The Instigator
philosphical
Pro (for)
Losing
27 Points
The Contender
Vi_Veri
Con (against)
Winning
29 Points

Writers debate

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 10/9/2009 Category: Arts
Updated: 7 years ago Status: Voting Period
Viewed: 4,713 times Debate No: 9652
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (34)
Votes (9)

 

philosphical

Pro

This debate is for any of you book readers, or writers. I felt the need to open this debate in order to expose creativity and entertainment.
The point of this debate is for both debaters to write out a short story.
The first person will start out the story, with a certain set of characters and a select few settings.
In every round the Pro will present a problem in their story. The Con will then continue this same story with the same characters and settings (where rules apply), and fix the problem somewhere in the midst of the story.

RULES
-----------------
1. Each story must exceed over 4,000 characters long.
2. There will be two main characters (Dennis, and Victoria in this case).
Each writer is allowed to bring up to 2 extra characters in their story. They may not make any more than two. (crowds, and large groups of unknown people are the exception). Each writer may describe the character in whichever way they like, but there is no changing any character personality traits, or appearance. That of the appearance left out by one writer, may be filled to the other writers liking in any way they so choose.
3. There will be two general settings. In this case, it will be (Victoria's house, and the park) Each writer may create only one extra setting. The same rules apply with this as the characters. You may add any details not added by the other writer.
4. All character brought up by the opposing writer MUST be used in in each round by each writer. (exceptions apply with character or setting death).
5. Pro MUST present a problem within their story, and Con MUST present a solution.
----------------

This debate will start in the second round.
This debate should be voted on due to creativity, thoughtfulness, spelling and grammar, and conduct.
If any of this comes off at all confusing, feel free to comment and ask questions.
I look forward to the acceptance of this debate.
thankyou.
-Philosophical
Vi_Veri

Con

Alright, let's get this thing started!
Debate Round No. 1
philosphical

Pro

VICTORIA

Victoria quickly put on her black sweatshirt, feeling all sorts of emotions. Mainly, Excited and anticipated, but also a bit nervous. She walked into her bathroom, and gave herself a steady glance in the mirror. She was ready.
'Now all their is to do, is to wait for Dennis to come' thought Victoria in-patiently. She paced her room, silently for a few minutes minutes, before finally sitting on the edge of her bed. Although she was glad to have her parents gone for the weekend, she couldn't help but to feel lonely at the same time. Normally she would have agreed to go with them for their short vacation, but she knew that this would be probably the only chance she would get to get out of the house. She needed to stay.
She walked across her small upstairs bedroom, to her window. Moonlight filled the room, as Victoria opened up the blinds. Eager to leave, Victoria pulled out her cell phone and quickly dialed Dennis's number. Dennis answered on the third ring. "Hello?" Came Dennis's hasty voice over the phone. "What's taking you so long? I'm ready to go!" Urged Victoria angrily. "Calm yourself. I just got here." Replied Dennis casually.
Victoria looked out the window to see that, sure enough, Dennis had arrived on her front lawn wearing all dark clothing.
"Alright stay there. I'll be right out."
Victoria snapped her phone shut, and pulled her shoes on.
She went to her bathroom one last time and checked herself in the mirror. Her eyes were wide with excitement, as she never got out much with her parents around. She then hurried out the door to go meet Dennis.

DENNIS

Dennis watched as Victoria quickly left her house, slamming the door behind her. "Did you have to shut that so hard? I wouldn't be surprised if the whole neighborhood is awake now!" Dennis said slightly vexed.
"Oh, stop being a baby. This was your idea, remember? Do you have the video camera?" Asked Victoria, as her and Dennis started walking down their silent street.

"Of course!" Dennis snapped, again a little more peeved.

'Did she really think i am stupid enough to leave the one thing that the whole bet was based on?' Dennis thought to himself.

" I can't wait to see the angry look on Beth's face when she finds out we really snuck into that house. This is going to be an easy win. I mean how hard is it to just walk in a house that's not even uccupied half the time? I bet that old man won't even be at his house." Victoria said as they passed the first few houses towards their destination.

" Yeah, i guess we'll see..." Said Dennis looking down at the ground.

"What's wong Denny? Yesterday you were all pumped for this. Now your all mopey, and irritated. I'ts not like you."

Dennis turned to look at his best friend. "Yeah, i know. I am sorry. I just feel bad about lying to my parents."

"your such a goody goody!" Victoria said, then punched Dennis lightly in the shoulder. "Besides, not telling, is different from lying. Your parents are in Mexico for the weekend! You should enjoy your freedom!"

Dennis sighed. "I guess you're right. Let's go see how 'scary' this house supposedly is."

In less than a few minutes, the two teenagers found themselves standing in front of the eerie house. The house looked to be about 2000 sq. feet, with two windows in the front top level, adjacently spaced about 15 feet apart.
The front yard, was full of dead grass, and trash from kids walking home from school seeing the ugly yard, and finding it fit to leave their wastes in it.
The two could see that that there was no car parked in the driveway.
This was a good sign.

"You go first" said Victoria, suddenly quiet.

"Don't be scared, he's not even here." Dennis chuckled. "I'm not scared!" Victoria defended, with hurt pride.
"Relax i was kidding! Let's go, you girly girl." Dennis teased as he started up to few steps to the front door. Ignoring the comment, Victoria followed close behind.
Dennis knew that Victoria was really quite the opposite. Victoria wasn't the type of girl, who obsessed over looks, even though most of though most of the guys that knew her already thought her to be quite attractive. She was slender, had strawberry blonde hair, and bright blue eyes. But she loved being outdoors, playing sports, getting dirty, and doing things that were generally considered "un-proper" for a girl. That was the main reason Dennis got along with her so well. She wan't like the rest of the girls he knew. She was different, in a good sense, and they had been friends since childhood. Dennis remembered when he first met his now best friend at age five, playing in 'Meadow
Breeze park' so long ago. Now, nine years later, they had been able to maintain that same friendhip.

