Yo dawg, we heard you like rhymes...

My opponent doesn't matter, you just haven't got a hope,
I'll violate you, you're a little kid and I'm the pope,
Tear flow so hard you'll look like you've been smoking dope,
Can you defeat me? The answer is always nope.

Spastic rhymes, morals, I don't give a sh!t,
Like Chris Brown to Rhianna, yes sir, I'm smashing it,
Spitting words like an epileptic,
Having a full-blown lyrical fit,
Stop crying, you haven't even been hit.
Thesaurus demon from the lowest pit.

The words I speak are reality,
Their force is just like gravity,
My mind's pure depravity,
There's no fight, your only choice is flee,
You have no chance of beating me,
Peep show, you want to come and see,
I am just who you want to be,
I have corrupted the whole dictionary,
Bow before me, down on one knee,
This lesson, I'm teaching it for free,
Opening doors, I am a skeleton key.

That's was just a taste,
My words arrive with haste,
I'm setting my own pace
And winning every race,
You simply have no case,
Empty a can of mace,
Point-black into my own face,
I will still fvcking see,
With perfect clarity,
Pull out my wicked tongue,
I'll still sing a better song,

Let see who you can do,
I'll be back in round two.

Intro
____
One two three fo,
yea here we go,
read this song to the mel-low f-low
It is fast paced, yo,
Too fast for this hoe,
I'll try to keep my sh!t just like my ride: on the down low.
TV- you don't know,
I'm such a pro,
You'll never recoup from this painful beating, "b-ro".
You will g-row,
to what I say "no, no!",
a preference to the dirty homosexu-al road.
____

Notice how, like a nursery rhyme, his short words: they're pitiful.
but the sh!t that I can spit is like my girlfriend: it's beautiful.
Multi-syllable, understandable, for you those rhymes ain't plentiful.
For me it's like a summer evening with yo mamma: a bucket full.

I could end this right now before it gets out of control,
but I don't see any reason NOT to spit all this sh!t whole,
The entirety- yes, my entire arsenal.
You don't stand a chance, against my equipped-arsenic flow.

Now let's get to the beef of this remorseful rap battle.
No flow, no beat, my opponent's bound to up and shatter.
Listen to the man, your man samman, while he batters,
everyone who thinks they spit, who thinks that their sh!t matters.
They think they got skill, these petty rappers with no daggers.
TV don't understand, I rep my sh!t like Marshall Mathers.
Like the monster Eminem: my flow kills all the pitter patter.
Like your doctor with your AIDS results- I silence all your chatter.

Outro
_____
So in that case I'll be brief and release this heavy info,
Niwa-Niwa-NEWS FLASH: your rhymes were just too simple.
Like you're STILL in high school math: a face covered with pimples,
No reason to unleash my wrath on a nerd slash wimp schmoe.
_____

This rap battle here is another opportunity,
For a pitiful opponent to commit suicide to me,
It looks like he's indulging in auto-erotic asphyxiation,
‘cause he's choking and his words are just verbal masturbation,
You better get into your reconnaissance M93 Fox
I rain down radioactive lyrics on you until you fit in a shoe box,
Maybe you're star gazing up at Messier 93
You're kidding if you think you've got a chance up against me,

My mind is cursed by Shaitan,
I played around, waiting
to fire this retaliation.
My focus is a mean laser beam,
my words come blasting like compressed steam,
to melt your whole fvcking face off,
you got too close, you lose, you've lost.

Sure, my first rap was short and sweet, I was just tenderising the meat,
Now I've got you off your feet, unquestionably beat, tied to your seat,
singing "stuck in the middle with you", yeah, I'm turning up the heat.
Cut your ear off and cover you with gas, but this story doesn't have a Mr. Orange
Reducing you to your char-grilled bones so your fatty tissue looks like porridge,
Your remains will feed a family of rats, that will find you while they forage.

Lets makes this sh!t clear, you're samman and I'm the bear,
This fight was always unfair, you're running up Escher's stair,
No end will ever be in sight, you can run and run, you'll lose this fight,
One pinky finger stops all your might, no-one will help you with your plight.

I'm the plague bringer of DDO, spewing death and pain and illness,
The monster Eminem hears my words and says he feels it,
It's a shame my AIDS results were positive, because I've already fvcked you,
In nine months you'll have an anal birth; the baby will say you suck too.

The only news-flash happening here, is when your girlfriend realises that you're queer,
She gets into my unmarked car and I turn her into a bukkake star
I really hope you didn't spit your whole arsenal, cause I'm still running with my tank full,
The basic maths of a grade three would calculate my victory.
Bring on the wrath, my favourite sin. It makes for a more satisifying win.

I wish we could've done this with video : / Oh well. This is still fun hahaha

Notice what TV did to start up round two,
He took my advice, yea TV I found you.
Quit playin hide and seek, cuz I get around fools,
You can't run either because I have a profound tool-
My flow, my flow, yea it can tear up the world,
So just watch as my reserved arsenal is unfurled.
You didn't understand, what I meant in my previous hurl,
My full arsenal meant what I rep when I dumbell curl.
But when I use my whole body there's a whole new swirl,
You see my 6 pack that brings me many girls,
And when I use my mind your whole world will whirl.
Like you're a falling flower petal, as you twirl and twirl.

