The Instigator
Pro (for)
The Contender
Con (against)

You have to shove a pineapple up your Bum. what way do you do it? I say leaves first.

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pineapple_conundrum has forfeited round #3.
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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 10/18/2016 Category: Health
Updated: 1 year ago Status: Debating Period
Viewed: 639 times Debate No: 96212
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (6)
Votes (0)




I say that the sheer Girth of the pineapple going in at the round end would rupture and maybe split your anus. the leaves might spike you, sure, but its much better then putting the max width of the pineapple up your anus at the very beginning of the experience.


The sheer girth, as you stated, would rupture the anus. This is why it would be best to liquefy the pineapple and inject it like an enema. Though it will still be far from comfortable, it will do minimal damage in the anal region.
Debate Round No. 1


Although that is a very clever idea and i will give credit where credit is due, I would like to remind you that the argument is more about the orientation of the pineapple and not so much about the method of insertion. we are here to debate about if leaves first is a safer option or if the base of the fruit is more viable. Although we do agree that it would most likely end in complete destruction of your anus we still have to decide which orientation is the more viable and safer option.

Thanks you for your clever option as i had not thought of a liquid injection.


With that being said, I must apologize. The question really is, "You have to shove a WHOLE pineapple up your anus".

The issue with the leaves going in first is that they are very rigid. If one combines this with the spikes that are pointed towards the leaves of the pineapple, this would make puncturing/laceration of the anal region much easier. With the bottom end of the fruit, you do not get those extra injuries that you would in a leaves-first attempt. In addition, the most difficult part of the pineapple would be going in first, making it progressively more pleasant, comparatively. The angst of knowing that the worse is still yet to come is eliminated entirely.
Debate Round No. 2
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Debate Round No. 3
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Debate Round No. 4
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Debate Round No. 5
6 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 6 records.
Posted by AnEmpty 1 year ago
Hmm...while I am not expecting a response for this, I nonetheless feel compelled to answer CK's indirect challenge of making the distinction of when is a pineapple a pineapple, in regards to forms.

A pineapple can only be a pineapple if it is readily identifiable by the reasonable person as a pineapple, hence for it to be a pineapple, it has to look like a pineapple in everyway, have a taste that is perceptibly that of a pineapple; in short, it is a unique existence that is recognized as a form distinct from all other forms as processed by the 5 senses, and bearing a different function from every other object and its other states. So when comparing a full sized pineapple to that of a slice of pineapple or a single cell specific to the pineapple, while they are distinctively 3 states which a pineapple exists or made to exist, following an ontological approach, without the whole pineapple being in existence, no derived forms may be brought into existence. Furthermore, only the whole pineapple may perform such unique functions as satisfying this debate's question of which way a pineapple is best shoved up the butt, hence it is very different from such derivatives of the pineapple as a sliver of pineapple.

And contrary to the tacit element you had mentioned of the challenge proposed by proposition to not involve any aids, an object with the girth and texture of a pineapple (man-sticks alone, despite their aero dynamic shapes, have trouble penetrating fully into another person's anus without the use of lubrication), would be so painful (excluding outliers such as those who are born with impaired sensation receptors in that part of their bodies) upon forced insertion that any individual attempting it would likely stop, or would have lost consciousness midway. As such, inferring, from the lack of any publicized attempts, of the human condition in response to having a whole pineapple shoved up the butt, it is surely implied in the debate question that aids may be use
Posted by CK_85 1 year ago
To, AnEmpty:
Firstly, very good point. Secondly, when you say trim the spikes off, this raises a question like the Sorites Paradox. You would agree that a very small sliver of a pineapple is not a pineapple, as it's a very small slice. At what point between a full pineapple and that very small sliver can you no longer consider it a pineapple? And why does adding back in one pineapple cell make it a pineapple again? Plus, this debate is now a tacit agreement for the sake of debate, that it's a fully grown, whole pineapple being shoved in with no lubrication.
Posted by AnEmpty 1 year ago
Actually, the explicit use of the word "shove" precludes all other manner of insertion, save for that of physically pushing a pineapple into one's bum. Much like how you can only shove a person away by pushing the entirety of his/her body away, and not disintegrating him/her, then shove the ashes away. A pineapple is only a pineapple if it is a whole pineapple- an apple is neither apple juice nor apple slices, right?

Having said that, I opt for sheathing the pineapple in a form that facilitates the maximum amount of pressure at its point of penetration, while drenched in lubrication. Or first, simply trim the "spikes" off the bottom before easing it into the rectum through the anus sphincter, after having been lubricated very, very generously and having stretched your anus sphincter sufficiently to fit a whole pineapple- a pineapple is a pineapple even if it is a unripe, budding pineapple, since it has not been mentioned if it needs to be ripe or of the standard size.

Very nice idea to liquefy the pineapple though.
Posted by PowerPikachu21 1 year ago
I choose Option 3, and nothing says anyone must shove anything in anyone's buttox.
Posted by Tree_of_Death 1 year ago
Wtf is this debate??!
Posted by sboss18 1 year ago
Pro did not properly define the dichotomy between the two choices in his opening statement. Con was well within his rights to liquefy said pineapple.
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