Dennis approached the door to the eerie house, slowly.
"Well go ahead, open it Denny!" whispered Victoria impatiently.
Dennis reached toward the handle and turned it, without much luck.
"It's locked." Dennis said dissapointedly.
"Duh! Come on let's go in through the back."
Victoria and Dennis then rushed off to the side fence of the house.
The fence looked really old and fragile, Dennis thought.
Victoria looked at the old creaky fence un-easily. Then she exchanged the expression to one of determination, saying " I am smaller. Help me up first please"
Dennis knelt down, to allow Victoria to step on his back. Victoria grunted, as she hoisted herself up and over the fence. The fence creaked loudly as she jumped off of it, to the other side.
Dennis wondered if the fence would hold his weight, and decided that the idea was very unlikely.
"Hurry up, slow poke! Ew, this yard is disgusting." Victoria whispered through the fence.
Dennis took the camera out of his hoodie pocket, so as not to smash it.
With one good jump, Dennis managed to hook both his elbows over the top of the fence. Next, he pulled his legs up to the top of the fence. As Dennis pulled, he realized his left pant leg, was caught on a stray wood chip protruding from the fence. His weight pulled him off the top, tearing the fabric of his his black sweats, as he fell on his butt, much to the amusement of Victoria. "Shut up" Dennis told the girl, who was giggling quietly.
"Smooth move!" Victoria said as she helped brushed the dirt off his back.
The two teens walked a little faster through the dirty back yard to get to the back door. Victoria shivered as they passed a creepy looking rusted, shed in the corner of the yard.
" I bet he keeps dead bodies in there!" Dennis said.
The backyard was much like the front yard, filled with dead grass, and other unkept things.
The two proceeded to the door, hoping that it would be unlocked.
Dennis tried the knob and found himself appeased to find it unlocked.
"I am going to start recording now" he told Victoria.
Both teens walked in the house. Everything in this house reminded Dennis of all the ones in those scary movies. The place literally looked like it had been un-inhabited for decades!
Almost as soon as they had walked in, they were surprised to see two bright headlights through the front window.
"crap the owner is here!" Dennis started to panic.
"Dang! Now what!?" Victoria exclaimed now, very frightened.
"Hurry, in this closet!" Dennis pointed to another door. The two rushed to the closet, and crammed themselves inside the small place. They listen intensely, as they heard the door open, followed by heavy footsteps.
TO BE CONTINUED BY VI_VERI.....
------------
PROBLEM: The two teens are trapped in the house with the owner without and must escape.
ADDED CHARACTER: Old man (owner of house) [1]
ADDED SETTING: Creepy house [1]

Just a re-clarification for my opponent and my readers, the first section of this story contains a problem. It is the opponents job, to fix the said problem in her writing, and propose a new problem for me to fix. This will happen in each round.
I would like to appolagize for any lack of detail, due to character limitations.
-philosopical
Vi_Veri

Con

Dennis felt his pulse ballooning in his throat. The man's boots were scuffing up the linoleum in the kitchen, and each dry squeak sent a jolt through Dennis's veins. Victoria was latched on to his shoulder, fighting to keep quiet though showing her fear physically. Tremors from her arms would have rattled against the closet door if Dennis weren't holding her tight against him. The coats in the closet swung like bodies on a noose from their quick entrance, and Victoria silently prayed that they would make no sound. It distracted her mind at least while the man in the kitchen hoisted something heavy onto a surface.

The old man was quit agile for his age. At 63 he could still lift the 22 year old body up onto the counter. The young woman's clothes were torn as if eaten by moths and her hair was pasted to her forehead from what seemed to be a quick dip in a pool of water. Her pale lips glistened in the harsh white light as the old man rummaged through drawers.

Dennis tugged at Victoria's sleeve. His actions were at first hesitant, but he immediately took his index finger to her lips, showing her to be quiet, as he shuffled through her pockets. It was somewhere in there... His fingers touched soft lint, a couple of coins as he explored deeper... and there! Victoria's cell phone. He felt her frantically struggle against him, as if to inform him not to call anyone, but he flipped her phone open anyway. Dennis quickly mashed the buttons for her text messages as Victoria looked on curiously.

::We need to wait for him to get out of the kitchen, then run for the back door!::

The old man scratched through his stringy gray hair as he pulled the tool out of the drawer. The girl on the counter was now whimpering softly, her legs twitching like live wires as cold tears streamed down her white cheeks. The man pulled her legs straight, letting her heavy boots drop to the wood counter with a hollow thump.

Victoria's body gave a jolted shiver when she heard those sobs, and Dennis's pulse, he could have sworn, was so loud that Victoria surely heard it. Vikky peered through the crack in the closet door and saw the old man's powerful body hovering over someone, but she unfortunately couldn't make out the other person. The cries, though, sounded distinctly feminine and horrifyingly in much physical pain.

There was a muffled scream, and a sickening crunch and rip as the man's arm could be seen working; the muscles in his shoulders bulging like thick cable wires.

Both Dennis and Victoria's cheeks drained of blood. They sat in complete silence, counting the splintering crunches for several minutes. Victoria's muscles tightened each time one of the coats in the closet smoothed against her skin, but her only facial reaction remained the expression of a thawing corpse. The crunching stopped, but Victoria continued her paralyzed gaze.

One motion from Dennis changed all of this.

She saw Dennis's trembling fingers reach for the door handle. Victoria's hand shot and grasped his with a new strength, but Dennis countered with a quick show of her phone's screen.

::He left the room::

Dennis was right. A quick peer through the crack in the door proved this, and though Victoria was reluctant to ever move from where she was perched, the thought of the man putting his coat away in this very closet scared her to tears. He would prepare them like Sunday dinner.

She held onto Dennis's arm tightly as he opened the door with caution, making sure that every creak was kept to a minimum. Without so much as a rustle, they bolted through the kitchen hunched over, throwing themselves behind the couch in the living room. The carpet was brown like the molten dirt outside and had a soggy texture to it brought a collection of bile in Victoria's throat. The matting of liquid was something Victoria's fingers couldn't quite distinguish right away. She lifted her hand up to check her finger tips, and felt her stomach drop.

Dennis heard Vikky sob softly. He watched tears stream down her blushed cheeks, and a quick curious glance at the cause caused his own eyes to swell. The crimson liquid snaked slowly, a silent spiral around Victoria's fingers.

Dennis mustered all of the strength he had left. He had to get him and his best friend out of here. He knew if he let fear penetrate his being that he would be forced to experience the same end as the girl in the kitchen. The back door was just across the hall, and the hall was just across from them. It would only take two quick bounds to get out of this house and get the hell over that fence. Dennis grasped both of Victoria's hands and forced her to look at him. "We can do this," he whispered softly, and she nodded. Victoria slowly collected herself, biting down on her lip and clenching his hands right back. They readied themselves for the plunge towards the door.

"On three, ok?" Dennis nodded to her request. "One...two...."

Dennis's legs wobbled like rubber, but Victoria's new found determination didn't allow him to remain a straggler. Her grip on his hoodie was iron, and thankfully this allowed for Dennis to regain his footing and pound down through that never ending hallway. The portraits on the walls seemed to bellow with laughter as the two teens rushed past. The hallow eyes and the gaping mouths followed their every scurrying step. Dennis watched each painting with wide interest. They were all laughing as if something amusing were going on in this house. It made Dennis sick to his stomach after what they had seen. Then, THUMP! Dennis's eyes went wild as he collided with the hard floor. The long carpet underneath him had folded into a bump that cost them almost all of their discretion. The boy's body crumbled like a sack of mail, and the remorseless carpet underneath him scrapped the delicate skin of his face. Victoria wouldn't allow herself to panic. She grabbed at his limp arms as he reached for her and helped him to his feet. The door, luckily, was just a foot away.