Now listen up you cocky bear, platyPUSSY thinkin "yippee,
I spit the last rap! Now I'm sure to beat this hippy!"
Well you ain't seen spit until you SEE me when I'm gleeky,
Till you HEAR my rhymes get freaky
Till you TASTE my nuts'z cheesy.
I'll nut all over you till you can't breathy-ea[*], lungs wheezy-ea[*]
That's what my flow is, breezy
You can't pick up my free Weezy
When my fame's like Lil' Wayne's is
But voice scary as young Jeezy

So listen mayne, I don't think you'll realize her
The girl you wanna bukkake-ize-er,
you'll cum in yo momma's eyes, or
Unless you wanna sodomize her
I'm cool with that, go terrorize her
Incest will only up-size her
And while you're getting down on her,
You'll see why you're un-wiser,
than my dick that had capsized her,
while she was drunk on Anheuser,
high on crack's and weed's and smack's power
That's when I finally pulled outside her,
That's when I knew you'd wanna have her.

I hope my rhymes haven't hurt you little,
I wish that you see how clearly belittled,
The readers see with your flow so brittle.
By the time they finish this, my sh!t'll
Have them listen to it like t'was to a royal fiddle.
"Obeyeth my commands, or else, oh yes, my kid'll
Have 'fun' with you. I ordereth you salted, fried, McGriddled"
Because I royally devour you,
I shower you with bullets...
I cower you, overpower you with my murderous Russian Roulette.
So now will you go to tower two, the one guarded by cadets.
They'll scour you and sour your mouth like my young bachelorettes.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________
*- read like breatheeya
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Thanks again for a lot of fun. I'm really enjoying this : )

Ok samman, I bet I had you laughing in your boots.
Thinking tvell's gonna drop the ball instead of shoot.
Run on the court,
Throw a swish through the hoop, Rap around in loops.
Having you eating my words like it's an anthrax alphabet soup.
I know right, you thinking imma miss the deadline.
The only dead lines here are ones in your weak rhymes.
I broke time like I was flooring a Delorean. My lyrics are McFly,
Yours sh1t's is causing snoring, and then…
My words come pouring like water out the spout
And smack you so hard your lips are stuck in a permanent pout.
I rap about, the things that I see.
The disses that you make are nothing but a fvcking fantasy.
My sixth sense, I'm predicting your loss.
Six cents, that's what your mommas dirty cvnt costs.
Her sex scents, on my d1ck when she squirts.
I better ease up before I leave your little feelings hurt.
Incense, I burn real slow.
Break it down for you so you understand my flow.
You put words together like you was a gangsta,
Verse two, last round, I told you that you was a wanksta.
Your royal fiddle? What you on the roof?
A mickey mouse club membership is all I got for you goof.
You want proof, that your rhymes don't work?
Lets have a little looky at this one fvcking sh1t verse…
Something, something, something breathy-ea, lungs wheezy-ea, ahhh...
Sounds like you're having an attack of Scarlett fvcking fever.
Something, something, something salted, fried and McGriddled.
You're just a fvcking clown b1tch. Admit you've been rap killed.
Lyrics like that are so just fvcking lame,
PC Pain, they're causing error codes.
Maybe it'd work if you weren't stuck in ID-10-T mode.
I am thrilled, that you tried so hard.
But your raps are so bad that they should be put behind bars.
What's the matter are you scared to let rip?
Or is this the lyrical complexity you got trip?
You're just a coward, I maintain and digress
You got more feathers than an Indians head-dress.
Face turns white when I call everyone of his lyrics filler.
Blood draining so fast, you'll swear I was the ice-truck killah.
That's it. I've killed this boy yo.
If you got any sense you'll put all your points towards pro.

So I'll admit that my boy tvell has gotten slightly betta (better),
But he just doesn't know that he will never reach my level.
I spit the illest sh!t ever be-dropped to this fella (fellow)
I'm stomping ahead of competitors
With egos swelling, cracking skulls of theirs
Running around like a pedobear
Tryina get to the kid over there,

You've come to the wrong place,
Just looking for God's grace,
You can head to the mosque, mate
There I'll reveal the right take.

Qura'anic revelation
To your head is just sanitation
You've been brainwashed in Aussie nation
So come to what I'm sayin:

You're called a "kafer" in Islam
That means you just aren't safe from
The things that (people make em)
They're called sins and you just fake em

So basically I'm Muslim, and yes brother I'm here to save you.
So listen really closely as I take you to a place you,
Have never known until you truly visit where I take you.
Where you're going now is a place I call "Samman's great view"
From up here I can see that all these rappers are just tier two.
Ghost of past and present, future; the past is what we see through.
What you have been tellin me is sh!t; a child's doodoo.
So here we go let's analyze the dump that you took me through.
You saw a rap, wanted a go, then you went to try two.
The other IDK about, but this one you're just my shoe.
I wear you just to look real clean, you keep the dirt and glue.
More evidence I'm killing you? What else does a shoe do?
At my murder scene, my footprints- I killed you and I filled you.
So clearly, brother, a shoe is all you're willed to.
Now as I near the end of this sh!t let's just skim through round 2.
You were really incoherent, and I don't really mean to diss you.
But all that you did made you like a toilet- I piss in you.
So open real wide, be sure you're ready, here I surprise you:
You see my dick as it flips out, it shocks you, it's your prize too!
Being a toilet, that's the best thing that you can look to.

So next time you instigate a battle, bro, be sure, a dick, you're not on.
As for your first, we know I've won, this medallion clearly goes con.