The Instigator
IwinYoulose333
Pro (for)
Tied
0 Points
The Contender
muffin8or
Con (against)
Tied
0 Points

Yo mama joke battle

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/14/2013 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 4 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,097 times Debate No: 30273
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (7)
Votes (0)

 

IwinYoulose333

Pro

This is going to be a Yo mama joke battle. These jokes are all in the name of fun so don't hate.

The argument max is 2000 letters, because I don't want it to be super long.

To whoever my competitor is please right no more than 10 jokes at one time.

1. Yo mama is so fat when she goes to the movie theater she sits next to everyone.
2. Yo mama so ugly Bob the Builder took one look at her and said I can't fix that.
3. Yo mama so ugly when she joined the ugly contest the judges said sorry no professionals.
4. Yo mama's house is so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
5. Yo mama is so hairy the only language she speaks is wookie.
6. Yo mama is so flat she's jealous of the wall.
7. Yo mama is so big she had to get her own area code.
8. Yo mama is so poor when I went to her house and stepped on a cigarette butt she said "Hey, who turned out the heat?"
9. Yo mama is so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.
10. Yo mama is so stupid she had to climb over a glass wall to see what was on the other side of it.

I await my opponent.
muffin8or

Con

My first round and riposte is a regaling reply to each of my worthy opponent's arguments.

Arguments

1. Your mother is so stupid that she told her child there was a single seat situated next to everyone in a movie theatre.

2. Your mother is so stupid she had a non-veridical auditory perception (i.e. hallucination) of Bob the Builder not using his catchphrase when in fact he did.

3. Your mother is so ugly she adjudicated the aforementioned ugly contest to which my mother allegedly attended.

4. Your mother's house is so small she could not sell it during the pre-2008-financial-crisis property boom.

5. Your mother is so stupid that she conflates physical characteristics with linguistic ability. Indeed her stupidity extends such that her son believes this too.

6. Your mother is so stupid she ascribes my mother with both the properties of 'fatness' and 'flatness'. This again appears to extend to her progeny.

7. Your mother is so big scientists must use the Gravitational Constant (G) to recalculate the value of the acceleration due to gravity (g) when objects fall around her in order to maintain accurate physical models.

8. Your mother is so stupid she taught her son that a thermostat was a cigarette butt such that, when he entered my mother's house and kicked the thermostat into the off position, inviting my mother's question as to who turned off the heat, he thought the erroneous account would be a successful your mother joke.

9. Your mother has such poor ocular faculties that she perceived my athletic mother to be fat and stuck after completing a successful jump. These ocular troubles are hereditary and her son shares the same issue. One recommends the duo use a 2 for 1 deal at the nearest ophthalmologist.

10. Your mother's ocular difficulties have extended to the point where she perceives frosted glass as transparent. She was perplexed when my athletic mother climbed over to see what was on the other side. I believe there is a good ophthalmologist in the Mayfair area.

Debate Round No. 1
IwinYoulose333

Pro

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Really? How about a real yo mama joke battle?
muffin8or

Con

I thought this was a 'your mother' joke battle. Am I not making jokes against your mother? Without further ado, my next set of jokes!

1) Your mother is so fat, her BMI is greater than 40.

2) Your mother is so stupid, her IQ is 40.

3) Your mother is so old, her age is the square of 40.

4) Your mother is so short, her height in inches is 40.

5) Your mother's heart is so weak her bpm is 40.

6) Your mother is so promiscuous, her annual sexual partners number 40.

7) Your mother's house is so small, its square footage is only 40.

8) Your mother is so poor, her annual savings, in dollars, is 40.

9) Your mother's ocular faculties are so poor, her numbers are -40, -40.

10) Your mother's vocabulary is so constrained, the number of words she knows is 40.

I hand over to my worthy and gracious opponent.

Debate Round No. 2
IwinYoulose333

Pro

Thank you. You seem to like the number 40 a lot.