That old, rotted door looked like the gates to heaven at that particular moment. The door nob had been collecting rust for decades, and the wooden body of the piece was lacking any luster or life. But, for Victoria and Dennis, it was the most beautiful discovery they could have possibly laid eyes on. Vikky jerked the nob open, and the cold relief of the night air gave them hope as the crumbled back porch lay before them.

They had escaped the house, and with just a leap and a bound over that fence, they would run their tails clear past this block and all the way home. The quiet night air welcomed not a single mistake of noise for the two...

BBBRRRRIIIIINNNNNGGGG, BBBBBBRRRRIIIIIIINNNNNGGGG......

Dennis's glowing, ringing, vibrating pocket loudly proclaimed their presence in the back doorway. The two teens felt death, his ivory fingers groping greedily for them, approaching from behind.

______________________________________________________________________________________

FORMER PRESENTED PROBLEM: The two teens are trapped in the house with the owner and must escape.

SOLUTION: Teens find their way to the house's exit.

NEXT PRESENTED PROBLEM: The two teens have made their presence known with Dennis's dramatic fall in the hallway and the high pitched ringing of Victoria's cell phone in Dennis's pocket.

ADDED CHARACTER: Young Woman [1]

Good luck, Phil! : )
Debate Round No. 2
philosphical

Pro

VICTORIA

At the sound of the cell phone ring, Victoria stiffened, and could sense Dennis do the same beside her.
'Oh no... Please, god, no! Why hadn't I turned my volume off while we were inside?' Victoria thought. Suddenly all previous determination was forgotten and replaced with an un-comprehensible fear.

The dark, husky, and deep voice she heard next, she realized, did not belong to Dennis.

" Goldy locks, and her friend appear to have been caught by the bear"

The two spun around instantly, with apparent shock covering their countenances.
The long bearded man with the blood stained white shirt, glared hatefully at the two impostors.
" RUN!" Dennis screamed and turned to run towards the fence.
Victoria didn't have to be told twice.
Close behind Dennis, Victoria could hear they heavy footsteps pacing behind him. She knew she would be able to place a good distance on the heavy, and slow man. Her and Dennis both reached the fence at the same time.
'Crap! There is no way we will be able to get over this fence in enough time!' Victoria thought wildly.
As if in answer, Dennis gave a strong and surprising kick to the fence. The kick wasn't perfect, but it did the trick. The creaky, old, fence snapped from it's base on the side of the house, and roared to the ground with a loud groan.
Without pausing for an instant, The two hopped through to their freedom.

The two teens continued to sprint down the opposite side of the street they came from, without bothering to look behind them. They passed house after house, using a speed neither of them had ever thought they were capable of.
Finally Dennis slowed to a stop, so as to catch his breath.
Victoria turned to look behind her, to find that the street was empty.
"I think.... we lost... him..." Victoria said, between each breath.

All of a sudden the familiar two bright headlights, they had seen just five minutes ago, were again glaring viciously into their eyes. This was followed by the loud roar of an engine being revved up. The big truck started making its way towards the teens at an alarmingly fast speed.
Dennis cursed.
" That's him! What do we do now!?" Victoria questioned aloud, once again feeling the presence
of death approaching. The only thing that kept her from collapsing to the ground and shaking un-controllablly, was her spiked adrenaline.
They were currently at the end of the street the man lived on. It branched off into a 'T' in that led to two seperate streets.

"Let's split up! We can confuse him if we both go a different direction. We should go through people's back yards so he will lose us. Meet me at 'Meadow Breeze park in twenty minutes." Dennis ordered hurriedly.

Victoria nodded, and sprinted off left, down the street.

DENNIS

Dennis had moved quickly through the first yard on the street leading right. The smaller, front yard fence guards, were easy to hop over, as Dennis quickly maneuvered himself from yard to yard. He could hear the squeal of the wheels, as the truck made a sharp right turn towards Dennis.
Dennis was extremely panicked, but also relieved that the man had went for him instead of Victoria.
'Crap!'
Dennis had to do something fast, or else he was toast. Up ahead, Dennis could see the road turning right around a corner house. An idea popped in Dennis's head as he passed the last house. In the front of the house, a small white picket fence bordered the perimeter.
'Perfect...' Dennis thought.
Making a quick turn, he left the the man in the truck's vision, making appear as if he were passing the house. As soon as he was out of sight, Dennis jumped over the picket fence, and sprawled his body on the ground behind the fence, motionless. He held his breath.
The truck turned, and continued down the road, the engine roaring loudly.
Dennis waited until the ominous sound of the trucks engine faded off into the distance, before finally exhaling.
'It worked!' Dennis thought extremely relieved.
'I have to go meet Victoria'
Dennis, pushed himself off the ground, sweating, exhausted and tired.
Then, Dennis started off towards the park, where him and Victoria would decide what to do next.
-----------------

'Where is she? She should have been here by now!'
Dennis thought, now very worried.
He had been at the park for fifteen minutes, and there had still been no sign of Victoria.
Dennis paced the park impatiently, anxious and apprehensive.

'We've got to think of some sort of plan' Dennis thought.
'Should we call the cops? No, they would never believe us.'

Dennis found himself in controversy with himself.
'Should we tell our parents?'
After careful thought, Dennis decided,

'No, I don't want to endanger them either. As of right now, I think we should keep this to ourselves.'

Finally he decided the best decision was to wait to discuss this with Victoria when she got here.
'IF she gets here....'

Dennis stopped pacing after a few minutes, and went to go sit on the moist, dew covered grass.
He stared up at the brightly shining half moon, hanging lazily in the night sky. Normally Dennis would have thought this was beautiful, but after seeing the gruesome deformed body of the the poor, innocent girl, he could no longer admire beauty.
What had she done to deserve such an end? Then Dennis resolved 'Does it matter? The man is obviously sick. Regardless of why he killed her, something needs to be done.'
Dennis could still hear the awe full crunching sounds ringing throughout his head... He strongly remembered the texture of the girls blood on the floor.
Images of what the man did to that poor girl kept re-appearing in his mind.
Dennis realized, that he was never going to be able to clean his memory of this terror. Tears started welling up at Dennis's eyes as he wondered how all this could have happened. Who could something so cruel?
The heaviness of his situation was sinking in on him. The world started spinning, and all of a sudden he felt very weighted.
Although he was undergoing sadness, he couldn't help but to be relieved that they had escaped. It had been so close...
Dennis shuddered as he thought of the consequences they would have suffered if they were caught by the evil man.
They had truly been lucky. Or had they?

'Something's seriously wrong. Victoria should have been here by now.' Dennis continued silently worrying.
Dennis pulled out Victoria's phone and checked the time. It read :: 2:47 A.M. ::

It had been about an hour and a half since the two had left to the house.
Suddenly, the horrifying idea came up, 'What if he caught Victoria?'
Dennis started shaking with fear at the thought.
Going back into that house was the last thing he wanted to do.
The whole scene from the closet, and the tortured girl, vaguely reminded Dennis of an old horror movie starring lyndsie lohan. But he let the thought leave his mind, and went back to his previous frantic thoughts.
All of a sudden the phone started ringing again
BRRRRRIIINNGGG BRIINN-
Dennis quickly opened the phone. The screen read: "1 new text message".
He couldn't recognize the number, and it didn't have a name.
Dennis clicked the 'open' option, to read a horifying message that would soon change his life.

