently, another unrealistic expectation

I am a lesbian woman, and I definitely have unrealistic expectations including that marriage equality should be legal in all 50 states—crossed fingers for Supreme Court this term.

Betty Draper—nostalgic 1950s expectation

I don’t actual know what the definition of a realistic marriage or marriage expectations would be? Don Draper & Betty Draper first season, where Don bangs everyone in sight and thinks Betty is a slut for wearing a bathingsuit?

Facebookification—self-censorship unrealistic

Women edit their Facebook feed to keep in line with story of themselves and their marriages; you don’t see many spouses showing their actual lives but a cleaned up version with smiles, clean carpet, and everyone so happy you might mistake their smiles for a balloon with a sharpie smile.

Porn-ification of marriage leads to unrealistic exceptions for women—so I’ve heard:

Women have unrealistic exceptions because prior to entering into the marriage they don’t realize their husbands are into fetishes and that fit into nice acronyms:

POV HJ BJ CFNM [and those are the easy self-evident ones, the other ones are incomprehensible]

What I gather from Con:

What I can gather Con is saying something like traditional values of marriage but not exactly sure how this could rebut the Pro’s argument.

As someone whose sister studies in Russia, let me say the traditional man thing is pure Putin. This is what happens when your economy plummets and domestic situation deteriorates. Putin likely musing in the Kremlin how can I announce to the world my greatness? By take a moral/political stand against the United States and Europe and reassert Russian moral superiority. This usually includes by beating gay people with complete immunity and encourage by law enforcement. Seriously, in Russia, this is what Putin tells the people, we in Russia are better than the west because we are the only powerful country standing up for traditional values (beating gays, Trans, and queers—very manly, traditional)

See: Ban Interracial marriage in the southern United States in 1960s, also I hear traditional—you wouldn’t want white blood mixing with the tainted black blood—Old Testament, yada yada.

Also:

Women were property for most of human history

Thomas Jefferson—fancied the property, I mean ladies

Population didn’t reach 7 billion by monogamy—and do we really need more? Overpopulation, etc.

Old Testament a lot of weird “traditional” types of sexuality, here are some of the funniest ones:

  • She lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. Ezekiel 23:20 NIV

  • You will be pledged to be married to a woman, but another will take her and rape her. You will build a house, but you will not live in it. You will plant a vineyard, but you will not even begin to enjoy its fruit. Your ox will be slaughtered before your eyes, but you will eat none of it. Your donkey will be forcibly taken from you and will not be returned. Your sheep will be given to your enemies, and no one will rescue them. . . . The Lord will afflict your knees and legs with painful boils that cannot be cured, spreading from the soles of your feet to the top of your head. Deuteronomy 28:30-31,35

  • Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material. Leviticus 19:19

  • Ye shall not round the corners of your heads. Leviticus 19:27

  • You may purchase male or female slaves from among the foreigners who live among you. You may also purchase the children of such resident foreigners, including those who have been born in your land. You may treat them as your property, passing them on to your children as a permanent inheritance. You may treat your slaves like this, but the people of Israel, your relatives, must never be treated this way. Leviticus 25:44-46 NLT

  • Slaves, obey your earthly masters with deep respect and fear. Serve them sincerely as you would serve Christ. Ephesians 6:5 NLT

Debate Round No. 1
ImOkaywithMostPpl

Con

I do agree with the points that were made by the previous user. It is hard for women to be realistic as men have their fetishes and crazy weird ideas. I do feel as though men have marriage twisted as well. To expect your wife/husband or to convince her to do heinous sexual acts, whether you are gay straight whatever is unacceptable. I feel as though the morals, I mean basic morality such as being honest and trying to be normal have been thrown out the window. What i mean by normal is not having all of these different partners and animals and putting these weird fetishes into play. Fetishes are fine as long as it is between you and your wife to make things exciting. Beasteality is unacceptable. Porn has a lot to do with why marriages and morality have become more or less incongruent. I feel as though in terms of love,commitment, and sex there should be equality on either side. Marriage is about building an everlasting partnership and friendship. Not just about making a woman or man have sex with you or succomb to your desires. Marriage is a hard thing to conquer, but with the right attitude and devotion, we can get things right. Nobody is perfect that is just life. However we can try to at least be civil. Our partners are not our slave. Women should be open to doing different things sexually as should men. But that doesnt include bringing in outside people. That is what makes sex so special between 2 people that love each other.
Emma.Leah3

Pro

Thanks again for the debate. I kind of thought this would be a contentious debate but thankfully it has been cordial. I believe we agree on several significant points that indicate contend that women have unrealistic expectations about marriage.

Con stated last round:

“I do agree with the points that were made by the previous user. It is hard for women to be realistic as men have their fetishes and crazy weird ideas.”

WE AGREE!

After this and other statements made in Round 2 arguments from Con, it appears there is a lot of agreement and little disagreement. In fact, we both agree:

Women have unrealistic expectations about marriage.

I cannot discern where we diverge on the proposal. I actual don’t see any disagreement at all.

Pro and Con agree women have unrealistic expectations about marriage. We see and identified reasons why this happens, namely societal, sexual, and social influences that both partners don’t account for or don’t consider before committing to one another.

Pro and Con agree that our culture that is more permissive than in the past has created unrealistic sexual demands and sexual desires that are incompatibility with the marriage and prove detrimental to it. Also, while not explicated stated, but implicit from the debate so far, both Pro and Con perceive that modern marriages often result in unrealistic expectations that lead to emotionally incompatibility at a very basic level.

Based on our agreement I will simply extend arguments made in the last round.

Final comment:

While we both agree on women have unrealistic expectations about marriage, I do think there may be disagreement about the ideal state of marriage, the desirability of returning to a traditional standard, and what might be the appropriate or potential remedies for unrealistic expectations in marriage. That is true, but the debate in question form: do women have unrealistic expectations about marriage? Yes, both Pro and Con agree on this, everything outside of this is not relevant to the debate itself.

Debate Round No. 2
ImOkaywithMostPpl

Con

ImOkaywithMostPpl forfeited this round.
Emma.Leah3

Pro


I extend my argument. Con has not provided a counter-argument and has only accentuated the vast majority of my arguments.


Debate Round No. 3
ImOkaywithMostPpl

Con

ImOkaywithMostPpl forfeited this round.
Emma.Leah3

Pro


So I will continue to extend my argument because as stated above, Pro and Con are in agreement.


Debate Round No. 4
ImOkaywithMostPpl

Con

ImOkaywithMostPpl forfeited this round.
Emma.Leah3

Pro


I will extend my argument. Vote Pro


Debate Round No. 5
1 comment has been posted on this debate.
Posted by joetheripper117 2 years ago
joetheripper117
I'm interested to see how pro's first argument correlates to the topic
2 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Vote Placed by Ragnar 2 years ago
Ragnar
ImOkaywithMostPplEmma.Leah3Tied
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Reasons for voting decision: FF
Vote Placed by bsh1 2 years ago
bsh1
ImOkaywithMostPplEmma.Leah3Tied
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Reasons for voting decision: FF