1. Yo mama is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
2. Yo mama is so fat the National Weather service names each one of her farts.
3. Yo mama is so ugly...that...well look at you.
4. Yo mama is so ugly she makes blind children cry.
5. Yo mama is so old her birth certificate says expired.
6. Yo mama is so fat she walked into the Gap and filled it.
7. Yo mama is so fat she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
8. Yo mama is so fat she puts her lipstick on with a paint roller.
9. Yo mama is so fat that she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the New World.
10. Yo mama is so fat that she fell out of both sides of her bed.

On to my opponent.
muffin8or

Con

I haven't seen those before(!) The next set of jokes are meant to be intellectually entertaining. There are only 5 but for your cerebral pleasure, citations have been given such that you may appreciate/investigate the jokes.


1. Your mother is so fat, her weight can only be expressed concisely with Knuth's up-arrow notation. [1]


2. Your mother is so fat, her Schwarzchild radius exceeds that of the Andromeda Galaxy. [2]


3. Your mother is so fat, scientists use her to measure the effects of gravitational lensing. [3]


4. Your mother is so fat, a clock next to her ticks twice as slow as one on the moon. [4]


5. Your mother's ocular faculties are so weak, she cannot perceive the first line on a Snellen chart. [5]


-----------


[1] http://en.wikipedia.org...


[2] http://en.wikipedia.org...


[3] http://en.wikipedia.org...


[4] http://en.wikipedia.org...


[5http://en.wikipedia.org...

Debate Round No. 3
IwinYoulose333

Pro

IwinYoulose333 forfeited this round.
muffin8or

Con

It is a shame that my opponent has forfeited his round. The following is a narrative about your [his] mother. It opens with a rather snappy quatrain.


"If ever there were a fall from grace,


'Tis writ across her twisted face.


For as she glid, flowing and fair,


Fate foretold her great despair."



And now the harrowing story!


"All newborn babes are engendered in beauty, and your mother was one whose irrefutably fair. Her twisted flaxen hair fell past the shoulders and rested across her full and wholesome heart. This she knew. She saw the watchful eye and returned her crafty smile. She used them for her own gains; for passion, for money, for good food and strong wine. Yet, while she ravaged the hearts of men, it was time who ravaged her. No longer could she demand passion. Money could no longer bring the simplest pleasures. Good food betrayed her lusty hips. And even the strongest wine could not dull her savage looks."


And with this great tragedy upon our shoulders, we highlight the eternal truth in couplet form:


"Time, the army, marches quickly forth,


Not even the harlot could stop its course."

Debate Round No. 4
IwinYoulose333

Pro

IwinYoulose333 forfeited this round.
muffin8or

Con


By forfeiting this round and indeed the debate/battle, my opponent is making it easy to win but hard to fight. Hard to fight in that he isn't giving me any inspiration and easy to win in that forfeiting normally means the opposition wins. I shall try to, for the fourth time, reach a greater climax than my previous arguments.


And now, the greatest joke of all:


"Your mother is beautiful."


Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to deconstruct this joke. Working within the infrastructure of a your mother joke battle, one makes disparaging falsehoods about the oppositions mother. I have gone beyond this and used the very infrastructure itself to create the most scathing joke of all. The challenge of saying something false as an insult has been taken to the next level. Thank you ladies and gentlemen. Vote con!


Debate Round No. 5
7 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 7 records.
Posted by IwinYoulose333 4 years ago
IwinYoulose333
I gave up on this debate. VOTE PRO
Posted by IwinYoulose333 4 years ago
IwinYoulose333
My face palm is kind of messed up. I just was surprised by these new fangled Yo mama joke battles.
Posted by muffin8or 4 years ago
muffin8or
Ah! A few of them are poorly formed; I wrote them in a rush. Perhaps a positive side is that these aren't formulations that have existed for 20 years.
Posted by jp1999 4 years ago
jp1999
I think he was taken aback by the small mistakes of grammar in there......
Posted by muffin8or 4 years ago
muffin8or
Is there some issue?
Posted by IwinYoulose333 4 years ago
IwinYoulose333
um....
Posted by muffin8or 4 years ago
muffin8or
What ho, fellows! I believe I have gotten of this malarkey. Good debating to you, sir!
No votes have been placed for this debate.