:: I have Goldy locks. I don't advise calling the cops, or telling anyone, unless you wish to say goodbye to your friend. If you want to see her again, I reckon you oughta get yourself back on over to my place in the next 30 minutes, so we can have ourselves a little chat. -Rusty ::

Dennis's jaw remained open, horrified.
'How did he get this number?'
He had to think of a plan.
Dennis got Victoria into this, and it would be up to him to get her out.
He knew what he had to do.
---------------
FORMER PROBLEM: The teens needed to escape.
PROBLEM SOLUTION: Teens have escaped.
NEXT PROBLEM: Victoria has been captured.

Vi, i have to say your last response was AWESOME.
This has been fun so far.

thanks
-philosophica
Vi_Veri

Con

Every drip of blood that left the dead woman's body caused Victoria's hope to dissipate. Her wrists were tied with the most unpleasant of ropes, and with each tug for bleak freedom, Victoria scarred them further. Her white sweater was caked with dirty tears and dried, crusting blood. Her hair and skin was matted with the same, and now blood was even trickling down her fingertips to a similar rhythm as the corpse on the cold, metal table before her.

The old man's voice was so bitter she could taste it. "Does your friend care enough about you, Goldielocks?" Victoria didn't dare look at his hand again. He held that scalpel in that hand, and just the sight of the dead woman's skin on that scalpel made Victoria gag. She was trembling now. It wasn't the tremble as a result to a persistent cold in the air, but a deeper, bone chilling shake that threatened to cease her very spirit and wrench every last droplet of fear out of her.

Her hair was brushed aside, the strands wet with sweat and the last of her courage. Her body withdrew from him. Her back pressed hard against the metal shelves she was tied to, and her legs contracted to her stomach. The grime underneath her feet left an uneasiness in her mind. It was filthy, and disgusting, like the continuous screams and crunches from beforehand, and likewise...she couldn't get rid of it...

Dennis had gotten to the house far before the old man had informed him to arrive. He was ready to do something...anything. He was shaking. "Is this the place?" the man beside him asked.

"Yeah, this sure is," Dennis replied.

The old man had left the room, leaving her to a bleak cement basement with the rotting corpse on the table. Victoria began to sob, the entirety of her soul trembling. She bit her lip hard. The woman on the table looked to be in her early 20's, all dressed up and ready to go somewhere. Victoria didn't even have her driving permit. She hadn't had her first kiss. She hadn't even said her goodbyes to anyone...not even Dennis... who was the last good person she would ever see. Death seemed so abstract, like God or Picassos hanging about her room. Abstract to the degree that she could imagine it as anything she pleased. Right now, she hoped death was warm...

The old man searched the hall closet for the shovel. The remainders of the bodies would have to be hidden in the house, like all of the other disgusting pieces of trash he picked up on the road. The wooden handle of the shovel peeked out from behind an empty box, and the old man reached swiftly for it. His satisfied chuckle then caught dry in his throat.

The ice cold tip of a gun's barrel seized the old man's breath. The snapping back of the gun's hammer pooled sweat down his forehead. "Put...your...hands...up." The voice was firm, rough, and authoritative.

A beam of light swept across the basement, and Victoria held her breath, cherishing her last and final crisp intake of the world. Here goes, she thought, here goes my world, here go my memories, here goes my everything.

A form stepped into the doorway, and all of Victoria's hopes shifted. He was wonderful. Victoria began to cry.

Dennis sped to Victoria's side. Picking up a knife off of the arranged set on the table, Dennis began to whittle his way through the rope on her wrists. "Dennisssss," Victoria sobbed, pressing her head to his shoulder. Dennis soothed her, brushing his hand through her sopping hair as the ropes fell away from her body. Releasing her from the confines brought her to freedom, like a butterfly trailing away pieces of its cocoon. "Dennissss, I th-th-thought I was--"

"Shhh," he helped her up to her feet, moving her away from the horrific sight on the metal table. He walked her out of the physical hell.

The police officer reached behind him for the handcuff's. "You have the right to remain silent," he informed the old man, the words left his lips through memorized ease. "Everything you say ---"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," the old man said bitterly, his teeth gritted together so tight they were ready to pop. The shovel was at his feet... all he would have to do is....

Dennis pulled his hoodie over Victoria's head. The snug material of it comforted her immensely, and the scent of Dennis inside of it's fabric brought her back to her former world. This was her best friend, and she didn't have to say goodbye now. She smiled warmly, and he back at her.

HHHWWWWAAAACK!

The metal shovel repeatedly fell into the officer's head, slicing him as if his skull were made of warm butter.

_________________________________________________________

FORMER PROBLEM: Victoria has been captured.
PROBLEM SOLUTION: Dennis brings a police officer to the scene to help him retrieve Victoria. She is released from her shackles and back with Dennis.
NEXT PROBLEM: The old man has killed the police officer, and the teens are still in the house with him.

ADDED CHARACTER: Police Officer [character 2, reached new character limit]

Thank you, Phil! This story is getting along great.... Good luck in the next round : )
Debate Round No. 3
philosphical

Pro

VICTORIA
Everything was wrong. What Victoria had thought to be a simple bet, had turned out to change into something horrible, sick, and more than twisted.
None of this would have ever happened, if she hadn't have made that stupid bet.
Why did their pride have to speak for her? Her life, she knew, was never going to be the same.

BEFORE

She and Dennis had been sitting at their usual table at lunch, when the beautiful, rich, popular Beth, and her 'dumb jock' boy friend approached them. Beth was a senior, who thought she was better than everyone, because her dad was a CEO for a major business. This contributed to the fact that she had the nicest car in the school, her 'natural' beauty, (which Victoria was almost positive was 100% synthetic), and her overall popular demand of practically every guy in school. Beth had started being her usual snobby self, "Hey squashmores!"
"What do you want Beth?" Dennis had said obviously peeved. Dennis had strong feelings against Beth and her boyfriend, for almost constantly making fun of his "lack of wealth", whenever they had the chance.
" Oh nothing, just wanted to say hi to some friends" lied Beth, smugly.

'She just loves to mentally screw with people' Victoria was thinking.

Victoria tried to remain as calm as possible, "Go away please."

Beth didn't like being told what to do. She was the one who ordered people around, not the opposite!
" We just wanted to talk to you. No need to be mean!"
Dennis and Victoria waited un-enthusiastically.

"Have you heard of that creepy man over on Plymouth avenue?" Beth said with a serious look in her eyes.

Dennis said "There are alot of creepy men on that street. But yes, I think I know who your talking about. What's the point?"
Victoria was spectical at where she was going with this.
"You see, me and Jared, heard that the man who lives there is Vietnam war vet. Stephanie told us that he suffers from
post dramatic stress dis-order" Beth said, still holding the seriousness charade.

Victoria was getting annoyed. "So?"

"So, rumor has it that he kills innocent people, slowly by torturing them. After he takes the dis-membered body parts and stores the in his basement!"
Beth grinned at us, as she viewed the shock on our faces.

Dennis and Victoria said nothing for a few moments. Then Dennis stood up and said "That's a load of BS!"

"Oh yeah? Prove us wrong." Beth said coldly.

Dennis hesitated for a few seconds, before finally saying "What's in it for me?"
Beth smiled, knowing she had finally reached her goal.
" Get a video. A documentary of you going into the basement, and proving that there are no bodies. Do this, and we will leave you alone forever."

Victoria thought that the idea that Beth and Jared would leave them alone was superfluously appeasing.
"Deal! I'll do it." The look in Dennis's eyes when he said this, was straight-forward and strong.
"And I'll come with you!" Victoria declared, stepping up beside Dennis.
Dennis looked down, before saying "Are you sure? You don't have to come..."
Beth practically jumped at the opportunity.
"Scared?" came her taunt, in a smooth, perfect voice.
This angered Victoria.
"I'm in!" She said, with clenched fists, that were glowing with determination.

Beth smiled one last time before leaving.
"See you later, squashmores..."

VICTORIA

Now here she stood, staring at the cold, life-less body of a police officer she had never seen. She did not know what this meant, but the sight had her locked in shock.
"Wh-wh-where is he?"
Victoria stuttered, now realizing the nightmare wasn't even close to over.
"This is never going to end... He is going to kill us. After he kills us, he will continue to murder innocents... No one will ever know. He can't be stopped. We are scre-"
Dennis interrupted Victoria. "Shh... We can still get out of here. Don't worry, we'll figure this out."

Then the evil voice rang out from somewhere in the house.
" Seems as if Goldy locks and her little friend think they can invade my house, and get away with it."

The two looked around in complete horror, but could not distinguish where the voice was coming from.
" I told you not to bring the police, little boy. Now you know what this means..."
No matter how hard the teens looked they could not place where he might be. Mean while they were frozen in place, not knowing whether to run, hide, or submit defeat. The house was so dark, that Victoria couldn't make out anything other than the lifeless body in front of her in the kitchen.

Suddenly Victoria could make out a figure standing in the hallway. The man was holding something long in his hand, but Victoria could not make out what it was.
"Were trapped... He is blocking the way to the door" whispered Dennis.

The voice continued:
" Do you think, in the real story, that goldy locks would have gotten away with invading the three innocent bears house, if the bears had caught poor little goldy locks?"

Dennis started sobbing. "Please let us go! Were sorry we came here without permission! Leave me and my friend alone please! We promise won't tell anyone!"

Victoria and Dennis waited, but no answer came.

Suddenly the man in the hallway rushed into their obscured view holding what looked like a watermelon machete. The old man moved so fast, with a speed that neither of them would have suspected someone of his age could have ever accomplished. Neither of them had time to react as the blade whipped across Victoria's arm, cutting deep about three inches across. Victoria screamed as blood gushed rapidly from her now severed and torn arm, and she fell over holding her wound. The pain was un-explainable. Her arm felt like is was on fire, and she could feel nothing other than the infinite pain. The old man stood above her, raised his weapon, ready for the kill. Victoria didn't care. She wanted the pain to stop. If that meant dying, then so be it.
Victoria, still moaning in pain and terror, looked hazily up at the man. Her vision was blurred, however she could see the knife coming for her. Then, all of a sudden, everything seemed to go in slow motion. Victoria closed her eyes and waited for the blade to pierce her skull. A few seconds went by, and nothing happened. Her ears were ringing from her own screams, and she could hear nothing.
' Am I dead?' She thought after a few seconds. Victoria opened her eyes, in shock and dis-anointment, at seeing she was still in the house. Where was the man? And was Dennis? Victoria weakly turned her head to see that Dennis was wrestling with the man for the knife. He must have tackled him away just as the knife would have pierced her!

DENNIS
Dennis struggled with the man who was already overpowering him. He had to do something fast! Dennis realized though that there was nothing he could do to get the heavy man away from him. It would end here. WHACK!
Dennis didn't figure what happened until he felt his arms go limp to his sides and blood running down his face. All he could feel, was the energy slowly leaving his body. He figured out that the old man had hit him in the face with the butt of the knife.
He was done.
PANNGG!!
The sound of the hit was un-mistakable. Dennis knew what happened. He looked up to see Victoria standing over the limp body of the man, holding a shovel.
She had saved him.
" Hurry let's get out of here!"Victoria barely managed to let the words escape her mouth.
The two turned towards the door, and were almost to freedom when they were shocked yet again.
"UHHNN..." Came a loud moan from downstairs. Both understood what this mean.
----------
Former problem: Teens again trapped in house with old man

New problem: Man is temporarily unconscious. Before leaving, they heard the girl they previously thought was dead, moan from the basement. They must save her before it is too late.

This has been fun! Thanks!

I wish you the best of luck.

-philosophical
Vi_Veri

Con

Copious amounts of stitches would be needed to mend the damage the monster had done to their bodies. They were ready to leave this place and all of the horrors that encompassed its existence, but they had to save the helpless woman in the old man's basement. They couldn't hesitate.

"I don't know how long he's going to be down..." Dennis choked, his nerves jolting his knees. Victoria took his arm, the other hand holding the now dented shovel as she pulled him toward the basement's entrance. Previously, the thought of watching that woman die seemed to be a mental scar on Victoria for the rest of her life, but now Victoria had a chance to cleanse that from her mind... by saving the woman and getting her and Dennis to a hospital, quickly.

Victoria, tugging at Dennis' hand, lead the way down the basement steps, and Dennis fumbled with the phone in his pocket. 911! 911! He dialed the number, but his hood was ripped backwards, having him relinquish the phone to tumble down the staircase. Victoria screamed.

"Oh my god, Dennis!"

Dennis flailed his elbows, but the old man's body was solid as a rock. He didn't budge. "Think you can kill me? Charlies couldn't kill me in miles of jungle, how could you?!" Dennis didn't have time to think. He had to act.

"Victoria, get the girl!" He shouted before grabbing at the old man's waist and charging towards a wall. He slammed the man's body against it, leaving him out of breath for a second. As he caught it, Dennis made a dash for the basement door, locking it behind him.

Victoria had the girl on her feet, propped up against her shoulder. There was relief in that image, at least, but Dennis continued to look wildly around for an exist. "Are there any windows down here?" he questioned, the unconscious girl looking at him curiously.

"Yea...yeah, there's a small window you can craw-wl out of behind the tool shed."

Dennis snatched the shovel from the table where Victoria had set it. Slipping it behind the giant tool shed in front of the tiny window they were to crawl out of, Dennis used it as a wedge.

SLAM!

Dennis whimpered slightly as the basement door rattled. The old man was going to break it down. "I need your help!" he shouted to Victoria as he attempted to push the tool shed aside. Victoria let the woman hold onto the metal table as she ran to his side. SLAM! She grasped the edge of the tool shed. "On three.... one.... two.... three!" SLAM! They put their bodies into it, and the shed finally started to move. Inch by inch, they bore the mental distress that the slamming against the thick basement door gave. Each slam sent a distinct vibration through the ground and up their feet. The vibrations were menacing.

SLAM! Finally! The tool shed was far enough for them to slip up through the window. "Ok, I'll boost you up, then I'll boost her and you grab her, because she's not going to be able to pull herself up," Dennis instructed Victoria. She quickly nodded. Their time was running out. Dennis held his hands out in a web to let Victoria take a step, when she did, he boosted her toward the window. With a quick unlatching, she opened it up and grasped the outer wall. Within a minute, Victoria was outside.

Dennis helped the woman across the room. She quickly followed his directions, willing to get out of here as fast as humanly possible. Dennis grabbed her and pushed her up, having Victoria's aid from above as a pully. The woman's feet finally vanished through the window.

The ringing of police sirens sent a flash flood of relief through the woman and Victoria. Victoria quickly whirled around to allow Dennis a chance to escape, but before she could act, the window was slammed aggressively in her face. Her heart beat skipped.

The old man had threatened Dennis to the ground, closed the window, and had him at his mercy in seconds. He was now holding the policeman's gun. Dennis couldn't help but sob. In seconds, a bullet hole would be placed clear through his head. The blaring lights and undetectable storm of police cars seemed gave him a feeling of free falling down that dark tunnel, straight into the white light that shone through the window. This was the end of the line for the old man. He had nothing else to do but negotiate his life for Dennis. Or possibly... he could give them all a final show. The old man smiled, his teeth rotted and mutilated. He held the phone that Dennis had dropped down the stairs to his ear.

---------------------
Former Problem: Man is temporarily unconscious. Before leaving, they heard the girl they previously thought was dead, moan from the basement. They must save her before it is too late.

New Problem: Dennis is being held at gun point inside the house. The old man is calling the police for negotiations. Dennis must be saved.

Almost done! Last showdown, Phil!
Debate Round No. 4
philosphical

Pro

VICTORIA
"NOOOOO!" Victoria screamed and pounded on the window the second it closed.
"OPEN THE WINDOW YOU MONSTER!"
Tears streamed down her face as she pounded her fists against the windows.

"Not Dennis.... Please don't kill him" Victoria pleaded, all the while trying to break the window. There was no way in hell this was glass, or it would have been broken by now.

Repeatedly kicking the window did absolutely nothing.
The old mans grinning face dis-appeared from her view through the dirty fogged glass.
Victoria was startled by the loud magnified voice that rang out from behind her.
"Ma'am, you need to back away from the window'"

The cops were here. Why did they always have to come too late?
"DENNIS!"
Victoria continued her pointless attempt at beating the window down, blatantly ignoring the cop.
The injured girl had long ago left her side, and was now being carried on a stretcher to a parked ambulance.
Strong hands from behind gripped Victoria, and attempted to drag the crazed girl away from the window.
"Ma'am, it's okay, your safe now" Said the cop calmly.
Victoria didn't even take her eyes off of the window, and struggled viciously.
"They have Dennis!"

Blood continued to flow from her open wound. Victoria started losing conscious, and stopped struggling, as she felt herself being lifted onto a stretcher.
She could no longer talk, but continued repeating the name in her head, 'Dennis... Dennis... Denny....'

She could hear someone talking on a phone somewhere in the distance, that seemed like miles away.
" Let the boy go, we have this house surrounded" said the voice.
There was a long pause.
" Yes. We will make sure all of these demands are met, if you promise not to kill him."
And then, Victoria passed out.

DENNIS

What had happened had Dennis shaking un-controllably. Simply unfathomable. Dennis's thoughts were so cluttered and frightened, he could not make heads or tails of where he was or what was going on. He knew very well that what had happened was bad. Very bad. But the heaviness of the fact that it had ACTUALLY happened left him confused and dazed.
This was unlike any fear he has ever experienced. Far worse than the time his parents first caught him making out with a girl in his room. He remembered when, at the time, the worst of his fears would have been getting grounded. He realized things have changed a great deal. He wondered if he would ever be able to look at the world the same again, after experience all this. How had that women managed to stay alive, after being so brutally hacked away at like that?
The old man snapped the phone shut, and turned his attention to Dennis.
Dennis didn't look at him.
Suddenly pain swelled at Dennis's forehead, and he could feel himself collapse in a heap on the ground.
He knew he had just been attacked, but was too weak to fight back. Dennis let the blood pour out from the newly opened cut on his forehead, run into in eyes, and past his lips.
A long moan escaped Dennis's lips as the pain sharpened.
" You have put me in such a mess. I will make you pay dearly!"
Dennis then received a harsh kick to the stomach, making him bite his lip so hard, that blood started welling up.
He couldn't breathe! He tried to suck in a deep breath, and his lungs filled with pain.

Then the old man grabbed Dennis, pulled him to his feet, and proceeded to drag the limping boy up the stairs.
He could hear many police outside still yelling in their megaphones:
"We've got the house surrounded! Come out, with the child and you won't be harmed!"
If only they could understand how pointless that was.
The old man chuckled.
" If they think they're getting you out of here alive, then they are sorely mistaken."
At hearing this, a cold shiver ran down the boy's spine. He was going to die unless something was done. The cops wouldn't come in as long as he was hostage. No one could save him. He was completely at the mercy of this insane war vet.
Dennis realized that this was entirely up to him. HE would be the one who had to act. But how could he? He felt like he hadn't one scrap of energy left. He could barely move, let alone stop this man. Victoria had struck him on the head with that shovel so hard, that he thought would have killed anyone. Yet here the man was standing, holding a gun up to Dennis's head, and only seemed to be angrier.
What could he do to stop him?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
He was hopeless.
" Do it now. Kill me, and get it over with!" Dennis said firmly to the man.
The man started laughing yet again.
This gave Dennis the chills. He didn't want to hear the answer from this man. Then the laughter stopped and the man stared into Dennis's tired eyes intently.
" Do you REALLY think its going to be that simple? Do you REALLY think that after all the hell you put me through, that I am going to just let you off the hook and end your life easily?"
Dennis could feel his eyes tearing.
The man continued " Oh no. HELL no. I am going to make to suffer. You are going to be so mutilated that your own mother won't even recognize you. I will cut each of your limbs off at a time and listen to you scream. Imagine the look of horror on little Goldy locks face when she hears you scream like a little girl after each cut. Yes, and it is going to happen now."
With that, the old man grabbed Dennis by the hear, and thrust him into the table in which Dennis had early witnessed the mutilation of the girl.
Dennis was thrown off balance and crashed to the floor. The man walked over to his tool shed and picked out an edger. Then he turned to face Dennis with a grin on his face. The man set the gun on the tool box, and started walking towards him eagerly.
'No...I cannot let this happen!' Dennis thought to himself. Suddenly a new found energy entered Dennis. He knew it was adrenaline. He was surprised at this point that he had any adrenaline left.
He got up off the ground and bolted towards the man, catching him off guard and knocking him to the floor. The man dropped the edger to the ground in the fall. Dennis didn't waste time. He grabbed the edger, raised it, and struck. The man lifted his hands just in time to stop himself from being impaled in the face, but the edger still found his skin, and sliced the old man's middle finger clean off.
The scream that came from the man was menacing. The old man was stunned and holding his injured hand. Dennis took advantage of this moment, rolled off the man, and snatched the gun off the tool box.
This was it. Dennis had to finish this. He had to end this man's tyranny over innocents. It was now or never. Dennis aimed the small semi-automatic pistol at the man. The old man was still in agonizing pain, clutching his hand. Dennis felt his finger move toward the trigger. He pulled it half way back and.... let it go.
He couldn't bring himself to do. Dennis had never taken someone's life before.
How would he live with himself if he did this?
'What am I doing? I need to end this right now!' Dennis lectured himself mentally.
'If I do this, then I will be no better than the evil man in front of me.'
Dennis dropped the gun to the floor.
Dennis turned towards the door, to his freedom.
His plan was to get the cops, and have this man put away for life.
He made it half way their, when he heard a rugged, painful, chuckle from behind.
What was he laughing at now?
Dennis approached the door and tried to open it, but it was locked.
He turned, to notice the man had gotten up. In between them, almost exactly half way, was the gun. Both had their eyes on it.
Both were ready.
Dennis's adrenaline had already worn off.
This was hopeless.
-------

Former Problem: Dennis was held hostage at gun point.

this is the last new Problem: Dennis is locked in the house, injured, and stuck with a crazed man who is ready to grab a gun and kill him.

Its all you Vi.

Good luck!
Loved the debate, hope this will catch on.
-philosophical
Vi_Veri

Con

Every squeeze of his veins for blood pulsed through his skull. His ears popped from all of the pressure; his hands were pale with fright.

The old man's eyes twinkled as he laughed. "Come on, boy!" he taunted, smiling wildly. "Come on, soldier, this is the trenches! Do you know how many Charlies lost their lives chasing me towards a gun?" His body was trembling with excitement. Dennis gulped.

This old man before him had slaughtered countless people. The war had never left his tortured mind. Dennis's nerves started to burn. This was the man who had hurt his best friend, who had torn off bits of skin from a helpless woman, who had probably done much more horrific and vile things in his disgusting existence. And now, he was going to take Dennis's life.

The old man stumbled slightly, his eyes blanking and his breath catching. He touched his bleeding severed stub that was once a finger. Dennis felt a relief spread through his body. The loss of blood was getting to him. "Boy..." the old man tried, setting his hand to his forehead. He seemed uncontrollably tired. "Boy..." The old man settled his body against the lone pillar in the basement. Dennis took his chance.

Pushing off his heel, Dennis harnessed any strength he had left and bolted for the gun. The cool metal of the tool pressed against his palm as he swiftly picked it up off of the grimy basement floor. The old man was bewildered, but his strength was being tested by his physical injury.

Dennis ran for the stairs. He wasn't going to shoot the man. No, he still wasn't ready to stoop to that level. He did need to get the hell out of here, though. Dennis bit his lip hard and made his way back up the stairs. Each step sent a shooting pain through his body. He hoped he had enough strength to make it out alive.

At the top of the staircase he realized the condition of the door: locked, locked, locked. Lifting the gun to the door knob, he squeezed the trigger. The sound and vibration of the gun threw him back. Catching himself on the railing of the staircase, Dennis used strength he wished he hadn't on saving himself from collapsing onto the stairs. He heard the old man roar, and then heavy steps against the bottom of the staircase.

Dennis focused. Kicking open the door, he ran into the hall, the old man at his heels. Running into the hallway, Dennis felt the old man's fingertips brush up against his back. He almost grasped the material of Dennis's hoodie. The boy felt tears well up against his eyelids. The running was sending a pain so severe up his legs that he felt just about ready to just turn around and shoot.

The air left Dennis's lungs abruptly. The old man had grabbed his hoodie. Without so much as a thought, Dennis quickly tugged his hoodie off before the old man could pull it properly. The angle at which the old man's body was turned canceled out any run for the living room that the boy could make, but the old man had forgotten one thing... the upstairs. With a growl, the veteran cursed the boy, but Dennis had already made his way up the next stair case to the second floor.

As the stair case came to an end, Dennis realized he was far more trapped than before. He panicked, looking left, then looking right. "I've got you, boy!" the old man screamed, the stair case behind Dennis thundering with heavy boots pounding against the old wood.

Pick one, pick one, Dennis thought, and turned right out of habit. He was going to die... He was going to die because he wasn't willing to shoot. "Boy, I'm going to carve your heart out and devour it!" Dennis felt all of the blood drain out of his body. He had no strength left... he was hobbling, and now he was stuck in the old man's bedroom.

And old, soggy mattress was pushed up against a wall, and a lamp glowed a dim yellow light in the opposite corner. Dennis heard himself whimper. This was it... he was going to die... he had no strength left in his body.

The old man threw his body past the open doorway. With a soft snicker, he circled around Dennis. "I know you're not going to shoot, little girl," he mocked, as Dennis circled as well. They kept a couple of feet between them, but Dennis knew the man could grasp him within a second or two. "Come on, drop the gun and just let me have my way with you," the man laughed; his yellow teeth grimacing as his blood trickled onto the wooden floor.

Dennis rose the gun.

"Oh my, the girl has balls!" The old man roared with laughter. Dennis's hands were shaking. He had to aim true. He closed one eye, taking his time. "Are you going to shoot me? You shoot me and I'll just keep coming. You shoot me and I'll make your death so gruesome!"

Dennis held his breath. This was it. This was his only chance. If this shot didn't make it, he might as well turn the gun on himself. "BOY!" the old man screamed, and Dennis squeezed the trigger.

The shattering of glass was accompanied by the old man's body hitting the ground. Dennis took the very last shred of his strength, and he ran.

He ran right past the old man's body as the veteran tried grasping for his heels. His attempts failed, and Dennis jumped out of the window he had shot for.

Victoria gasped as Dennis bounded out of the shattered window. His arms and legs flailed in the dim sunlight as he plummeted towards the hard ground. His body crumbled as he hit the dirt on his side, police and medics made a break for him. Victoria was there before them.

"Dennis! Denny, please," she skid next to him onto her knees, holding his head up as his fingers uncurled; letting the gun drop to the ground.

"Victoria..." he smiled, looking up at her with exhaustion in his eyes. She brushed back his hair with her fingers as the medics checked out his injured body.

"Dennis, you made it," she sighed with relief, kissing his forehead.

The police stormed the house as the medics tended to the fallen Dennis. The old man could be heard screaming and cursing out the broken window. He would be taken away soon enough, and all of the horrors that the house had witnessed would come to an end. Who knew how many bodies they would find in his basement... the thought sent a chill through Victoria's spine...

"Victoria," Dennis coughed as the medic bandaged up his broken arm; the fall had snapped the bone in two, but Dennis's debilitation had ceased any recognition of pain from his mind. She nodded, ready to hear anything he had to say. "Did we win the bet?" he joked, relief of their safety overwhelming him.

Victoria laughed, holding his hand tightly as everything around them seemed to situate itself again. Nothing would ever be exactly the same, no, but this experience had shown them the lengths of their friendship.

"I don't think anyone at school will ever look at us the same again..."

______________________________

The End.

Problem solved: Dennis is locked in the house, injured, and stuck with a crazed man who is ready to grab a gun and kill him.

This was a lot of fun, Phil! I hope the readers enjoy our story : ) It was a blast writing with you.

Regards,

Vi
Debate Round No. 5
34 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by silntwaves 7 years ago
silntwaves
i loved this thing!! :}}
Posted by silntwaves 7 years ago
silntwaves
"Dennis pulled the phone out of Victoria's pocket, opened the "new message" option (which i presume most cellular phones have) and typed in the message to Victoria. He didn't senit to anyone, he was merely using it as a form of silent communication. The message was meant for her to read, with out the phone actively sending or recieving anything."

Okay..so he didnt send the message. but unless the phone was on silent the whole time (it wasnt cuz it rang outside) the buttons should have made noise, thus, they should have been dead in Round 1 or 2.

"If you want, i can challenge you to a writers debate"

like i said on ur profile, teach me :]]
Posted by philosphical 7 years ago
philosphical
"what do you mean "un-called"? i mean if he created the message and the volume was on, the man should have heard the phone and they should have gotten captured anyway"

Dennis pulled the phone out of Victoria's pocket, opened the "new message" option (which i presume most cellular phones have) and typed in the message to Victoria. He didn't senit to anyone, he was merely using it as a form of silent communication. The message was meant for her to read, with out the phone actively sending or recieving anything.

"kay i do get it..and teach me how to write like that..i wanna do one of thosee. :]] hmm. i wonder if i could fit in doing a debate somewhere..:]"

If you want, i can challenge you to a writers debate
Posted by silntwaves 7 years ago
silntwaves
"when the two teens were in the closet, they never received a text message. Dennis needed a way to communicate with Victoria without being speaking, so he pulled out the phone, created a new message, and simply showed it to her. Their phone had the volume up the whole time, it just remained un-called until that specific moment when they were leaving the house."

what do you mean "un-called"? i mean if he created the message and the volume was on, the man should have heard the phone and they should have gotten captured anyway.

"Dennis was at the park when news of Victoria's capture reached him. He sought to take a police officer with him to go rescue her. While the police officer was arresting the old man, Dennis went down to save Victoria, only to later find the police officer has been killed."

Que, i do get it. :]]

"I hope you are enjoying the story, Vi and i have worked hard on it.
Feel free to ask either of us more questions.
-philosophical"

kay i do get it..and teach me how to write like that..i wanna do one of thosee. :]] hmm. i wonder if i could fit in doing a debate somewhere..:]
-silntwaves.
Posted by philosphical 7 years ago
philosphical
glad to answer those questions! :)

1st: "how did they text in the closet, and the man in the house didnt hear? was the phone on silent at that time or did it have sound?"

when the two teens were in the closet, they never received a text message. Dennis needed a way to communicate with Victoria without being speaking, so he pulled out the phone, created a new message, and simply showed it to her. Their phone had the volume up the whole time, it just remained un-called until that specific moment when they were leaving the house.

2nd: "how did that lead to the police showing up? one minute it was like....shes getting raped.....shes getting killed. and another minute its like the police are there. no one called or any thing. rape=freedom?"

Dennis was at the park when news of Victoria's capture reached him. He sought to take a police officer with him to go rescue her. While the police officer was arresting the old man, Dennis went down to save Victoria, only to later find the police officer has been killed.

I hope you are enjoying the story, Vi and i have worked hard on it.
Feel free to ask either of us more questions.
-philosophical
Posted by silntwaves 7 years ago
silntwaves
omg Vi_Veri post the end of the story soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :DDD
Posted by silntwaves 7 years ago
silntwaves
The old man searched the hall closet for the shovel. The remainders of the bodies would have to be hidden in the house, like all of the other disgusting pieces of trash he picked up on the road. The wooden handle of the shovel peeked out from behind an empty box, and the old man reached swiftly for it. His satisfied chuckle then caught dry in his throat.

The ice cold tip of a gun's barrel seized the old man's breath. The snapping back of the gun's hammer pooled sweat down his forehead. "Put...your...hands...up." The voice was firm, rough, and authoritative.

A beam of light swept across the basement, and Victoria held her breath, cherishing her last and final crisp intake of the world. Here goes, she thought, here goes my world, here go my memories, here goes my everything.

A form stepped into the doorway, and all of Victoria's hopes shifted. He was wonderful. Victoria began to cry.

Dennis sped to Victoria's side. Picking up a knife off of the arranged set on the table, Dennis began to whittle his way through the rope on her wrists. "Dennisssss," Victoria sobbed, pressing her head to his shoulder. Dennis soothed her, brushing his hand through her sopping hair as the ropes fell away from her body. Releasing her from the confines brought her to freedom, like a butterfly trailing away pieces of its cocoon. "Dennissss, I th-th-thought I was--"

"Shhh," he helped her up to her feet, moving her away from the horrific sight on the metal table. He walked her out of the physical hell.

The police officer reached behind him for the handcuff's. "You have the right to remain silent," he informed the old man, the words left his lips through memorized ease. "Everything you say ---"

how did that lead to the police showing up? one minute it was like....shes getting raped.....shes getting killed. and another minute its like the police are there. no one called or any thing. rape=freedom?
Posted by silntwaves 7 years ago
silntwaves
quick question. how did they text in the closet, and the man in the house didnt hear? was the phone on silent at that time or did it have sound? and even if the phone was on silent in the closet, how did it end up ringing outside? i mean was it sabatoge? did someone do it on purpose? or the phone was on ring the whole time and the man was too dumb enough to hear it the first time? only thing im confused about so far.
Posted by Vi_Veri 7 years ago
Vi_Veri
:p
Posted by philosphical 7 years ago
philosphical
"Think you can kill me? Charlies couldn't kill me in miles of jungle, how could you?!"

HAHAHA oh my god, I love it!
9 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 9 records.
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Vote Placed by TheSexicanMexican 7 years ago
TheSexicanMexican
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Vote Placed by Maikuru 7 years ago
Maikuru
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Vote Placed by Vi_Veri 7 years ago
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Vote Placed by Danielle 7 years ago
Danielle
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Vote Placed by philosphical 7 years ago
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Vote Placed by paramore102 7 years ago
paramore102
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